Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Archives for July 2009

Enough

It’s one of those just-enough-to-pay-the-bills kind of months. You know, the kind where you hold your breath, close your eyes and pray that when you’re done subtracting, there will be something, anything, left in the checking account, even if it’s single digits. Tell me I’m not alone here. Tell me you’ve been there.

God has been speaking to me through songs recently. Maybe that’s because I’ve neglected reading the Bible and praying lately. Instead of meditating on His Word, my mind has been filled with the how-to’s of paying bills and making ends meet.
Today, I remembered the Caedmon’s Call song “This World.” The chorus says: “This world has nothing for me, and this world has everything. All that I could want and nothing that I need.” Sometimes I’m down when there’s only enough money to pay the bills. And I’m jealous of people who get to take vacations or make new purchases or even save a little for a rainy day. But as this song runs through my head, I remember what’s important. That all the stuff this world has to offer, even the good, fun stuff, is nothing compared with what God has to offer.
I’ve been adding to my guitar-playing repertoire, and one of the recent additions is the Chris Tomlin song “Enough.” It was a favorite during my college days, and I’m still encouraged by its chorus: “All of you is more than enough for all of me, for every thirst and every need, you satisfy me with your love, and all I have in you is more than enough.” Even with single-digits in the checking account, I have more than enough to get through this life. That sometimes sounds naive when I think it or voice it, but I can’t think of anything I would miss more in my life if it wasn’t there than Jesus.
Yesterday, as I was making French toast for breakfast, I started singing “Seek Ye First,” especially the verse that says “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God, Allelu, alleluia.” That’s almost a direct quote from Matthew 4:4, when the devil is tempting Jesus to satisfy his hunger by turning stones into bread. This convicts me. Even Jesus wouldn’t use his own means to meet a basic need in his life. He trusted his Father, even with his hunger.
This is so contrary to our culture. We applaud people who “make something of themselves.” We’re expected to solve our own problems. We value people based on their net worth. We’re impressed by the number of things we amass.
And yet the Bible’s message is consistent with the song lyrics … the world has nothing of real value to offer, God is more than enough of what we need, we’re not to live only on bread.
Oh, Jesus, help me embrace that counter-cultural attitude and trust that You are truly all I need. Amen.

Better together

We had a rough weekend. As Phil put it this morning, I haven’t felt this tired since Isabelle was a baby. Isabelle battled a fever all weekend, thus her usual sleep patterns were disrupted. She didn’t nap well during the day, and at night she would sleep for 3-4 hours at a time, then wake up hungry and have trouble going back to sleep. Fortunately, when the doctor checked her out this morning, she couldn’t find any sign of ear infection or throat abnormality, so she left us in wait-and-see mode. We didn’t have to wait long. She was fever-free all day.

It’s a relief, in a way, to know that nothing’s wrong, but the emotional toll of the weekend almost makes me wish there was some explanation for the suffering … both hers and ours. Phil started a new night job this weekend, on top of his regular job which is Saturday early evenings and Sunday afternoons, so much of the burden for caring for Isabelle fell to me, day and night. I don’t deal well with anyone in our family being even a little bit sick, so I found myself crying every time he left the house. I was emotionally empty, physically drained and spiritually dry. I haven’t cried that hard in a while.
Sunday night was by far the roughest of the weekend, but that afternoon, I was more hopeful than I had been all weekend because I knew at least that Phil would be there for a day/night block of time without interruption. Even when Isabelle’s crying for “Mommy, mommy, mommy,” I’m encouraged when he’s just in the house because there’s another option for her care.
The whole situation made me think of the verse in Ecclesiastes that is sometimes used in weddings.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NIV)
I take this to mean that God does not intend for us to go through life alone. Married or not, we need other people to help us along in our life’s journey, especially when the tough times come. Otherwise, we end up burnt out — spiritually, physically, and emotionally. We don’t always need someone who can fix our problems or pull us out of the tough times. Sometimes all we need is a shoulder to cry on, a warm embrace, a kind word, or a listening ear.
And while we’re strong together, we’re strongest when God is in the relationship, be it a marriage, a friendship or a family.
It’s not always easy to admit we need other people, but it’s clear from God’s Word that Christians, especially, are meant to function as one unit, a body. Toes wouldn’t last very long by themselves, nor would ears or noses. The parts of our bodies are designed to work together for the good of the body; so, too, should we, the body of Christ work together for the good of the whole.
We don’t have to go through life, the good or the bad, alone. We’re not meant to. Who do you need in your life today?