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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Archives for May 2010

A beautiful mind

May 11, 2010

Day 17. Today was good. Lots of great conversation. That’s a rarity for this stay-home-mom-of-two. It’s been great to have time to talk and catch up with family and friends. To reminisce about the way things were before husbands and kids; to compare notes about husbands and kids now; to envision what lies ahead.

Much of the conversation with friends centers on church life, church growth, church mission — you get the idea. As people on the path toward full-time pastoral ministry, my husband and I seem to often end up in conversations such as these. It’s like research, but that makes it sound a little shallow or meaningless. I just enjoy the chance to hear from those in church leadership and laity about what is and isn’t working. Maybe by hearing their stories, we can avoid making some mistakes.

Although Phil shares a lot of what he learns in seminary with me, I seldom retain what he tells me. Somewhere between his mouth and my ears, the information is swallowed up in a black hole of housework, child care and sleep deprivation.

Occasionally I can contribute something of what he’s learned, or what we’re learning together as we practice ministry, but most of the time, I just feel like I’m babbling. My husband, on the other hand, has a sponge for a mind. He soaks up what he hears, reads and sees and can squeeze out the appropriate thought at the appropriate time. It’s beautiful.

He would have loved today’s talks. And my account of them won’t do them justice.

Soon enough, he’ll be in the conversations. Just a few more days.

Filed Under: 21 Days of Separation, Uncategorized Tagged With: church growth, church life, conversation, full-time ministry, good memory

Baby sitter, emphasis on the sitter

May 10, 2010

Day 16. Today, I needed my husband’s arms. Not so much for me, but for our five-month-old. The boy would not nap today. I blame teething. And my own inability to sit still for longer than a few minutes. Maybe I should say he would not nap anywhere but in someone’s arms, and I had no patience or desire for that. Nap time is Mommy time, and I selfishly wanted it today. Each time I tried to put my son on a bed or in a pack n’ play, his eyes popped open and he gave me that “Oh, was I sleeping? ‘Cause now I’m not” look. And I just got more and more frustrated. Thankfully, my dad was home from work, so he entertained his grandson for a couple of non-sleeping hours while I took a break then finished fixing dinner.

I could have napped, too. I should have napped, too. But I resisted. And I know if my husband had been here, I could have easily plopped my sleeping son in his lap and let him be the baby sitter during nap time. This is something my husband does well and even enjoys. Especially if he’s not had a lot of time with the children. He can just sit and hold them for as long as it takes. Me? I think of a hundred other things I could, or should, be doing.

And I feel like a bad mother for admitting that, but it’s the truth. Not all “hold me” days are like this for me. Some days, I give in and take a nap, too, or get caught up on a good book.

Not sure why today was different. But we survived another day without a daddy. And found another reason we need him in our lives.

Filed Under: 21 Days of Separation, Marriage, Uncategorized Tagged With: holding babies, Mommy time, naps, teething

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Hi. I’m Lisa, and I’m glad you’re here. If we were meeting in real life, I’d offer you something to eat or drink while we sat on the porch letting the conversation wander as it does. That’s a little bit what this space is like. We talk about books and family and travel and food and running, whatever I might encounter in world. I’m looking for the beauty in the midst of it all, even the tough stuff. (You’ll find a lot of that here, too.) Thanks for stopping by. Stay as long as you like.

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