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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Archives for May 2010

I just don’t know what to do with myself

May 5, 2010

Day 11. I forget how unscheduled we are without Phil. Even though he’s not terribly organized, our days revolve around him. On the days he has class, I have small windows of opportunity to do housework. When he works, I know I don’t have to plan anything special for supper, unless I’m really bored with eating leftovers and want to give Isabelle and myself a treat. I can’t say I miss finals week, though. Usually even when he’s in the house, he’s inaccessible because of needing to work on projects or papers.

The days without him are passing fast enough … sometimes too fast … with visits to friends and family, and opportunities like we had this morning to go to a moms’ Bible study at church. Still, I don’t know exactly what to do with the days. I don’t have the usual amount of errands, cooking, dishes and laundry to deal with, so I find myself looking for things to do. This morning, that meant spending money. Can’t afford to do that every day.

I’m a doer, so maybe this is a chance to learn to “be” more. With summer coming, and the probability that my husband won’t have any classes, just work, maybe this is an early adjustment for that transition.

As it is, I can’t believe we’re halfway through our separation. We always run out of time to visit those we love, and I can already sense the days slipping away. Better make the most of them while we have them.

Filed Under: 21 Days of Separation, Uncategorized Tagged With: Bible study, cooking, dishes, errands, finals, homework, housework, husbands and wives, laundry, schedules

The ghosts of birthdays past

May 4, 2010

Day 10. The time apart seems to be going faster now. When I told someone my husband’s last class of the semester was next week, it seemed odd to think we were that close to seeing him again.

Today’s my birthday. It’s not unusual in our dating and married life to be apart on my birthday. Past birthdays in our five-year relationship have found us in separate cities and on different continents. Different time zone? No big deal. Even the one year we were together we couldn’t celebrate too much because it was finals week.

For the duration of his seminary studies, I don’t expect to have much birthday on the actual day. The curse of a spring birthday, I guess. At least this year I was able to celebrate with the rest of the family. We enjoyed a day of fun and togetherness. Past years, in my husband’s absence, I’ve spent the day in no special way, having an Eeyore kind of “just another day” day.

My husband always makes it up to me, though. Even if it’s June before we get around to celebrating. In my husband’s family, the birthday tradition is that the birthday boy or girl gets to choose their meals for the entire today. So, I have a few weeks to plan a delectable meal prepared by my husband, one of only a couple of times a year I get to be meal pampered.

I’m remembering bits and pieces of other birthdays today. Like the surprise party my friends threw for me in my own house. Bowling note=great decoy. I almost peed my pants when they yelled, “Surprise!” Or the year I turned 17 and my friends and I challenged ourselves to see how much Mountain Dew we could drink. Final count: a lot.

I joke sometimes about being old and getting older — my stylist found my first gray hair on my head today; great birthday gift, huh? — but really I’m grateful, at 32, to have had 32 birthdays, to have 2 great kids and a wonderful husband. There was a time in my life where I was convinced I wouldn’t live longer than 25 and I couldn’t imagine life with a husband or kids.

Blessed, so blessed.

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4

Filed Under: 21 Days of Separation, Uncategorized Tagged With: birthdays, blessings, Eeyore, getting older, gray hair, husbands and wives, Mountain Dew, seminary, separation

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Hi. I’m Lisa, and I’m glad you’re here. If we were meeting in real life, I’d offer you something to eat or drink while we sat on the porch letting the conversation wander as it does. That’s a little bit what this space is like. We talk about books and family and travel and food and running, whatever I might encounter in world. I’m looking for the beauty in the midst of it all, even the tough stuff. (You’ll find a lot of that here, too.) Thanks for stopping by. Stay as long as you like.

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