Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Archives for November 2013

5 on Friday: Guilt-free Black Friday shopping

I avoid Black Friday shopping for the same reason I don’t go to the grocery store on Saturday mornings, Sundays or late afternoon on weekdays: I don’t like crowds, and people in a rush make me anxious.

That said, I do like shopping when I have money to spend. So, I don’t want to be a Black Friday party pooper, but I also want to encourage your holiday shopping to make a difference in the world, not just in your world.

Here are five places to shop tonight, and the rest of the holiday season (and all year long) that won’t leave you feeling guilty and will make a positive difference in someone else’s life.

1. Imagine Goods. I’ve told you before about the fabulous work these ladies are doing. But I’ll say it again. And again. And again. Here, they’re selling clothes, tablecloths, napkins, and aprons made through a trustworthy supply chain by workers earning a fair wage in Cambodia. They’re recycling clothing (and brass from landmines!) into new clothing and jewelry. And they provide a symbol on each of their pieces so you, the buyer, can learn about the person who made your clothing and what this job means to them.

2. Nozomi Project. A Japanese friend introduced me to this beautiful work. Through this project, Japanese women are finding hope and lives restored as they create jewelry from broken pottery left in the aftermath of the 2011 tsunami. The jewelry is beautiful and so are the stories.

3. The Exodus Road. Okay, this one is a limited time only. Ends Nov. 30. This anti-trafficking organization is offering gift packs ranging from $17-$25 that include a book about the organization, bumper stickers and a T-shirt or sweatshirt, depending on the donation. The real gift here isn’t what you get. It’s what you give. Purchasing a gift pack enables the funding of investigations into sex trafficking in Southeast Asia and India. Their goal by the end of tomorrow is to fund an entire year of investigations. Your purchase can help.

4. Restyle. I got a set of handmade cards from this company a few years ago, and they are gorgeous! Not only that, but they are eco-friendly and made by women earning a fair wage in India and El Salvador. (Are you sensing a theme here?) But cards are only a small part of their products. They, too, have jewelry made from seeds, wallets and bags made from recycled tire tubes, and ornaments made, in part, from recycled orange peels. I love innovation and creativity, and these products showcase that. And, again, they provide quality employment for women around the world.

5. Catalogs. When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait for the humongous department store catalog to show up at my grandparents’ house. Then my brother and I would flip through it and circle what we wanted for Christmas. That’s a bygone practice for department stores, but there are a ton of organizations that offer giving catalogs this time of year. In them you’ll find opportunities to give money toward gifts like goats and chickens, milk, mosquito nets, clean water and other life-saving necessities we take for granted but are absent in the poorest countries of the world. Check out organizations like Heifer International, Compassion, and Samaritan’s Purse for starters.

This is not in any way an exhaustive list of how you can give and shop with meaning this holiday season. But if you’re looking for a place to start, these are good options. Feel free to add your own ideas and suggestions in the comments.

 

When the thankfulness takes thought

Yesterday I was feeling anything but thankful.

Lonely. Stressed. Overwhelmed. Ungrateful. Bitter.

Yeah, that’s more what my day before Thanksgiving was like. The list-making, the shopping, my daughter home from school giving us an extra six hours of potential fighting with her brother. I wanted to be thankful. But wanting it wasn’t making it happen.

Earlier in the week I’d realized this is our sixth Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania. The sixth year we’ve been absent from our family celebration in Illinois. It was coupled with the realization that Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday. Phil and I love the food and family, the togetherness in playing board games, laughing, sharing stories of years gone by. On Thanksgiving there’s no pressure to bring anything except yourself (and maybe your signature dish). No gifts. No pressure. Don’t get me wrong, I like Christmas. In theory. Maybe those are thoughts for another day.

So, there I was missing my family, not looking forward to the food prep ahead of me, feeling bad for feeling unthankful.

—

My hands were covered in flour, sticky and dough-covered as I formed and shaped the rolls. Our daughter stood next to me, her hands matching mine, doing her best to make round balls of dough that would later become dinner rolls. Our son was crumbling cornbread into a bowl, readying it for the cornbread dressing to be baked the next day.

And I realized something else.

In the six years we’ve been in Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving, I’ve learned a lot of things I might not have learned.

Making homemade rolls, for one. It’s taken me years to decipher the traditional recipe from my husband’s side of the family, and I still don’t get it right all the time. But I can make rolls from scratch using flour and yeast and everything, and they taste like dinner rolls, even if they look like blobs instead of clovers.

For this, I am thankful.

And cooking a turkey. I was terrified the first year, sure I would screw it up. But for five consecutive years I’ve brined and cleaned and oiled and roasted a turkey. (This year, we opted for a pork chop Thanksgiving.) And I learned that I actually like turkey.

For this, I am thankful.

I make pie crusts from scratch. We have our own food traditions now.

For this, I am thankful.

Over these years we’ve celebrated Thanksgiving with select members of our family, with other people’s families, with just the four of us. One year, we celebrated in anticipation of the arrival of the fourth member of our family.

And I’ve learned that sometimes family is geographic, rather than genetic. As much as we love our blood relatives, we’ve found friends who are as much like family here in Pennsylvania.

For this, I am thankful.

And I’ve learned to be thankful even when my husband had to work on Thanksgiving because at least he had a job.

This year, we’re glad to have him home for the day.

As we cooked up kukelas (pronounced like koo-kah-luhs), the German fried and sugared dough of my husband’s family’s heritage, and ate our fill of sugary goodness, the thankfulness hit me again. I’m thankful for this family, this house, this season of life, not because I think we deserve it or even because we have so much, but because we know what it is to not have, to nearly lose what’s most important, to take for granted.

For this, I am thankful. 

Not only for the blessings of God but for His mercy. For the grace of others. For love that covers a multitude of sins.

In everything, give thanks.