Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Archives for November 2014

Refreshing thoughts on outreach: Review of How to Pick Up a Stripper by Todd and Erin Stevens

stripperRequesting a book with a title like this, How to Pick Up a Stripper, is a bit risky. First, your first-grader will try to read the title out loud and you’ll worry that she’ll ask what a “stripper” is and you’ll have to start an uncomfortable conversation. Second, you won’t want to read it in public lest someone get the wrong idea. And third, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find the content is way more practical than the gimmicky title might suggest. (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book from the Booklook Bloggers program in exchange for my review.)

Though Todd Stevens’ wife, Erin, did start a ministry to show kindness to women working in a nearby strip club, the book is less about that particular effort and more about how showing kindness can go a long way in reaching people with the good news of Jesus.

Todd Stevens is the pastor of Nashville’s Friendship Community Church, a group of people who are committed to giving more to their community than they take and showing people God’s love on a daily basis, without strings attached. Their efforts include hosting an Easter Egg hunt for the city, and a separate one a week earlier for parents of special needs children that is just as fun and amazing as the other one; buying lunch for the person behind them in line; catering a meal for the employees of a strip club; and stopping to help stranded motorists. They’ve created a church culture that seeks ways to help people outside of the church walls, for no other reason than to show God’s love. Often those acts of kindness lead people to the church, but it’s not the goal.

It’s such a refreshing approach to outreach, and I found myself, while reading the book, becoming more aware of needs around me. Particularly convicting was Stevens’ commentary on the parable of the Good Samaritan. These words were so convicting, I had to tweet them, mostly so I’d remember it for myself later.

I think that’s my biggest takeaway from this book. That if I’m busy and overcommitted and in a hurry to get from one place to the next, I’ll miss chances to show people kindness in the name of God. And I’m beginning to believe that unless people see more radical acts of kindness from Christians, they won’t listen to any of our words proclaiming good news.

How to Pick Up a Stripper is not a guidebook  with steps to follow about how to start a particular outreach. Instead, it’s a book full of compelling stories about how kindness has changed people’s lives. Add it to your list of must-read books about evangelism. And be ready for questions and strange looks if you take the book out in public.

But maybe that’s the first step in doing something out of the ordinary.

When discipline stops being scary

The kids and I are eating dinner at Chick-fil-a tonight, which is not noteworthy since my husband works there and any employee who has been there for more than a month recognizes us when we walk in the door.

What IS new about this is that it’s the first time I’m ordering off the menu while trying to stick to a new eating plan. (Notice I didn’t say “diet.” That’s a dirty word for me.)

See, about three weeks ago, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. It’s always ridiculously high in the office because I get nervous about doctor’s appointments, but it was so high that my nurse practitioner decided medicine was the best next step. I hate that it’s come to that, but I’m grateful for health coverage and an easy fix. In the meantime, I’m getting to know my new provider really well. I’ve been back several times to check my blood pressure and the medication’s effectiveness, and while it still isn’t where it needs to be, it’s getting better.

That’s a lot of back story for a blog post. Moving on.

While the medicine does its job, I’m trying to do mine by paying better attention to what I’m eating and how much I’m eating and how much exercise I’m getting. You know, the normal stuff I’m supposed to be paying attention to but haven’t been.

And because I’m not a terribly disciplined person, I’ve had to take some actions that lead me toward a more disciplined life. (Just so you know, even typing the word “discipline” makes me uncomfortable. It sounds so structured and binding, and not fun.)

Earlier this year, at the recommendation of my mother, I started using an app called MyFitnessPal to track my calories and activity. Since I’m not a terribly active person right now, either, it helped me set my calories at a level that would help me lose weight.

Then somewhere in the middle of the year, I stopped using it, even after seeing results of 5-7 pounds lost in a couple of months. Nothing drastic, but slow and steady, just the way it should be. I stopped using the app and I stopped caring about what I ate.

By Brian Jimenez | Creative Commons

By Brian Jimenez | Creative Commons

So, when I finally went to the doctor late last month, it was no surprise, really, that my weight was up and my BP was high. Without help, I don’t always take the best care of myself. So, I’m back to using the app, and I’m reading labels, and I’m learning all kinds of things. Like there is a ridiculous amount of sodium in stuff that I normally buy. That calories don’t add up very fast when I’m eating fruits and vegetables. And I can learn to like unsweetened iced tea because drinking all those calories in sweet tea is a bad idea.

And surprisingly, it’s not as scary as I thought it might be. Sure, it’s hard. But there are a couple of things I’m learning that make it easier.

So, whether you’re trying to watch what you eat or be more disciplined about other things in your life, maybe you’ll find this helpful, too.

First, I try not to say “no” completely to anything. I could not eat when we go to Chick-fil-a tonight, but I’d probably be a little sad about it. Yes, it’s just food, but it’s also hard for me to resist a temptation right in front of me. So, if my kids were eating it and wandered away, I’d be likely to steal a waffle fry or ten. So, I wasn’t interested in avoiding eating out at all. The same was true last week when I met a friend at Panera. Normally I’d just get a cinnamon crunch bagel with cream cheese. Instead of defaulting, I ordered a breakfast sandwich with avocado, spinach and egg white. It was delicious.

Related to that, I’m trying to plan ahead, too. So, earlier today I researched the nutrition information for various menu items, and now I can order with confidence without totally blowing my eating plan. Making a plan before I’m in a situation is helpful in a lot of circumstances, not just for eating. This helps me feel like I have some control, not like I’m being denied something by an outside force. That would make me miserable.

Third, I’m trying to set myself up for success. That means buying the good stuff from the grocery store. If I have fruits and vegetables and hummus and lower sodium choices in the house, then I will eat them. If I don’t, I will resort to junk or whatever is convenient.

This is not perfect by any means, nor do I follow it perfectly all the time. I have days where I fail or make decisions that are not the best but I start over the next day and try to do better.

I still don’t like to think of it as discipline, but it’s become necessary for my health, and I’m not hating it.

That’s a win, right?

Is discipline easy or hard for you? How do you stick with a plan?