A new course for 2019

A few weeks ago, I was sure my word for 2019 would be “listen.” But then a friend asked a question directed toward a group of writers about what we wanted for our writing in the new year, and instead of an instant reply, I took some time to think about it.

A word settled in.

Intention.

I want my writing to be less haphazard, more purposeful in the coming year. I want to write what I want to write and be more consistent about writing. I want to finish the projects I start. I want to keep making time for my writing, and I want to be less afraid to keep it to myself. (Especially the fiction.) If I want to achieve certain goals with my writing, I have to make an effort toward those goals. No one is going to hand me my dreams on a silver platter and beg me to take them. I will have to do some work.

The more I thought about this word–intention/intentional–the more it made sense for my year as a whole. With the year that just passed being one where I took more control and made better choices for health and wellness, where I didn’t for the first time feel carried along by whatever current we found ourselves in, looking ahead to 2019 makes me want to keep making conscious choices about our life. 

I want my life to be about the things I want it to be about. I want to remember the power of saying no to things that don’t fit with my goals. And I don’t want to say yes to something just because it seems like a good thing to do.

This word has already been active, before the year even started.

While we were home for Christmas, I was offered (and accepted) the role of chief Christmas cookie baker for our family. For as long as I can remember, my grandmother has been making large batches of cut-out sugar cookies for Christmas and other holidays. These are generally the only sugar cookies I will eat, and most everyone in the family looks forward to them each year. My cousin even gets a batch shaped like Pac-Man for his birthday. (Round cookie with a small triangle cut out and a chocolate chip for the eye. A huge hit with most of us who experienced the 1980s.)

This year, Grandma decided she’s done making the cookies. It is a rigorous process and what used to be a family effort isn’t anymore. I blame myself not living in the same state as my grandmother. Others in the family have tried to make these cookies and they don’t always turn out right. I once said that I would take the reins when it was time because I have had some success with the cookie recipe. My daughter is also on board. Apparently, we have what it takes to take this on. We’ll see.

It’s been a little while since I’ve made these cookies. I have all year to practice. If you live nearby, you might find yourself gifted with practice sugar cookies. You can thank me later.

Christmas cookies for the family is not something I can do on a whim or without preparation or at the last minute. It will require intention–which to me means setting aside time to bake and figuring out how to send dozens of cookies cross country during the holidays. (And do I decorate them before or after I mail them? Hmm…)

I can’t adopt this put-it-off-till-the-last-minute or “I’ll do it someday” attitude with other parts of my life, either. I have to make sure that my intentions don’t just stay as “happy thoughts.” Intention is a word that gets thrown around a lot and doesn’t always have substance behind it, and I don’t want to be just another person with intention and no action. This is not about a buzzword or fad. 

My intentions must be followed by actions. And while my OneWord always surprises me, in this case, I think it would be good to have at least an outline of a plan.

So, here are some of my “intentional” resolutions, if you will:

1. Better and more frequent communication with family and friends. I rely on Facebook too much for disseminating the details of my life. The thing is, lots of people don’t see Facebook posts or even use it that much anymore. (According to my students, Facebook is for old people, so now you know.) And I’m desperate for depth when it comes to catching up with the important people in my life. Already, I’ve had a video phone call with my oldest friend that was so life-giving and much too short that we’ve made plans to talk again next month. She and I did not talk via the phone at all last year, and when her Christmas letter came, I realized how much I missed her. Living 800 miles from family makes keeping in touch a challenge, especially with school/work/sleep schedules, but technology makes keeping in touch not impossible.
2. Immediate action. Related to the previous goal, I don’t want my intentions to be just intentions. Too often I have good intentions that never translate into action because I put off whatever it is I think is a good idea. Sometimes, it’s good to take immediate action when I think of someone I want to talk to or something I want to do for someone else. Even before the new year ticked over to 2019, I did this with a college friend. Instead of saying “we should get together when I’m home,” I offered up our availability and we made it work. I too easily talk myself out of making plans because they require work. (This literally required an hour-long drive and restaurant research. Sooooo hard. Not.) I’m trying to do better at responding sooner than later or reaching out when the first thought of a person comes to mind. No more “I’ll get to that later.”
3. Get-togethers in our house. Phil and I love getting people together and we have used our house as an excuse not to. We took some steps toward that this year but want to expand on it this year. We don’t have to wait for a special occasion to have people over, or a holiday. We’re already thinking about events, though, like the Super Bowl. And making sure we follow up with people who say things like “We should get together soon.” Our most recent date night resulted from such a follow-up.
4. Vacation. Yes, it’s only January, but summer is our prime time for family togetherness, so we’re already talking about what our vacation for this year might be, and it will require planning. (My husband has already ordered some vacation planning materials from the places we are thinking about visiting.) I think planning and intention go hand-in-hand and while I’m good at planning certain things, there are other areas of life where I’m still go-with-the-flow. This latter attitude sometimes means I miss out on things I want to do. I don’t want to wait for a better time or day or year or season of life.
5. This year I want to keep working on my after-40 goals and that will require intention. I’m no longer in a place where time or money or kids is an excuse. (I mean, there are still limitations on all of those things, but they aren’t impossible obstacles.) One thing I’ve already done this month is set aside time each week to start learning sign language with my daughter so we can communicate with my niece/her cousin. It’s too important for us to just think “we’ll get to that later.” We started already, and we have a long way to go.

I could probably keep adding to this list, but I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed. Energized, too, but definitely overwhelmed. Intention requires attention and effort and it’s a good thing I got a lot of practice at being awake to my life last year so I could walk into this year with a renewed sense of purpose.

And just to be clear: this isn’t about living life at full throttle, never slowing down to take it all in or rest. Slowing down, resting, breathing deeply, silence, listening–these are all things that also require intention. I need to build them into my life.

So this is where I start. With my eyes, heart and mind turned to intention and all the ways that it has the potential to show up in my life this year.

Have you picked a word yet? (Maybe one picked you!) I’d love to hear about it.