Surprised by New York (part 1)

Last weekend (the third one in October), our family took an overnight/day trip to New York City. I ended up with so many thoughts and stories about our time that I broke it up into three parts so if you read this, you won’t feel overwhelmed by it all. If you want to read it all in one shot, come back in three days.

For now: the backstory.

It started months ago, when a comedy trio from Ireland that my husband follows online announced a U.S. tour with stops in Philadelphia and New York City. He had some money left from Christmas to spend, so he bought two tickets. For the show in Times Square.

When he told me this, I began to panic. Philadelphia is right there and Times Square is over there. How in the world were we going to see a show in Times Square on a Saturday night in October? I listed all the reasons it wasn’t going to work, and I freaked out numerous times trying to think through a plan for the kids. How much did hotels cost in New York? Would we hire a babysitter to stay overnight at our house? Try to find someone to keep our kids for a night at their house? Did I even want to do this?

Technically, it would be a date night but the logistics were overwhelming. Date nights take work no matter where they happen for us, and this one seemed especially hard to plan.

So I ignored it for months.

I waited until my surgery was on the calendar before even attempting to start thinking about how we could do this. I wanted to be sure that I wouldn’t be recovering from surgery when our trip was planned.

I should mention that our family has never been to New York City. Not to explore. I mean, we’ve been to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island (technically New Jersey?) when the kids were too young to remember. (FYI: I just re-read that post from 9 years ago and cringed. Grace for the people we used to be.)

We’ve picked up family at LaGuardia. And Phil and I went to a Mets-Cubs game one time. I don’t really count those as visiting New York, though. Having lived in Pennsylvania 11 years, not visiting New York City feels like a crime.

One night, as Phil and I were tossing around ideas about New York, he said something like, “It’s too bad we couldn’t take the kids and have a family day on Sunday in New York.” Take the kids! I latched onto that idea almost immediately. It seemed like the perfect solution to my worries. Surely we knew someone who could hang out with our kids for a couple of hours in New York while we were at the show. My husband was surprised that I was pursuing this idea. He hadn’t necessarily meant it seriously.

I, however, was certain it was possible.

So, I went to my online network and asked: 1. Am I crazy to think that this is possible? and 2. Did anyone know anyone who could help? Almost immediately, a name was recommended by several people and this friend was enthusiastic and willing to meet us in the city and hang out with my kids, even though none of us had met in person. (I’m going to pause here because yes, this sounds weird. Bu this friend and I are connected through a group of women who have been sharing, supporting and encouraging each other online for something like four years. I would trust any of these ladies with my kids and my life, so this was not at all weird to me.)

I breathed a sigh of relief. We had the beginnings of a plan! With the first piece of the puzzle in place, more plans came together. We booked a hotel. We made a list of things we wanted to see. (It was too long.) Our friend helped us plan our sightseeing day, even figuring out what trains we might need to ride from one place to the next.

In the midst of this planning, my husband and I had an argument. Maybe it was more of a disagreement, and I’ll admit that it was primarily my anxiety and stress that caused it. I wanted to put a whole bunch of activities on our to-see list. He wanted us to walk around and take in the city. At the root of the disagreement was this feeling that maybe I wouldn’t like New York. I know tons of people who LOVE it, and I worried that I wouldn’t “get it.” I’m used to trips where we do things, like visit museums or historical sites or national parks. None of that was on our plan. (Actually, some of that was but we quickly realized we couldn’t accomplish all of it in one week, much less one day.)

As we took a realistic look at our time in the city, we whittled the list down to just a couple of sights to see, and as our trip approached, my excitement grew. Some of the stress transferred to Phil as he planned our food stops because the other thing we like to do when we visit a new place is eat local.

In my mind, it was all coming together beautifully.

A few days before our trip, the friend who was going to meet us messaged me and said she hadn’t been feeling well. She wanted to let me know that it was possible she couldn’t meet us but that she was going to work to find us a backup among her friends. I still trusted that this was going to work out but my anxiety was increasing. The night before our trip, she was still not feeling well and still looking for a backup. I didn’t sleep much that night as I tried to work a solution. I had one more option, and as soon as I woke and it was a reasonable hour, I set to work finding a backup companion for our kids when I should have been packing and doing laundry.

Early in our planning, when I was trying to figure out what our kids would do in Times Square while we were at the show, I messaged my brother who travels a lot and has good recommendations for things to do/see/eat. Also, his wife’s family lives in New York City. During these discussions, his wife’s parents made an offer to help show us around New York while we were there. We weren’t sure we were ready to take it at that time, but when the Saturday morning of our trip arrived and we had a snag in our childcare plan, I knew exactly who to contact. My brother put me in touch with his mother-in-law and what ensued was a flurry of text messages over the next several hours.

I did not ask her directly to watch my kids on short notice. I only wondered if they would know of anyone who could.

So my first surprise of New York was an enthusiastic offer to hang out with my kids for a couple of hours from a woman I have only met once at a wedding celebration years ago but who loves my brother and considers us all family.

It was a relief in so many ways. We made a plan to meet later that night, and I set out to finish the packing and try to get the house in some sort of order.

Her generous offer would not be the only surprise New York had to offer.

To be continued …