Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Lisa

What these miles are for

Halfway.

We’re almost halfway through our 100-mile challenge. It’s been four weeks since my husband and I pledged to walk 100 miles in two months to raise money and awareness for a local refugee resettlement organization. (You can still donate toward our efforts by clicking here.)

one team.one goal.3000 miles for refugees.

Refugee resettlement. That’s the official-sounding phrase, but it means almost nothing compared to the reality.

For the past few months, I’ve been spending Tuesdays with refugees as they learn how to live in their new communities. I can’t tell you everything I’ve seen/heard/witnessed because it’s too much and I don’t have permission to share specific stories.

But I can tell you some things.

These are the reasons I’m walking:

  • For the barely adult children who are suddenly head of household because they speak the most English. I have met 25-year-olds who are managing large households, budgeting the food money, and working every available hour so that their family can make a new life here after living decades in a refugee camp.
  • For the mothers who want nothing more than to learn English, go to school and have a career.
  • For the look I see in a refugee’s eyes when I ask how long it’s been since he’s seen “home.” (Sometimes it’s been 10 years or more.)
  • For the young father who is working, translating appointments for his mother and sisters, running errands after work (on foot or by bus) and trying to raise a family.
  • For the smiles when an English word or concept makes sense.
  • For the relief when a family learns that their money is safe from corruption, that they can be taken care of for a time.
  • I walk for the lucky ones, the 1 percent of refugees who actually get resettled to another country, the ones who make it through the layers of security and health screenings, who are brave enough to get on an airplane and set foot in another country.

And I walk for the ones who are still waiting. For the kids who don’t have access to vaccines or medicines or education or hygiene. For the families who left one hellish environment only to find themselves in another one. For the ones who stayed in the war zones.

I walk these miles to make the only difference I know how: one step at a time.

I know this issue can be confusing and controversial. I urge you to seek out reputable sources about the refugee crisis, from organizations with first-hand experience and knowledge working with refugees. You can start with Church World Service, the organization I’m volunteering with. Or search for one in your area. If you have Netflix, I highly recommend the documentary “Salam Neighbor,” especially if you don’t have the opportunity to meet any refugees in the flesh.

And stay tuned! We’ve got four weeks left to log 100 total miles.

When religion is an addiction: Review of Spiritual Sobriety by Elizabeth Esther

There’s a part of me that is reluctant to share anything about this book because the idea of it makes me uncomfortable at the same time it sets me free. Does that even make sense?

9780307731890Admitting that religion is an addiction seems sacrilegious. Can you get too much of a good thing?

The answer is yes and Elizabeth Esther gently guides us through the process of rediscovering a vibrant faith that has been stifled by religion. Spiritual Sobriety: Stumbling Back to Faith When Good Religion Goes Bad is the book I wish I’d read years ago when my whole belief system was falling apart. My “good” behavior didn’t produce the results I wanted from life, and I’ve been wrestling with God ever since.

This book gives us permission to step back from unhealthy systems and practices and relearn healthy spirituality.

While the author is writing from the perspective of someone who grew up in a religious cult, the principles she writes about are applicable in less restrictive religious environments. She explains it this way:

The issue is this: an obsession with spiritual beliefs, rituals, and pursuits that initially helps us but eventually removes our power to make healthy decision and brings significant harm to us and to those close to us. (9)

Elizabeth walks us through a sort of undoing, focusing on reality, moderation and letting go of the need to control others’ behaviors. She also addresses relapse, which is crucial to accept as part of the recovery process with any addiction. That might have been my favorite chapter because it allows for imperfection and acknowledges that transformation is a slow, steady process, not an instant change.

It took me months to read this book but not because the writing was hard to understand. Truthfully, the author got to the heart of so many things I’m dealing with that at times it was overwhelming and I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. It’s a book to take slowly and with great care. I’d advise working through it in partnership with someone else who understands addictive behavior or who is in recovery.

This book isn’t for everyone and it might even make you mad. But if striving for holiness and working harder at religious practices is only making you feel more defeated, this is a recommended read.

I’m going to suggest that we do something really radical, uncomfortable, and borderline blasphemous: we stop trying to be good. (151)

How you react to that sentence is a good indicator of whether or not you should read this book.