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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

21 Days of Separation

How do I spell relief? H-U-S-B-A-N-D

May 14, 2010

Day 20. Maybe that title dates me. If you remember the old Rolaids commercial, you’re probably getting old, too.

Both kids were especially needy today, and even though we had a lot of time with family, there still didn’t seem to be enough of me to go around. I kept thinking of something my husband said just after Corban was born and we were learning how to parent two children. He said he appreciated the fact that having two kids meant we had to work together more for their care.

We’re like a tag team, sometimes. Especially at bed time. If I’ve had Corban all day, he’ll take him while I get Isabelle ready for bed. Or, if Corban’s particularly needy and I’m feeding him, Phil will take the Isabelle bed time routine. It works the same with diaper duty, meals and the occasional potty training. I’m so blessed to have a husband who helps.

Right now, though, I feel like I’m in the ring, trying to fend off two wrestlers by myself because my partner is MIA.

No matter how tired either of us is, there’s always a small sense of relief when we can split up the kid duties.

I hope he’s ready to tag in.

Filed Under: 21 Days of Separation, Marriage, Uncategorized Tagged With: husbands and wives, relief, Rolaids, separation, tag team, working together, wrestling

Stretched

May 13, 2010

Day 19. These last few days seem the hardest. Even though the kids and I have kept busy with outings and visits, with still more planned between now and Sunday, I’m just plain old worn out. If this were a marathon (and by the way, I am not, nor do I ever see myself being, a runner), I’d be nearing the finish line, wondering if I could make it to the end. Sometimes I think I don’t have the mental toughness for such endurance.

When my husband (then my fiance) was in Iraq, I thought of our relationship in terms of a huge rubber band. Each of us was standing on one side of it, and the farther apart we were geographically, the more our relationship was stretched. Sometimes it seemed like it was so tight it was going to snap. But we held on and eventually, we came back together, stretched but tighter somehow.

I’m feeling stretched again. I’m glad I don’t have to go on this way indefinitely. I’m desperately hanging on for Sunday, hoping I won’t be too exhausted to enjoy being together.

Hoping, too, that once again, our relationship will be stronger because we were stretched.

Filed Under: 21 Days of Separation, Marriage, Uncategorized Tagged With: husbands and wives, Iraq, marathon, relationships, rubber bands, separation

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Hi. I’m Lisa, and I’m glad you’re here. If we were meeting in real life, I’d offer you something to eat or drink while we sat on the porch letting the conversation wander as it does. That’s a little bit what this space is like. We talk about books and family and travel and food and running, whatever I might encounter in world. I’m looking for the beauty in the midst of it all, even the tough stuff. (You’ll find a lot of that here, too.) Thanks for stopping by. Stay as long as you like.

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