Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

arts and crafts

Why it's been a little quiet around here

Twice in the last two days, I’ve been the recipient of quiet time. As I write, my husband has whisked the children away to the barbershop (for him) so I can have some quiet in the house time before the dinner/homework/bath/bed routine sucks the life out of me. This quiet solitude is usually a luxury, though I had a few blessed hours to myself yesterday as well, also unexpected. (And I wrote almost 1,500 words on my novel and maybe, just maybe, can see the faintest glimpse of the end!)

Quiet is something I crave but not often something I get.

And the last few weeks have been more full than normal. Which is why I’ve been a little more quiet on the blog than I intended.

But I realized that I left you with this look at my sometimes messy world with no follow-up, and I didn’t want to cause any alarm. Later that week, I came down with a sinus/head cold thing that put me behind in preparing for house guests and a six-year-old’s birthday party. Understandably, the blog slipped off the “to do” list.

I never stopped blogging in my head, though. I probably “wrote” a dozen posts while going through my daily life duties, and none of those will see the light of day. Maybe, though, I have a few spare thoughts to share. I realize it’s okay to disappear for a while, but writing (and blogging) are life-giving to me, and I’ve missed the chance to regularly share what’s in my head.

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So, the girl turned 6, and the celebration lasted a week, and I can still remember her entrance into the world and the countless ways she changed us forever. To see her now, at 6, in all her emotions and feelings and zest for life, I’m reminded how quickly the days and years pass and how much of what we see in her now is what we will see in her years from now. Oh, how I dream about the ways God will use her unique (and utterly foreign to me) personality.

And speaking of personalities, I took a personality test for the first official time. It’s part of a leadership development small group at our church, and though I suspected certain things about the way I operate in the world, the test and its results were eye-opening. Shocking, really. Not because they didn’t make sense but because they did. Knowing my natural inclinations when it comes to living in the world helps me not to feel bad that I’m not like other people and makes me aware of areas where I can stretch myself a little more. (Oh, and if you’re into that sort of thing, I’m an INFJ.)

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It snowed today. And I’m ready for spring. This is our first spring in this house, so it’s been a fun game to see where the flowers are going to come up. The kids skip around the house and yell excitedly when they spot a new bud or bloom. I’ve never been terribly “green” when it comes to plants and gardening, but I want my kids to love the outdoors and nature and to know how to take care of it. So, this year, we’re going to start small and try a few things.

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A bunch of balloons landed in our driveway today. And when I say a bunch, think grapes on a vine. The purple-blue-green bundle blew into our yard and settled next to our neighbor’s porch. I looked out the window and exclaimed to our son, “Corban, what is that?” My husband rescued the balloons and brought them inside. (I really hope they weren’t on their way to a birthday party. We live on a busy street and would have no idea how to track down the owner.) Sometimes joy is like this. An unexpected burst of color and fun in the midst of your ordinary day. I want to be this for people and look for this in my day.

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For every birthday my kids have had so far, I’ve made them a cake according to the theme they request. Some years have turned out better than others. This year, she wanted an Ariel cake. I’ve already done the doll with a bowl cake skirt so I wanted to do something different. I wandered the craft stores looking for inspiration (after spending significant time on Pinterest) and this was the result.

Izzy cake 6th

I frequently tell people I’m not crafty because I have not a lot of patience for kids’ rainbow looms and Pinteresty things that look fun but would probably drive me crazy. But wandering through an arts and crafts store revived my creativity. I could almost feel the possibilities in there. Everything in there has the potential to become something beautiful, and no two people would create the exact same thing, even if they had identical supplies.

When I’m feeling stuck in my writing or maybe even just a little hopeless about life, I think I’ll wander the arts and crafts aisles, even if I don’t intend to buy anything.

So, what have you been up to?

When the picture isn't complete (and that's okay)

I started cross-stitching again. It’s this hobby I sort of start and stop and then start again. This time, it was part of my plan to enjoy life more. Because January brought with it the return of two of our favorite TV shows–Downton Abbey and Sherlock–in addition to all the Doctor Who we’ve been watching on Netflix. So, cross-stitching is my justification for spending hours watching TV at the end of a day. At least I’ll have something to show for it, besides having enjoyed a good visual story. I picked up this pattern I’d started years ago because I like to finish what I start, and it’s big enough that it will occupy me for months, probably, and I’ll be saved from having to make a decision about what to stitch  next.

cross stitch finished picThat’s what it will look like finished, Lord willing, someday.

In the meantime, this is where I’m at.

cross stitch frontI can catch glimpses of the final picture, but for the most part, I’m stitching green, green and more green. I finally switched to brown because I needed some variety.

Such is life.

Maybe you’ve been there. Everything feels the same, looks the same and you wonder if you’re getting anywhere with anything. Will your life ever look like you’ve envisioned?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But I believe all those green threads and brown ones, the drab and colorful, will all come together to make something beautiful.

It might just take time.

I’m not particularly good at cross-stitch. Inevitably I end up counting wrong and have to tear out some threads and start again or improvise so it still looks somewhat the same as the pattern.

cross stitch back knots

More often, I find myself in knots. A long thread will wrap around itself in the back and suddenly I’m unable to pull it through and continue.

The back of my cross-stitch creations are full of knots.

Such is life.

My past, my present, they’re full of knots too. Times when I’ve been careless or hurried or thoughtless or selfish. Some of the knots I don’t have a reason for. But they all keep me from moving ahead.

Sometimes I try to untangle them to save as much thread as possible. Other times, I have to cut them and start over.

Such is life.

But in the end, it’s not the knots and the stray threads and the mess-ups that matter.

It’s where I’m headed.

cross stitch plan picture

And how I’m getting there.

I can see how this cross-stitch picture will end. But I have a lot of work to do to get there. And it won’t finish itself.

In a way, such is life.

I believe God is making all things new. That the Creator, who created, has not finished creating, restoring and renewing. He hasn’t given up on this world or His people.

I can’t see what it will look, but I catch glimpses every now and then.

I see enough to believe that we–earth, humanity– are headed somewhere. But we have a lot of work to do. And God could finish it Himself. But what if He asked us to be part of it?

What if we’re creating, restoring, renewing the world in partnership with Him?

What if each of us all has one color of thread and we need to work together to complete the picture?

And what if we tie ourselves in knots trying to get it right?

Will we give up? Or will we untangle the webs, cut the strings and start over when necessary?

Will we keep moving forward until the picture is finished?

I don’t know about you but I’m overwhelmed by long-term projects. I like quick and easy.

But ours is not a quick and easy calling, is it?

What’s more, we might not see the picture completed. At least, not in our days on earth.

I think of the faithful ones listed in Hebrews 11, the heroes whose stories we teach in Sunday School. Yet this is said of them:

All these people were still living by faith when they died.

I said it before: I like to finish what I start. Although my track record with that dwindles daily.

So it’s hard to imagine that anything I’ve started or been a part of in my lifetime might not come to completion or be finished in my lifetime.

Just a chapter later in Hebrews, Jesus is called the “author and finisher” of our faith (King James version).

So, maybe it’s not my job to finish, but just to do my part.

I will finish the cross-stitch picture. I hope to complete my novel this year.

My faith, this journey, may never be finished.

And I think I can be okay with that.