Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

faith & spirituality

Why I need to belong

One of my favorite TV shows returned last week, and though I was a little disappointed by the episode (sorry, I’m not familiar with The Hunger Games, so maybe it’s my fault), I’m glad it’s back. And a couple of nights ago, I dreamt about the cast from another of my favorite shows.

Either I’m watching too much TV (true) or I’m sorely lacking in friends (also true).

Now, before you throw me a pity party or get mad (Hey! What about me? I’m your friend.), let me clarify.

Recently, I identified a need, one that hasn’t been filled in a while. (Even saying that sounds selfish, but everyone has needs and filling those needs makes us more complete as people.)

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Photo by Stephanie Hofschlaeger/SXC.HU

I need community. A place to belong.

Having transplanted from Illinois to PA Dutch (German) country, belonging might be wishful thinking. It’s not that people here aren’t nice or friendly; it’s just that most of them have lived here a long time and have family nearby.

And life is busy. I get that. Most of the time I forget the hole created in my life because I don’t have community.

But then we’ll stop at our friends’ house in western Pennsylvania and we’ll share Chinese food while our kids run off together to play and sleep in each other’s rooms. We’ll watch The Golden Globes and make fun of celebrities. And in the morning, over coffee and donuts, we’ll find it hard to pull ourselves away.

“Can’t you just stay?” our hosts always ask us.

And my heart screams “Yes!” every time.

One of my deep longings is to be surrounded by people doing this life journey together. I want to share meals. And childcare. And burdens over cups of coffee. I want to meet regularly with a group of people–women, especially–who don’t have it all figured out and just need space to vent and cry. I want to pray together. Laugh together. Cry together.

To me, this is a picture of how the church is supposed to function. Every day, not just on Sundays.

I have found community online with like-minded readers and creators, but it’s not the same as having flesh-and-blood people in your life. (I have those. And I love every one of them, but even 30 minutes or an hour seems too far away sometimes.)

In my frustration and sadness at not having community, I’ve closed my own doors. I’ve self-focused on our home. Our kids. Our crazy life. Frankly, I’m often embarrassed by the mess that is our house, the little that we have to share (which is still a lot by comparison), the uncertainty that is our life.

But this week I realized that I can’t wait for community to find me. I can’t sit around waiting for people to knock on my door and ask to journey with me through life. (About the only people knocking on our door these days are Jehovah’s Witnesses. They come to speak with my husband. In his absence, I fear they’re going to start in on me.)

No. Community starts with me.

With an invitation to share a meal.

Or a commitment to pray for a situation as it’s presented.

Or a Valentine treat for a neighbor.

Or a question about how someone else is doing with this whole life thing.

For community to happen, I have to lose interest in myself and my problems (at least for a few minutes) and seek out others.

This show that I love that returned this week, it’s called Community. It takes place at a community college and revolves around a study group that first got together for mostly selfish reasons. A shared class brought them together regularly, whatever the motivation. And over time, these regular meetings morphed into friendship. Yeah, they’ve had ups and downs. But they’ve stuck together. And, as one of the characters pointed out this week, they’re going to change and face changes together but they’re still going to be friends.

I believe community is a God-given longing. Jesus could have walked the earth by Himself, healing people and doing miracles, but He picked a core group of people to walk with Him. Probably more for their sake than for His, but then again, Jesus knew community from the time time began. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are three-in-one, a holy community.

I don’t know what community is going to look like for me or my family. I just know that I have to be the one to open the door and invite others in.

And it won’t be perfect.

It might even be messy.

But I’m okay with that.

When light shines in the darkness: Review of Congo Dawn by Jeanette Windle

Former Marine Robin Duncan has been working private security contracts in some of the world’s most impoverished and corrupt countries. When she takes a job as translator for a multinational company with mining interests in the Democratic Republic of Congo, she’ll come face-to-face with the ugly side of power, greed and personal interest. But her belief that God, if He is good and won’t stop suffering, exists in such a world will also come front and center.

congo dawn cover USEJeanette Windle’s newest novel, Congo Dawn, is action-packed and full of hard questions and truths. About God and suffering. Power and humility. Violence and peace. Wealth and poverty. Exploitation and redemption. In her typical fashion, Windle has taken true-to-life scenarios and woven a tale that sheds light on darkness in a corner of the world few of us know much about.

In Robin, Windle has created a complex character. She is hardened by life and loss but motivated by love for her niece with expensive health problems. She takes this job to provide for a necessary surgery that her single-mom sister can’t afford. When she begins to suspect that her employer hasn’t been honest with the team and that their mission is less than honorable, she struggles to justify her continued involvement because of her niece’s need.

Add to the mix, an ex-boyfriend, Michael, who is a medical missionary serving in the DRC. They bump into each other as Robin’s team is trying to cross into the country and later cross paths numerous times as the team sets up camp near the medical clinic. Michael and Robin’s history includes a tour in Afghanistan where Robin’s brother died. They haven’t spoken or seen each other in five years. In addition to sorting through their shared baggage, the two become involved in uncovering Robin’s employer’s true motive for the mission she’s on.

The story is compelling and inspiring. Robin wrestles with questions common to mankind. Why so much suffering? Why injustice? How long will you let this go on, God? Are you even out there? How can good possibly win the battle over evil?

The faith of the Congolese people and those serving with them challenges Robin’s relationship with God. And the overriding theme of the novel is one embraced by humanitarian organizations around the world: “The smallest flame shines brightest against the darkest night.”

Congo Dawn is a book I can’t put down, walk away from and forget. Though a work of fiction, it is based in truth. Wealthy countries exploit impoverished ones. A country rich in natural resources is kept from benefitting from them because of corruption and greed. People–God’s people–suffer daily while I live in comfort. And while I am  not called to run off to serve in another country, I want to do something.

The author–who is also a friend–has some suggestions for what to take away from a novel like Congo Dawn.

“I  would like readers to close Congo Dawn as well as my other titles with a better  understanding of the very complex countries and issues they represent outside  safe American borders. Even more  so, how vital and interconnected events in the international arena, especially  such issues as freedom of worship, speech, human rights, are to our own nations’  future and security. Above all, I want every reader to understand what is the  only true source of hope and freedom for any society. Bottom line, when enough  individual hearts change from hate to love, cruelty to kindness, greed to  selflessness, their society will be transformed as well. Change a heart, change  a nation. And how does one change hearts? Hopefully, by the last page of Congo Dawn, the reader will have an answer to that as well!”

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In exchange for my review, I received a free copy of Congo Dawn from Tyndale House Publishers through the Tyndale Blog Network.