Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

faith & spirituality

Dream on

I’ve been thinking about dreams a lot lately. Not the whoa-what-was-that-all-about kind of dreams you have in the night and try to explain to your husband over breakfast. (Not that this ever happens to me …). No, the other kind. The awake kind. The kind that keep you afloat when you feel you might be drowning. Those far-off, seemingly unattainable hopes and goals for your life.

© Alexandru Mitrea | Dreamstime.com

We need dreams. I need dreams. In the past few months, I’ve found myself mired in hopelessness, wondering if life will always be this struggling just to get by, relying on others for help, worrying if we’re doing the best thing for us and our kids. In some ways, the answer to those questions is “yes.” But in other ways, it’s “no.” It doesn’t have to always be like this. To remind myself to keep dreaming, in the positive sense, I started a notebook just to record my dreams. Things like places I want to visit or travel to, features I’d like to have in a home, stuff I’d like to do before I die (the bucket list, you know). I wanted a reminder that I have dreams. And I should keep having dreams. And I need to keep dreaming because those dreams aren’t necessarily out of reach.

And I’ve been hearing stories of people, women mostly, who have dreams that scare the pants off of them. And I keep hearing this in my head:

Dream big.

I’ve heard that if your dreams don’t scare you a little, they aren’t big enough.

And that’s what I want to do: Dream big.

The company I’m applying to work for has this as their vision: to invest in the dreams of the poor. They offer small loans to people in poverty to start a business to help earn an income for their families.

Investing in dreams. I thought about the people who have invested in my dreams. My parents, in sending me to college and taking out loans and helping repay those loans. A generous couple who sent me to my first writers conference where I hadn’t a clue what I was doing there but the experience of being there sparked something in me that I’ve been fanning into flame ever since. My grandparents, who have given time and money and support, in everything. The list could go on and on with family members, teachers, professors, mentors, co-workers, friends and virtual strangers.

That made me wonder if I’ve invested in anyone’s dreams and how I can do that.

And I wondered how many dreams I’ve carelessly crushed. A line from The Waiting’s “Mercy Seat” haunts me: For there you cover every lie I spoke, and every promise that I broke and every dreamer that I woke.

Father, forgive me, for any dreamers I’ve tried to wake.

And then this, from the Psalms:

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dreamed.

Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.

Sometimes it’s good to remember what it is to dream. To smile at the prospect. To tremble in fear and excitement. To stretch beyond what we’re capable of and find that God is there to help us. To try something new. To fail. And to try again.

Not all of our dreams will come true, but that doesn’t mean we stop dreaming.

Whatever your dreams, dream on.

And on and on.

The leadership dance

Today’s post is part of a syncroblog on leadership sponsored by Evangelical Seminary. The question up for discussion: What makes a good leader? Click here to join the conversation and see what others are saying.

My husband and I are smack dab in the middle of the toughest leadership assignment we’ve ever had. Not military service. Not deadline editing. Not youth ministry.

Parenting.

With two tiny followers, following us 24/7, our leadership styles become painfully obvious. My husband, at his best, is a patient teacher, guiding our children in the ways of faith and life. At my best, I’m an encourager, cheering on their efforts to learn and grow and be independent.

At our worst? Well, that’s a different story.

I find that in parenting, as in other leadership positions, finding balance is frustrating. Our kids, who are 4 and 2, are past the point of needing us to help them all the time but not yet to the point where they don’t need us at all. When they were babies and solely dependent on us, tiring as it was, I knew what to expect of my leadership. Now, though, sometimes they need me and sometimes they don’t.

So leadership becomes like a dance. And not so much the graceful ballroom type of dancing but more the hokey pokey kind. (Sing it with me: “You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around … that’s what it’s all about!”)

A good leader knows when to put a hand in to help and when to take a step back and let the one being led do the work.

Like when Jesus called Peter to walk on water. He didn’t take Peter’s hand and help him out of the boat. He let him take the first steps. Then, when he was (almost literally) in over his head, he stepped in to keep Peter from drowning. He let the disciples watch him, follow him, learn from him, then he sent them out on their own to minister.

When my 4-year-old is smearing peanut butter all over a slice of bread (and the table and the chair and the floor), it’s so easy to want to take the knife and do it for her. When my 2-year-old wants to grab the milk jug from the fridge (and I hover nervously so he doesn’t drop it), it’s easy to take it from his little hands and do it myself. As leaders, it’s easy to do the hard stuff for the people in our care. We can micromanage, hover and criticize because the task wasn’t done the way we would do it. It’s harder to step back and let people learn.

Good leaders can see when a person’s in trouble and needs help. Good leaders recognize the right time to let someone run with a project and give it their own personality. Good leaders trust. And encourage. They teach and teach again, with patience and compassion. Good leaders step back and hope the ones they’ve led go further than they ever did.

I’ve read that good leaders don’t make followers; they make more leaders.

So, what’s your take? What makes a good leader? And what have you learned from the good leaders in your life?