Full disclosure: I don’t know what I believe about so-called divine appointments. Is God really arranging meetings like some sort of cosmic secretary or matchmaker? Sometimes when I think about divine appointments, I imagine God picking each of us up like chess pieces and moving us from one side of the board to the other.
Please don’t check out just yet.
I’ve heard the phrase used as a motivating tool for evangelizing every stranger with whom a person comes into contact, so forgive me if I twitch just a little when anyone suggests that we be on the lookout for “divine appointments.” (Do I need to explain this phrase? I’m hoping it makes sense as is.)
But I know that some meetings cannot be explained as simply accidents or chance meetings. They just can’t.
I saw this happen numerous times at the writing conference I just attended. In a group of almost 600 people, I continually found people with whom I had common ground. And not just, oh, you write the same kind of thing I write, but life story kind of common ground. I didn’t see everyone I wanted to see in that crowd of 600, but I “happened” to meet a few people I needed to meet. I don’t see it as chance.
I wore this name tag during the entire conference. When I registered, I had the option of including a second line on my name tag and because I didn’t know what to put, I chose the name and theme of my blog. (You can read more about that here, if you haven’t already.) I was hoping people would ask about it and I could tell them, but nobody did.
Until I sat down in a class on Saturday and a woman sat in the same row. She read my name tag and asked about the second line and so I told her.
“So, what kinds of back roads have you seen in life?”
I could have told her so many things, but I focused on our seminary story. How we had one plan for our lives when my husband entered seminary and how partway through, we felt a shift and how we’re still feeling the shift but have no idea where that shift is taking us. She shared with me that the same happened to her husband, who decided partway through seminary to become a chiropractor instead.
I was shocked. Out of 600 people at a conference, this is the woman who sits next to me in a workshop and we have a same story about seminary? Not a coincidence. At all.
Then I picked a lunch table, which is the absolute worst part of any large group gathering for me. I assume everyone already has a table of people and I’ll be intruding on some kind of popular crowd. (News flash: it seems everyone has this fear and everyone is welcoming when you ask to sit at their table.)
I plopped down at the closest one where a few people were starting to gather and besides sitting with a wildly successful author and her husband (who were sweet and friendly and normal), I was next to a woman whose husband had served in the Marines. They lived on Okinawa for three years. That’s the same island where my grandfather served in World War 2. We’re just a little over a month past his death, and it was a sweet reminder for me, as well as a future contact for what the island is like now. (I’m always thinking of stories and characters and settings. You’ve been warned.) Again, I could have sat anywhere in that ballroom, but I didn’t.
Those were the two most memorable examples from the conference.
Then, yesterday, it happened again.
Earlier in the week, my son had brought home a birthday invitation from school for a gymnastics party for a classmate we hadn’t met yet. I’m not against birthday parties, but we do try to limit ourselves a little bit, especially if we don’t know the family well. (I understand this is not a great philosophy for making new friends, but what can I say? I’m almost a recluse.) My son did not want to go because it’s a gymnastics center and he did not want to “do gymnastics.” I said okay by me and threw the invitation away.
Fast forward to Friday and the kids were off school. I’m behind in my miles for the walking challenge. So, we biked and walked to the park because for the first time in weeks, the temperature outside was bearable. We made it to the playground where another child was playing. I sat down on the bench next to the mom, and we started talking. I asked if they were in the same school district, since we were both out and about on an otherwise normal school day, and we quickly learned that my son and her daughter were in the same class.
It wasn’t long after that I realized this girl was the birthday girl, and her mom asked me about the invitation. We had the most pleasant visit two virtual strangers can have, so I asked my son after we left if he might want to change his mind about the party. He agreed. Which, of course, meant that I had thrown the invitation away and had to ask the mother for all the information again.
A small price to pay for developing friendships.
All of this to say that I still don’t know if God is arranging meetings or messing with people’s schedules so they run into people at certain times. I do know that I don’t believe in coincidence and that it’s important to pay attention to my life and the world around me. I’m slowly–very slowly–leaving my phone in my pocket and my book at home when I enter a social situation. I’m slowly–very slowly–looking around for the people on the outskirts of a crowd because that’s where I usually am, too, and I figure they might need a friend as much as I do.
I read this quote in a book this summer and I loved it so much I made it my pinned Tweet on Twitter so I can see it all the time.
“Afflict me with Attention Surplus Disorder so I can see what is in front of my face.” -Tom Andrews, poet.
I want to be attentive to what’s happening around me. To really see the people and the events as they are happening. To take a chance that maybe this person I’m seeing isn’t a chance meeting at all but someone who needs me, or whom I might need.
What do you think about divine appointments? Are there people we are meant to meet throughout the course of our day? Is it all just chance? What stories do you have of people you’ve met “by chance”?
