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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Friendship

The other one percent

May 5, 2016

I got to hang out with the One Percent this week. I’m so lucky they let me into their circles, that they trust me to be among them. We come from totally different worlds. We speak different languages. And yet we are friends.

Jordan Sanchez via Unsplash

Jordan Sanchez via Unsplash

I ask to sit with them at their table, and they pull out a chair or pat the seat next to them, smiling, offering, “You can sit here.” They welcome me, and I am honored.

These are not the one-percenters you’ve heard so much about from other people. They are not the richest of the richest. They are not the most talked about, the most celebrated, the ones given the most attention.

No, these are a different group. The other one percent.

You’ve heard about the global refugee crisis, and there’s a lot of talk about who we should welcome and where and how many, but here’s a number I forgot about until recently:

Of the millions of people around the world displaced from their homes, resettlement (i.e. becoming a legal resident of a country that is not their home and not the one they fled to) is an option for less than 1 percent.

If you’ve been following along here, you know that I recently started helping out with refugee resettlement in my community. I never thought about how  the people I was meeting, the new friends I was making, are part of that one percent. They are the lucky ones who jumped through all the hoops, passed all the clearances, and were approved for resettlement.

They are a small representation of a larger population.

Walking with the One Percent

We do a lot of walking, me and the one percent, they much more than me. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I drive into the city to meet them. The first time we talked, I told them I lived too far to walk, then immediately shut my mouth, remembering our friend in Kenya who walks 45 minutes each way to work every day. Walking from my house to the city is possible, even if it isn’t convenient, and their feet log many more miles than mine.

Drew Patrick Miller via Unsplash

Drew Patrick Miller via Unsplash

Still, the walking is one of my favorite things I get to do with my new friends. I am navigationally challenged, relying on GPS more than is necessary, and even after three years of living here, I still don’t know my way around the city comfortably. Walking has changed that. After only two weeks of this volunteer gig, I recognize landmarks and where certain places are in relation to other places. I see things I never saw before, and the city that sometimes seems scary when I read news reports becomes much more familiar with my feet on the ground.

The youngest boy grabs my hand though we don’t understand each other–our language is smiles and trucks and building blocks–and we walk that way for blocks, hand-in-hand. I am overcome by his trust. I have walked this way with my own children, years ago, and this boy, he chooses my hand and keeps it.

Sometimes we talk about what we are seeing or hearing. Two police cars and an ambulance zoom past and we cover our ears or I repeat the words my friends are saying to identify those vehicles.

Sometimes we are silent because the language barrier is too much to overcome. I walk ahead and another young man follows behind. It is a responsibility I don’t feel qualified to carry, this guiding him through a city that is not my home, either. But being born into this country’s culture gives me an advantage I don’t always see. Maybe I’ve never been to a language class inside a church I’ve only seen from the outside, but I can fumble my way through a set of directions, even if I have to try every locked door on the outside of the building before I find the one that is open. (I also chose the wrong staircase and we wandered dark hallways until we found the right room.)

When walking in the city, I never feel out of place, even if there are 10 of us clustered together and we don’t quite make it across the street before the light changes. Walking is a way of life in the city. Out where I live in the suburbs, if I walk across the street to Costco I feel like a nuisance to the cars in the parking lot. I feel abnormal. Walking in the suburbs is mostly for exercise, not for errands.

Paying Attention

The silence is awkward sometimes. Even though I like quiet and conversation is not always easy for me, I have difficulty being silent in other people’s presence. I desperately wanted to make small talk as we walked to a church and back, but neither of us spoke the other’s language, so I focused on the path, instead. I didn’t want to get lost on our way there or back. I watched the street signs pass, mentally reviewing where our next turn would be. And I noticed the city’s smells. The brewing company filled the air with hops. And someone somewhere was cooking with fragrant spices.

I was so set on my task that I did not feel my phone vibrate, alerting me that our mission destination had changed.

And when I’ve been with the one percent for several hours, I don’t even think about what I’m missing from my phone notifications or the rest of the world around me. They are my focus during that time, and it is hard to get them out of my minds on the days when I can’t volunteer. Through their eyes I see the everyday as if it’s the first time.

Sean Brown via Unsplash

Sean Brown via Unsplash

I smile at one couple’s enthusiasm to be in the States as they take pictures of themselves in front of city buildings and introduce themselves to the other members of the class.

I see the frustration they feel when they don’t understand because an interpreter wasn’t arranged for that day or the plans fell through. And I’m puzzled for the right answer when they ask questions I’ve never considered, like, “How do I know the electric company has received my payment?” or “How does the doctor know you are sick?”

Have I ever asked those kinds of questions?

I have so much to learn. They have so much to teach me.

Filed Under: Friendship, missions, Refugees Welcome Tagged With: church world service, volunteering, welcoming refugees

After the storm comes

February 26, 2016

The rain blew sideways, thousands of drops pinging the windows as phones beeped alerts warning of conditions right for a tornado.

Stuck in a restaurant, waiting for my husband’s shift to end, we weathered it as best we could. We encouraged the kids to play in the play area. We kept away from the panes of glass that loomed all around us. We ordered coffee and monitored the radar from our phones.

When the threat expired, we braved the drive home, wishing each other safe travels. The roads bore witness to the severity of the storm. Water pooled over entire lanes. A fire truck, sirens blaring, lights flashing, sped past us to one of many incidents.

We made it home safely, but only morning would reveal just how much damage the storm had done.

***

Roads and driveways were strewn with fallen branches. There is a sort of noticeable chaos after a storm. Everything looks a bit different, less ordered, more distressed, as if the earth survived a hard-fought battle and lived to tell about it.

wp-1456493481411.jpg

The river’s banks could not contain it. Homes along its borders woke to find yards swallowed by the river’s gluttony. Roads were closed because the water dared to creep across it in the low-lying areas.

One town woke to devastation, roofs torn off, buildings collapsed, and an official declaration: tornado.

People banded together, an instant rally to rescue chickens, survey damage, clean up.

The storm was long gone by morning, but its memory lingers. Its aftermath remains.

***

This is how it is with storms. They blow in, sometimes with warning, sometimes not. They bring with them fear and worry, a sense of helplessness.

Who can withstand a storm’s full force and come out unscathed?

***

I hardly remember the biggest storm of my life, and I can hardly forget it. I remember how overwhelming it felt to try to navigate life while the storm raged. Even now, as I write about it, the anxiety builds.

It was like gripping the steering wheel tight, guiding my car on a road that should be familiar but instead is cloaked in fog, or a deluge of rain. I could not see beyond the headlights. I didn’t know when, or if, I would get where I was going.

And when the storm cleared, there was damage with which to contend. But a person had to know where to look.

Could they see my eyes swollen from a flood of tears? Could they see our dreams, downed and broken, like limbs from a tree in tornadic winds? Was the chaos obvious, like the morning after a storm? Our life was scattered bits of what it was only days before. The natural order of our existence was off, and only a trained eye could spot the difference.

I tried my best to carry on as usual, but when a storm ravages your existence, there is only so much maintaining you can do. The truth surfaces, like pools of water in the yard because the ground can’t absorb it.

The aftermath became too much for me to bear and what revealed itself was a life littered with hurt, fear, shame, bitterness, and anxiety.

I could not recover alone.

Nor could I pretend the storm had never happened.

I could not wish the storm out of my past, and I would not let it paralyze my present. It would alter the course of my future, but it would not be the end of the story.

***

I have yet to find a geographic location that is safe from any kind of storm. This should tell me something about life, as well. We are never out of danger of a soul-crushing storm. Not one of us will get through life without something that threatens to break us. Even Jesus, the Hope and Light of the world, promised we would have trouble in this life. We are not immune to hardship.

But we can carry on after the storm has passed.

Here, in Lancaster County, there was an immediate response from the community to those in need. The Amish rallied and started work on barns and roofs and schoolhouses. A church called on its people to help a family whose chicken barns were leveled. Family and friends checked in from across the country on Facebook, and those with damaged buildings got right to work on rebuilding.

Maybe this isn’t always the way it is with life’s storms, but I realize that one key component of rebuilding after the storm is community. Neighbors, friends, church people, family. These are the relationships nurtured before the storm comes. This is the support group in place before it is needed.

This is how we weather storms.

By noticing the needs and spreading the word and showing up. With tools. Or a meal. Or a word of encouragement. 

This is how we weather storms.

By looking for the damage. Maybe it’s not a collapsed building but a collapsed spirit. A broken dream. 

Love your neighbor as yourself, Jesus said. And, do to others what you would want others to do for you.

We weather storms together because the next time it could be us. We step in because we would want others to step in and help if it was our time of need.

This is how we weather storms.

Together.

Filed Under: faith & spirituality, Friendship Tagged With: community, love your neighbor, storm damage, tornadoes, weathering life's storms

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Hi. I’m Lisa, and I’m glad you’re here. If we were meeting in real life, I’d offer you something to eat or drink while we sat on the porch letting the conversation wander as it does. That’s a little bit what this space is like. We talk about books and family and travel and food and running, whatever I might encounter in world. I’m looking for the beauty in the midst of it all, even the tough stuff. (You’ll find a lot of that here, too.) Thanks for stopping by. Stay as long as you like.

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