Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

leadership

Swimming in the deep end

Today’s post is part of the second leadership synchroblog by Evangelical Seminary. This week’s topic: How do we define “depth” in leadership? (You can also read my contribution on the topic of “What makes a good leader?”)

I’m not a big fan of swimming. Oh, I can watch Michael Phelps or Missy Franklin or any other Olympic swimmer do their thing in primetime, but to suit up myself and do some laps? No, thanks.

Truth be told, the water sort of scares me. I’m good in the shallow end, where I can touch the bottom, but lead me into deeper waters and I start to envision drowning and dramatic rescues. My lungs start to burn thinking about holding my breath and I get leg cramps and … well, you get the idea. It’s not pretty in my head.

I sometimes feel the same way about depth. Deep people scare me a little. They’re so in tune with who they are and what they’re about. They’re comfortable with their weaknesses and failures and they don’t seem to care what other people think.

Me? I’m over in the kiddie pool of conversation, deflecting questions to other people like a beach ball in a game of keep away. I’m unnaturally curious about other people (it’s the journalist in me) but asking me to go deep is like asking me to jump off the high dive in front of an audience. It’s not going to happen. At least not without help.

And that’s where deep leaders come in.

© Lisa James | Dreamstime.com

If we stick with the swimming analogy, they’re in the deep end already. They’ve faced their fears and forged ahead in spite of them. They’ve been in over their heads, learned how to keep their heads above water without losing focus. They’ve gained strength and stamina from being in a place where few people tread. They’ve made the decision to step away from the easy, shallow waters and make waves in the deeper water.And deep leaders don’t exclude others from the deep end. They not only say, “Come on in, the water’s fine,” they swim back to those in the shallow end and guide the willing into deeper waters, sharing their experiences of going deep. They acknowledge that, yes, the deep end can be scary, but it won’t overwhelm us. Like these words from Scripture:

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.

Some of my deepest moments have come because of others who were willing to share the deep parts of themselves with me first. And they’ve been deep waters I’ve needed to pass through. Without a hand to guide me, I would have been overwhelmed.

Deep leaders have passed through the deep waters of life and are still swimming.

How would you define depth in leadership?

The leadership dance

Today’s post is part of a syncroblog on leadership sponsored by Evangelical Seminary. The question up for discussion: What makes a good leader? Click here to join the conversation and see what others are saying.

My husband and I are smack dab in the middle of the toughest leadership assignment we’ve ever had. Not military service. Not deadline editing. Not youth ministry.

Parenting.

With two tiny followers, following us 24/7, our leadership styles become painfully obvious. My husband, at his best, is a patient teacher, guiding our children in the ways of faith and life. At my best, I’m an encourager, cheering on their efforts to learn and grow and be independent.

At our worst? Well, that’s a different story.

I find that in parenting, as in other leadership positions, finding balance is frustrating. Our kids, who are 4 and 2, are past the point of needing us to help them all the time but not yet to the point where they don’t need us at all. When they were babies and solely dependent on us, tiring as it was, I knew what to expect of my leadership. Now, though, sometimes they need me and sometimes they don’t.

So leadership becomes like a dance. And not so much the graceful ballroom type of dancing but more the hokey pokey kind. (Sing it with me: “You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around … that’s what it’s all about!”)

A good leader knows when to put a hand in to help and when to take a step back and let the one being led do the work.

Like when Jesus called Peter to walk on water. He didn’t take Peter’s hand and help him out of the boat. He let him take the first steps. Then, when he was (almost literally) in over his head, he stepped in to keep Peter from drowning. He let the disciples watch him, follow him, learn from him, then he sent them out on their own to minister.

When my 4-year-old is smearing peanut butter all over a slice of bread (and the table and the chair and the floor), it’s so easy to want to take the knife and do it for her. When my 2-year-old wants to grab the milk jug from the fridge (and I hover nervously so he doesn’t drop it), it’s easy to take it from his little hands and do it myself. As leaders, it’s easy to do the hard stuff for the people in our care. We can micromanage, hover and criticize because the task wasn’t done the way we would do it. It’s harder to step back and let people learn.

Good leaders can see when a person’s in trouble and needs help. Good leaders recognize the right time to let someone run with a project and give it their own personality. Good leaders trust. And encourage. They teach and teach again, with patience and compassion. Good leaders step back and hope the ones they’ve led go further than they ever did.

I’ve read that good leaders don’t make followers; they make more leaders.

So, what’s your take? What makes a good leader? And what have you learned from the good leaders in your life?