Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

One Word 365

The one thing I didn't expect to release

I began 2013 with a withered soul. The soil of my heart was dry and cracked and the weeds of disappointment and bitterness were choking the life out of me.

On the outside, I wasn’t much better.  My words were unkind and pessimistic, evidence of the slow hardening of a heart that had been dealt one too many blows. I was barely holding on.

My husband had graduated seminary six months earlier and was jobless in his field. We were raising two kids under the age of five, 800 miles from family, and we were not even getting by.

This wasn’t the life I’d imagined.

Mad at God. Disappointed with my husband. Embarrassed to be asking family for help.

And that’s where I was when I found OneWord365.

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Today I’m guest posting at the OneWord365 blog. Read the rest of my 2013 OneWord experience here.

The One Word I want to live this year

Yesterday I recapped my first OneWord365 experience, a year of releasing and letting go.

A month or so ago, I started thinking about my next One Word. What did I want to experience, live and be challenged by in 2014?

My soul settled on the word “enjoy.”

That sounds lovely, right? And on the surface, that might seem like not so much of a challenge.

But it is.

See, for several years now, I’ve not really been enjoying my life. I’ve been tolerating and surviving and plodding through to the next thing. Which is why “release” was so important to me this year. I was carrying a bunch of baggage in my heart, soul and mind.

Now that I’m free-er, I find myself in a season of goodness.

I love the house we’re living in. Our lives are full of good friends and supportive community through our church and this new city we’ve moved to. For the first time in years I can say “life is good” and mean it. It’s not perfect, of course, but it’s so incredibly different than the past five years that I almost don’t believe it’s true.

So, for the coming year I want to enjoy. I want to trust in God’s goodness and not worry about the future. I want to live as though we’re going to be here for a long time instead of being constantly on the lookout for our next move, our next house, our next job.

I want to play with my kids and say “yes” more often to the fun things instead of being bogged down in the drudgery of chores and “have-to.” I want to “want to.”

I’m already scaling back the number of books I’m going to review on my blog because I want to enjoy reading and not feel obligated to read. I’m weaning myself from my coffee habit so I can enjoy a cup of coffee for the pleasure of it instead of feeling like I need to have it to survive.

And these are just the beginning stages. If 2013 was any indication, I have no idea what God has planned for my year when it comes to “enjoying.”

I’ll post throughout the year about what I’m learning and experiencing along the way. I’d love for you to follow along and share your stories, too.

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And if you haven’t signed up with the OneWord365 community, there’s still time! Choosing one word for a year is the most effective change I’ve experienced for an entire year. I’d encourage you to give it a try.