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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Uncategorized

What’s inside

March 21, 2010

I’m a colossal failure at hard-boiled eggs. While I’m no gourmet chef, I’m certainly not worthy of being on “Worst Cooks in America,” so admitting I’m so terrible at something seemingly so simple is not easy.

We had a potluck at church today. I hadn’t been to the grocery store all week, so I was trying to pick something to make from ingredients I already had in the house. I came across a deviled egg recipe that sounded good, so I boiled my eggs. Knowing I have trouble with this task, I consulted a cookbook and followed the instructions for boiling eggs to a “T.” After they cooled and I began the peeling process, I discovered the usual soft, runny white underneath the shell surrounding a cooked yoke. As I threw egg white after egg white into the trash, I became frustrated at the realization that deviled eggs was not going to be on the menu at church.

Later, I prepared another dish as my plan B, but the hard-boiled egg failures still irk me. I wish there was a way to tell before I start peeling them whether they’re cooked well or not. It’s an act of faith, in a way, not unlike our own spiritual development.

Do you ever wonder what you look like on the inside to God? Are we soft, runny and underdone, not worth much toward our intended purpose? Are we overdone, hard and tainted, still good for that which we’re meant but not too appealing to look at? Or are we perfectly prepared for what God has in mind? God only knows.

Nobody likes to go through unpleasant circumstances, but like the eggs have to be boiled to be of use when I intend to serve them as deviled eggs, God uses the tough times, the “hot water” of life to prepare us for what’s ahead. If we seek to get out of it too soon, we become useless. If we’re in too long, sometimes we can become bitter.

James says this: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (verses 2-4)

Are you facing trials of many kinds? Know that God sees the growth happening inside and will bring you to maturity because of it.

And if anyone knows how to make a perfect hard-boiled egg, I’m all ears.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The only thing to fear

February 23, 2010

I quit watching horror movies sometime in the last 10-15 years. I’m not sure of the exact reason. I once thought it was because I became a Christian, but I think it had more to do with growing up and realizing that I have enough realistic fears that I don’t need to add fictitious ones to the mix.

Some of the things I fear:
getting pregnant again too soon
discovering a major health issue when I don’t have medical insurance
stifling my daughter’s outgoing personality and wild, creative behavior because I’m tired or impatient or more reserved, myself
obeying God’s call on my life
This last one is the one that has been most on my mind lately. God’s specific call for my life includes writing. I have lots of ideas, some information, and hardly anything actually written, yet I can’t deny that God wants me to write. I can’t NOT write, even if I’m just making a grocery list or jotting a note to a friend. It lifts my spirits, gives me hope and spurs me on. My heart races when I do it, and I feel full when I’ve let my thoughts flow on paper or screen.
And I find myself jealous (usually), critical (sometimes) and challenged (always) when I hear about someone else’s writing success. Mostly I just want the time and motivation to do what I know needs to be done.
So I ask myself how much I want it. Because if I really wanted it, I’d do it.
I think I’m afraid. Not of rejection because I know it will happen; it happens to all writers, even good ones. I think I’m afraid that if I write, I’ll discover that God didn’t call me to that after all, and then I won’t know what my calling is.
Wow. That seems a little silly when I see it written before my eyes. Still …
I read this in Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost for His Highest” today. Speaks to me where I’m at. He says, “tenacity is more than endurance, it is endurance combined with the absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire. Tenacity is more than hanging on, which may be but the weakness of being too afraid to fall off. … Then comes the call to spiritual tenacity, not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately on the certainty that God is not going to be worsted.”
Then I read these words from the psalmist’s pen: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear …” (Psalm 46:1-2a, NIV)
God is my strength, whether in trouble or not. Therefore, I have nothing to fear. “Tenacious” is not a word I would use to describe myself, and I haven’t always thought of it as a good thing, but after today, I think it’s a necessary attribute for the Christian life.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” From the Christian standpoint, the only person we have to fear is God Himself, not because he’s horror-movie scary but because of something else I read today: “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.” (Psalm 24:1)
Everything is His. Everyone is His. If that’s true, then I don’t have to live in fear of any of the above-mentioned circumstances because God is in control. I don’t have to acknowledge that He is for that to be true. I don’t even have to FEEL like He’s in control for it to be true. Because He is in control, all I have to fear is how I live my life in relation to Him — in obedience or disobedience. One brings life; the other death. I can tenaciously pursue obedience to God and trust Him whatever the outcome or I can live disobediently and find myself merely hanging on, afraid to fall.
The first step is always the hardest.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: fear, obedience, tenacity

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