Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

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Better together

We had a rough weekend. As Phil put it this morning, I haven’t felt this tired since Isabelle was a baby. Isabelle battled a fever all weekend, thus her usual sleep patterns were disrupted. She didn’t nap well during the day, and at night she would sleep for 3-4 hours at a time, then wake up hungry and have trouble going back to sleep. Fortunately, when the doctor checked her out this morning, she couldn’t find any sign of ear infection or throat abnormality, so she left us in wait-and-see mode. We didn’t have to wait long. She was fever-free all day.

It’s a relief, in a way, to know that nothing’s wrong, but the emotional toll of the weekend almost makes me wish there was some explanation for the suffering … both hers and ours. Phil started a new night job this weekend, on top of his regular job which is Saturday early evenings and Sunday afternoons, so much of the burden for caring for Isabelle fell to me, day and night. I don’t deal well with anyone in our family being even a little bit sick, so I found myself crying every time he left the house. I was emotionally empty, physically drained and spiritually dry. I haven’t cried that hard in a while.
Sunday night was by far the roughest of the weekend, but that afternoon, I was more hopeful than I had been all weekend because I knew at least that Phil would be there for a day/night block of time without interruption. Even when Isabelle’s crying for “Mommy, mommy, mommy,” I’m encouraged when he’s just in the house because there’s another option for her care.
The whole situation made me think of the verse in Ecclesiastes that is sometimes used in weddings.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NIV)
I take this to mean that God does not intend for us to go through life alone. Married or not, we need other people to help us along in our life’s journey, especially when the tough times come. Otherwise, we end up burnt out — spiritually, physically, and emotionally. We don’t always need someone who can fix our problems or pull us out of the tough times. Sometimes all we need is a shoulder to cry on, a warm embrace, a kind word, or a listening ear.
And while we’re strong together, we’re strongest when God is in the relationship, be it a marriage, a friendship or a family.
It’s not always easy to admit we need other people, but it’s clear from God’s Word that Christians, especially, are meant to function as one unit, a body. Toes wouldn’t last very long by themselves, nor would ears or noses. The parts of our bodies are designed to work together for the good of the body; so, too, should we, the body of Christ work together for the good of the whole.
We don’t have to go through life, the good or the bad, alone. We’re not meant to. Who do you need in your life today?

More like Jesus

Do you ever feel like a mule? Man, was I dragging my heels, and kicking and screaming on the inside today when my husband and I got into a discussion about a phone call that needed to be made. The conversation went something like this.

Me: Well, if that’s what needs to happen, you’re going to have to do it.
Him: Oh. But it was your idea.
Me: But you’re related to her.
Him: But you’re a woman.
Me: So?
Him, a few minutes later: I’d really like to know ahead of time if you’re going to not follow through on something so I don’t sit around and wait for it to happen.
Me: (hurt, speechless and pouting on the couch)
I stewed about it some more and decided he was right. It was only a phone call, after all. And it was painless. But it was another reminder of what’s expected of me as a wife. Actually, as a Christian in general but the husband-wife relationship seems to be the hardest place to accomplish it.
Earlier this week I was reading the account of Jesus washing his disciples feet found in John 13, and I was reminded of the importance He placed on servanthood.
“‘Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.'” (vv. 12-15)
Christ, the Messiah, the King, took on the role of a servant and performed the lowliest task around. (Any RRBC’ers out there remember what it was like the year we washed each other’s feet during chapel service?) It’s humbling to kneel before someone, take their foot in your hand and gently wash it as an act of service.
We lose some pride and some of our rights when we choose to serve someone, even if there’s no chance of being served in return. But that’s not the way we want it, right? We’d rather the deal be, “I’ll serve you, if you serve me.” The way Jesus wants it is to serve even when we aren’t being served.
I’m reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss‘ book “Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free” and one of this week’s truths was “We’re never more like Jesus than when we’re serving others.” That hit home hard with me. I’ve gone through weeks recently where I’ve kept score in my head of the number of times I’ve done this or that for my husband, waiting for him to return the favor, then growing resentful when it doesn’t happen. After I read that statement, I quit keeping score, or at least tried to. Human nature says I’ll fail time and again at it. And I found that when I served and then served some more and then served some more, I wasn’t angry, or resentful, or tired. I was … joyful?
I didn’t expect that. I hoped I’d be content, but full of joy to change the umpteenth poopy diaper, to wake up early with the toddler again, or to prepare his snack for his night class?
Really. It’s true. If you don’t believe me, give it a try. And don’t expect your husband necessarily to notice or say anything. Just do it, and know that Jesus is pleased that you’re following His example and becoming more like Him.