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April showers made me cranky but we still had some fun

I’m writing this at the beginning of May and it’s finally starting to feel a little more like spring. The weather has fluctuated as much as my feelings these past weeks. As I’ve looked back on the month, I can hardly believe some of the things that were part of it (and that’s why I write these posts, so I remember the good things). You know the drill: what we did, what we ate, what we watched, what we read.

What We Did

Track meets; lacrosse matches. Sports parent life. The month started off with cold, windy weather. Not a fun sports environment but we do love watching our kids participate. The month also ended with cold, windy weather. Spring sports season has been brutal thus far.

An afternoon out with book club friends. We wandered through Building Character searching for odd/quirky gifts around $5 to exchange later, then stopped at The Lancaster Pickle Company to sample some pickles (a pickle on a stick!) before heading to Maize, a Mexican restaurant for margaritas and appetizers.

We love pickles!

Our daughter attended the high school musical with her middle school play castmates, so Phil and I had some time with our son, who opted to play video games with us: Jackbox 8 Party Pack. Admittedly, these games were mostly fun and not too thought-provoking for a Saturday night.

Game night with our small group from church. We played some new and familiar games. Bohnanza, which is a bean-planting game; Dominion, which is a deck-building game; Code Names and Apples to Apples. It was a fun night of hanging out.

Spring break! For the first time in recent memory, we had a full 5-day break for Easter weekend. It was busy with the best kinds of things: a  massage for me, a writing presentation to my online writing group, and delivering and distributing the lacrosse fundraiser stickies to those who ordered. We had a video call with our Illinois family on Easter Sunday as well.

Before we started the deliveries!

The Franklin Institute and Philadelphia. We gifted our daughter with tickets to The Harry Potter Exhibition at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia.

I’m a Hufflepuff

It was our first outing to a city since 2019, so we were a little out of our usual travel element. After finally finding some parking, we ate our lunch near a fountain in Logan Square across from the Franklin Institute.

Then we wandered through the science museum for a couple of hours before our tickets to the exhibition took effect.

An original Wright Brothers plane

Our kids loved the immersive experience of the exhibition. It was super crowded. I loved some of the historical exhibits in the other parts of the Franklin Institute.

Standing in the coal bin of a train engine

We ended our day at H Mart in Upper Darby where we ate dinner at the food court and then perused the grocery store for the snacks and ramen we’ve been craving since my last trip to H Mart with the book club friends. Overall, it was a fun day that makes me want to get back to day trips to cities.

More video games with our son. Our daughter went out with some friends to the roller rink, so while the three of us were home, we played more video games together. 

Writers brunch. A couple of very dear writer friends open their home every once in a while to host a bunch for local-ish writers, and I got to attend for the first time this month. It. Was. Amazing. I keep forgetting how life-giving it is to be in a room with people who write, to talk with them about writing and just share our collective struggles and joys. I already can’t wait for the next one.

Indie Bookstore Day! I visited a new bookstore in Lancaster. Pocket Books is in a house with a porch and has tall shelves full of beautiful reads in a variety of genres.

So charming. I can’t wait to go back.

What We Ate

Chick-fil-a. We needed to eat out after a full day that ended with a lacrosse match.

H Mart food court food: pork fried rice, soup, sushi, Korean chicken.

Seafood in a thick noodle broth
Our son’s sushi plate

Grilled stickies. After all the ordering/delivering, I was pleased to learn that they lived up to the hype.

Easter dinner: Grilled ham steaks, cheesy potatoes made with goat milk gouda, green beans with fig vinaigrette, crescent rolls. Dessert: Cheesecake bites and mini-eclairs.

Our daughter’s cooking inspiration is back so one night a week, she’s choosing and making the meal. Her first offering was crispy rice topped with imitation crab, avocado, cucumber, green onion and jalapeño. Then she made meatloaf from a TikTok video and it was spicy and delicious. A week later, she fed us a five-cheese baked mac and cheese. She either loves us or is trying to kill us.

Thai. Phil and I went out for lunch while the kids had a youth group hangout at church. We added Thai iced tea to our meal and it was worth it! A non-alcoholic drink with an umbrella that was sweet and refreshing–what’s not to love?

What We Watched

Moon Knight. I have no idea where this is going but I’m along for the ride. And what a ride it is.

SNL Clips. Angelo clips crack me up. And Bowen is my current favorite cast member, although there are a lot of contenders to choose from. We showed our kids the Angelo clips and for a couple of days our son said, “Tonight” in a high-pitched voice repeatedly.

Outlander. Season 6 is brutal and also contains some unforgettable scenes and lines from the book. I’m itching to re-read the series now.

Bridgerton. Anthony’s story is one of my favorites. I know everyone is missing the Duke from season 1 but I love the electricity between Anthony and Kate. I enjoyed the way this played out, but I think I might need to re-read the book this one was based on.

Show Dogs. This was a ridiculous, sort of dumb movie but it was good for some laughs.

Around the World in 80 Days. We finished it. It was fabulous. I want to watch it more times.

Sanditon. Season 2 is growing on me. 

Escape From Mr. Lemoncello’s Library. I enjoyed the book. The movie was so-so. Like Willy Wonka, but in a library.

What We Read

Books I finished:

Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. Mixed feelings about this one. It’s written by a white man who apparently researched by talking with a former geisha but it still left me feeling confused and unsettled (and not in a good way).

Where the Lost Wander by Amy Harmon. Writing a story set during westward expansion and pioneer days is no easy task. So many of these kinds of stories make the white man out to be the victim and the native people the aggressors. This book paints both cultures as complicated and culpable when it came to conflict between them. It was so well-written I had disturbing dreams one night after reading a couple of chapters because I was so immersed in the story. Amy Harmon is one of my new favorites when it comes to historical fiction.

I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai. I took time on my lunch break to read a little bit of this book each day, and while I’ve always been inspired by Malala, reading her story and the background of where she grew up in Pakistan added to my admiration of her. She is more than just the girl who got shot by the Taliban.

The Nature of the Beast by Louise Penny. The last couple of Inspector Gamache books were a struggle, but this one is back to what I love about the series: the suspense of not knowing who committed the crime with some underlying backstory that is unsettling and may continue to play in future books.

When Stars Are Scattered by Omar Mohamed and Victoria Jamieson. This is a second read-through for me but my book club at work is reading it this month, so I’m re-reading. It was just as or more impactful the second time through.

The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels by India Holton. I was off to a slow start with this one because I didn’t understand that it was a historical fantasy (I guess?) with lady pirates and flying houses in Victorian England. But it didn’t take long for me to be thoroughly engrossed and entertained. It was a fresh twist on some of the usual genres I read.

Books in progress:

The Eternal Current by Aaron Niequist. Aaron spoke at our church this month and I was curious about his book. I’ve only just started it.

Spy School Goes South by Stuart Gibbs. Each one gets better than the last one.

Subpar Parks by Amber Share. While we were waiting for a digital version of Spy School Goes South to hit my email, we read a few selections from this funny and informative book.

These Precious Days by Ann Patchett. Our next book club read, and after one essay and the introduction, I have decided I love Patchett’s writing.

Call Us What We Carry by Amanda Gorman. This is some powerful poetry. I wasn’t prepared to process my all my pandemic feelings, but Gorman gives words to all those things I’ve sort of avoided for the past two years.

Fish In a Tree by Lynda Mullaly Hunt. My next lunch read at work about a girl with dyslexia who has fooled her teachers and parents for years about her disability.

March had 31 days and I felt every one of them: A monthly round-up

March and January both have 31 days, so I’m not sure why March feels so much longer. Maybe it’s because I know spring is approaching and the back-and-forth winter-to-spring weather of March makes the month drag on. Whatever the reason, I felt ALL 31 days of March. Here’s our monthly roundup of What We Did (birthday!), What We Ate (cake!), What We Watched (Murderville, anyone?) and What We Read (so many books!).

What We Did

At the very start of the month, our son had a basketball playoff game to close out the season. The loss was tough on the boys but we celebrated a great season. They were such a fun bunch of kids to watch.

The end of basketball season rolled right into lacrosse practices, which led right into the team’s first scrimmage and first game. Outdoor spring sports are a whole mood in March. The scrimmage was 70 degrees. The first game was 40 degrees with a wind chill.

Extra fans for a cold lacrosse match

One afternoon after work, I stopped by the local police station and filed a police report about my stolen social security number. They fingerprinted me, which is more concerning when you’re standing in the place where they book people accused of crimes. But at least my identity theft is officially on the record now.

Our daughter turned 14 during a bomb cyclone snow event, which is basically par for the course for her birthday. It’s either snowing or the world is shutting down for COVID when her birthday rolls around. We had a small celebration at home, then the following week, she took a friend out to dinner, then a week later, we celebrated with my parents. 

Middle school play. FINALLY, after months of rehearsals, it was showtime for Hurricane Smith and the Garden of the Golden Monkey.

I’ll be honest: I was expecting an awkward, cringey middle school play, but this performance was stellar from the entire cast.

Our daughter went to the cast party afterward and our son slept over at the hotel with his grandparents so Phil and I hung out at a pub and ate some food while we waited for the cast party to be done. The life of teen/tween parents is not so different from toddlers: late nights, little sleep, lots of worry, epic meltdowns.

I asked my parents to stay an extra day so I could take the day off and spend it with them. We bummed around a few shops in Lancaster and Lititz and bought a few things at Costco. We ate lunch out, too. It was an enjoyable day.

That same day, Phil’s truck broke down on the way to work, so on the plus side, we’re only using gas from one vehicle right now and I know where he works because I’ve had to drive him there several mornings.

What We Ate

It is still soup season until the weather says it isn’t, and even then, I could eat soup. This month we had Coconut Curry Lentil Soup and Chunky Vegan Potato Soup. (If I were ever to become a full-fledge vegan, I think I’d call myself the Chunky Vegan).

For the impromptu birthday celebration, we grabbed some food from Central Market including soups from Isabelle Cuisine, empanadas from Empanada Gourmet, and cake from The Goodie Shop.

As per usual, we ate corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day.

Our meal out for the birthday celebration was Mexican food from Cocina Mexicana. I had chilaquiles verdes. Other food consumed included burritos, tacos, queso, chips and salsa.

We also had ice cream cupcakes for dessert from Good Life Ice Cream. A week later we had a mixed berry cake and two kinds of ice cream for the birthday treat with the grandparents.

As we waited for the cast party to wrap up, Phil and I hung out at Quip’s Pub and ate a Scotch egg and whiskey-butter parmesan fries.

We also tried a new-to-us pizza place near our church: UnCommon Pizza. They have a breakfast pizza which intrigued me: it has a garlic butter sauce with scrambled eggs and two cheeses. We added bacon. We also ate salads and garlic bread.

What We Watched

SNL clips. When I need to laugh at the state of the world and other random stuff, this is where I go.

State of the Union address. Gosh, this seems like so long ago. I know I didn’t stay up for all of it.

Murderville. Laugh-out-loud funny. Netflix. Will Arnett is a goofball but the guest stars are the ones that really get me.

Bake Squad. The girl and I were on our own for dinner one night because of schedules, so we watched an episode of this baking competition for a good cause on Netflix. Enjoyable.

Welcome to Earth. The Will Smith documentary on Disney Plus. An episode about scent. Pretty much always blows my mind.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. This revamp of the classic with The Rock, Jack Black, Kevin Hart and Karen Gillen is HILARIOUS. We laughed so hard we missed dialogue. I loved this one. So much better than the original.

Outlander. It’s back! Finally. Episode 1 was epic and sets up this very dramatic season. I am both thrilled and terrified about what’s to come.

Turning Red. What an amazing movie. Don’t believe all the negativity you might read about it.

Mulan. The live-action one.  Also so much better than the animated “original.”

The World According to Jeff Goldblum. An episode about barbecue that also featured cricket farming!

Around the World in 80 Days. We finally got back to it. Our schedules have been busy and TV has not been a priority.

College basketball. I filled out a bracket this year so I had some more-than-usual interest. Also, Illinois was in the tournament. For a bit. My interest waned after the first weekend.

Supermarket Sweep. Leslie Jones for life.

Sanditon. The second season. I had feelings two minutes into the first episode. I’m going to watch more because I can’t quit a Jane Austen inspired show. But I’m still mad about season 1.

Bridgerton. Everything returns! I’m balancing three shows in my limited free time.

What We Read

Books I Finished:

Chirp by Kate Messner. Two reasons: It’s on the Pennsylvania Young Readers Choice Awards List for this year and it takes place at a cricket farm in the Northeast. I’m intrigued by this kind of farming. This story surprisingly tackled a serious issue in the midst of a minor mystery. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It’s on the younger side of what I normally read for YA/middle grade, but still important and valuable.

What The Wind Knows by Amy Harmon. A friend who knows I like Outlander recommended this time-crossing novel, and I’m so glad she did. While Outlander is in a class of its own, this story kept me turning pages and wanting/not wanting to find out what happens. The historical part is set in 1920s Ireland during the Irish Civil War. It was fascinating to read about this time in history and I loved following Anne and Thomas’ love story.

Pride by Ibi Zoboi . This is a Pride and Prejudice remix I picked up at a school book fair, and it is so well done.

One To Watch by Kate Stayman-London. Plus-size fashion blogger Bea Schumacher agrees to go on a reality TV dating show to find love and bust stereotypes about who is worthy of love. One of my favorite recent reads. I’ve never seen an episode of The Bachelor or any other shows like that, but this book almost made me want to get in on the drama.

Harry’s Trees by Jon Cohen. An unforgettable, magical book that I will love for all time. This goes on my list of all-time favorites.

The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie. I’m hooked. I realized there are about a bazillion books by Agatha Christie, so at least I know I’ll have books to read for the foreseeable future.

Reading with the kids:

Spy School Goes South by Stuart Gibbs. Another in our series.

Other reading:

The Bible. If you’ve been around here for a while, maybe this doesn’t sound like it should be noteworthy, but over the past few years, I’ve struggled to read the Bible because of my own personal struggles with my faith. So, the fact that I’ve picked it up again (not a lot, mind you) is significant. I’m still working out my relationship with the Bible.

Books in progress:

Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. A friend who read Redeeming Love after I talked about it recommended this one. I’m about halfway through it and I’m not sure what to think. I can’t wait to talk with her about it.

I Am Malala. Still working on this one during my lunch breaks at work.

My book club friends went to the movies with me (and how that’s restoring my faith)

It’s been more than a month now since I saw Redeeming Love in the theater with a group of book club friends who were either humoring me or genuinely curious about this story I can’t let go of.

Not our best photo but proof we were there!

But let me back up–say 20 years or so. Redeeming Love is one of the first “Christian” books I remember reading after I decided to align my life with this movement called Christianity. I don’t remember who recommended it or when exactly I read it but I remember being moved by it.

To back up even further, for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, Redeeming Love is the first book published by Francine Rivers in the Christian market. Before that, she wrote romance novels–like sexy-shirtless-guy-on-the-cover novels. Then, Jesus entered her life and she wrote different kinds of novels. Redeeming Love is sort of her testimony of the change in her life and it’s based on a book in the Bible called Hosea, where God tells this man Hosea to marry a prostitute.

Phew. You still with me? It gets weirder. Not to recap the whole story but in the Bible, it’s an illustration of God’s love for a wayward people (Israel). Francine Rivers turned it into a love story set in 19th Century California during the Gold Rush.

I have cried multiple times while reading this book, moved by a love that would pursue someone despite the odds. (I even wrote this glowing review a decade ago when the book was re-released. I can’t bring myself to re-read the review, so just keep in mind that a different Lisa wrote those words.)

Fast forward to present day. Some of my beliefs have changed and my circle is wider than it used to be. Offhand during a book club meeting when we were discussing which book we should read next, I suggested that we read Redeeming Love so we could go see the movie when it released.

I was unprepared for the reaction. As a result of our conversation, i did a deep dive on why some women find Redeeming Love problematic. I was shocked at what I read–because their perspective hadn’t occurred to me. Some women argued that the book is misogynistic and encourages women to stay in abusive relationships. (I doubt this was the author’s intent, but as a writer myself, this terrifies me, that what I write could be interpreted in a way that I didn’t intend.)

This is the shortest and most ineffective summary I can make of the complaints against Redeeming Love. I went back to book club and admitted that they might be right. It might be a horrible book. It pained me to admit this, but one thing I’m learning is that it’s good to consider all perspectives, especially about something I might hold dear. My perspective (and the one I was taught for decades) is not the only one or the right one. I opened myself up to the possibility that a beloved book is harmful, and it made me uncomfortable.

Which is good.

What happened next surprised me, though.

Two of my book club friends wanted to read it, even after our discussion. One, an atheist, read the entire thing (for me, as an outside perspective) and gave me her thoughts. (This kind of friend is invaluable, and I’m so grateful.)

And they STILL wanted to go to the movies with me. (We planned an axe-throwing excursion afterward in case we needed an outlet for our aggression toward the patriarchy.)

Going in, I sort of dreaded seeing the movie, even though these friends had made clear that it had no bearing on our friendship if I liked this book or movie. (This, too, is a gift: not needing to conform to any standard to be accepted in a group.)

And, friends, I did like it. The movie was better than I expected, even as I heard the whispers and comments and gasps from my friends on either side. I had so many thoughts that I drove in silence to the axe-throwing place. Fortunately, we had a long wait for our turn to throw axes, and we talked about the movie.

Because they are such a gracious and generous group, I could share openly that I actually enjoyed the movie more than I expected. Some of the concerns women voiced about the plot and the way the male lead relates to the female lead were less of an issue in the movie than in the book. There’s more consent. (My biggest issue is with the way the movie ends because of the message it sends: just turn to God and everything in your life will work out! Some of that is a product of the genre of the book and movie, though.)

I liked the movie and that surprised me.

It also caused me to wrestle with some emotions and feelings I’ve been having about my faith journey.

For the past several years, I’ve been in a process of deconstruction–dismantling and examining what I believe, what I was taught to believe, what I actually think/believe–and it’s painful. Some days I wanted to throw out everything I’ve learned about faith and light it on fire. Good riddance. Other days, I remember the joy and comfort I found. For a time, I needed to step really far away from the traditions and practices of my early adulthood in order to evaluate their continued role in my life.

During this time of deconstruction, I read a lot of tweets from #exvangelical (ex-evangelical) Twitter that led me to believe I needed to discard everything, including any kind of organized religion/spirituality, that everything associated with western Christianity is garbage. In the wilderness of leaving evangelicalism, I still sought belonging, and I thought the only way to belong was to adopt a new fundamentalism–one where I trash everything from before and wade into another place of black-and-white “rules.” Maybe not all of deconstruction is like this, but I felt pressure to question everything (which is good) and reject everything (which is not good) and find my own way.

This whole Redeeming Love situation showed me a different way forward, the way I actually want to follow.

I can acknowledge the ways people have been hurt by books and teachings and policies and power structures and mourn with them for the ways the Christian faith has been twisted and used to hurt. I have been hurt by it, too, though not in the extreme ways that some have suffered.

And I can recognize that there are people and teachings and books and communities that helped me through difficult times, and I don’t have to agree with or disagree with everyone in a particular group in order to belong.

Redeeming Love is a book that was meaningful to me in a time of life that I really needed it. So I’m going to hang on to that.

For years, I wanted to put the Bible in the same category of things I needed to discard. But after a recent series at church where we talked about what the Bible is and isn’t and how it’s been used in hurtful and helpful ways, I’m on a journey of rediscovery that I’m not quite ready to write about yet. I miss the days when my faith was easy, when I had a lot of joy about the path I was on. And I don’t want to go back to that because not everything I was feeling or experiencing was true. It was true for me at the time, but not all of it fits where I’m at in my life now.

I’ve grown and changed and so has my faith. Maybe I’m not so much deconstructing or reconstructing but more like remodeling my faith. Just like in a house, the rooms we may have loved that suited us when we moved in eventually need an upgrade. A refresh.

I think that’s where I’m at with my faith. I don’t want to tear down the whole structure, but I want it to reflect more of where I’m at now as a person.

It’s a process, and it’s messy. Like any remodel (so I’ve heard). But in the end, I think I’m going to like the result because it will be a truer reflection of who I am now.

—

Can you relate? How has your faith journey changed since you started? And if you’ve read Redeeming Love and/or seen the movie, I’d love to hear what you think (even if it’s different from what I think; especially if it’s different from what I think.)

The shortest month gave us the chance to get away: a February round-up

The shortest month of the year always seems like a blink, so I’m glad we were able to pack it with some fun. During President’s Day Weekend, we took a short trip to the beach, our first-ever school year weekend getaway thanks to Phil’s new work schedule.

So, this month, some of the categories will have a special section of What We (Did, Ate, Watched, Read) … On Our Getaway. Let’s get to it!

What We Did On Our Getaway

Months ago, we had hoped our getaway would be to a city like New York or D.C. but with COVID cases being high when we started our planning, we opted for something less metropolitan and took ourselves to the beach for the weekend. Destination: Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. We do not often go to the beach in the summer because we have other summer plans, so this was our chance to see the ocean for the first time in years. (It didn’t disappoint.)

Phil planned our weekend because I have decision fatigue right now. And he’d been to a couple of places in Delaware in the fall that he wanted to show us. Our first stop was a Trader Joe’s in Delaware. We don’t have one nearby and we thought that would give us some unique grocery options for our condo meals. (It did. Our family has been introduced to cookie butter and now we will never be the same.) Then we stopped for “brunch” at Helen’s Sausage House. (More on this later.) Our first adventure stop was Bombay Hook National Wildlife Refuge.

It was a slightly overcast day, and I was obsessed with the lighting.

Phil took himself to this refuge for his birthday in August. He is big into birding, and I just want to be outside and away from people.

I couldn’t pass up this picture.

This was perfect. We spent more than 3 hours driving through the refuge, and getting out to hike (sorry, they were “short walks”; our son has less opposition to them if they are walks rather than hikes).

Heron on the left. I could have watched it all day.

One path led to an old tree that mesmerized me with its root system.

There’s a story here

That same path passes some ruins for a World War 2 era radio headquarters building. Our daughter is a WW2 nerd and loved it. 

Until this exact moment, she was griping about having to go for another walk.

It was so refreshing to be outside. We climbed two towers, which was monumental for me. Usually I’m a little bit woozy climbing to the top of things on windy days but I felt perfectly secure. I credit my anxiety and blood pressure meds for doing their jobs.

The light of the day was perfect for pictures, and I could probably post them all here, but you might get bored. Just know that it is well worth the drive if you are within driving distance and into birds and outdoor things.

By the time we got to the condo it was dinner time. After dinner we played two games of Sushi Go and one game of Clue.

The living/dining/kitchen area of the VRBO we rented

The next day, Saturday, we went to Cape Henlopen State Park to walk the Point, a stretch of the Delaware seashore where the Delaware Bay meets the Atlantic Ocean. It’s not open to walk during the summer because it’s a nesting ground. It took us an hour but we walked next to the ocean with the wind stinging our faces and the waves crashing around us. I’ve never felt so alive.

We saw horseshoe crab carcasses and thousands of shells, a couple of lighthouses and the wreckage of a 19th century ship that’s just stuck in the water near the beach with some informational signage.

Tangible history makes my heart beat faster and spurs my imagination

After our walk, we stopped at the nature center to look at a few aquarium and reptile exhibits.

Then it was on to Fort Miles, which is also in the park. It was a World War 2 base. First, we went to the observation tower and climbed the spiral staircase to the very tope. Amazing views and still low anxiety on my part. I’m so proud of myself!

View on the way up
Proof I made it to the top

We walked around the rest of the site and into the museum. Our son is obsessed with cannons and large guns.

I don’t know what this obsession of his means …

One of the large guns that was on the USS Missouri when the Japanese surrounded lives at the historical slte. The museum also has a piece of the USS Arizona from Pearl Harbor. (Another trip, another time.)

Our after-lunch adventure was to downtown or city center Rehoboth. I wanted to visit Browseabout Books (we did; we bought books).

To only call this place a “bookstore” is a limited description; so much stuff!

We also walked a portion of the boardwalk. This was the busiest area we’d encountered on our entire weekend, so it was a little bit overwhelming.

Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

But we found a Zoltar! And explained to the kids why that was important.

I am NOT making a wish on that thing! Is the cord plugged in? I can’t tell!

The next day was our travel day back to Lancaster.

What We Did The Rest of the Month

Jigsaw puzzle. We had an early dismissal on a Friday because icy conditions were forecasted so I opened up a Travel the World puzzle to torture myself (with dreams of travel; the puzzle wasn’t hard). 

Someday, I’ll be ready to travel again

More basketball games. More wins. Our son is a beast under the basket, and we’re just so proud of his effort on the court. We had a tough loss to end the season. (Playoffs were technically in March, so you’ll have to wait to find out about that!)

Axe-throwing! I went out with some book club friends to a movie (see below) and axe-throwing afterward.

Our “coach” thought we all worked together; he was not expecting me to answer “book club” when asked how we knew each other.

It was more fun than I thought it would be, and I landed two bullseyes in the half hour we were throwing. Would do again!

My son wanted me to hit one bullseye. Imagine his surprise when I hit two!

Our daughter volunteered with a group from school to help with a local fire company’s ox roast fundraiser.

Super Bowl parties. Our son went to one; the rest of us went to another.

Yahtzee with family via FaceTime. I love board games via video call.

This was a legitimate Yahtzee, not a staged picture.

What We Ate On Our Getaway

On the way to Rehoboth, we stopped at Helen’s Sausage House, this little restaurant Phil came across in his research for his fall day trip.

Phil took this picture back in August when he stopped here

It’s the kind of place that stays in its lane and does it really well. We had numerous single sausages with egg and cheese on a roll, a bacon/egg/cheese sandwich, and a bacon sandwich.

We sat in the parking lot of a rest area to eat these. No regrets.

Simple and delicious. If you’re ever passing through Delaware before noon, look it up.

Our dinner at the condo was three kinds of ravioli from Trader Joes: lobster, cauliflower-cheese and mushroom truffle. We also had a Mediterranean salad and bread with garlic butter.

Our first breakfast of the getaway started with decaf Trader Joe’s single-use coffees (because that was the easy thing to buy for my coffee needs) and frozen Belgian waffles topped with the aforementioned cookie butter, whipped cream and fresh raspberries and blackberries.

Mmm…breakfast

Lunch was a smorgasbord of frozen fried foods (hey! we’re on vacation!): mozzarella sticks, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese bites and Impossible nuggets (which I liked better than chicken nuggets) alone with a jalapeño sauce for dipping. That was spicy!

We planned for dinner out on Saturday night and Phil enjoys Dogfish Head beer, so we headed to the brewery in Rehoboth. Our wait was close to 45 minutes, but we listened to live music as we ate. Again, too much food, but whatever. Pickle chips, “dog pile” nachos (tortilla chips slathered in beer chili, spinach and artichoke dip and other nacho toppings) and pretzel bites for appetizers.

Spinach-artichoke dip on nachos? It works.

The kids both had burgers.

That’s a burger!

Phil and I split a crab dip pizza.

So good.

There were leftovers.

Our Sunday breakfast was another smorgasbord: hash browns, vanilla bean scones, iced raspberry danish, pancake bread and yogurt.

We stopped for lunch in Middletown, Delaware, at a place called Capriotti’s which boasts the greatest sandwich in America. It’s called The Bobbie and has turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce on it.

Greatest sandwich in America? Debatable.

I ate it and didn’t hate it, but saying it’s the greatest might be a stretch. Other sandwiches consumed: capastrami; roast beef with cole slaw, provolone and thousand island; chicken parm cheesesteak.

What We Ate the Rest of the Month

You guessed it! Soups! Hubbard squash soup (hubbard squash is a giant grayish looking squash with a dark orange middle); potato leek soup; creamy mushroom soup; chicken tortilla soup. 

Chicken tortilla soup topped with tortilla strips

On the Olympic Opening Ceremony night, we ordered takeout from Chili Szechuan, a local Chinese restaurant inside an Asian market. We like to have food that represents the country where the Olympics are being held, and this was a good choice (thanks Reddit!) for Chinese food that was not the completely Americanized version.

Noodles from the Chinese restaurant

Ice cream for breakfast for National Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day on Feb. 5. Waffles with ice cream and sauces and fruit and other toppings.

Ice cream for breakfast? You don’t have to ask me twice!

Popeye’s. This was our Valentine’s Day meal after a long week of work for both Phil and me.

White chocolate truffles and custard creams (cookies). Our daughter made these from her Harry Potter cookbook for the Super Bowl party we attended.

What We Watched

Winter Olympics! All day every day. This was our viewing on our getaway as well.

Redeeming Love. I have A LOT of thoughts and feelings about this that may be too long for this particular space. I’ve read this book twice, and many of my feelings and beliefs have changed since the last time I read it, so I was skeptical about the movie. I liked it, though, and I will write more about why this was so difficult for me.

Maybe we don’t take the best selfies, but we do have a lot of fun.

Kim’s Convenience. We finished it. It was not a satisfying ending like Schitt’s Creek, but overall it was a series that made me laugh and think and laugh some more.

Big. After seeing the Zoltar machine on Rehoboth Beach, we told the kids about this movie and watched it with them. We had to fast forward through one scene because 1980s PG is a whole different rating system!

Murderville. Netflix. Will Arnett and guest “detectives” who have no script, improv-ing the whole thing. Pretty hilarious.

The news. Because of the Ukraine-Russia conflict.

What We Read

Books I finished:

The Most Spectacular Restaurant in the World: The Twin Towers, Windows on the World, and the Rebirth of New York by Tom Roston. While my husband was browsing the cookbook section of the library and I was waiting for him, this title grabbed my attention. It was an overall interesting history of how one restaurant came to be in New York City. The chapters detailing the night before 9/11 and the morning of were chilling. 

Never Leave Me by Jody Hedlund. A time-crossing, the second in a series. Hedlund’s books always grip from the beginning and I easily get lost in the worlds and stories she creates. I love that she wrote a time-crossing series.

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. At times overwhelming and intense. Still, there was a beauty about the story. Although it’s overall kind of sad. I don’t yet know all my feelings about this book. But I’m glad I read it.  This is one line that I can’t forget: “And isn’t the whole point of things–beautiful things–that they connect you to some larger beauty?”

Books finished with the kids:

Spy School Secret Service by Stuart Gibbs. We laugh and react so much while we’re reading this series.

Books in progress:

I Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban by Malala Yousafzai. I’ve been slowly reading this one on my lunch break at work, and while I was familiar with Malala’s story on a surface level, I had no idea what life was like for her under the Taliban.

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown. For book club. I’m lukewarm on this book. Sometimes I love what the chapters are bringing and sometimes I don’t. It can be a lot to digest all at once.

How to Love the World: Poems of Gratitude and Hope. I took this one on our getaway and read a few poems at various times.

Phil’s books:

An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good by Helene Tursten. He’s on a mystery kick right now.

What I Learned in 2021

I shared the following thoughts with our church community on February 13 as part of a series to start the year called “What We Learned in 2021.” Images added for blog purposes.

A friend recently shared a meme on Facebook that said: “What I learned in 2021: no one learned anything in 2020.”

Obviously, that’s meant to be a joke, but on some of my worst days in 2021, I could believe it. 

What I learned in 2021 is rooted in 2020, though. Last year, after the summer lull of COVID cases that gave us a sense of normality, fall brought us more of what the early days of the pandemic did: rising numbers, uncertainty, confusion. Except that this time, we were still expected as a society to sort of carry on as normal. 

Sometime late in 2021, I realized that I was happier in lockdown. 

Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

Remember lockdown? It feels like a lifetime ago. And maybe “happier” is the wrong word because I definitely didn’t enjoy being unemployed, and my kids were struggling with online school, and I was afraid for my husband’s health and safety because he worked with the public. But there was something good about that time for me. Life was boiled down to its simplest elements. We spent a lot of time together as a family, which can be a blessing and a curse. We hiked almost every week. I sent a hand-written letter or card snail mail to a different person every week. We reached out to more friends and family via zoom and FaceTime. Some of my best memories from that time are things we never would have done if we weren’t in lockdown: a board game night with friends in Pittsburgh and North Carolina via Zoom; watching a parade of teachers from my kids’ school as they visited all the neighborhoods where students lived; virtual adventures (we picked a destination at random and watched a documentary and made some food that reflected the culture of that area).

The expectations from society during lockdown matched my own longings: to slow down and stay home more and take care of people. There was a sense of camaraderie, like we were all in this together.

Generally, I’m the kind of person who will just keep going along on a certain path until I’m forced to make a change. I don’t seek out change. That’s an unhealthy go-with-the-flow kind of attitude because I let other people or outside circumstances determine the “flow” of my life. Before March 2020, life was hectic and busy, and even if I wanted things to be different, I didn’t know how different things could be or how to make them different.

Lockdown changed all of that.

So when life tried to get back to some kind of normal, first in the fall of 2020, then in the fall of 2021, I was anxious and conflicted. I still wanted some of that lockdown life, but now I felt pressure to abandon it for what life was like before the pandemic began. The desire to get back to “normal” is a strong one, but I started to wonder what exactly “normal” meant.

Before I go on, I want to say that I understand that my experience of lockdown came with some privilege, and I don’t want to ignore that. Yes, I was unemployed, but I was receiving unemployment and my husband was still working. Yes, I was stuck at home with my kids, but they’re pre-teen or teenage and moderately self-sufficient. Lockdown was more challenging for some people than others: like those who live alone or who have small children and for those of us who struggle with mental illness. I don’t want you to hear me say “Life was better in lockdown” and tune me out because that’s not how it was for you. Lockdown was hard. I know that.

But I like how author Matt Haig, who openly writes about mental illness, evaluated the tension between lockdown life and “normal” life. In May of 2021, he posted on Twitter: “Lockdown posed massive mental health challenges. But our ‘normal’ world of long working hours, stressful commutes, overstretched lives, hectic crowds, shopping centres, pointless meetings, eco-destruction and 24/7 everything was hardly a mental health utopia. A new normal please.”

That’s the tension I felt. That I no longer wanted the kind of life where I was stretched to the extremes daily, where my health suffered because I was trying to meet all the expectations of work, family and society. Lockdown gave me a glimpse of what life could look like and helped me evaluate what I want it to include. I realized I have more choice than I thought about the kind of life I want to live.

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

That sounds really simple in theory. Putting it into practice is another thing entirely. It’s definitely a work in progress because aren’t we all? But I’m trying to pay attention to what adds meaning to my life and what doesn’t. Sometimes it’s little things like lighting a candle for no special reason or sitting in silence. Sometimes it’s a choice that seems counterproductive but adds to my overall health like taking a walk before starting on dinner prep or napping before finishing some household chore. I’m trying to cure myself of always needing to DO something and letting myself just BE from time to time.

In 2021, though, it also looked like taking my anxiety seriously. Late in the year, I started taking a daily anxiety medication. I have lived with anxiety for so long that I didn’t know life could be any different. I was scared to make a change because I had learned how to “manage” my anxiety. But the pandemic has also taught me that I don’t just want to “manage” through life. I don’t just want to survive. Some days, that’s all I’ve got, but in the long run, I want to live a whole life. 

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

2021 was also the year that brought our family to Life Church. We had been stuck in our previous church community and our faith was becoming stagnant or starting to die out. We felt like we needed to leave but weren’t sure how or when until COVID hit. 

I remember the first few Sundays that we tuned in online to Life Church and as the songs played, I felt angry. Not at Life Church; I was angry that I’d been experiencing such a limited piece of the Kingdom of God. There were inclusive songs? Songs about justice? Songs of lament that didn’t have choruses with easy answers? As with my anxiety, I didn’t know my experience of faith could be like this. But we’d had to leave what we’d always known and venture out toward something relatively unknown.  

We recently watched the movie “Free Guy” as a family, and I won’t give anything away if you haven’t seen it, but at one point, the main character says “Life doesn’t have to be something that just happens to us.” So much of my life has felt like it was happening to me and those words stir something inside of me. That also scares me a little because it requires change.

So I guess if I had to sum up what I learned in 2021 in just one sentence, I would say: “It doesn’t have to be this way.” I hope that doesn’t sound naive because I know that sometimes, for a season, life does have to be a certain way. There are things I can do now that I could never do when I had babies at home. And there will be things that I can do years from now that I can’t do now because I have teenagers at home.

Maybe the changes I’m looking for can be made immediately. Maybe others will take more time and planning. But when I feel tension about the way life is going, this is what I keep coming back to. 

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Which leads to some follow-up questions: if it doesn’t have to be THIS way, then how do I want it to be? And what can I do to work toward that?

Live a great story

I was thinking back recently to the time late last summer into early fall when we’d had a bit of a respite from rising COVID cases and people were making fall plans only to have the Delta variant arrive on the scene. On Twitter, especially, “my fall plans/delta variant” memes were shared widely.

This one was my favorite (you probably have to be a fan of “The Office” to LOL at it):

And this one’s for all of us old enough to remember:

This whole vibe was sort of how I was feeling about the start of 2022. I used to feel a lot of hope and positive expectation at the new year, but the last two years have made me wary of thinking things will get better or that my life will improve in noticeable ways just because the calendar flips over to a new year. I’m not saying I have no hope for these things but instead of demanding them of the new year, I’m sort of tilting my head at the new year with a look of curiosity.

Like, “What do you have for us now?”

It’s a potentially dangerous question, but I’m trying to be open to what comes next, whatever it is.

That’s not a happy-new-year-rah-rah-crush-your-goals kind of sentiment, but those have never really worked for me anyway. (Plus it’s February now. We’re solidly settled into the new year anyway, right?)

I’m honestly wanting to navigate the space between false optimism and gloom-and-doom. I want to acknowledge the reality of the circumstances in which we live while holding out hope that things can change.

//

I recently read an author bio that listed a bunch of amazing things the person had done before becoming an author: “J.R. has been an international spy, a professional skydiver, a jazz musician and has climbed three mountains and sailed solo around the world.” This is not the actual bio, but it contained similar jobs or positions that a reader might think are exciting or important. Maybe the inclusion of them in the bio was meant to impress, or maybe it’s just the author being honest about what has happened in their life.

Reading it discouraged me a little bit. I wondered if any other writers reading the bio might think, “Is THAT what it takes to be an author?” It’s certainly the kind of life that gets attention, but what about those of us who don’t have that kind of life? Can we still be writers?

More generally, I wondered if anyone might question their own life experiences, thinking “interesting” lives are the only ones worth anything.

//

My life is hardly what I would call exciting and I kind of like it that way. I’m a middle-aged white woman married to a middle-aged white man. We’re raising two kids (one a teenager, one a pre-teenager). My favorite pastime is reading a book in my pajamas. I like being at home because the world exhausts me. No one important knows my name. No one would look at my life and think “Wow! What an amazing life she’s lived.”

I don’t say any of this to elicit sympathy or words to the contrary. This is my life, and what it lacks in excitement it makes up for with stability, depth and meaning. (I hope. I don’t feel this way about my little life every day, but I think it is true overall.)

Does that mean it’s not important?

//

I have the pleasure of being part of an online writing group through the health and fitness community My Peak Challenge (founded by Outlander actor Sam Heughan). In the last year, I have gotten more involved with the Peaker Writers, as our subgroup is called, and it’s been encouraging to my writing to talk about the projects I’m working on and support other writers in their endeavors.

This year, our group designed a T-shirt for members. The motto we chose to represent our community is “Live a Great Story.”

It’s a message I believe with all my heart–that we’re meant to live a great story with our lives.

What, though, I wonder does it mean to live a “great” story?

Do I have to accomplish a never-before-attempted challenge? Do I have to have an exciting career? Do I have to take an impressive trip? Do I need to found a charity that saves the world or fund a movement that effects some massive change? 

Are those the only ways to be “great”?

I’m pretty sure that’s not what our group meant when it chose this motto.

We’re a gracious, supportive, inspiring, encouraging group who celebrate every goal and challenge met or worked toward. (The entire My Peak Challenge community is this way. You don’t have to be an elite athlete or work out hard every day or run a marathon or lose 100 pounds in order to be encouraged and celebrated.) It’s one of my favorite things about the community: your goals are YOUR goals, no one else’s and you get to decide how and when and if you reach them but every step forward (or backward) is cheered and encouraged and full of support because we recognize that life is not a straight line and reaching your goals is not an onward and upward kind of journey. Sometimes it takes us in circles. Sometimes we have to go backward or pause or change course. That doesn’t mean we’ve failed.

Photo by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash

But back to being “great.”

Can we live a great story in the midst of our everyday lives? Can our stories be great if they don’t measure up to some lofty idea of greatness?

I’d like to suggest that yes, they can.

//

One of the fun things about my job as a teacher’s aide in a reading class is all the new knowledge I acquire. I’ve learned about interesting people and places and animals from these small books we read together with our students.

A month or so ago, we read a story about a British man named Alastair Humphreys who 10-ish years ago (these books are a little bit outdated) launched the idea of micro adventures. Humphreys has done some big adventures, too, but he had this idea that maybe you didn’t have to climb a mountain or run an ultra-marathon or travel around the world to have an adventure.

He says this on his website: “you do not need to fly to the other side of the planet to undertake an expedition. You do not need to be an elite athlete, expertly trained or rich to have an adventure.” That’s good news for most of us.

I wouldn’t consider myself an adventurous person but I do like to experience new things and see new places. I’m a curious person but also anxious about certain adventures. I love to travel, for example, but I have high anxiety about the whole process.

Humphreys says, “I believe that adventure is about stretching yourself: mentally, physically or culturally. It is about doing what you do not normally do, pushing yourself hard and doing it to the best of your ability. If that is true then adventure is all around us, at all times. Adventure is accessible to normal people, in normal places, in short segments of time and without having to spend much money. Adventure is only a state of mind.”

Adventure is accessible to us, in the places we already live. That’s an encouraging thought, especially in pandemic times when travel and adventure are more limited than in pre-pandemic times.

So, Humphreys came up with these micro adventures, the kinds of things you could do in a weekend or close to home. You can check out his website for more about these micro adventures. Some of them involve sleeping outside. Others are food-related. (He has a challenge about eating A-Z international cuisine that intrigues me.)

All of them are meant to be done close to home. This, too, could be a great adventure.

//

The lure of fame in this insta-fame world is strong. We want to go viral or get noticed by someone famous or do something extraordinary. But most of us won’t. And even if we do, the fame will be fleeting. So much new content is generated every day that what was viral one day is old news the next. If that’s what we’re striving for because we believe it will lead to greatness, I think we’ll be disappointed. It’ll feel like sand slipping through our fingers.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

What if instead of chasing that kind of life, we look at the life we already have and redefine what it means to be “great”? Some of the greatest people to live through history are people most of us don’t even know. I’m no longer surprised when I hear about an inventor or activist or business owner from the past whose name isn’t well-known. There are so many stories and lives out there; not all of them can be known to everyone.

That doesn’t mean their stories and lives weren’t great.

//

Live a great story. 

I’m still working out what this means for my life. I’m not seeking fortune or fame or notoriety. (That stuff terrifies me because I’m so very awkward and ordinary.) I’m not seeking to make some big-time lasting impression that people will still be talking about decades from now.

I just want to live wholly and fully in the moments I have in front of me. To me a “great” life is one where I’ve followed my convictions, stayed true to my heart, sown kindness to those who come into my life whether they deserve it or not, and loved well the people and places in my care. I will consider my life “great” if at the end of it, I can see where I changed and learned and grew and can’t imagine it being any other way.

To live a great story is to choose daily in the direction of what makes the world a better place. That’s probably going to be something different for you than it is for me, and that’s what makes it such a beautiful world. I can’t tell YOU how to live a great story; only you can decide that for your life. 

All I can say is that you don’t have to let someone else decide what greatness means. You get to define it.

So, what does living a great life look like for you?

We stayed in a lot and it shows: a January round-up

January is for hibernating. That’s my assessment of the first month of 2022 for our family. It feels like we hunkered down, stayed in, watched shows and movies, and read books. I mean, I have no complaints. Our monthly round-up of What We Did, What We Ate, What We Watched and What We Read is heavy on basketball, soups and movies/TV shows. 

What We Did

New Year’s Day 2022 feels like four years ago. Since we were all home and it was a Saturday, we played a couple of board games. For Christmas, Phil had bought the family Forbidden Island. It was fun, but also a little stressful. The island is sinking and you have to work together to save artifacts/relics and get off the island. Fun, though. We also played our new favorite card game, Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza. But our hands hurt from all the slapping on the table.

A fun work-together game but it’s a little bit anxiety-inducing

We had one legitimate snow day in January. I put together this puzzle after an hour-plus of shoveling outside with my son.

The aptly titled “Snow Day” puzzle

Our Saturdays are full of youth rec basketball. There were several wins and one tough loss. We are becoming THOSE parents who cheer loudly and sometimes vocalize our discontent. 

But on one Saturday, our daughter got to participate in a county band event and we watched her concert later that day. It was moving to be in the audience for live band music again.

Ours is the redhead with the flute

We got our first ever parking ticket in downtown Lancaster. We were minutes late upping our parking time on the app, but the truth is, I’m glad it happened. I’ve been freaked out about getting a parking ticket my whole life basically because I wasn’t sure how expensive they were. Parking in general gives me anxiety. (Will we get towed?) It wasn’t as expensive as I thought and while I don’t want to repeat it, I know now I can survive it.

Uno on FaceTime with family. It’s a highlight of our weekend calls when we get to play games via video.

During the mid-month snow storm, Phil and I had plans to go out to dinner with friends. We had rescheduled a couple of times due to Covid or Covid-like symptoms, so we kept our date and drove through the city while it snowed looking for a place that was open. (See below). It was a fun, refreshing time.

Phil started playing Wordle and eventually all four of us joined him. It’s a daily family conversation.

And at church, Phil and I made our debut in the nursery/toddler room as volunteers. So far, we’re having fun, but I’m quickly realizing that I might be getting too old to be down on the floor with kids all the time. (Or maybe I just need to stretch more.)

What We Ate

New Year’s Day lunch is always full of snacks per Phil’s family tradition. There were lots of chippy dippy kinds of things. We also had pork and sauerkraut for dinner, a PA Dutch tradition that we don’t mind at all.

Pork and sauerkraut is winter comfort food

Soups, soups and more soups. Here are some of the soups we made and ate this month. (Some I forgot to take a picture of because I was so eager to eat them!) We had French onion soup from the Harry Potter cookbook; carrot, mushroom barley soup; Irish stew with turnips and carrots; pork chili; and Scottish “stovies” for Burns night.

The barley mushroom carrot soup
Irish stew

On our dinner date with friends, we ended up at Queen Street Bistro because it was the only place we could find that was open. I had a crab melt that was meaty and delicious. Phil had a mushroom pizza and an ahi tuna appetizer.

Crickets. Yes, crickets. A couple of our classes at school read a book about eating insects and the teacher who leads our class bought some cricket flour online to make cookies. She came to school on a Monday with choco-chirpies (chocolate chip cookies made with cricket flour). Honestly, they tasted like chocolate chip cookies. It was a fun day watching our students try something new.

What We Watched

The New Year’s Day tradition for Phil’s family continues with a watching of The Tournament of Roses parade. 

Usually we’re more of a shows kind of family, but we watched a bunch of movies this month. Our son had heard about Ron’s Gone Wrong, so we watched that. It is one of those happy-sad movies. We cashed in some digital credits to rent Free Guy. Uh-mazing. I can’t stop thinking about this idea that we can be more than spectators in our lives. Then we jumped on the Encanto bandwagon and it is worth the hype. And we finally watched Eternals. Unpopular opinion? I didn’t hate it. I thought I was going to hate it because I had heard some bad reviews, but I’m considering rewatching just to catch all the threads. Yes, it’s a long movie (we watched it over two nights), but I enjoyed it.

Some of our family shows we watched together: Supermarket Sweep, the new one with Leslie Jones as host and Welcome to Earth hosted by Will Smith.

Phil and I are watching Around the World in 80 Days on Masterpiece PBS. (David Tennant as Phileas Fogg?Yes please.). We’re also trying to finish Kim’s Convenience so we can move on to other comedies. We logged another episode of The World According to Jeff Goldblum, too. And weekly, as long as there are episodes, we watch SNL clips.

We watched a couple of documentaries, too. Storm Lake is PBS documentary about a family-run newspaper in western Iowa that won a Pulitzer Prize. It reminded me of my journalism days. 

And we’re halfway through a four-part docuseries on Netflix called This is a Robbery: The World’s Biggest Art Heist. It’s an intense look at the robbery of the Isabelle Stewart Gardner Gallery in Boston, Mass., in 1990, an as-of-yet unsolved crime. I’m sort of obsessed.

And one afternoon, I watched A Castle for Christmas. Yes, I watched this in January, weeks after Christmas was over. But it was on my list for Christmas movies to watch and I never got to it. Cary Elwes with a Scottish accent was something I didn’t know I needed in my life.

What We Read

Reading out loud with the kids: more Spy School books by Stuart Gibbs! We finished Spy Ski School and are about halfway through Spy School Secret Service. We will read every book in this series.

Phil finished a book! (I’m not being mean. This is just a rare event because of his limited leisure time and reading speed.) His book was Arsenic and Adobo by Mia P. Manansala. He saw it on a list of the top books of the year in the mystery category as voted by Goodreads users. There are more books coming in the series, and he’s really looking forward to them.

Books I finished: Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone by Diana Gabaldon. The long-awaited ninth book in the Outlander series. I started it over Christmas break and finished it about halfway through January. When I first started reading the Outlander books, I was borrowing them from the library and rushing to finish them in two weeks or less in case they couldn’t be renewed. I was glad to be able to take my time with this one.

The Talented Miss Farwell by Emily Gray Tedrowe. Loosely based on the Rita Crundwell decades-long crime against my hometown. 

The Long Way Home by Louise Penny. The next Inspector Gamache book. Was not my favorite.

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. My first Agatha Christie read! And definitely not my last.

Books in progress: 

Truman. Yep. I went back to it. But not for long. I need to finish it just to be done with it, but it puts me to sleep right now.

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown. Book club pick for the winter session. I have mixed feelings already. Stay tuned.

Closing out 2021 with a final monthly round-up

We started December with advent calendars and a birthday and ended with the end of the year. December 2021 … we finally made it, but I haven’t totally processed that it’s another new year already. Pandemic times are confusing for my brain. Anyway, here’s the last round-up of 2021 of What We Did, What We Ate, What We Watched, and What We Read.

What We Did

Advent calendars. These are not for particularly religious reasons, although we religiously buy the cheese advent calendars from Aldi every year. This year, Phil added a gourmet chocolate calendar to my daily ritual and a hot sauce one for our son. The kids also had chocolate calendars from a standholder at Central Market who used to work with Phil. We had a lot of daily surprises from these delicious calendars, and it was a daily delight in an otherwise glum sort of month.

Sick days. Boo. Our daughter was experiencing some COVID-like symptoms, so she stayed home for two days and I stayed with her. On day 2, we went for a rapid COVID test, which was negative. While we waited for the results we played an online game of Monopoly. (I just invented a new word while I was typing: monopology … I’m sorry for the things I said while playing Monopoly.) which spoiler alert reveals that I’m just as competitive with an online game as a physical one. Later in the month, our son wasn’t feeling well and stayed home for a day. Instead of going out and waiting for two hours for a test, we bought an at-home one and did science in our house! (I do not enjoy any of this.)

But, when the fourth member of our family turned 12, he finally got his chance at his COVID vaccine. We went on his birthday. The pharmacist administering the shot said to him: “You’re lucky it’s your birthday, otherwise we give it in the tush.” After I explained what his tush was, our son laughed. Local pharmacies for the win, friends.

Every December our favorite local radio station out of Philadelphia does a countdown of some kind. This year, it was the top 2021 albums of all time as voted on by listeners. We had the radio on A LOT during the week-plus countdown. Stream WXPN online if you’re looking for an eclectic mix of music curated by music lovers.

Coffee with friends.

And dinner with a friend. These sorts of things have been lacking during COVID, for good reason, but I’ve recognized the need to have regular friend interactions in my life. Both of these were uplifting and healing to my stressed-out, weary soul.

Spirit week. Again. This time, holiday-themed and stretching over nine days of school. We wore socks, dressed as movie characters, wore Christmas colors, wore song references, holiday headgear and ugly sweaters, among other things. It wasn’t all bad, but it did require a lot of effort beforehand. 

Proudest of my effort for this costume: lead female character in a made-for-TV Christmas movie

Every year, our school’s Technology Student Association puts on a light show in the parking lot of the middle school. It’s free (donations accepted) and it shows off the hard work students have done programming the light show. It’s amazing and fun. This year was no exception.

Basketball practices started, and our son played one game before Christmas break. He scored a basket and shot a free throw (he missed the free throw) but it was fun to see him out there.

Christmas shopping, So much Christmas shopping. We went to our favorite local businesses and came home with gifts that we were delighted to give. 

On December 24, we flew home to Illinois for Christmas.

We all made it, but one of our bags didn’t, which set off an hours-long waiting game of tracking down the bag. The bag made it on the next flight from Baltimore, but that was two hours behind us. So, we went for lunch with my parents at Portillo’s, then took a walk at a local historic site.

It was a mild day weather-wise for December in Illinois, so it made for a nice change of pace from all the people and bustle.

When we went back to the airport to see if the bag had come in, we discovered that it, indeed, had landed with the plane but had been picked up by another passenger by mistake. So, a very friendly and competent airline attendant tracked down the other passenger by phone and asked them to come back to the airport to retrieve their missing bag and return ours. Because of the fiasco, we missed one of the family gatherings we were supposed to attend. Travel, for us, is never dull.

Two days after Christmas, we were back to the airport to drop Phil off so that he could return to work. The rest of us went shopping in the suburbs so the kids could spend their Christmas money. We ended with a visit to Bass Pro Shops’ Outdoor World, which is a wild experience.

It snowed one day, so we made Christmas cookies.

This is our annual tradition as well, and someday I’ll figure out how to get them made ahead of time and distributed on or by Christmas.

They turned out just like Grandma used to make, which is really the whole point.

Throughout our holiday, we played games with family. These included Can You Name Five?; Smash Up; Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza; and We Didn’t Playtest This.

Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza is a clear favorite.

My Grandma got to move to a different room in her assisted living facility, so while my parents and aunt and uncle moved her, the kids and I took Grandma out for lunch and a drive. It was an enjoyable couple of hours.

On the last day of the year, the kids and I flew back to Pennsylvania with little to no complications. The airport wasn’t too busy. Our flight was originally going to be delayed a little bit but then was on time. We had a super bumpy flight but we made it (and so did all of our bags!). We reconnected with Phil and drove home. The kids and Phil stayed up till midnight. I turned in hours before that because the day had taken its toll on me.

What We Ate

Sushi. The birthday boy wanted sushi for his birthday meal, so he invited a friend over and we ate a variety of sushi.

Which was followed by Peanut Butter Mud Cake (ice cream cake; he is my son, after all).

For our last small group snack of the season, we made Christmas crack and ranch crackers, both of which we ate too much of and have too much leftover.

It’s still soup season. This month’s soups featured acorn squash soup, potato leek soup, cream of broccoli soup, cabbage, potato and sausage soup; and stuffed pepper soup. I could eat soup every day.

We needed a takeout celebratory meal for Phil’s new job, so we ordered from Awash, a restaurant we haven’t been to in a while. We had a variety of Ethiopian food: meat and vegetarian dishes with the ubiquitous injera (a spongy bread). 

I will admit, it does not look appetizing as takeout, but trust me, it’s delicious.

When I went out with my friend for dinner I had fish tacos from Tied House in Lititz.

Cookies and egg nog are the traditional snack while we watch White Christmas.

As mentioned earlier, we ate Portillo’s while we waited for our delayed bag.

For one of our family gatherings, we had burritos and tacos and other Mexican delights from a local taco joint.

On our shopping day, we went to a place called COVO, Greek street food. It was set up sort of like Chipotle except your choices were pitas, bowls, salads or platters. It was delicious.

Grandma wanted a taco, so we went to Mama Cimino’s, a local restaurant my friend and her husband own and run. We ate a taco, taco salad, pizza and a sampling of fried deliciousness.

And no visit to our hometown is complete without eating food from Arthur’s Garden Deli. Potatoes. Sandwiches. Soups. Highly recommend if you’re ever in northern Illinois, but it might also just be nostalgia.

And then on the way back to the airport, we stopped at a diner near Midway for lunch. It’s an all-day breakfast kind of place (my kind of place!) and if there’s a Benedict option on the menu, I’m ordering it. This was potatoes Benedict: eggs and hollandaise and ham over potato pancakes.

What We Watched

The World According to Jeff Goldblum. A Disney Plus show. Anyone who displays even mild curiosity about the world around them endears me.

Hawkeye. Loved it from the first minute till the last. 

Kim’s Convenience.

Nailed It. We watched an episode with Jack McBrayer, who is rightly labeled a national treasure.

Grantchester, the last episode of season 6. Already looking forward to season 7.

Welcome to Earth hosted by Will Smith on Disney Plus. Intense first episode. I learned, like, 12 things in less than an hour.

Nicole Byer’s comedy special on Netflix. She’s funny on Nailed It, and this one had its moments. Lots of swearing and crude humor, though.

White Christmas. An annual tradition.

All the Queen’s Horses. So, my hometown is the same town that was swindled out of $53 million over 20 years by a city employee. This documentary on Prime (previously on Netflix) is all about the woman who committed this egregious crime and how the city uncovered it and recovered from it. Fascinating and depressing all at the same time.

Judge Judy. And a variety of other daytime television we never see, but Judge Judy has quickly become our son’s favorite.

What We Read

Adorning the Dark by Andrew Peterson. I actually started this in November but forgot to add it last month. I need some words about writing every now and then, and I respect Peterson as a songwriter and author. I’m slowly working my way through this one.

Good Kings, Bad Kings by Susan Nussbaum. A few months ago I was looking for books featuring disabled characters or addressing disability issues, and my sister-in-law sent me a link to a disabled book reviewer who gave their critique and opinions on a variety of such books. This was one the reviewer thought was worthwhile. Its characters are all people who either live in or work at an institution for disabled youth, and it was sometimes hard to read because I know the circumstances are ones actually faced by people living in institutions. Fiction is a powerful method to bring awareness to topics like these.

Spy Ski School by Stuart Gibbs. Reading aloud with my kids. I’m hooked on these books.

The Sweeney Sisters by Lian Dolan. A heart-warming, authentic family drama. I’ve got some good recommendations coming in from friends and this was one of them.

Darius the Great is Not Okay by Adib Khorram. I bought this one at a book sale at the school last year. YA is such an amazing genre for getting to know the characters well.

Murder in the Dark by Kerry Greenwood. A Phryne Fisher Christmas/New Year’s story. How appropriate!

How The Light Gets In by Louise Penny. Such a work of genius. It’s a mystery, of course, but I didn’t know who to trust at any point of the story and I was shocked by how it all turned out.

When I Was The Greatest by Jason Reynolds. After hearing him speak on a podcast, I went searching for more of his work at the library. This was another one that allowed me to see into a way of life I’m not familiar with.

Future Home of the Living God by Louise Erdrich. I pulled this one off a display at the library when they were featuring Native authors. It was odd reading a dystopian story during a pandemic that’s lingering and wavering in intensity. But it was interesting writing and I want to read more Native authors.

When Calls the Heart by Jeanette Oke. So, I’ve seen every episode of the show through season 8, and I was curious about the books. I needed a quick read when I was between books on holiday, and this certainly fit that bill. But I found it shallow and lacking in plot. I might still read the rest of the series, though. Sometimes I am a glutton for punishment and even reading a not-great book is better than not reading at all. 

Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone by Diana Gabaldon. Finally digging into this behemoth of a book, taking my time, savoring the words of this ninth story in the Outlander series. I want to go back and re-read the first eight but I couldn’t wait to pick up the story again.

Keep looking: thoughts on Advent and hope

Our son turned 12 this week, and to celebrate he wanted to have a friend over for part of the afternoon into dinner the Saturday after his actual birthday. (On the day of his birthday, we celebrated by getting his first COVID shot. We sure know how to party!) We went to the ice cream store to pick out an ice cream cake then drove to his friend’s house. The boys played together for hours–outside and inside. We feasted on sushi and the chocolate peanut butter ice cream cake, then the kids resumed their video games with raucous outbursts that had me flinching. I like a quiet house as the evening descends. This was the opposite of that.

When we finally piled into the car to take his friend home, I was more than ready for some quiet. It had been a long week. We drove away from the lights of the business district where we live into the countryside where night seems darker because of the Amish houses (no electricity) scattered amongst the clusters of houses. Near a particularly dark corner, I turned onto the road, glanced up at the sky briefly–the stars are always calling to me–and saw an orange-ish streak of light cross my field of view.

A shooting star?, I thought.

It was so brief, I wondered if I had imagined it, but as we drove the rest of the way to our friends’ house, I held on to the image in my mind.

I didn’t want to forget what I had seen.

—

The week before our son’s birthday celebration was full of transition. It was also the first week of Advent. During that week, our daughter got braces, my husband started a new job, our son turned 12. Those events alone would have been enough to keep us busy. But then our daughter developed some cold-like symptoms that kept her (and me) home from school for two days and caused us to go get a COVID test for her (it was negative). On his birthday, our son got his first COVID vaccine.

At the beginning of the week, when our church lit the “hope” candle for Advent, I was low on hope even as the decorations in the auditorium and the music surrounded me with a feeling of hope. At small group Sunday night I talked about how hard it is sometimes for me to hope, how I don’t feel naturally hopeful, how hope seems skittish to me. Like if I look at it for too long, it will run away and hide.

I woke up Monday morning vowing to keep my eyes open for signs of hope. But I also went looking for hope.

I listened to a selection of music from a band called The Brilliance on repeat. I re-read Emily Dickinson’s poem “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers” reminding myself that hope is sweetest in the midst of the storm. I listened to a podcast interview with author Jason Reynolds titled “The antidote to hopelessness.” He said it’s to spend time with youth. I read a couple of blog posts/newsletter essays–one about hope being at the gates, another about lighting more candles in advent. I listened to Kate Bowler talk about hope and how tricky that can be in the midst of a cancer diagnosis when people “hope at you,” as she says. I read this article in The Atlantic about the opposite of toxic positivity and learned a new phrase that lingers in my mind–“tragic optimism.” 

I allowed myself to feel hopeful when the song “I’m Alive” by The Hooters came on the radio.

On a walk in the early evening one night, I tried to capture hope with my phone camera as the sun set in an array of brilliant colors.

By the time I saw the shooting star on Saturday night, my soul had been tuned for hope. I felt different than I had at the beginning of the week. But it didn’t just happen. I had to actively look for it.

—

I have wanted to see a shooting star or a meteor shower for years. When a news article declares the time is right to see them, I often forget or I can’t drag myself out of bed in the middle of the night or there’s too much light pollution. These sorts of celestial events are happening all the time, I’m sure, whether I’m aware of them or not, and looking for them takes patience and planning.

When I saw the shooting star on Saturday night, it reminded me of hope. How fleeting it feels and how serendipitous it can be. If I had looked up a second sooner or later or not at all, I would have missed the shooting star. If I hadn’t been looking for hope this week, I would have missed it. 

But it would have still been there. The shooting star would have streaked across the sky whether I had seen it or not. Hope, I think, is the same. It’s out there, actively happening and waiting to be noticed.

Even having seen it, it’s still easy to doubt. Moments after I saw the shooting star, I thought, did I really just see that? Or did I imagine it?

Hope can feel the same way. Is it real? Or did I just imagine it?

Photo by Ronak Valobobhai on Unsplash

This is why I think it takes some practice. And consistency. Just like I can’t expect to look up one time at the night sky and see a shooting star, I can’t try just once to see hope in the world around me. 

I have to keep looking.

Sometimes I’ll find it. Sometimes I won’t.

But that doesn’t mean I stop looking.

This will be my practice for the rest of Advent: to keep looking. 

This week, I will seek out peace. Next week, it will be joy. Then, love.

I can’t wait to see what I find.

Was it just me or did November fly?

November was a whole vibe. Until about the last week of the month, it felt like a giant blob of nothingness, then all of a sudden it was full steam ahead. I keep these records for me and our family because I like to remember all the things we’ve done, the special and ordinary moments we have each month. My day-to-day memory is terrible in the midst of stress and other difficulties. This month, while talking to a friend, I forgot that our family went to Illinois for part of our summer break. Because the pandemic has me questioning all of time. Anyway, if you get some enjoyment out of our ordinary lives, great. If not, I probably won’t stop. 🙂 Here’s our November round-up of What We Did, What We Ate, What We Watched and What We Read.

What We Did

Early in the month, I got my COVID booster shot. I went in at 3 p.m. on Friday, was in bed by 8 p.m. and slept till almost 7 a.m. the next day. I woke up,  read till 8:30 a.m., took 2 naps, and slept for another 10 hours that night. By Sunday I was back to normal. This was a huge difference from my first shot back in March, so I was pleased.

Phil took the kids to Central Market on the Saturday morning after I got my booster shot. In addition to the vegetables and fruit we needed for the week, he bought them coffee drinks and pastries. (!) The next Saturday, I asked if I could go with or if the kids wanted it to just be a dad thing. There was no strong feeling one way or the other, so we all went and had coffees and bagels or muffins. This has become a regular Saturday practice for us, at least until basketball games start.

Speaking of basketball, our son had his basketball evaluation. for the winter rec league season. He’s excited to get started.

Months ago, tickets went on sale for a local theater production called Emma, the Matchmaker. I had wanted to go the last time it was offered but wasn’t comfortable going by myself since Phil usually works on the nights it was offered. This time around, I decided to go for it because I’m trying to live my life the way I want to live it. I want to do the things I want to do while I have the chance. So, on a Friday night, I took myself on a date to this production staged in a late-18th-century plantation house. The audience followed the actors through four rooms and a hallway of the house, and it was delightful. Plus, Emma is my favorite of Jane Austen’s works because while I swoon for Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Knightley is the Austen hero I would choose to spend a life with. I’ve missed local theater. I love creativity in all forms. I needed to do this for me. 

Phil and I woke up at 3:45 one morning to go outside and see a lunar eclipse. It was cloudy but we caught small glimpses of the phenomenon. I love eclipses and celestial phenomena of all kinds. Worth it.

ExtraGive, Lancaster’s biggest day of giving. Every year, no matter what our financial state, we give to community organizations on this ginormous day of giving. It always restores my faith in humanity.

Saturday morning walk with Phil while the kids were at a rehearsal for church. We hadn’t been in the woods together since the incident at the end of September. We took a flat, paved path in a suburban neighborhood, but it was beautiful.  And it’s nice to have to time to finish a conversation without interruptions from a highly opinionated teenager and pre-teenager.

Youth service at church. Our kids participated in this annual event. I loved seeing their creativity come through.

An Outlander Celebration, online book release party for the 9th book in the Outlander series. I’ve only been an Outlander fan for a couple of years, but what I lack in longevity, I make up for with enthusiasm.

Haircuts. Long overdue. So fresh. I feel like a different person.

Turkey trot. I ran it by myself. It was my first in-person race in more than two years, and while I didn’t break any personal records, I was just glad to get out there and do it and finish. It was encouraging.

A Longwood Christmas at Longwood Gardens. We used our membership to attend this popular event on Thanksgiving Day. Maybe that wasn’t the best choice, but it was the day that had the most tickets available when we were looking. It’s a magical spectacle. Super crowded. But I’m glad we went.

On Black Friday, we headed to the Christmas tree farm to cut down our tree for the year. This is the first time in years that we’ve gone to the farm to cut down a tree. 

We had friends over for dinner during our long break for Thanksgiving. We played a couple of board games/card games–CodeNames and Icons–after dinner. It was a fun reminder that we love to have people in our house and should do more of that.

Braces. Our daughter got braces on the last day of our Thanksgiving break. She’s the first in our family to have them, and the first few days were a rough ride. It’s going to be a long year.

And on the very last day of the month, Phil started his new job. What a long six weeks it was.

What We Ate

Soup! It’s at least a once-a-week menu item in the fall and winter. This month we made: Butternut squash soup. Egg drop soup. and Ham and bean soup. 

Squash bread. Phil made his signature bread to take as our snack offering for small group, and our friends ate it up without asking questions. 🙂

Fish pie. I keep forgetting to take pictures of our food because we eat it when it’s hot. This is like chicken pot pie or shepherd’s pie, but with fish as the meat.

This amazing breakfast sandwich from Farm2Table at Lancaster Central Market. I wasn’t feeling bagels when we went the Saturday before Thanksgiving. A good breakfast sandwich is my jam.

Klondike bars. For nostalgia and introducing the kids to treats of yesteryear.

Salted caramel pop-tarts. Um, what? These are better than I expected. Phil bought pop-tarts as breakfast treat for Thanksgiving morning.

Thanksgiving Day: Baltimore pit beef sandwiches, fingerling potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin bars (our go-to fall dessert). We don’t always do the traditional turkey on Thanksgiving, especially if it’s just going to be the four of us.

But, on the day after Thanksgiving, we did do a more traditional meal: smoked turkey breast, homemade stuffing, mashed purple sweet potatoes, maple-mustard glazed brussels sprouts. All delish.

For our dinner guests, we made Swedish meatballs from a recipe my aunt gave me years ago. Yum.

What We Watched

LegoMasters. We finished. Whew. What a ride. 

Saturday Night Live clips. Small doses of television guaranteed to make me laugh. I have loved sketch comedy for most of my life.

Kim’s Convenience. A few episodes here and there.

What If …? Episodes 3, 4 and 5 were hard to watch. But we finished the series and feel pretty good about how it ended.

Grantchester. 

Jungle Cruise. A bit hokey. Some good jokes. Plus THE ROCK. I had some issues with the ending, but it’s Disney, so I guess I can’t really expect anything different.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Our son is a member of the 6th-grade safety patrol for his bus, so we often call him a bus cop. We thought it was necessary for him to see this movie. It did not disappoint for him.

Over the Hedge. This was another one for our son’s sake because he’s like Hammy the Squirrel. We had lots of laughs.

The World According to Jeff Goldblum. Phil and I found this series on Disney Plus and it’s delightful because Jeff Goldblum is quirky, curious and childlike.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. Okay, this might be my all-time favorite Marvel movie. And it’s hard to go back to watching Simu Liu in Kim’s Convenience after seeing him in this

What We Read

Jesus and John Wayne, book club, continued. We got so tired of talking about the same things every week that we finally decided to just finish the book once and for all and talk about it once. I finished it. I need a spiritual palate cleanser now because I just feel icky.

Death by Water by Kerry Greenwood. More Phryne Fisher. I won’t apologize.

Evil Spy School by Stuart Gibbs. I love reading this series together with my kids, and I enjoy the story and characters, too.

Darius the Great is Not Okay by Adib Khorram. I bought this one at a book fair last year. The main character is an American-born high school boy with Persian parents. They have to make a trip to Iran to visit family. Darius wrestles with his identity as a “fractional Persian”–his mom was born in Iran, his dad is American, he was born in America–and it’s honest and compelling. 

Temptation Ridge by Robyn Carr. Yep, it’s back to Virgin River for me. I want to keep knowing about the characters but some of the writing is starting to annoy me. How long until the series returns on Netflix?

A Rogue of One’s Own by Evie Dunmore. Book 2 in the League of Extraordinary Women series.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. This is one of those “classics” I missed. I love YA literature because of the way its authors write POV. I underlined some things in this one that I absolutely loved. I understand there are some personal issues with the author. Still, I think this is a valuable read.

Portrait of a Scotsman by Evie Dunmore. Book 3 in the League of Extraordinary Women series. This one was my favorite. This whole series is so unique and compelling.

The Beautiful Mystery by Louise Penny. Another unforgettable Inspector Gamache novel. Usually I take some time before grabbing the next one in the series, but the way this one ended had me checking out the next one immediately from the library.

Paradise Valley by Robyn Carr. Okay, I might need a break from the Virgin River book series.

Spy Ski School by Stuart Gibbs. We started this one at the end of the month.