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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

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When love shows up and won’t let go

January 29, 2016

“What’s your address? Don’t ask any questions! I’m working on something.”

A few days into my forced bedrest because of muscle spasms in my back, a friend sent me this message on Facebook. Little did I know at the time that the “something” she was working on was meals for my family while I’m incapacitated as well as arranging for someone to do our laundry. (I declined the latter. Judge me, if you will, but I’m particular about who sees and touches my dirty clothes.)

Two of the meals (and to clarify, one of the “meals” was three meals!) were made and delivered by people I’ve never met, and the friend who arranged this act of love drove herself almost an hour from her house to mine. (I should also mention that this friend and I have only seen each other in person one time before this, at a weekend retreat years ago. But we’re all over the Facebook universe.)

Who does that?

I asked my husband this more than once.

This was not the only way we were loved that week.

Who goes out, on purpose, on the coldest day of winter to bring food to a family?

Who spends their day off making a meal for others?

Who offers to bring soup when they’ve got a houseful of kids to care for, too?

Who shows up on less than an hour’s notice to care for two rowdy kids and help an overwhelmed husband walk his wife to the car while she cries out in agony on the way to the chiropractor?

****

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“Do you have difficulty receiving good things?”

This question from my therapist haunts me. It’s been months since she asked it, and I’m still mulling the answer.

It’s complicated.

I’ve long believed I only deserve something if I’ve earned it, and I’ve forever rationalized my family’s love with, “Well, they’re just doing that because they have to.”

Can you imagine living like this? Never believing anyone could love you whether you did anything or not?

I can’t identify the source of this erroneous thinking. All I know is I’ve been feeling this way about God, too. Somewhere along the way, I stopped believing He is good and that He loves me.

****

And then, when I was utterly helpless, love showed up.

When my therapist walked me to my car because I could hardly stand without pain.

When my husband left work early two days in a row to help me.

When my kids spent their four-day weekend cooped up in the house with me, bringing me food and learning to do laundry.

When my husband would come home from work, exhausted, and turn up the tunes to wash dishes with the kids.

When the snow fell for 24 hours straight and he shoveled the driveway and took the kids out to build a fort.

When the meals poured in from unexpected sources.

All of these actions screamed a message I couldn’t ignore:

You are loved.

You are loved.

You are loved.

I don’t have to earn it. The best kind of love isn’t earned. It is given over and over again.

I am loved. Even when I am stuck in bed and my house is a mess and I’ve binge-watched Gilmore Girls for weeks.

I am loved. Period. End of story.

And so are you.

What keeps you from believing it?

Filed Under: faith & spirituality, Marriage Tagged With: church, family, illness, love

Fighting for life

January 26, 2016

I’m averaging a good cry about once a day for the last two weeks. When I “discovered” a back injury two Wednesdays ago and have since been mostly confined to my bed while my children and husband fetch things for me, I have had some good sobbing fits, mostly feeling sorry for myself and how awful it must be for my husband to have to take care of me. I have cried when he washes dishes and plays with the children and when he looks so tired from work and then home-work and then caring for me. I have cried for my own pitiful self and this body that is not working properly (and I’m blaming myself for not taking care better of me, as if by feats of will and strength I could have prevented any pain or suffering from happening to me ever).

I have let the tears flow so much that my explanations to the children of why I cannot get up and help them have been followed by my son’s seemingly uncaring response: “I know. And you’re probably gonna cry about it now.” (He’s 6. And logical. Mostly.)

I am embarrassed, sometimes by my tears and the pity I feel at my awful situation and how frustrated I am to be so dependent on others. After two weeks, I am walking without help again and doing most things for myself, and today, I almost forgot that I’d had a back injury, except for the way my body flinches a little if I try to take it too fast.

It is times like these that I wonder if I actually have any fight in me. When the going gets tough, I don’t even want to get going. I just want to curl up under the covers and cry until the going goes away.

****

A few months ago, I read The Martian. I’ve yet to see the movie and I wasn’t sure I’d like the book, but one page was all it took. Aside from the humor in the writing and the unique setting (Mars), the story raised challenging questions about survival and how a person might live if facing certain and imminent death.

Stranded on Mars with limited supplies, would astronaut Mark Watney roll over and die, giving up from the start, or would he fight for his survival? (I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by suggesting it’s the latter. It would have been a short book otherwise.)

****

I think of the strong people I know,  those who have fought to overcome difficulties and disabilities for a chance at living.

I know a mom who is caring for a child she did not birth, whose first year of life was not as it should be. The child was kept alive but not given the chance to live. Over this child was spoken a lot of nevers. And yet with a mom willing to fight for a better life, this child, though delayed compared to others of the same age, is learning to live in the world. This child will hear and grow and speak and walk because someone was willing to fight for life.

I think of the man who always had two legs until the day a motorcycle accident caused him to lose part of one. And how he had to learn to walk again, except not on the two legs he was born with.

I think of a woman whose body is wracked with a dozen diseases, and she fights them with humor and joy, donning superhero costumes for chemo treatments. Her body is working against her but her spirit cannot be killed.

I think of the man caring for his young wife though her mind is not what it was. I hear the tired in his words, and I sense the fight wavering. Still, he presses on to bring her back to herself.

I hold these up not as evidence of superhumanity because they are flesh and blood like you and me. (And I cannot say for certain if they have had times of wanting to give up.)

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They are, to me, evidence of the difference between being alive and living.

“Alive” and “living” are not necessarily  the same thing. We can be technically alive in our bodies and not be living. Even in the face of death, disability or suffering, we can fight for a better life.

****

Healing is a slow process.

I know there are stories of instant healings, of a touch or a prayer bringing long-awaited relief, but those often seem the exception. Most healing I’ve encountered is slow, steady, labor. Hard work. Endurance.

It is frustrating and riddled with setbacks. Progress isn’t always measured the way we would like.

As I lay on my back these last 12 days, I have also cried about the slowness of my healing. But my body didn’t break down in a day so how could I expect healing to come quickly?

It is scary, sometimes, the slow healing. Because when you’re flat on your back for so long, you begin to wonder if you’ll ever get back up.

Isn’t it sometimes easier just to stay down?

****

Do your stretches. Walk past the bathroom to the kitchen first. Don’t overdo it. It’s OK to rest.

These are the kinds of encouragement I heard while I was down. And while I’m frustrated to have “lost” two weeks of productive life (I should put that in quotes, too), who’s to say these days haven’t been profitable?

I have spent more time with the kids. I’ve had to let people help me. I’ve read a lot. I’ve gotten hooked on a new show. (Okay, maybe that’s not exactly profitable.) I’ve listened. And waited.

In the past, I have tied my value as a person to what I do. How busy I am or how many things I can cross off a list in a day. These two weeks have reminded me that the value of a life is not in what a person does but in who she is.

Profitable, indeed.

Filed Under: faith & spirituality Tagged With: back injury, healing, health issues, living, suffering

The glory of Gilmore Girls

January 21, 2016

I don’t think it will come as a surprise that I am rarely on the cutting edge of culture. Let’s face it. This post is about a television show that debuted 15 or so years ago and I am just now watching it. The statute of limitations on spoilers has long since passed. (Exhibit B: I’m still working my way through the Harry Potter books. Just try to be alive and avoid spoilers from that!)

To be honest, I wasn’t sure I wanted to jump on this bandwagon, but enough friends from different circles of life really like the show, so I dived in.

And then my back started spasming and I had to rest for more than a week so I alternated binge-watching Gilmore Girls and reading books.

I’m well into the third season, totally in love and full of observations. Here are some. (Feel free to comment but help me avoid spoilers!)

What is with the unusually large coffee mugs at Luke’s? They’re like soup bowls with handles, they never look full and neither one of the girls ever seems to finish an entire mug.

How do they eat so much food and stay so thin? Is it all the talking? Pizza, burgers, Chinese take out. I appreciate a healthy appetite in women but seriously, those two should each have gained 50 pounds by now!

Paris. Ugh. I can’t stand her intensity.

Michel. Best. French sarcasm makes me laugh.

Sookie. A close second. Which is surprising because I have not been a fan of Melissa McCarthy in the past.

The town troubadour. … I’m confused. But I like it. I think.

I’m officially a fan. Where do I sign up for the club?

Filed Under: entertainment, women Tagged With: Gilmore girls

A northern lighthouse adventure: Review of Undaunted Hope by Jody Hedlund

January 13, 2016

When Tessa Taylor shows up in Eagle Harbor, Michigan, to take on the role of teacher in the copper mining community, her gender causes a stir, and not just because the town was expecting a male teacher. Tessa’s quick wit catches the notice of assistant lightkeeper Alex Bjorklund, and her compassionate care makes her the object of affection of two of her students, who think she would be good for their widower father. When the men begin to compete for her affection, Tessa doesn’t know what to do. She came to Eagle Harbor for a fresh start from her past. But will it catch up with her?

Undaunted-Hope coverAll you really need to know about Undaunted Hope is that Jody Hedlund wrote it. (You know my love for this author by now, right?) And it’s set on the shores of Lake Superior on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Even the descriptions of the frigid winter days were appealing. But probably only in my imagination. (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book in exchange for my review.)

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The real lighthouse in Eagle Harbor | Photo by Jody Hedlund

I generally love whatever Jody Hedlund writes, and these lighthouse books have been a great combination of interesting settings and compelling characters. In this one, I liked the banter between Tessa and Alex. It made me smile. And Tessa’s passion for her students and the betterment of the community drives her commitment to stay even when faced with obstacles. And with her usual skill, Hedlund orchestrates circumstances that force Tessa to face her greatest fears and decide if love is worth any cost.

While it’s the third in the Beacons of Hope series, and there is a thread to flows through the books, it stands on its own. If you haven’t read the others (and why haven’t you?), you won’t be lost. But in case you do want to read them and know more about them, you can find out more here and here.

I loved seeing pictures of the real lighthouse, and Hedlund always includes some background information on the real setting of her book and the ways in which she deviated from history. She has a unique way of giving historical events such life that it feels like you’re there. And her words are inspiring, evoking emotion and reflection. I appreciate that Hedlund is willing to put her characters through difficulty so they can discover a truer sense of purpose and self and experience greater trust in God.

As always, I look forward to the next one in the series. (There’s a clue in each book about who the next heroine will be.)

Undaunted Hope quote graphic

Filed Under: books, Fiction, The Weekly Read Tagged With: bethany house, jody hedlund, lake superior, lighthouses, undaunted hope, upper peninsula michigan

The gospel of kale

January 12, 2016

I’ve lost count of the number of meals I’ve eaten in the last week that contained kale. There was a salmon fillet over kale for dinner one night, and then a couple of days of smoothies with kale and strawberries. There was a kale breakfast salad I ate for lunch one day, and a kale salad with beans mixed in a jar for lunch another day.

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It might sound like I’ve gone kale crazy, and before you think I’m some kind of healthy food fanatic, let me be clear: I have avoided the idea of kale and other health food for a lot of years. Before this week, you probably could have even called me a kale skeptic.

But in one grocery shopping trip, I not only bought kale, but swiss chard, too! So many greens! And the kale was more than I needed for one recipe, so I had to do something with it. Waste not, want not and all of that.

Read the rest of this post over at Putting on the New, where I write on the 12th of each month.

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Filed Under: faith & spirituality, food Tagged With: healthy eating, kale, putting on the new

Did you know? Gone With the Wind edition {And a chance to win a book!}

January 7, 2016

Yesterday, I told you about a new book from Susan Meissner, set around the movie Gone With the Wind and featuring a famous costume piece from the movie–the hat that accompanies the green curtain dress.

To go along with the release of the book, Susan provided some trivia about the dress. I learned some fascinating details, so I share them with you today! And keep reading for a chance to win a signed copy of Susan’s new book, Stars Over Sunset Boulevard. Q&ACurtaindress

  • Peggy Marsh (aka Margaret Mitchell) was inspired by her own great-grandmother’s elaborate curtains when she wrote the curtain-dress scene. According to the story passed down through the family, Peggy’s great-grandmother’s velvet drapes still hung in her home after the hell of the Civil War; one of a few remnants of the house’s lingering dignity.
  • Did you know that a dress and hat made from curtains for that time in history wasn’t so far off the mark? Post-war Southern women were known to fashion pins from thorns and buttons from walnuts.
  • Costume director Walter Plunkett knew that real drapes would be bleached from constant exposure to the sun, and he endeavored to re-create that look for Scarlett’s curtain dress, but the color saturation of Technicolor film was too intense and the fabric didn’t come across faded in the movie.
  • In the novel Gone with the Wind, Scarlett’s green eyes are one of her most intriguing features. Vivien Leigh’s eyes were blue, however, so the producers used a combination of green clothes and camera filters to make her eyes appear green in close-ups.
  • According to the book The Art of Gone with the Wind by Judy Cameron, the price tag for the curtain dress and the two hats (one was a back-up) was nearly five hundred dollars; far more than the $300 needed to pay the taxes on Tara! In today’s economy that would be close to nine thousand dollars.
  • More than 2,500 costumes were made just for the female performers and extras. The entire budget for Gone with the Wind in 1939 was $4 million – the costumes alone would cost close to than $3 million today.
  • While Gone with the Wind pretty much swept the 1940 Academy Awards, costume designer Walter Plunkett didn’t win one, but that’s only because there wasn’t an Oscar for Costume Design until 1948. Plunkett finally won his long-overdue honor in 1951 for An American in Paris.
  • When The University of Texas acquired the famed curtain-dress, as well as other GWTW costumes and memorabilia in the late 1980s, it was so damaged restorers weren’t sure it would ever be on exhibit. The University raised $30,000 to restore the curtain-dress and other GWTW dresses.
  • The dress Carol Burnett wore in her “Went with the Wind” 1976 parody is on exhibit in the Smithsonian – curtain rod and all.

SOSB_NEW_Final.inddWant to win your own copy of Stars Over Sunset Boulevard? Then, tell me one of the following things in the comments and I’ll enter your name in a random drawing. Don’t forget to provide an e-mail address so I can contact you if you win! (Open to U.S. and Canadian residents only.)

If you’re a fan of Gone With the Wind, what’s your favorite line/scene from the movie? What captures your attention from the story?

If you’ve never seen the movie, what other classic film is your favorite, and why?

I’ll take entries until the end of the day on Monday, January 11, when I’ll pick a winner.

Filed Under: books, Fiction, giveaways, The Weekly Read Tagged With: gone with the wind trivia, stars over sunset boulevard, susan meissner

Behind the scenes of a classic movie: Review of Stars Over Sunset Boulevard by Susan Meissner

January 6, 2016

I don’t know what it is about Gone With the Wind–the movie, the book, the memorabilia–that draws me, but the story has been one of my favorites for as long as I can remember.

So, when a favorite author–Susan Meissner–wrote a book set on the set of the movie Gone With the Wind, with a plot point about a missing costume piece–the hat from the famous green curtain dress ensemble–I was beyond excited. (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book in exchange for my review.)

SOSB_NEW_Final.inddAnd some of my favorite parts of Stars Over Sunset Boulevard were the behind-the-scenes chapters on the set of Gone With the Wind, where Violet Mayfield ends up working after moving to Los Angeles for a fresh start. She meets an unlikely friend and roommate in Audrey Duvall, who was on the cusp of stardom before movies had sound. The two women forge their way toward their dreams, until what they both want comes into conflict.

Much of the book is set in the past, but as is Meissner’s style, it contains a contemporary thread. The lost hat ends up in a vintage clothing store by mistake, and the owner, Christine, sets out to return it to its owner and discover its origins. It’s an entertaining journey sparked by a “what if?” question and answered with imagination. Had this book been set on around other movie, I don’t know if I would have enjoyed it as much. I’ve never been to Hollywood nor am I well-versed in classic films. But I do enjoy the history of film-making, and it was fun to let myself be transported to an era that is a far cry from today’s Hollywood. And there is some appeal to the glitz and glam of that time.

Stars Over Sunset Boulevard is a story of friendship and the cost of following your dreams. It’s a powerful reminder that simple choices can change the future, and friendships can endure for decades.

I enjoy knowing more about the author’s motivation and process for a book like this, especially. Read on for a Q&A with Susan Meissner! MeissnerHeadshotnew

Susan Meissner is the multi-published author of eighteen books, including Secrets of a Charmed Life, a 2015 Goodreads Choice Award finalist, and A Fall of Marigolds, named to Booklist’s Top Ten Women’s Fiction titles for 2014. She is also a speaker and writing workshop leader with a background in community journalism. She and her husband make their home in Southern California.

  1. Susan, tell us where the idea Stars over Sunset Boulevard came from.

I’ve only read Gone with the Wind once, but I’ve probably seen the movie a dozen times. There’s something about those characters, the cinematography, the costumes and that sound track that have always wooed me. I’ve wanted to set a story on the 1939 movie set of this film for a long time; I knew it would provide a detail-rich environment. Gone with the Wind is not very often described as being a story about friendship, but the more I’ve watched the film version, the more I’ve seen how complex Scarlett O’Hara and Melanie Hamilton’s relationship was. I long wanted to explore how these two characters seem to be polar opposites but are actually both fiercely loyal and unafraid of making hard choices to protect what they love. I knew I could use Scarlett and Melanie’s fictional friendship as a template for telling a story about two studio secretaries who, like Scarlett and Melanie, are not as different from each other as we might first think.

  1. What is the story about, in a nutshell?

Q&ACurtaindressChristine McAllister owns a vintage clothing store on West Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood. When the iconic curtain-dress hat worn by Vivien Leigh in Gone with the Wind ends up in her boutique by mistake, her efforts to return it to its owner takes the reader on a journey to the past. It’s 1938 and Violet Mayfield sets out to reinvent herself in Los Angeles after her dream of becoming a wife and mother falls apart. She lands a job on the film-set of Gone with the Wind and meets the enigmatic Audrey Duvall, a once-rising film star who is now a fellow secretary. Audrey’s zest for life and their adventures together among Hollywood’s glitterati enthrall Violet…until each woman’s deepest desires start to collide. What Audrey and Violet are willing to risk, for themselves and for each other, to ensure their own happy endings will shape their friendship, and their lives, far into the future.

  1. Is this a book about friendship, then?

Most definitely. I think friendship is the most remarkable of human relationships because it is completely voluntary. We choose our friends. There is no civil or legal code that demands we stay friends; no vows are spoken and no contracts are signed to be or remain in relationship with each other. And yet most of us have friends whom we love as deeply as those people we are legally and morally bound to. I know I have friends like that.  C.S. Lewis aptly describes friendship this way: “I have no duty to be anyone’s Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”  I love writing novels about relationships, and friendship is a relationship unlike any other.

  1. What is the significance of Scarlett’s curtain dress hat?

Scarlett’s curtain-dress hat is emblematic of what dire circumstances can lead someone to do when what she loves most is in danger of being lost. If you’re familiar with that scene in the movie, you know that Scarlett is in a place of decision when she pulls down her dead mother’s curtains so that she can dress the part of being someone she is not. When we’re afraid of losing what we treasure most, we sometimes choose to do things that we would never do in an ordinary situation. I don’t think it’s any accident that that hat is part rich velvet and gold braid and part barnyard rooster feathers. It’s an amalgam of Scarlett’s strength and her weakness. She will do what no one else will do because of how afraid she is of losing everything.

Q&Amovieset2

  1. What were you most surprised by most during the writing process for this book?

Hollywood was like a dream factory in the 1930s and ‘40s. It was a place that produced in fantasy what people imagined life could be like after the horrors of the First World War and the demoralizing years of the Depression. The Golden Age of Hollywood was a chance to indulge again in beauty and wonderment. This era also interests me because Hollywood’s Golden Years ended so suddenly and without any warning. After World War II, most in Hollywood thought they could just pick up where they left off before the war started. But the arrival of television just a few years later changed everything. The beginning of WWII was actually the beginning of the end of Hollywood’s Golden Age. No one saw it coming. I also didn’t fully appreciate how much easier it is to write a book in which the setting is hostile! I wrote SECRETS OF A CHARMED LIFE against the backdrop of World War II. A FALL OF MARIGOLDS employed the historical Triangle Shirtwaist Fire as well as 9/11 as settings. Hollywood in its heyday was a glamorous and benevolent location, so all of my tension had to come from within the characters. Yikes! I had forgotten how helpful it is to have a setting provide some of the angst.

  1. What would you especially like readers to take away from Stars over Sunset Boulevard?

I hope the theme that will resonate most is that love and fear can sometimes feel the same, though they influence our choices differently. When I have a decision to make that involves another person, fear often motivates me to choose what’s best for me. But love motivates me to choose what is best for the other person. Fear urges me to hang on to what is mine, while love can actually lead me to let go. My hoped-for takeaway from the novel is the idea that when you hold something you love tightly to your chest for fear of losing it, you actually risk crushing it.

  1. What are you working on right now?

I am two-thirds through the book I am writing next, which is tentatively titled A BRIDGE ACROSS THE OCEAN. One of its key settings is the HMS Queen Mary during one of its many GI war brides crossings. The Queen is such a perfect place to set a story, because she has such a marvelous past. She started out as a luxury liner, was remade into a troop carrier during the war, and has been a floating hotel here in California since 1967. She is also fabled to be haunted by numerous ghosts, a detail I simply cannot ignore. So there will be a ghost or two in this next book! This story thematically, though, is about is about three female characters, two of whom are war brides who meet on the Queen Mary in 1946. The current-day character, Brette, has the family gift of being able to see ghosts though she very much wishes she couldn’t. She also doesn’t want to pass along that hereditary gift to a child but her husband is anxious to start their family. All three characters will face a bridge they need to cross where the other side is hidden from their view. The concept of a bridge across the ocean–which seems impossible–speaks to how difficult it is to go from one place to another when you can’t see what awaits you. This book will release in 2017.

It’s always a pleasure to “talk” with Susan about her writing! I hope you’ll check out Stars Over Sunset Boulevard! Come back tomorrow, Jan. 7, for a chance to win your own copy!

This post contains an affiliate link.

Filed Under: books, Fiction, The Weekly Read Tagged With: curtain dress, friendship, golden age of hollywood, gone with the wind, susan meissner

Books I’m glad I read {A 2015 year in review}

December 31, 2015

I’m usually a lot better about telling you about the fantastic books I’m reading throughout the year. If you’ve missed that, never fear. It looks like I only posted an update in April, instead of three or four times, like I have in years past. And honestly, I wasn’t really thinking about posting a year-in-review for reading until a friend posted his list and said he was looking forward to mine! (Thanks for the motivation, Dave!)

Plus, it’s nice to go back and take a look at the books I’ve read this year and pick a few favorites. According to Goodreads, I finished 92 books this year, which is both an impressive number and slightly disappointing. As much reading as I do, I feel like it should be closer to 100. And in years past, it has. But I think some of those books in previous years were kids’ books I added because we had read them together.

So, 92 books, and I’m going to pick a few favorites. I will admit that it was a stranger year for reading for me. I ventured outside my usual genres, revisited some old friends, and spent a month reading mostly books about Africa after we went to Kenya.

In no particular order, here are some of my favorites from this year:

Fiction: 

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty is one of the most clever and engaging storylines I’ve ever encountered and raised  thought-provoking questions.

Circling the Sun by Paula McLain was part of my post-Africa binge reading. Based on the true story of Beryl Markham’s life, the story kept me turning pages and longing to return to Kenya.circling the sun

The Girl from the Train by Irma Joubert. I didn’t know this book existed until it showed up on my doorstep as part of a fiction street team I joined. It’s a unique story of World War 2 and beyond and surprised me at every turn of the page.

The Martian by Andy Weir. After hearing an NPR segment about the movie and the real-life quest to put people on Mars, this book intrigued me. So well written and funny. (Language warning.)

Revival by Stephen King. It’s been decades since I read anything by King. He used to be my favorite author, even when he was freaking me out. This story is no exception, but it contains themes I love for King to address: religion, life and death, grief, addiction. It was a bizarre book, but it reminded me of so many reasons I admire King’s writing.

Best series: Two of the three books in The Song of Seare series by Carla Laureano released last year, and finishing the third one almost killed me. I hate to see a good series end, and when it ends well and unexpectedly, well, that’s even worse. Or better. I still haven’t decided. If you like the kind of fantasy that spins a tale of good and evil with magic, swords and an almost-Celtic nation with its own made up language, then this one is not to be missed.

Non-fiction:

accidental saintsAccidental Saints by Nadia Bolz-Weber is a top candidate for my favorite book all year. She writes about faith in the context of community in a real and challenging way. I would read her stories again and again and be challenged in new ways each time. (Another language warning.)

Bandersnatch by Erika Morrison. I squeaked this one in just this week and haven’t had the chance to write a full review yet, so you get a sneak peek! If you’ve ever wondered if you’re weird or if God made a mistake when He gave you certain gifts or inclinations, then read this book and feel like you belong to a collective group of weirdos who are all working toward a coming kingdom in their own unique ways.

Coming Clean by Seth Haines. It looks like a book about alcoholism. It’s not. It’s a book about addiction. Every kind of addiction, whether we recognize our vices as such or not. And it’s a book about uncovering the pain we’re avoiding with our addictions and how we can step into the light.

Two-Part Invention by Madeleine L’Engle. Part memoir, part marriage book. And it’s Madeleine L’Engle, so really, that’s all you need to know.

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. I’m in awe of Hillenbrand’s writing and research process and the story she tells that reads better than some novels. She had great material to work with in the life of Louis Zamperini, but oh, what a story.

Food: A Love Story by Jim Gaffigan. One of the only books to ever make me laugh out loud as I’m reading it. I think I was in danger of spitting food or drink all over the library copy I was reading. Food + comedy = perfection.

Yes, Please by Amy Poehler. More than just a memoir by a famous person, I found this book to be an empowering read for creative women. Poehler tells stories from her SNL days and beyond, but she also encourages people, women especially, to go after their creative dreams.

So, like I said, it’s a bit of a crazy list, what rises to the top this year. If you’re curious about my reading habits, you can check out my weekly reviews here or follow me over on Goodreads.

I’m looking forward to more great reads in 2016. What tops your list this year?

Filed Under: books Tagged With: amy poehler, best of 2015, books, books about africa, erika morrison, favorite books, goodreads, jim gaffigan, laura hillenbrand, madeleine l'engle, nadia bolz-weber, revival, seth haines, stephen king, the martian, year in review reading

Timeless love, family secrets & vacant chapel: Review of The Wedding Chapel by Rachel Hauck

December 30, 2015

When a wedding chapel in a rural Tennessee town no one knows about is discovered by an architecture magazine, the secrets it holds begin to be revealed. Sixty years prior, a man in love built the chapel for the woman he intended to marry. Then he was sent away to war and forces intervened to keep them apart. Now the chapel  is the gateway to love rekindled for two couples who are bound by more than they know.

wedding chapelThe Wedding Chapel by Rachel Hauck is an endearing story set across decades, with similarities to the popular Nicholas Sparks book The Notebook (but so much better, in my opinion). (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher in exchange for my review.)

Hauck delivers in-depth characters in retired football hall of famer Jimmy Westbrook and soap opera star Colette Greer,  now both in their 80s, whose lives have been separated by misunderstanding and unforgiveness. And the spontaneous and fledgling love between Taylor Branson and Jack Forester, who reconnected in New York after growing up in the same Tennessee town, is gut-wrenchingly realistic. I was drawn into each character’s point of view individually, and was moved by the journey each one takes to heal from past hurts.

Hauck weaves the storylines seamlessly and creates the right amount of drama to keep the pages turning. This story of hope, love, forgiveness and reconciliation is a must-read for romance readers.

Filed Under: Fiction, The Weekly Read Tagged With: family stories, rachel hauck, reconciliation, secrets, wedding chapel, young love

A gift to myself

December 28, 2015

It’s been a few years since I stumbled onto the OneWord365 movement, and while I was skeptical at first about its transformative possibilities, I’m a solid believer that focusing on one word for an entire year can change you.

It’s not magic, really. Or maybe it is a little bit magical. But I find that if I reflect on my life closely, I can see a theme emerge. I’ve yet to approach a new year without some idea of a word for the following year. It’s the same this year. The word found me, and I can’t wait to see where it leads.

—

A few months ago, I heard a sermon at church about Mary and Martha. We are reading through the book of Luke and discovering the way of Jesus, sometimes looking at familiar stories in fresh ways.

When I saw it was Mary and Martha’s turn, I felt my defenses rise. If you don’t know about the story, here’s a summary: Mary and Martha are sisters who lived in Bethany in Judea. Jesus and his disciples come to visit. Mary sits at Jesus’ feet listening to his teaching. Martha scurries around the house getting things ready. She gets upset that her sister isn’t helping and tells Jesus to do something about it. Jesus acknowledges her worries and tells her that Mary has chosen better. (You can read the story here.)

See, I always get a little protective of Martha. She’s just trying to feed people! And really, she’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t, right? Sure, she could sit and listen to Jesus but eventually someone would complain that there wasn’t any food ready. And while she’s rushing around getting food ready, she’s being scolded for worrying! What the heck, Jesus.

That’s my first reaction, anyway, but when I sit with the passage a little more, I see something else happening here. Jesus isn’t telling Martha to not fix the food. He’s speaking to her attitude. And it’s not simply that she’s ungrateful or demanding her sister help. I think it’s something else.

I get Martha’s behavior because I am the same. I want to make sure everything’s ready and prepared just so and there’s no time for sitting and visiting when there’s food to attend to! I think Martha could have sat down with Mary and the disciples but her mind wouldn’t really have been there. Even if her body was sitting still, her mind would be moving.

I’m no Bible scholar, but what if Jesus was asking Martha to enjoy the moment instead of missing it?

—

Earlier this year, I had the chance to give up my phone for a time. It was not my choice, but it taught me a lot of things. One that I’m still pondering is: what am I missing when I check out of life?

Because I do it. All the time. I read books to avoid reality. I crack a joke when life gets too uncomfortable or overwhelming. I scan my phone for Facebook updates for stretches of time I can’t really account for. All the while, life moves on around me, and I’m missing it.

When we were in Kenya, I felt things and saw things and experienced things in a way I had not in a long time. And I read a book this year about addiction that made me wonder what pain I’m covering up or avoiding by distracting myself from life.

A few weeks ago, I had to have a HIDA scan at the hospital. For 48 minutes, I had to lie still with nothing to watch or look at. Some friends said they had had access to a TV during those scans, but I was left with my thoughts and the ceiling of a medical room. I closed my eyes. I let the tears fall because it was terrifying to be alone in the basement of a hospital with nuclear medicine coursing through your veins while a machine took pictures of your insides. I cried. And prayed. And recited what little Scripture I have committed to memory. I was forced to feel the emotional pain instead of being distracted by a movie or show.

I expected distraction because that’s what we do, right? My kids go to the dentist and they get to watch cartoons while the hygienist works in their mouths. Waiting rooms are filled with TVs and magazines, and if any of those things are lacking, then thank God for smartphones. We can watch and scroll and check out of the real life world around us. We don’t have to talk to anyone or be alone with our thoughts. I wonder if we even know what we think anymore because we don’t give ourselves time to let our minds wander. (I am guilty, too, so please do not take this as judgment or condemnation.)

There has to be a different way. A better way. ow_250x250_present

So, in 2016, I’m giving myself a gift. My word for the year is present because I want to share more than the physical space around me with people. I want to be all there. I want to listen to my kids read and play games with them. I want to notice the world around me. I want to feel whatever I’m feeling without the benefit of distraction. Even if it hurts. I don’t exactly know how this is going to play out. I never really do.

But here’s what I know so far:

My phone is going to have a landing spot in the house. It does not have to be on or near me all the time, and when my kids are home, I’m going to limit its use.

I’m going to read less fiction next year. If you know anything about me, you know how much I love to read, and I think stories are wonderful and an effective means of communicating truth. But too often, I use fiction as a distraction from my real life. Non-fiction forces me to think and contemplate and ask questions. Fiction is sometimes an escape. I’m not ready to give it up completely, even for a year, but I am going to give up fiction for Lent. During those weeks, I will read non-fiction or nothing. It will be a difficult form of detox for me.

I will take one day at a time. I’m the sort of person who is always thinking about the next thing. “When we’re finished with this, then we’re going to do this.” It’s not necessarily bad, but I find myself thinking about tomorrow before today is even finished. I like to plan, and I still will. But I’m going to make an effort to enjoy what is happening in the moment instead of focusing on the next task at hand.

Present.

I believe it will be a gift, even if it takes a while to untangle myself from the shiny wrappings of distraction. I hope you’ll stick around on the journey and see where it leads.

Will you consider your own “One Word” for the year? You can get started here.

Filed Under: One Word 365 Tagged With: being present, distraction, mary and martha of bethany, oneword365

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Hi. I’m Lisa, and I’m glad you’re here. If we were meeting in real life, I’d offer you something to eat or drink while we sat on the porch letting the conversation wander as it does. That’s a little bit what this space is like. We talk about books and family and travel and food and running, whatever I might encounter in world. I’m looking for the beauty in the midst of it all, even the tough stuff. (You’ll find a lot of that here, too.) Thanks for stopping by. Stay as long as you like.

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