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The kind of teaching that's so good it's almost scary: Review of Restless DVD-based study by Jennie Allen

Last week I wrote about my experience reading the book Restless by Jennie Allen. In the same amount of time it took me to read it, the DVD study kit has been sitting on my desk (or has been passing back and forth between me and a friend, who is leading our book club discussion). Finally, I had a chance to sit down and watch a few sessions and look over the material. (Disclaimer: I received a free DVD kit from the publisher through Shelton Interactive in exchange for my review.)

Since it’s designed for group use, it’s hard for me to give a fully accurate review, but I have some overall impressions, the first of which is: Uh-mazing.

If I thought Jennie’s passion transferred from the page to the reader, then I hadn’t seen the half of it. In front of a group of women, Jennie comes alive and, girlfriends, she can preach. She nearly had me in tears just by hearing her talk.

The kit includes an 8-session DVD, a leader guide, an individual study guide and a box of question cards (which I personally found to be an intriguing aspect of the kit).

restless DVD

The study is similar in structure to Beth Moore’s DVD studies, if you’re familiar with those. The workbook is designed for personal use throughout the week and the DVD sessions and question cards are meant to be used in a group setting.

And can I just say that this whole journey of discovery found in Restless–whether the book or the video teaching–is ridiculously scary because it’s so personal and important. And I believe that Jennie Allen believes what she’s teaching–that we’re all meant for more in this life, that God will use our experiences (even the hard ones) for His greater purposes and that we just might find ourselves in the middle of a big adventure if we allow God to show us what He’s up to. It’s one of those times that I’m almost afraid to go too deep because I might drown in the importance of it all.

I want to soak in this teaching, dig into my own experiences and uncover the connection between who God made me and what I can do in this world for Him.

If you’re looking for a group study for your church, I’d give this one an enthusiastic recommendation. And if you’ve been through it with a group or decide to do it, I’d love to hear what you think! Just be warned: there’s no skimming the surface here, unless that’s all you want to get out of it. Be prepared to do some honest digging into your life. I don’t think you’ll regret it.

When life throws a curve: Review of Meant to Be Mine by Becky Wade

What if an impulsive decision changed your life forever?

meant to be mineCelia Park has had a thing for Ty Porter since high school and when their paths cross in Las Vegas, the spark is still there. After four unbelievable days of a Vegas-style romance, Celia and Ty end up at a wedding chapel for an equally Vegas-style wedding. In the morning, Celia wakes up with no regrets; Ty, on the other hand, has nothing but. Their dream relationship ends after four days and the two part ways. Five and a half years later, they’re still married though they haven’t seen each other all that time. Circumstances force Ty to find Celia and he finds more than his in-name-only wife–he finds Celia raising a daughter, his daughter, alone.

Meant to Be Mine by Becky Wade is the story of Celia and Ty’s relationship as Celia learns to trust a man who broke her heart and Ty learns to live for something other than bull riding. (Disclaimer: I received a free e-copy of the book from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for my review.) It’s a sweet, funny, inspiring love story that mirrors the aches of the human heart for love and forgiveness.

Wade writes some of the best contemporary inspirational stories on the market today. I love her style of storytelling, especially in this book Celia’s spunk and Ty’s charm. You can almost hear the irresistible smile as he speaks. And the cover is just plain adorable and captures Celia’s personality perfectly.

If you’re stocking up on summer reading, add this one to your list. (And check out Becky’s other books, including the first in the Porter family series, Undeniably Yours.)

 

5 on Friday: kidisms

I don’t want to bore you with all the reasons my kids make me laugh, but it’s time for another installment of “Things My Kids Say That Make Me Laugh.”

kids picnic

 

Here are five of the recent gems.

  1. The kindergartener (like all other elementary school girls in the U.S.) belts out “Let it go, let it go…” (Frozen soundtrack, in case you live under a rock … and if you do, I might join you there). Her brother quips, “Let what go?” His comedic timing is perfect, even if it’s unintentional.
  2. They were playing together in another room when the kindergartener came running in: “Mom, Corban says I’m a tattle-taler and I’m not!” I had a hard time not laughing at her when she said it. I can’t wait till she understands irony.
  3. I spent two hours this week (in one day) coloring with my son. When our daughter came home from school and noticed the pictures, she said to me, “Did you color those?” I told her I did. She said, “Those are beautiful. Almost as beautiful as mine.” Um, thank you?
  4. We were talking about the plan for Saturday morning when my husband needed to drop me off at writers group, then come back and pick me up a few hours later before we took him to work. I mentioned there would be a funeral at the church so there might be a lot of cars. Our son immediately tuned in to the conversation: “Where’s the funeral? We’re going?” This made my husband and me laugh because earlier this spring we took our kids to two funerals in the span of a month. And to the four-year-old, it was no big deal that we might be going to a funeral. We’re so weird.
  5. And this same kid who used to be shy around people and new situations sits in the Chick-fil-A where my husband works and yells out “Hey, Matt!” and “Hey, Kim!” to my husband’s co-workers, even if they’re in the middle of a conversation. And it’s loud. And frequent. It’s hilarious. (Or not.)

Probably those were mostly “you had to be there” situations, but in case you have an active imagination and know our kids at all, you can get a good chuckle out of them.

Take your time with this one: Review of Restless by Jennie Allen

restlessIt’s the rare book that takes me two months to read, especially if I like it, but such was the case with Restless by Jennie Allen. Honestly, I’d gladly take six months or a year to read this book, so full is it of reflective questions and topics for deep thinking. Two months has felt like too fast for this book. (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book through the BookLook Bloggers program.)

And because it’s been hanging around for a while, and because summer is coming and we all want good books to read, and because it’s hitting me right where I live, I’m calling it a bonus book review on the blog this week. It won’t be light summer reading, but it might be life-changing summer reading.

Recently, I’ve told you about my restless feelings and about my journey as a writer. Both of those reflections were informed by reading Restless.

So, what is Restless? In short, it’s permission to dream. Whatever stage of life we find ourselves in, Jennie Allen encourages us to consider what we were made for. She takes readers through her own journey of discovering and rediscovering her calling in the midst of motherhood and gives us the opportunity to identify painful and meaningful experiences from our past. It was on those pages that I personally realized I’d always been a writer and that writing will be a constant in my life, no matter the other passions and pursuits I find myself exploring.

Restless is a uniquely personal journey for every reader. Our church’s book club has been reading through it, and the few times I’ve been part of those discussions, I can see that it has different meaning for everyone. (And not just for women in their 20s and 30s. Women of ALL ages can benefit from finding their purpose and passion.)

I love the way the author writes. It’s like chatting with a friend across a cafe table with coffee mugs in hand. I half expected her to reach through the pages and offer a hug like she said she wanted to do. Her words are authentic, real and challenging.

Toward the end of the book, she offers a letter from her husband to husbands about helping the women in their lives find their purpose and follow it. It was touching, and while I might hand it over to my husband to have him read it, I’m grateful that he is already on board with my passions.

So, if you pick this one up, don’t rush through it. Get a notebook and fill it with words and scribbles. Grab a friend and read it together and look over your threads, as Allen calls them, and dream together.

I think that’s what I love best about the book: its emphatic message that it’s okay to dream. Too often I think we, women, give up our dreams for our families or our families become our dreams. Sometimes that’s okay or it’s okay for a season, but for me, I know that discovering my passions and following them is a source of great fulfillment that carries over into my family. When I am doing what God made me to do, I’m a better wife and mom.

Restless confirms and encourages that, for any stage, any calling. It doesn’t discount the call to motherhood or serving families. It releases us to be whatever God made us to be.

And that, friends, is freeing.

Note: There’s also a video series available for Restless, and I have a copy to review that I haven’t had a chance to watch yet. Stay tuned for a separate review of that!

A good place to start but maybe not for everyone: Review of Modern Pioneering by Georgia Pellegrini

modern pioneeringModern Pioneering by Georgia Pellegrini promises recipes, survival skills and gardening tips, and it delivers on those promises. However, I had certain expectations for this book and I’m not sure they were met. This collection of recipes, projects and tips is like holding Pinterest in your hands, which is not a bad thing but can be a bit overwhelming. (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher through the  Blogging for Books program.)

The book is full of beautiful pictures and scrumptious-sounding recipes. But I felt like the author has an advantage over most of us in that she was raised to think this way so eating edible flowers or cooking with dandelion greens is nothing to her. For me, it would take some getting used to. Also, while learning how to eat from your backyard sounds frugal, some of the recipes include ingredients that are anything but frugal. Somewhat mixed messages.

However, I found a lot of useful tips for container gardening and what to grow for different spaces and ease of growing. For a beginner, which I totally am,  it’s a good resource, especially for gardening. Some of the other projects, however, sound fun and interesting but would require time and energy that some of us don’t have. (Make your own paper, anyone? It’ll only take days and require the use of a blender and your bathtub and dedicated space in your house.)

Overall, I’m glad for this book as a guide, and I will refer to it as I develop my homesteading skills, but I wouldn’t consider it a necessity for everyone at every stage of life.

For more about the book, click here.

To learn about the author, click here.

This one's for the single people

Phil and I have been married seven years today. The passing of a year whether an anniversary, birthday or the annual turning of the calendar makes me reflective. I had intended to write a post today about marriage and the “secret” to having a happy one (with the caveat, of course, that we have no idea because ours has had more ups and downs than a roller coaster).

But after a month of relationship sermons at our church and a discussion yesterday on singleness, I have other thoughts requiring a voice. I am fired up about single people, and if that’s you, I have a message for you. If it’s not you, I have a message for you, too. Because whether single or married, we have done singleness a disservice.

First, some background.

I had one boyfriend in college before a stretch of several years of singleness until I met my husband. Well, before I knew he would be my husband, anyway. From the time I was 19 until he and I started dating seven years later, I enjoyed a period of singleness. Unfortunately, I didn’t see it that way at the time. My 20s were filled with times of longing for relationship, especially when my best friends got married and started having children. I attended more weddings in that period of my life than I have since and my question was always, “When will it be my turn?” Even when my turn came, it didn’t come fast enough. We dated for a year, got engaged and then waited two years to get married because Phil was in the Army Reserve and was expecting to be deployed to Iraq for a year. We didn’t want to start our married life apart so we waited.

I’ve written before about marriage, how it wasn’t what I expected nor did it fulfill my every longing, so I won’t repeat those messages here.

What I haven’t written about is singleness. I don’t have a lot of single friends anymore, not because I don’t want them but because I’ve needed married people and families in my life. But after hearing some words from singles yesterday at church and after thinking about my own years of singleness, I have to say this first: on behalf of married people everywhere, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that we haven’t celebrated you for you.

I’m sorry that we assume you’d like to watch our kids while we go out for dinner or that you wouldn’t want to hang out with us and be a “third wheel.”

I’m sorry we make marriage look like the ultimate fulfillment of everything everywhere.

I’m sorry we hear “single” and assume you’re lonely.

I’m sorry we don’t throw you showers for moving into your first apartment or take you out for dinner when you get a new job.

I’m sorry we talk about you like you’re some kind of freak of nature because you aren’t married.

I’m sorry we make you feel like time is running out if you don’t get married soon.

I realize those are generalizations and we don’t all do that all the time, but if I’m honest with myself, these kinds of things have come out of my mouth even when I remember how much I cringed at hearing them when I was single.

The truth is this: single is not the same as alone. When I was a single 20-something, I had an awesome group of single friends I could hang out with just about any time of the week. We took road trips. We stayed up late watching movie marathons. We did life together. We celebrated birthdays, took care of each other and helped with life transitions. We were single, but we were not alone. I think of monks who live their lives as single people but in community with other monks. Single people, you do not have to be alone in this season and you don’t have to treat every other single person like a potential date or mate. Community, I believe, is one key to fulfillment in singleness.

Singleness is also not a life sentence. Can we quit using words like “spinster” and “old maid” or condemning people to a life as “the crazy cat lady” if they don’t get married. (Nothing wrong with cats, but do we even think about how demeaning that sounds?) And why do all of those words seem to apply to women? What’s the word for a man who never marries? (Maybe I don’t want to know.) Singleness is usually a season.

But it’s also not a death sentence. I fear we do not tell good stories about the amazing things single people are doing in this world. I met a man this weekend who has never fathered a child but has adopted more than 40 kids off the street. Tell me his life as a single person doesn’t have meaning.

There are other stories like his. Kisses from Katie tells one. Sarah Thebarge’s The Invisible Girls tells another. Maybe you can think of others.

Hear me out single people: You do not have to put your life on hold because you are not married. You have gifts and passions and desires, and quite often you have something us married people lack–energy and time! Do the things you were put on this earth to do, whether you’re married or not. I guarantee you’ll find fulfillment. <Click to tweet that.>

Because the truth about marriage is that you can still feel alone, you can still wish your life was different, you can still wonder if you’ll ever do anything with meaning.

Married people, can we encourage our single friends to follow their God-given passions? Can we talk about the realities of marriage so it’s not all “happily ever after”? Can we celebrate singleness as a gift?

And can we stop assuming something’s wrong with a person if they’re not in a relationship? Sometimes I think that says more about us than it does about them.

Most days I’m glad I’m married, but I also wish I’d done more with my single years. I refuse to live with regrets so I won’t waste a lot of time wishing for those years back. My hope, though, is whatever season you find yourself in, for however long, that you live it like it will last forever (it probably won’t) and don’t wait for “someday” before you live fully.

Jesus has promised us a full and abundant life no matter our marital state. It’s time we live those lives to their fullest potential and encourage others along the way.

Single people, we’re rooting for you. And we love you for you. And we promise to stop asking you stupid questions about your love life.

I’d love it if we could share some stories of single people doing amazing work for God and for good in this world.

Are you one of those people? Tell us your story. Do you know someone like that? Tell us about them!

I would love to feature these kinds of stories on the blog. Contact me at lmbartelt (at) gmail (dot) com if you have a story to share.

5 on Friday: steps to become an encourager

Once upon a time, I was part of a fun little group called an encouragement team. It was a college thing and I’d just begun to love Jesus and I needed to receive the encouragement as much as I needed to give it. We wrote notes on fun paper with stickers and prayed for people and did generally uplifting things for others. It was awesome.

And for some reason, after college, I stopped doing that.

Have you ever noticed how lacking the world is in encouragers? We have cynics and critics and discouragers aplenty, but where are the encouragers? <Click to tweet that>

I will confess that I have dropped the ball, mainly because I have felt so discouraged myself and it’s hard to encourage when your own tank is empty.

Still, it’s part of how God made me. I love receiving encouragement and I love giving it and sometimes I fail at both. Lately, though, it’s resurfacing. And I’m excited.

Maybe you’ve seen me posting this week about (in)courage, an online community of women supporting and encouraging one another. One way is through community groups. (They start Monday! Have you found one yet? Details here.) The groups are designed to connect women with similar interests or in similar stages of life through social media to offer support and encouragement to each other.encouragement

This session, I’m leading one, and I couldn’t be more excited because encouraging is fun! Especially when you get hooked up with some cool products, like these  notecards from Dayspring. (You might be an encourager if you geek out over stationery and stickers.)

The ladies at (in)courage say encouragement is a superpower, and I would have to agree. But it isn’t the kind of superpower bestowed on only a select few (though it does seem to come naturally to some people more than others); it’s the kind of superpower we all can flex, and the more we use it, the stronger it gets.

If encouraging others intimidates or overwhelms you, can I offer some tips? Here are five steps to become an encourager, even if you don’t think of yourself as one:

  1. Assume everyone needs encouragement. I’ve had some experiences lately where I’ve given encouragement to people I thought had no need of it, but I wanted them to know how much I appreciated them. Turns out, even people who seem like they’re confident and living out God’s calling need encouragement too! Everyone needs encouragement in some way or another. If you know even one person, you know someone who needs encouragement.
  2. Notice people. I know, it sounds a little creepy, but it’s basically how I spend my life. I’m watching people all the time, and people will tell you a lot without ever saying a word. Chances are if you start looking around, you’ll find someone who needs encouragement. Maybe it’s the person standing alone in a room full of people. Maybe it’s a child who acts tough but is really sad on the inside. Sometimes the people who need encouragement are the ones we can easily overlook. Start looking.
  3. Do one easy thing now. Texts and Facebook messages are easy for me. I can send off an encouragement text or Facebook post in a matter of seconds. Sometimes, that’s all the time I have. Sometimes, it’s what I can do immediately. But I find that when I sense a need for encouragement, acting sooner rather than later is important. Because I get busy and forget. And then the easy thing becomes harder and harder.
  4. Do one hard thing later. Writing letters and notes to people is harder because it takes more time and costs a stamp and then I have to walk it out to the mailbox and plan ahead if it’s for a birthday (I’m terrible at this). Talking to people in person–even harder. But I don’t have the address for everyone in the world, nor do I always know the name of the person I’m encouraging (although I’m trying more and more to learn names, especially of those people who serve others in some way). So, maybe I write a note once a week to someone just because (we all love mail, right?). Or maybe I get over my introverted nature and tell the woman cleaning the play area at Chick-fil-a that I appreciate her work. Or maybe I do like my friend Carol and hand out restaurant gift cards to the garbage collectors at Christmas because Lord knows that is a job we underappreciate but couldn’t live without.
  5. Equip yourself. I’m much more likely to encourage if I feel prepared. I have an awesome stash of cards and postcards right now, and I can’t wait to send them! But you don’t have to be equipped with stuff.  Equip yourself with words. Practice saying “thank you” or “I appreciate you” or “Gosh, this job might seem lame but you are doing good work!” Pack a little extra tip money the next time you go out to eat. Listen to other people encourage each other and learn from them. It’s not hard, but it does take work sometimes.

Repeat the steps as necessary. I’m rediscovering that the more I encourage the more I want to encourage. And each little step in the direction of encouragement makes my burdens feel a little lighter.

Tell me, what are you experiences with encouragement? Do you dread it? Love it? Never thought about it? When do you feel most encouraged?

I’m linking up with (in)courage today to talk about The Power of Encouragement. Have a blog? Join us with your thoughts. And link up here.

10 years a writer

It’s been a decade since an unbelievable opportunity fell in my lap. A gift that changed my life forever.

It just so happens to be the same amount of time since I became an “us” with my husband. In 2004, we started dating. In a few days, we celebrate seven years of marriage. But the life-changing opportunity happened a week before he made his move to start dating me.

This week, 10 years ago, God made his move in the mountains of North Carolina.

—

I’ve been seeing on social media posts and pictures and plans for the Blue Ridge Mountains Writers Conference. It’s a conference near and dear to my heart because it was there that God showed me the possibilities. It was there that He planted the seed of what writing could mean in my life.

But that’s getting a little bit ahead of things.

I’ve been reading Restless by Jennie Allen these past few months, and in that book, she talks about threads in your life and experiences that shape those threads. And in looking back over all of my 36 years, the times I’ve been most fulfilled are related to writing. So, whether I knew it or not, I think I’ve always been a writer. I remember filling notebooks with handwritten stories and forcing those notebooks on unsuspecting guests at our house, silently begging them to read what I’d written and to tell me it was good. (I think I’m still doing that sometimes.)

And when I worked as a journalist all those years after college, I was most satisfied by stories that made a difference. Some won awards, some didn’t, but always, always, I was filled by telling other people’s stories.

It was during those journalistic years that I was approached by a generous couple with an offer to attend the Blue Ridge Mountains Writers Conference, all expenses paid by them, to further my writing career. Even typing those words a decade later I’m still in shock at the offer. (P.S. I lived in Illinois at the time, so it’s not like it was close.) I had no clue what a writers conference was or why I should go but when someone offers to pay your way to spend some days in North Carolina, you say “yes.”

It was scary and thrilling and overwhelming all at the same time, and I wish I could go back and appreciate the experience for what it was.

Because in truth I had no idea there were so many Christian authors and because I was clueless and didn’t know any of the authors or what they’d written, I had no episodes of being starstruck. (Though I’m sure if I went back and looked over the names, I would smack myself on the head for not being more in tune with Christian publishing.)

See, at the time, I was a journalist. I’d been a journalist for four years and I had no plans to stop being a journalist or any energy to do more writing in my “free” time. I’d dreamed of maybe writing books someday, but that’s all it was: a dream. One writer asked me why I was there and my answer was an emphatic: I have no idea.

Sometimes I think I wasted that chance, but when I look at the experience as part of the whole journey, it really was just the beginning of something bigger.

I would love to go back someday but now I’m worried I have too much information and would still squander the opportunity. Now, I know more and I’m intimidated by conferences and expectations and meetings with authors and agents and the like. Now, I have words I’d like to see published and the risk of rejection is greater. When you have nothing in the way of goals, you risk nothing, and that’s what my first experience with the Blue Ridge Mountains Writers Conference was for me: low-risk.

But there I met people like me. People who had worked as journalists and now wrote books. People with stories bubbling inside of them. People who’d traveled the publishing path and were passing on knowledge. I still remember some of the tips from the workshops and encouragement from other writers.

It was the beginning of a journey, but I didn’t know it at the time.

But do we ever know when the journey starts?

—

In the last year, I’ve begun taking my writing more seriously. Yes, I’ve blogged for years but that’s always been for me first. An outlet I needed in the midst of  the early years of motherhood. If no one had ever read a word, I still would have written because I needed it.

But for years I’ve also been working on a novel. A very part-time effort that at times seemed to have no end. That’s changing, and it’s scary sometimes. I’m writing and pursuing ideas and making intentional efforts to connect with other writers and share my progress and learn about storytelling. A published novel is still very much a dream. Attending a conference has been almost impossible these past few years but it’s no longer completely out of reach.

Which is why I’ve been thinking back on that first conference.

Ten years seems like a really long time. And sometimes I wonder if I could have done more sooner. If I should have done more sooner. If I’ve missed my chance or if my chance is still out there.

I don’t know if God made me a writer at birth or not, but He has birthed something in me.

And for years He’s been building the writer in me, one brick at a time.

I’m sad and hopeful, frustrated and excited, discouraged and giddy about this crazy writing journey. I have no map or destination. I’m unfamiliar with the route. But I know where I’ve been, and I don’t think I’m lost. Not anymore. I’m seeing signs that I’m on the right path, wherever it might lead.

I have wanted to give up on it. I have wanted to call it a silly little dream. I have wanted my calling to be anything else because certainly anything else would be easier.

But I can’t. And it isn’t. And it wouldn’t be.

Sometimes, to keep moving forward, you need to look back and see where you’ve been.

That’s where I’m at this week. Looking back so I remember to keep moving forward.

(And trying not to be jealous of anyone spending the week in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Mountains+writing=bliss.)

How are your dreams coming along these days?

World War II fiction at its finest: Review of Daisies are Forever by Liz Tolsma {plus a giveaway}

If history books were written like Liz Tolsma’s stories, I’d have changed my major in college.

Okay, that’s probably not true because I was born to be a writer, but I want you to know just how amazing Tolsma’s tales of World War II are. (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book from the author and an e-copy from Litfuse Publicity Group in exchange for my review.)

daisiesDaisies are Forever is the second of Tolsma’s novels that tell the lesser known stories of World War II. The first, Snow on the Tulips, was set in The Netherlands. This one focuses on an American woman living in East Prussia who is forced to flee to Berlin and a British soldier escaped from enemy captivity who pretends to be her husband.

History, especially war history, is not something I’m generally eager to read about, but Tolsma takes readers to the depths of the characters’ emotions. I felt the weight of the burdens Gisela carried as she fought for survival in a near-hopeless environment, and I gained a new appreciation for the immense suffering people all over the world felt during the long years of war.

These are not necessarily feel-good stories, but they do offer hope in the darkest of circumstances. And a unique aspect of Tolsma’s work is that her stories are based on ones that happened in her family. Through stories and pictures she’s heard throughout her life, she is able to take us along on the kind of journey most of us will never have to face.

This is World War II fiction at its finest.

To celebrate the release of her new novel, the author is hosting a giveaway. Details follow.

Liz Tolsma‘s latest WWII historical fiction novel, Daisies are Forever, is getting rave reviews. 

“. . . compelling and fast-paced tale about the atrocities and tremendous losses. . . .” —Library Journal

“Excellent storytelling, accurate historical reporting and gritty, persevering characters make this WWII-era novel a must-read.” —CBA Retailers + Resources


daisies-400-click

Liz celebrating the release with a Kindle HDX giveaway!

One winner will receive:

  • A Kindle Fire HDX
  • Daisies are Forever by Liz Tolsma

Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends on May 31st. Winner will be announced June 2nd on Liz’s website.

Don’t miss a moment of the fun; enter today and be sure to stop by Liz’s website on June 2nd to see if you won.

 

So no one has to walk alone {an (in)courager syncroblog}

“Me too.”

Those two words have become the most important words I can hear from someone or say to someone. Because we all think we’re the only ones, right?

The only ones

  • whose marriages struggle.
  • who wonder if it’s okay to not love every second of motherhood.
  • who wonder if it’s okay to feel called to be a mom.
  • who’ve been hurt by the church.
  • who love the church.
  • who believe (fill in the blank) is the best way to live.

The truth is that we’re never alone in whatever ways we struggle. Others have been there. Others are going through it. Others have overcome it.

The hard part is finding the “others.”

Because I don’t know about you but when I look around at the people in my life, I’m certain everyone else has it all together. I’m sure no one else struggles the same way I do. And I’m terrified, sometimes, to ask if that’s true because I’m afraid that it will be.

So, how do we combat this walking around feeling like we’re alone syndrome?

Well, sometimes we have to go first. We have to be the ones to say: “This is how I struggle.” We have to risk vulnerability (and consequently being hurt) and trust that no one will run away screaming because we are freakishly abnormal.

This is hard. And the times I’ve done it have felt like walking naked into a room full of fully clothed people. But sometimes, not always, when that happens, other people start to take that risk too and we find out we’re not alone.

But what if you just can’t do that? What if you’re too alone or too isolated or too hurt to let real-life people in?

Well, that’s where a group called (in)courage can help. Today, registration opens for the next session of (in)courage community groups–small groups of women meeting, sharing, encouraging and connecting through social media. There are groups for various interests and seasons of life. Interested? Check it out here.

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I’ve been part of a group for two sessions now, and I can’t remember how I found it, but I’m so glad I did. I joined at a time when our lives were upside-down and backwards and I needed to know that there were other people out there whose plans for life and ministry were upturned. I’ve been encouraged and prayed for by women I’ve never met in person who live hundreds of miles away, and yet I consider them friends.

That is the strength of these groups.

This session, I’ll be co-leading the group and participating in some blog link-ups on the topics of encouragement and friendship. Would you consider joining one? Read through the information about how the groups work, look at all the options and then give it a try! I don’t believe these groups are meant to replace face-to-face friendships, but sometimes the people who might understand us best aren’t accessible in real life.

The first session begins in a week, and registration closes in two weeks.

You’re not alone. And you don’t have to walk alone. Community can be just a few clicks away.