Beauty on the Backroads

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#Run4Refugees Day 5: Another mile, another reason

I’ve logged 14 miles now on the quest to 20, with two more days left in the week. That means some longish runs over the next two days, but today was chock-full and my body needed a little bit of rest anyway.

And that allows for more attention to the next reason I’m doing this challenge. (If you missed them, you can catch up on the previous reasons: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 and Day 4.)

14. Not all refugees are fleeing war or poverty. Some are forced to flee because of discrimination: their sexual orientation or religious practice or even genetic differences like ablinism. Discrimination of any kind is detestable to me. So, I’m running (and walking) to raise money that supports safe spaces for refugees who have been discriminated against. CWS has programs in Kenya and South Africa specifically dedicated to welcoming, protecting and standing up for LGBTQI refugees.

According to the organization: “There are very few safe spaces around the world that protect someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity; in many countries, homophobia is still the norm, even to the point where same-sex activity is considered a punishable crime.  And unfortunately, some of the worst hate comes from communities who claim faith. It means that these refugees live in constant fear for their lives wherever they go, even in the sanctuary of a church.” 

One component of their Safe Space program is a training center for faith leaders where pastors and community leaders are challenged to break down their own internal barriers that add to the daily dangers faced by LGBTQI refugees.

I believe my faith and the affirmation of LGBTQI individuals are not at odds, so I am proud to support this work with my miles and my money.

Donations are still being doubled through the end of the week, and thanks to you, I reached my next goal of $500 raised in support of refugees! That number can always go higher, though!

#Run4Refugees Day 4: I’ve got FIVE more reasons I’m logging 20 miles this week

Yes, that’s right. Five. More. Reasons. I’ve logged more than 13 miles on foot this week in support of CWS and their work with refugees around the world. Ten of those miles have been running miles. When I first set out to do this, I had no idea if I could really pull it off. That’s part of the “fun” of a challenge.

Do you know how hard it is to take a selfie with one hand while you’re walking? Hard!

So, here are my next five reasons I’m participating in this challenge and raising money for refugees.

9. Because you can’t judge another person’s journey. As I’m out running, I often pass other runners. Sometimes when we pass each other, I’m walking. Or running slowly. Sometimes I wonder if other runners are judging my progress, even though I can’t recall a time when I was judging someone else’s progress. The truth is, I don’t know anything about any other runner’s or walker’s journey. Maybe they’ve been running for decades and that’s why they’re fast. Maybe they’re just getting started and that’s why they’re walking. Maybe they had an injury and they’re recovering. In this life, we’re all on a journey and some of us have been given a head start. Or we haven’t been sidelined by a catastrophe. We can’t judge the journey of another human being. But we can come alongside and journey together.

10. Related to that, I am drawn to the African philosophy of ubuntu: “I am because you are.” Or “my humanity is wrapped up in your humanity. I believe if one part of humanity suffers, we all suffer, so I’m striving for a world where all can thrive. I believe it is in our best interest as a global community to seek the thriving of every part of humanity rather than hoard wealth or exploit the poor. So, I’m running because I believe refugees are worth my attention and care.

11. I know this because refugees aren’t much different from me. I’ve had the privilege of meeting refugees in person. Most are trying to take care of their families the best they can. Sometimes that means they’ve been separated from the ones they love. Most want to have a safe place to call home, for their kids to have an education, and to use their skills to provide for the things they need like food, shelter and clothing. They have dreams and have suffered and find joy and are doing the best they can. We might come from different cultures and our skin might look different but we have more in common than is sometimes obvious.

12. I run because I can’t forget the internally displaced people (refugees who move within their home country) I met in Kenya. These people were displaced during an election. (No matter how divisive our election get in the States, we do not fear displacement.) My feet touched the dirt where they lived, and I watched children eat hard-boiled eggs and bananas like it was the only meal they’d had recently. (And it might have been.) I stood in the dirt homes of women who wanted us to pray for them (and I felt inadequate to do so). I crossed a dry riverbed to see where they lived. Months later the same riverbed would overflow with water and threaten to destroy the dirt homes sitting too close to its banks. I can’t forget that to build one house able to withstand the floods costs the same as the rent I pay each month. A donation in support of refugees is a small, small price.

13. Because I believe we can create a world where people don’t need to flee their home countries because of violence or hatred or disaster. But doing so will be harder than running 20 miles. It takes endurance and persistence, but it starts with a single step in the right direction. Maybe that’s naive, but I’d rather do a little bit of something than nothing.

More to come! Thanks for joining the journey. And if you haven’t donated yet but want to, you can do so here. If you’re reading this on Sept. 30, donations were being triple-matched until the match pool runs out or midnight Eastern time. Why not make a triple impact?

#Run4Refugees Day 3: reasons 7 & 8 I’m running

Between Sept. 27 and Oct. 3, 2020, I’m logging 20 miles on foot (as much running as I can manage) in support of CWS and their #Run4Refugees campaign. As I complete the miles, I’m sharing the reasons I’m running. If you missed Day 1, you can catch up here. Day 2’s reasons are here.

7. I’m a planner, but I have no idea how to make plans to leave your home and country for an unknown future. As I was running today, I thought about all the preparation it’s taking to squeeze in these runs during a busy week. This morning, I was cooking bacon for dinner (BLTs) so that I wouldn’t have to do it after work and before spectating at a field hockey match so I could get in a quick run to add miles to my total. I don’t handle unforeseen circumstances well. Refugees don’t usually make hasty decisions to leave their homes. Months, sometimes years, of planning happen first. Most of the time, there are unforeseen circumstances on the journey. And how do you plan for such a journey? What do you take with you? What do you leave behind? I’m raising funds and awareness for an organization that helps fill in the gaps for refugee families. I’ve seen firsthand the gratitude for a new home, school supplies, and transportation to the grocery store and medical appointments.

8. Some lessons I’ve learned from running apply to justice work, like refugee aid and resettlement. When I run, I have to keep my head up to take in sufficient oxygen or else my breathing suffers. Advocating for justice issues requires us to keep our heads up and not get too focused on potential pitfalls or circumstances that might make us hang our heads. Running, especially long distances, requires persistence. Justice work, too. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and too often I’ve wanted it to be “fixed” quickly. The funds raised this week will help the work continue for the long haul.

Stay tuned for more reasons tomorrow!

#Run4Refugees Day 2: Two more reasons I’m running

Between Sept. 27 and Oct. 3, 2020, I’m logging 20 miles on foot (as much running as I can manage) in support of CWS and their #Run4Refugees campaign. As I complete the miles, I’m sharing the reasons I’m running. If you missed Day 1, you can catch up here.

I covered two more miles today, so here are two more reasons.

5. Generally I run for my mental health as much as for my physical health. When I came home from work today, I was overwhelmed and anxious. This doesn’t always lead to a good run, and it’s hotter than I want it to be in the last week of September. When stressful situations and anxiety overwhelm me, I run. How does that help refugees? Well, the money I’m raising (and that you’re contributing) takes care of some things that cause stress for refugee families such as health care, hot meals and a welcoming dinner when a family resettles in the United States. When basic needs are met, stress and anxiety ease. I know this from experience. It is no different for refugee families, except that their stressors are not ones I’ve ever experienced on that scale.

6. By October 1 of each year, the president must set the ceiling for the number of refugees that can be admitted to the U.S. For fiscal year 2020, that number was 18,000, the lowest it has been in almost 40 years. Compare that to the number of refugees worldwide: 26 million. Globally, less than 1 percent of refugees have been resettled in 37 countries. (Source: National Immigration Forum.) Another comparison, in fiscal year 2016, the U.S. set the cap at 85,000 refugees. Please understand that this is the maximum number of refugees who can be resettled. The U.S. does not have to meet that number.

For a country that likes to tout itself as a “land of opportunity,” we have too often limited who is afforded those opportunities. I’m running to remind us that much is required of those who have been given much. (We could have another entire discussion about this, but for now, I’ll leave it at this.)

If you want to support my quest, you can give a monetary donation here. While I have surpassed my initial fundraising goal, I would love to continue surpassing it. (I set the goal low on purpose because I like to hit the mark, and I was insecure about my ability to fundraise.) And I’ve heard that right now donations are being matched at 100 percent, so if you’re on the fence about giving, why not do it now?

Keep checking in to read more reasons as I complete more miles.

#Run4Refugees Day 1 (or why I’m covering 20 miles on foot this week)

From now until Saturday, my goal is to cover 20 miles on foot. I’m not journeying anywhere. I’ll be running and walking circles in my extended neighborhood. If you know me at all, you know that I’ve been running regularly for years. But this is no casual hobby this week.

Why am I doing this?

I’m raising money for CWS, a faith-based organization transforming communities around the globe through just and sustainable responses to hunger, poverty, displacement and disaster. Specifically, I’m aiding their #Run4Refugees campaign. While I’m covering these miles, I’m asking people to considering donating to CWS’ work in supporting refugees.

This is a cause and an organization I’ve supported for years, but it’s been a while since I talked about it. So, as I cover the miles this week, I’ll be sharing some reasons that I took on this challenge.

Today, I logged 4 miles, so here are 4 reasons. (I’ll share one for each mile I complete.)

Before I started today’s run. The humidity was brutal but not enough to stop me.
  1. Refugees are people. Maybe that sounds obvious, but what I really mean is that they are living, breathing human beings, not some abstract “issue” out there in the big, wide world. For years, I had the opportunity to meet refugees as they resettled in Lancaster, and every interaction reminded me that the “refugee crisis” I read about in the news or heard about on television was about real human beings. I have names and faces and conversations embedded in my heart and mind of people who made the “refugee crisis” real to me.
  2. Twenty miles is a distance that feels almost impossible. Maybe insurmountable. And it’s equal to the number of years some refugees spend in camps–in limbo between the home they fled and a country that will receive them. Twenty years of not knowing where or when or how your family will get by or thrive. I want to feel the weight of that number in my body.
  3. It’s something I can do. Often when presented with a big, global problem, we throw up our hands and wonder, “What can I do?” Will my running 20 miles in one week solve the refugee crisis? Nope. But it will provide much-needed funds and awareness for an issue that’s easy to dismiss because it’s “too big.” Can your donation solve the refugee crisis? No. But it could provide a health center visit for a family with a sick member or provide a meal for a family on their first night in the United States. You can donate here to help me reach and surpass my fundraising goal.
  4. Refugees are resilient. Because humans are resilient. I don’t believe refugees are some sort of special breed of human able to withstand more suffering than others. They keep going because humans have an unwavering will to survive. I set a goal to run 20 miles in one week, and these first four miles were tough. The humidity and my lack of hydration had me seeing white spots when I got home. I know I’m going to end up walking some of these miles. Maybe more than I want to. But the point is to keep going. Because humanity finds a way to survive.

Check back in throughout the week for more reasons I’m running 20 miles this week. And if you’re willing and able, please donate! Thank you!

While We Sleep

I woke this morning 

to a message from my brother,

800 miles away.

“Are you guys okay?”

He had heard some news

about our city.

I had to search the web

to find out why.

A man was shot and killed by police.

Later that night, people took to the streets,

protesting the police, throwing rocks at windows,

setting things on fire.

While I slept, our city made news.

“Yes, we’re fine,” I told him.

“We live outside the city.”

But in the city are friends.

My husband’s workplace.

Tonight, while I sleep,

he will drive into the city

to start his work day.

Is it selfish to want to pray for his protection?

Why should we find favor with God, 

if that’s even how prayer works,

when so many others do not survive the night?

The city might burn again tonight

while I sleep.

It makes a difference when the blaze

touches places you know and love.

It is not for me to decide innocence or guilt.

I don’t have all the information.

It IS for me to lament.

To grieve.

To cry and to wail.

That while we sleep

the world burns

and sometimes we don’t even notice.

Photo by Flavio Gasperini on Unsplash
(Photo NOT taken in Lancaster, PA.)

Remember

I came home to an empty house. 

This has not happened in almost six months.

One is at work and one is at school and one is at practice.

For the moment, I am alone.

Tomorrow, I go back to work.

Tomorrow, an outside schedule begins to shape our lives again.

Tomorrow, things will start to feel like “normal” again.

Things may even look a little bit like “normal” again.

I am eager to return to work.

And anxious.

I am not eager to return to the kind of life I had.

Packed from beginning hours to end with busy.

Run here, go there, drop off this, pick up that.

I have not missed the hurried life.

I do not wish to forget the unhurried one.

In March, we were forced to slow down.

Stop.

Stay put.

Cease.

We did it for our own good.

And the good of others.

Six months have passed.

And we are tired of these “rules.”

We are eager to get our lives back.

In a rush to return to the way things were.

But what if we chose to slow down?

To keep slowing down?

To sometimes stay put.

For the good of ourselves. And of others.

When we stopped moving, the world did not stop spinning.

Perhaps we realized 

we are not the ones who make it spin after all.

Maybe we don’t like how that sounds.

I can already feel it in myself,

the temptation to rush.

To stress.

To return to the life of the busy.

A life whose calendar is full

but whose purpose is often less so.

I can feel the tug of the hurried life,

beckoning me to come back.

So, today, on the eve of my return,

I’m trying to remember

the mornings that started slow,

with coffee, a book, sleeping in.

The evenings that ended with a walk through the neighborhood.

The Wednesdays in the woods where we breathed the unhurried air.

The time we’ve spent as a foursome, even the times that have not been bliss.

The notes and cards and texts from friends, checking in for no reason.

Remember.

Some things are chosen for us.

Some things we get to choose.

Let us be ones who choose wisely.

10 things I know for sure

In posting this, I noticed that’s been almost two months since I last published a blog post. Oops. Well, not really. I’ve doing what (I hope) most of us have been doing: staying home, staying cool, figuring out life in a pandemic. Anyway, here are some new words for you to read!

I recently read a book by Rainn Wilson (Dwight from The Office): The Bassoon King: My Life in Art, Faith and Idiocy, and the final chapter is titled “10 Things I Know For Sure.” Wilson challenged readers to come up with their own list, so I’ve been mulling the subject for weeks.

Here’s my attempt, then. I’m sure there are more than 10 things, and maybe I’m not 100 percent sure about these, but here they are anyway.

Ten Things I Know For Sure
(in no particular order of importance)

1. There’s always room for ice cream.

We did go out for ice cream multiple times on our recent mountain vacation.

I’ve been eating A LOT of ice cream during the pandemic. Almost every night. I don’t recommend this as a sustainable health practice, but it’s a little something to look forward to at the end of a day that feels like every other day. I blame my grandparents for my deep and abiding love for ice cream. They managed the local Dairy Queen when I was an impressionable age (elementary school), and my brother and I spent countless after-school days and weekends while our parents worked in the back room of the local DQ, “helping” (what child labor laws?) by crushing Oreos for blizzards or layering Buster Bar cups. Everything was made in-house and by hand back then. Nothing tastes better than a Buster Bar straight out of the freezer with the paper cup still sticking to it. In college, my best friend’s dad worked for Baskin Robbins in the quality control division. Her college freezer was always stocked with 31 flavors of ice cream. Most summers, we try out the local ice cream shops to find interesting flavors. (We’re not doing that this summer, even though we could “take out” ice cream. That’s not as much fun as eating it on the actual farm where it’s made.) We are keeping our freezer stocked with flavors from Weis, Turkey Hill, Wegman’s and Target. (Target brand ice cream is surprisingly good.) One week we splurged on Ben and Jerry’s pints. No matter how full I think I am, I almost always have room for ice cream. I can only think of a couple of times when I turned down ice cream.

There’s always room for ice cream. (Sherbet, however, is another thing entirely. I could live all of my days and never eat sherbet.)

2. Kindness takes practice.

Spread Kindness Image created by Tracy Chen. Submitted for United Nations Global Call Out To Creatives – help stop the spread of COVID-19. Used with permission via Unsplash.

I like to think of myself as a nice person, but being nice and being kind aren’t really the same thing. You can “be nice” and to me that’s just not being an a-hole to other people. Being kind takes more intention. And I don’t always want to do it, especially when I don’t think people deserve it. Kindness takes a deep breath before dismissing a person or their beliefs. It tries to understand where the other person is coming from. It offers them a reaction they might not deserve. When I think of kindness, I think of the Jesus I read about in the Gospels. He wasn’t always nice (“You brood of vipers!”), but he was kind (“Does no one condemn you? Then neither do I.”). Whenever I wonder if I’m showing kindness, I think about my gut reaction to a situation and then I try to do the opposite.

3. Life is unpredictable and shit happens.

I don’t like this. I want to know what’s coming. Sometimes. Especially if it’s good and peaceful and light. (I don’t think I would have wanted to know the pandemic was coming, say, a year ago.) I used to think that if I did everything right, like I was “supposed to” then I could somehow avoid the bad things of life. Take, for example, when a tree limb fell on our car last year. I blamed myself for parking the car in that part of the driveway. I thought that if I had just parked it farther back in the driveway, then it wouldn’t have happened. But shit happens, people. We can try to avoid it, but sometimes it’s just our turn. I hope that doesn’t sound fatalistic. I think of it like running through a nearby park that is full of ducks and geese. The paths are scattered with goose poop. I could try to avoid every instance of goose poop, but I’d have to change my course entirely. I still try not to step in the obvious piles, but if I want to enjoy a run through the park, I have to accept that I might get a little bit of shit on my shoes.

4. Therapy is worth every penny. And more. 

Photo by Hello I’m Nik 🎞 on Unsplash

If you’d spend your last dime (and go into medical debt) to fight cancer or some other disease physically ravaging your body, then give the same consideration to your mental health. Getting your shit together mentally and emotionally is as valuable as taking care of your body physically. It’s not cheap nor should it be, and it’s the single best thing I’ve ever done for myself. (By “single best” I mean it was three years of bimonthly or monthly appointments that I sometimes left in tears. Not fun. Or easy. But good.)

5. Swearing is less offensive to me than racism, bigotry and hatred. 

Cursing used to feel taboo, and while I still wouldn’t drop a swear in my grandmother’s presence or in church (probably), I’m not afraid of using adult language when the situation calls for it. (And there are situations that call for it.) More offensive to me are injustices designed to hurt people made in the image of God (spoiler alert: that’s EVERYbody) and the kind of words used to degrade and dehumanize others. Drop some “F” bombs in my presence and I’ll hardly bat an eye. Say something in defense of slavery or derogatory about LGBTQ people or make a racist remark and you’re likely to see a side of me that isn’t particularly nice. 

6. There’s always room for one more. 

Photo by Michelle Bonkosky on Unsplash

In high school, our lunch table had a reputation of overflowing its capacity. We were always squeezing together to make room for one more. (We were not the cool kids or anything, but we thought we were pretty fun to hang out with.) It was a round table and sometimes we bumped elbows while we tried to eat our sandwiches or burgers or whatever. I’ve never regretted making room for one more person at the table. When I was pregnant with my second child, I wondered if I would have enough love to go around since we already had one child. Turns out love is expansive and multiplies to fit the circumstances. I used to think I was at full capacity for friendships. I have trouble investing deeply in relationships if I feel overwhelmed by the number of them, so I used to think I didn’t need to make anymore friends. But as it turns out, there’s always room for a few more. When we moved to Pennsylvania, I thought I had enough friends from college and back home. Then I met people I now can’t live without. And when we moved again within Pennsylvania, I thought I didn’t need anymore friends. And then I met more people I can’t live without. Then I started working, and I thought I was full up on friendships. These people would just be my work people, nothing more. And I met people I can’t imagine not having in my life. Rather than feeling stretched too thin, I feel joyously full of relationships.

7. People are THE WORST. They’re also THE BEST. 

Humanity has such wide-range capacity for good and evil. Some days I’m overwhelmed by it. When I see the good we’re capable of, I’m inspired and hopeful and optimistic about our chances. When I see the evil we’re capable of, I’m jaded, despondent and pessimistic about our chances. In the midst of the pandemic, while we were on a hike and trying to stomp out Spotted Lanternfly nymphs, I said, “Maybe we should just let them have the planet.” (Obviously not one of my best days.) In both cases, my prayer is always, “On earth as it is in heaven.” It takes work, and there’s no one but us to do it. 

8. Travel is the second best investment I’ve made. (Mental healthcare is the first. See no. 4)

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

When I was a junior in college, I had the opportunity to study for a semester in England. Tuition was the same, but I had to pay all my own travel expenses. I applied for my first credit card and went into some debt to take trips to places like Ireland, Scotland, France and Italy while I was there. I regret nothing. (Except that my memory of those days is somewhat faded. Pictures help, but that was more than 20 years ago!) Every travel experience I’ve ever had, especially the international ones, have changed something about me or the way I see the world. Living in isolation gives us a limited view of the world. Our favorite quote as college students roaming around Europe was the first part of this gem by Mark Twain: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” (The entire quote is even more appropriate!)

I hate debt, but travel is worth it. 

9. The older I get, the younger everyone else gets.

What kind of magic is this? People in their 60s and 70s seem YOUNG to me now that I’m in my 40s, and anyone under the age of 30 looks like a child to me. (I didn’t say it was GOOD magic.) This, of course, doesn’t apply to my kids who keep growing up, and I couldn’t stop that even if I wanted to. As the sages of ’90s pop music Smash Mouth said, “The years start coming and they don’t stop coming.” (Sing it with me: “Hey now, you’re an All-Star …”)

10. I still have a lot to learn.

Many times in my life, I’ve thought I knew all there was to know. I’m still guilty of stubbornly holding on to my point of view, especially when I’m afraid. The truth is, the more I think I know, the less I actually know. I got mostly As in school and graduated from college with honors. Sometimes I think that means something important, but there are people with less education than me who know a whole lot more about things I can’t even comprehend. One of the things I loved about being a journalist was getting paid to ask questions. Even then, I sometimes thought I knew what the answer was going to be, but most of the time I was surprised to learn something new. I value curiosity, which means I want to keep my mind and heart open to new ideas and perspectives. 

What are some things you know for sure? Even if you don’t have 10, I’d love to hear from you!

What we’ve been up to: yellow phase edition

Two weeks ago, our county moved to the yellow phase, which in our state still means we’re to take precautions but we’re not as limited to our homes, workplaces and essential errands. The transition hasn’t meant big changes for our family, and I’ve still been logging some of our activities just to remind myself how we spent these days.

Here’s a recap for you about what we’ve been up to.

Summer

Even though the official start of summer is a few days away, we’re in full summer mode here. As in, the kids don’t have any more school and we had to create a new routine to get us through these days so our brains didn’t melt from all the YouTube. I created a weekly checklist for the kids to complete. They each have a copy, and at the end of two weeks, they’ll get a reward of their choice. It’s going better than it was without the checklist but not always as great as I’d hoped. But they did help me clean the bathroom and weed the garden. We had our end-of-the-school-year dinner from Chipotle. We booked a cabin at a state park for later in July to take a short vacation because all of our previous vacation plans for the summer are not doable.

Garden

Things are growing! Including weeds! I have been out to weed the garden two or three times. We have speed mulch that we got free from someone’s yard that was mostly leaves and sticks and mulch that our neighbor who owns the business behind our house had his lawn company dump on our concrete slab. Phil built a trellis for our snap peas. I still worry that we put things in too late to have any chance at a good harvest this year. I transplanted two volunteer tomato plants. Two potato plants have popped above ground. It is consuming my time and attention and I’m not sorry.

Hiking

Weekly, we’re trying to get out of the house and take a hike. Without going too far from home because of bathrooms and such. One week, we went to Lancaster County Central Park and did a loop path that took us past a creek, under a covered bridge and into the woods.

Another week, we walked a paved path next to the Conestoga River.

Both took us nearly an hour and sometimes the kids complain about it, and it’s always a monumental effort to get out of the house. Always worth it, though.

Virtual adventures

During normal summers, we like to take day trip adventures because summer is when we have more family time as the four of us. This year, we decided to still try to have virtual adventures. So, we listed a bunch of places we wanted to “see,” wrote them on slips of paper and pulled one out of a hat. Our first adventure was to The White House. We wanted to explore online and make some kind of food related to the adventure, so our daughter created a White House themed menu based on some of the favorite foods of presidents. We had garlic butter steak bites (inspired by William Howard Taft’s love of steak), leather britches (green beans with bacon inspired by Andrew Jackson, with a side of commentary about the pitfalls of his presidency) and the Kennedy family brownies. We watched Inside The White House on Amazon Prime. Our next adventure is Sydney, Australia.

Our White-House-inspired meal

Books

Our son is back devouring the next Harry Potter book because he wants to earn the Lego Harry Potter video game. We placed a pickup order for the library.

Errands

We went to the school to pick up the kids’ things. They both saw their teachers. I also went to my school to pick up my personal things. And I cried the whole way home. My driver’s license expired during quarantine, and I was able to renew it online, but I still needed to get a new photo ID. All the PennDOT offices were closed until early June, and while I really wasn’t looking forward to venturing out, I did it and it wasn’t too bad. We also dropped off the library books we’d had for months. And Phil took our daughter to buy running shoes. He also returned our son’s lacrosse equipment.

Miscellaneous

I cut Phil’s hair one Sunday because it was getting too long for him to feel comfortable while working. I only do one style, though, so he’s rocking a new look that nobody hates.

Before
After

The kids needed new clothes for summer, so we shopped online. When it came, everything but one pair of shorts fit and that was only because the store had sent us the wrong size. I may never shop with the kids in a store again. And a friend came over for a (no, really!) socially distanced visit on my porch. We attended a socially distant prayer meeting for racial justice with people from church. And for one stretch of 24 hours, both Phil and I were puking because of something we ate, we think. It was not a fun time for us. We’ve been taking almost nightly walks through the neighborhood. And a house in a nearby development caught on fire one night and we watched the smoke billow from our porch. It was close enough that the air around our house was thick with smoke.

Not clouds; smoke from a nearby house fire

What we’ve watched

Some of these as a family, sometimes just as adults. Lego Batman. Just Mercy. Anne With An E. Poldark. Good Omens. Good Mythical Morning. Ultimate Tag. The Titan Games. The Big Flower Fight. The Office.

Noticing beauty

I was sitting on the porch one night reading and there’s a bunny that hangs around our yard. It hopped around the yard and paused on the side porch. I got up to go in for a drink or something and saw that something was underneath the bunny. Then 3 baby bunnies hopped out from under our porch and a total of 4 babies were feeding from their mama. I ran inside and said, “Come quickly but quietly.” The kids were not interested but Phil and I stood in the kitchen and watched this happen for a while. Then the mama got spooked and the babies hung out in the yard and I wanted to know where they were staying, but eventually we decided to leave them alone and stop watching. It was marvelous.

Running

And exercising. There’s been a lot of both. I’m working on a 90-mile challenge in 90 days, and I’m already a quarter of the way there. This is what that looks like.

So, what have you been up to?

The last installment of The Distancing Diaries

No, the pandemic isn’t over, and no, life is not “back to normal,” but today, our county finally moves into a yellow phase. Our stay-at-home order is lifted and while we still have to take precautions when we leave the house, restrictions have eased. I will still be chronicling our days because we’re still living in unusual days, but maybe I won’t share them as often. Highlights, maybe, from here on out. So, what you have here is the final 9 days of our stay-at-home life. Thanks for reading along!

Day 75: I’m not sure I want to keep logging the days, but just like social distancing and wearing a mask, just because I don’t want to doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea. While our days are certainly not as busy as they could be if things were as they used to be, the lead-up to the end of school still feels jam-packed. Also, it’s humid and that makes me lethargic.

Phil’s phone is acting up, so that adds a new wrinkle into our lives. He took the car for inspection this morning. We’re living old school without phone connection between us. I think we’ll manage. I checked on the garden this morning, thinking it might need watering. Things look okay out there. I’ll water tonight after another hot day. The soil still looks damp, even after yesterday’s sunny day.

Highlights from this steamy day: Phil took the car for inspection. And went to the garden center to get more plants to round out our garden and herbs for the porch. My medication issue finally got sorted out, so I went to the doctor for an injection. I swung by a friend’s house to pick up some seed potatoes she had left over from her garden. Being out for errands is still a little weird. The mall parking lot was empty and traffic was light in a usually heavy traffic area. 

When I got home from the doctor’s office, I washed dishes so Phil would have more open space to make dinner. Then I took a break to watch When Calls the Heart. And before dinner, I went out to the garden to welcome our new plant babies into our family. That took almost an hour. I took another break outside with a book to cool off. After dinner, I potted the herbs. All I have left is the marigolds, which we’re putting in the garden to, we hope, ward off pests.

Phil and I were pretty tired after the kids went to bed. We watched more of the second Cotswolds travelogue. Not only does it make me want to go back to England, but it makes me want to go for a hike out in nature. I need towering trees and lush greenery for my soul’s health.

We went to bed early, a good kind of exhausted (for me).

Day 76: When I sat on the porch with my coffee this morning, a light rain was falling. It was refreshing after a night of sleep that was not as refreshing as I’d like. The humidity is high, and we try not to put the window air conditioners in until mid-summer, if we can help it. The air doesn’t flow well in our bedroom, so the cool mist of the rain was welcome.

I’m having a hard time right now with writing and words. We’re living our life and I’m just tired of all the online connection. I need a break from it all sometimes.

I went for a long run in the morning and when I got home Phil had been on the phone for HOURS trying to get his phone situation sorted out. He finally did. The kids did academic time. We’re in the home stretch now. What else did I do? Dishes. Laundry. Reading for judging. Making dinner. It rained most of the day which made it difficult to get motivated to do much of anything. And it’s humid.

We watched Ultimate Tag during dinner. I played video games with my son.

I watched two episodes of When Calls the Heart after the kids went to bed.

Day 77: I woke at 5 a.m. The humidity is making it hard to sleep well. I read for a little bit. Then I decided to take my body measurements since I hadn’t in more than a month. Then I read some more and took my coffee to the porch. The humidity is thick already, the sky overcast. I have some cooking and baking to do today.

It was ridiculously hot and humid today for May. At one point we had a feels-like of 92. Ew. 

My son couldn’t wait any longer for a haircut, so I buzzed it. Add it to my list of quarantine skills. I do not do much work with the clippers, but I can buzz a head down to a “one.” I may get another chance soon.

I watched the final episode of season five of When Calls the Heart this morning because I just needed to do it. Then my son had a counseling telehealth appointment. After that I read a bit until it was time to prepare lunch.

After lunch I got to work on the quiche I needed to make for future breakfasts. I made a pie crust from scratch, something I haven’t done in a while and prepared the quiche and if I wasn’t already looking forward to breakfast every day, I would be even moreso.

Broccoli cheddar quiche — yum!

I sat outside to read some more because there was a breeze outside. The baby bird has been active today, and I’m almost sure it’s going to fly away soon.

A not-so-little baby bird

Just as I was getting ready to start on dinner and Phil was getting home, the sky darkened and the temperatures cooled. We finally got a soaking rain and it felt so glorious that I stood on the porch for a few minutes just to feel the coolness. 

We ate dinner. Watched more of The Big Flower Fight. Made shopping lists for tomorrow. I sat on the porch again to read.

Academics are winding down. It’s Friday. It’s hot. The day has been all kinds of disjointed. We’ll get back on track with some kind of structure to our days when school is officially over on Tuesday.

Now I’m staring Anne with an “E”. It’s been a long time coming.

Day 78: Saturday again, in case you’re keeping track. Yesterday, daughter thought it was Saturday. If we ever have to be anywhere ever again, we’re in trouble.

I woke before 6 and grabbed a book I was almost finished with. And I finished it. Books are some of the life-giving stuff for me right now. I mean, they always have been, but now especially they are my friends and comfort.

The world feels restless. Restrictions are easing and family and friends are asking about when we can get together and I’m so not sure how to make plans beyond one day at a time right now. It makes me nervous to think about.

Because I was up early, I got an early start to my day. I took a shower to rinse the stink and sweat of yesterday off. By 7:30 I was on the porch for some writing time. I gravitated toward fiction today, writing a scene I thought up earlier in the week. It’s been months since I wrote any new fiction. I’ve missed it. And I need to make time for it. After about an hour, the kids were all up in each other’s business, so I came inside to do what I could to quell that storm. (Truthfully, it’s not much.)

I washed dishes while finishing the episode of Anne With an “E” I started last night. It was a long one. I made no-bake cookies and started a crock-pot full of stock ingredients because I was in the mood to cook/bake and it’s not my night to cook. By lunchtime, the TV had been on all morning, I’m pretty sure. The toilet had leaked a little bit so I had to clean that up. We all got lunch and I sat on the porch reading until it was time to join in the live workout as part of the gala weekend for the fitness program I’m in. Normally, the gala is held in Scotland. (Swoon. Maybe next year.) This year, it’s all virtual, and I’m just glad to participate. I sweated through the workout, then made myself a snack. I thought I better check on the recipe my daughter picked for dinner, and it’s a good thing. It required more prep time than either of us realized, so we got started right away.

Not long after we put the pancake bread in the oven, I was reminded of the SpaceX launch, so I commandeered the TV from the YouTube watcher and we tuned in to watch history. It was as exhilarating as any Space Shuttle launch I watched growing up. Although I must say that memories of disasters flashed as I watched. I don’t think I let myself relax until they were definitely in space.

Now it’s a struggle to keep going. Dinner is in progress. Phil is at the grocery store with some of the ingredients for the rest of dinner, and a phone that isn’t working properly, so I don’t know how long until he’s home. Son is protesting on the floor trying to finish folding his clothes, even though I’ve promised him a no-bake and some out-loud reading when he’s done. I could participate in a yoga session in about 30 minutes, but it will probably depend on the state of things elsewhere in the house. I’m not hopeful.

I AM hopeful about taking a hike tomorrow though. I desperately need one and it’s part of the gala celebration. Just the excuse I need to get out into nature. I need to convince the rest of the family, though.

Waffle-maker hash browns

Dinner became a family affair. Phil got home from the grocery store after 5 and we set out to unpack groceries while our daughter got the second part of dinner–waffle maker hash browns–ready. We ate in shifts and mostly stayed in the kitchen. Then we watched some Good Mythical Morning before putting the kids to bed.

Phil and I started Good Omens. He watched the series months ago, but since I just finished the book, he’s watching it again with me.

Day 79:  Sunday. I had a lot of food prep work to do for later in the day, and we were planning a hike in the afternoon so I spent the first part of the morning in the kitchen, washing dishes and prepping food for dinner. We had online church and discussion afterward, and some of it got me fired up, so it was good that we were headed to a nature trail for a hike.

The hike was part of the gala celebration I mentioned earlier. I found a preserve that’s part of the conservancy, and my hope was that it would be secluded. It was. The kids’ attitudes going in were better than I expected. They gathered what they needed and sprayed themselves with bug spray. Our only regret is that most of us didn’t wear pants and the trail would have been better for us if we had. But there were no cars in the parking area and we only saw one person on the trail, which was kind of surprising and little bit strange.

It was a short trail leading to the river, and it was exactly what my soul needed. My inner being thrives when green surrounds me and trees tower over me and nature is everywhere I look. We saw a heron. Our legs got scratched with weeds, and my son almost gave up on the whole thing because his leg was itchy. I promised him a bath when he got home and tried to remember that being outside is worth it, even when there are bugs and steep trails.

We came home, and I got to work on my gala food: smoked salmon ceviche and homemade tortilla chips. I also prepped some dinner food because I wasn’t sure how long the online gala would last. I grabbed a quick shower, then put on a fancy dress, poured myself a drink and sat down with my food to celebrate an amazing community of people I only just discovered late last year.

Salmon ceviche with homemade tortilla chips and a dark beer

It was fun. And the beer I was drinking made it difficult for me to focus on dinner prep, but I managed to do just that. We ate at a semi-reasonable hour.

The Titan Games premiered and we tuned in to watch the first hour of that. Before we could find out what happened in the first contest, the news broke in with a special report and we spent the next several minutes watching reports about riots and protests and gatherings in cities across the country. The kids had a little trouble going to sleep after that. And Phil and I stayed up to watch all the news gave us till about 9. Then we finished the documentary about the Cotswolds because I needed to calm down.

Day 80: Monday. The second to last day of school for the kids. Three of us got our morning workouts in. Phil got his new phone and worked to get it connected. Both kids had Zoom calls. My daughter’s was with the middle school counselors, so I sat next to her and listened. It’s a strange thing this year to be wrapping up a year and getting inundated with information about next year. She is on her way to being a middle schooler. I am not prepared. Also I am.

We had lunch. I showered. And then we got ready for the end-of-the-year parade that was going to go past our house. The kids’ teachers from the school were parading through neighborhoods and they were going to pass our house. We made some signs, set out our lawn chairs at the end of the driveway and grabbed the cow bell. (Because obviously what this year needs is more cow bell.)

We waited almost an hour before the parade came toward us, and then it was 10-15 minutes of sheer energy as we waved, cheered and rang the cow bell. Okay, listen, it was mostly me doing these things. I know the teachers were doing this for the kids, but I needed them to know they were appreciated and loved, too. It was so much fun.

I had a hard time figuring out what to do after that because it was a bit exhausting.

Dinner happened. We watched some Good Mythical Morning. I binged the rest of season 1 of Anne With An “E” after the kids went to bed.

Day 81: Tuesday. I had to put the actual day of the week on each entry for the last several days because I had other stuff to occupy me and I didn’t write anything about how we spent our days. This morning, after scrolling social media and sitting on the porch with my coffee, I decided I needed to work in the garden, clearing out weeds and planting marigolds near the tomato plants in an effort to ward off pests. I was in the garden by 7:15 and it took me about an hour and a half to do what needed to be done. I think that’s my workout for the day. Back to the regular schedule tomorrow. My body needs a bit of a break from all the activity.

I sat on the porch reading and having a snack after all the garden work. Today is the last official day of school for the kids, so there’s not much left for them to do. Summer is upon us tomorrow and I need some time to prepare as much as I can with a pandemic still going on.

Last day of school. They love each other, right?

I didn’t get very far on the summer planning. There were last day of school meetings for the kids online, and I’m just at a loss for how to attempt to plan our days. Restrictions will ease, but I’m not sure when. Taking summer one day at a time will be difficult, I think.

Had the urge to bake again so I made chicken pot pie with homemade crust for dinner. It took a little while to make in the afternoon. I watched some Anne With An “E” and read on the porch for down time. After dinner, there were some BIG FEELINGS about everything, so we decided to take a short walk around the “block,” which is really a loop. All four of us. That hasn’t happened in a while.

Then we had a conversation about screen time going into summer and it ended with both kids crying under blankets on the couches. They were able to go to bed without too much trouble. Phil and I watched another episode of Good Omens. Because when it feels like you’re living through an apocalypse, a show about the apocalypse is fitting.

Day 82: Wednesday. I worked out. I cried because I was feeling like nothing had changed with my strength and abilities. I posted in my fitness program’s Facebook group and got a lot of encouragement and support. We had some emotional/feelings issues in the morning that we had to talk through as a family. The day went kind of weird. I read outside. I washed dishes. A storm rolled through so I read out loud to my son for a bit. The kids received a package from grandparents that included some new toys/entertainment options. We did a video call with our church and friends who live in Kenya. I took an hour-ish in the afternoon to do some writing on the porch. Phil made dinner: brats, macaroni salad, asparagus. We got the grill going. It felt like summer. We took another short walk as a family after dinner before eating zucchini bread Phil had also made. He and I watched episodes of The Office as our nighttime entertainment.

Humidity is no joke.

Day 83: Thursday. The last day of our stay-at-home order. Things won’t automatically go back to “normal” tomorrow but more businesses are opening and allowing for customers. It will be a different phase of this whole thing. I might call these entries something else starting tomorrow. I woke early to go for a run because it’s supposed to be almost 90 today and I could already feel the humidity thick in the air. My run went well. I had breakfast and made coffee when I got back, then took a quick shower so we could meet with our son’s counselor at 9. Phil listened in, as well, because we were talking about something that I wanted him to hear, too.

Dishes and laundry for the rest of the morning. Lunch. Now I’m off to the porch to do more work reading.

I now declare it iced coffee season.

Spent a good chunk of the afternoon on the porch reading. And eating snacks. And drinking iced coffee. We have transitioned to iced coffee in the afternoons. I’m not sorry. The kids took an hour of screen-free time and I didn’t even have to fight with them. I folded laundry and put another load in, then read some more on the porch. Phil is home now and it’s too early to start dinner, but not enough time to do any kind of big projects. The kids are back to screens.

The heat and humidity are at their max for the day. It’s too soon to put the window air conditioners in but on days like this, I miss the cool reprieve they offer. There will be other days soon where I would miss the breeze flowing through the windows, though, if we put them in. The annual dilemma. At what point do we put the window ACs in?

Our evening ended in an odd way. As the kids were getting ready for bed, thunderstorms were rolling in to the area. I assured them that they would be fine and tried to tuck them in. But it was nearly 90 today and apparently there’s a full moon tomorrow, so sleep was elusive. I talked to my parents for a little bit. My daughter came out of the bedroom worried and upset about the coming storm. When I finished the phone call with my parents, neither child was asleep, and I was not interested in getting frustrated because they wouldn’t sleep. So, I checked the radar and it looked like the worst of it would pass within the hour.

I made my kids an offer they couldn’t refuse. They could get out of bed and join me in the living room and we could watch a couple of episodes of something to distract us from the storm. I told them they were intruding on my relaxation time, though, and I would be eating ice cream in front of them. They didn’t care. They’d already had dessert for the day.

So, we watched two episodes of Nailed It! while the storms came through. They were loud and a bit fierce, but we weathered it together. It was 10 o’clock when the three of us went to bed, not something I’m willing to repeat often, but sometimes what is required is out of the ordinary.