Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns
If you think Jesus would have come into your home that day and not issued a strong rebuke to the head of household, you are mistaken. These words of condemnation have been haunting me for days now. They aren’t all that different than the soundtrack I play in my head on an almost-daily basis. It’s…
I am nesting. On Saturday I emptied the refrigerator. Last summer’s homemade pickles in their jars. The bread ends that seem to multiply on every shelf. The eggs. The milk. The fruit and veggies. All of it sat on the floor or the counter as I carefully removed the shelves and wiped them down with…
I’ve heard that life is like a highway. And it definitely seems like that sometimes. The pace of life swirls around me at dizzying speeds. We’re all so busy. In such a hurry. Always somewhere to be, something else to do. I’m a get-to-the-point, get-there-quick kind of girl. I don’t like to waste time on…
Sometimes, I have a love-hate relationship with church.
I love the people who are the church. I hate what we sometimes do in the name of the church. I love getting together on Sundays. I hate that sometimes we leave it in the building and don’t take it into the rest of the week.
Like every relationship, it has its highs and lows. I’ve not considered leaving the church or living the Christian life solo, but after reading Joshua Harris’ Why Church Matters (formerly titled Stop Dating the Church), I’ve come to this realization: I’m unfaithful to the church.
Because my husband is going to be a pastor, I’ve thought that giving our lives and vocation for the church is commitment enough. Never mind that I “shop around” in my mind, comparing my current and former churches to other churches I’ve visited or heard about or read about.
If we could just be like that church, I’ll think, or, if only we lived closer to this church.
These kinds of thoughts set us up for disappointment and a lack of commitment to the church, God’s chosen vessel for the Gospel, His bride. Harris reminds us that Christ loves the church, and loved her to the point of death, and sees her with the eyes of a groom on his wedding day. She’s not perfect, but she’s getting there.
Harris encourages commitment to a biblically based church and offers 10 questions to consider before choosing a church. He does not advocate making the best of a bad situation, i.e. one where the Bible is secondary to anything else, discipline is an afterthought or where people live contrary to what they proclaim on Sunday. But church-shopping, or not attending one at all, is not to be a Christian’s way of life, according to Harris.
Some of Harris’ beliefs and teachings about church seem a little extreme to me and sometimes, with little room for grace. That doesn’t mean the book isn’t valuable. I think it’s best to take parts of it with a grain of salt. Like in another of his books, I Kissed Dating Good-bye, Harris writes with authority and backs up his beliefs with Scripture and experience.
I’m not sure everyone will buy everything he’s selling, but I think he makes some good points about committing to a church family, serving within that family and ending the search for a “perfect” church.
Check out chapter one here.
In exchange for this review, I received a free copy of the book from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.
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I’m so tired of being “fine.”
You know how it goes:
Some other person: “Hi. How are you?”
Me: “Fine.”
Or sometimes I upgrade “fine” to “good.” Rarely do I think about my answer. It’s automatic. Spit out an answer. Don’t take too long. Nobody’s interested in how you really feel.
Most of the time, I’m not even sure how I do feel. Maybe at that exact moment, standing in line at the grocery store without kids and everything checked off my list, I am fine. My overall state of well-being, though? Probably somewhere less than fine.
I’m obsessed with “fine.” And “OK.”
“Are you OK?” — I’ve noticed I ask my husband this question a lot. I want the answer to be “yeah, I’m fine,” but lately it hasn’t been. We’re working on some things to help us be more honest about how we’re feeling and our states of mind. He surprised me one day when he answered that question, “No. And that’s OK.”
Last week, the kids and I all caught some kind of stomach bug which one day resulted in our 20-month-old puking in the grocery store. If you’ve never cleaned up puke in a grocery store with people maneuvering around you to check out the produce offerings, let me tell ya, it’s a thrill. I think I used an entire roll of paper towels.
Because the illness had cycled through both kids and me, I thought we were done with it. The in-store puking caught me off guard.
The next day, I took the kids to the park for some morning fun and a picnic lunch. We had a great time, which I sort of didn’t expect. I’m learning that I associate leaving the house with things going wrong so having a great time at the park with my kids by myself was a pleasant surprise.
We had walked to the park, and on the way home, Corban started making some weird mouth expressions and my first thought was, “Oh, no. He’s going to puke again.”
So I made a beeline for home. Get home, get home, get home, was all I could think. I almost started to panic at the thought that he might puke in the wagon on our walk home. I kept turning around asking him, “Are you OK?” This must be part of my mantra for life. I’m noticing it more and more.
We arrived home safely, without incident, and Corban perked up like nothing was wrong.
I felt silly for worrying that something might go wrong. In all reality, something is always going to go wrong. I should be more surprised when things go right.
I hope that doesn’t sound cynical. I’m just re-learning that the world in which we live is wrong. It has been since Eve ate the fruit and gave some to Adam. It’s not a perfect world. Sometimes it’s not even a good world.
Bad things happen. Bad days happen. Sometimes I’m going to feel “fine” and sometimes I’m not.
And that’s OK.
Most people aren’t “fine.” And that’s OK, too.
So, how are you today?