Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns
If you think Jesus would have come into your home that day and not issued a strong rebuke to the head of household, you are mistaken. These words of condemnation have been haunting me for days now. They aren’t all that different than the soundtrack I play in my head on an almost-daily basis. It’s…
I am nesting. On Saturday I emptied the refrigerator. Last summer’s homemade pickles in their jars. The bread ends that seem to multiply on every shelf. The eggs. The milk. The fruit and veggies. All of it sat on the floor or the counter as I carefully removed the shelves and wiped them down with…
I’ve heard that life is like a highway. And it definitely seems like that sometimes. The pace of life swirls around me at dizzying speeds. We’re all so busy. In such a hurry. Always somewhere to be, something else to do. I’m a get-to-the-point, get-there-quick kind of girl. I don’t like to waste time on…
My husband and I used to tell people we wanted to have 8 kids — 4 by birth and 4 by adoption.
Having 2 kids 20 months apart has changed that. So did reading this book. 
I won’t say that “Praying Through Your Adoption” closed the door in my mind to ever adopting a child, but it certainly gave me a lot to think about that I never before considered. Like the sacrifices (not just financial) involved, and the waiting (I’m terrible at waiting!), and the insecurity (will the birth mother change her mind?).
We’re nowhere close to being in a place to be ready to adopt. I knew that before reading. But now I know some of the things that need to happen before we ever begin pursuing it. Things like prayer, most of all, and research. What I appreciated most about this book were the personal stories of victory, frustration, anguish, elation, compassion, submission and reality. The author, Michele C. Scott, shares not only her own family’s story of adopting a son, but dozens of other families’ experiences.
This is a rich resource for anyone considering adoption. And because of that, I would like to give the book away. If you’re considering adoption for the first time, or a second or third time, or know someone who would benefit from this resource, then leave a comment on this blog. On Friday, August 5, I’ll pick a winner using Random.org and post the results here. For additional chances to win a book, visit the Christian Speaker Services blog or check out the Virtual Book Tour on Facebook.
And read on for an interview with the author.
What can you tell us about yourself, your childhood, and the present?
I grew up as an only child in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Faith was a vital part of our family life, so I believed in God from an early age. About mid-way through college, after heartaches and some poor decisions, I decided to trust Jesus and the plans He has for my life. I graduated, moved to the suburbs, and married my husband, Eric. I worked in the corporate world and Christian ministry before becoming a work-at-home mom through adoption.
When did you first realize you wanted to become a writer?
I started writing poems and stories for fun as a child. I even had a poem published in Highlights for Children. Through high school and college I enjoyed researching and writing papers, but I never considered becoming a professional writer until I wrote Praying Through Your Adoption.
What inspired you to write Praying Through Your Adoption?
I’ve been talking to God in prayer for as long as I can remember. I turned to prayer during our infertility, and I had planned to pray through a pregnancy if that had been God’s plan. While adopting our son from Russia, we experienced painful delays and obstacles, such as increased fees and additional paperwork. At a particularly low point in the adoption process, I participated in an online prayer vigil that directed me to pray for very specific aspects of adoption – from government officials to waiting children. I realized the power of prayer specifically in adoption and saw the need to help other families pray through their adoptions as well.
How did you come up with the title?
Becoming an adoptive family is a process. First, you make decisions about the type of adoption and the age of the child you wish to pursue. Then you work to become approved, educated, and prepared for welcoming and parenting this new child. Praying Through Your Adoption shows families how to rely on God and their faith through the entire journey of creating and nurturing their forever family.
What other life experiences shaped you to write this book?
Wow, many life experiences influenced this book. Our infertility is probably the biggest since the longing and waiting for our son is a large portion of our story. But even getting laid-off right before our adoption, experiencing post-adoption depression, and dealing with special needs made me want to encourage others dealing with similar difficulties.
What was the hardest part of writing your book?
Retelling my experience with post-adoption depression was hard. After our difficult time becoming parents, I never imagined I’d feel overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed as a new mom. As much as I wanted to skip over that chapter in my life and in the book, I felt it was important to paint a realistic picture for prospective adoptive families. Thankfully, other adoptive families were willing to share their real-life joys and challenges in the book as well.
What’s one of the most important things people need to know about adoption?
One of my favorite quotes in the book is from the late Derek Loux, an adoptive father of and an advocate for orphans. He said,
“My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it.”
Derek’s words capture so much. There is loss, and, yes, there are sacrifices – financial and otherwise – in adoption. But the rewards for answering God’s call to care for orphans are priceless.
Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?
In writing the book, I had the opportunity to feature around 20 families and their unique adoption stories. No matter the circumstances, I could see the special love that ordinary families experience as forever families. I’m grateful for their transparency and support for this project, and I think the readers will be, too.
Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?
With over 143 million orphans across the globe, I would love to see more families consider adoption. But I deeply respect the person who reads this interview or picks up this book and, for whatever reason, decides adoption is not right for them. I hope they would at least consider providing prayer support and perhaps even financial support to families pursuing adoption.
Where can readers learn more about you and adoption?
I encourage readers to visit www.PrayLoveAdopt.com, a website I created to provide information, encouragement, and prayer support for families in any stage of the adoption journey. Visitors can read an excerpt from Praying Through Your Adoption and order a paperback or e-book copy if they desire. They can also visit my blog, www.MommyForward.com, and my main website, www.MicheleCScott.com to learn more about me and my other projects.
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I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speaker Services (www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com).
During my SNL (Saturday Night Live) obsession, the good old days of Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Dana Carvey et al., the Stuart Smalley segment was one of my favorites. You know him, right? “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.” Here’s a clip, in case you missed ’90s late night television.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ldAQ6Rh5ZI&feature=related]
Lately I’ve found myself in the Stuart Smalley camp of self-esteem. Building myself up. Affirming my abilities. Reminding myself of my accomplishments.
But the truth is: it’s not helping. Those tactics only make failure seem worse.
Take, for example, this writing project I’m working on. I sent in the first drafts. Getting to that point was tough. I felt physically exhausted. (I’d also been dealing with a sick toddler away from our home doctor and recovery from a week at Bible camp and multiple days with less than 4 hours of sleep.) But I felt good about the ideas. Not great. Just good.
They came back on Friday with comments for me to work on for final drafts. This is part of the process. It’s not a big deal and it’s not like I was told everything was crap and I have to start over. But I get a letdown sometimes when I’m given suggestions for improvement.
I’m like that with life, too. When I realize I don’t measure up. I’m not who I want to be. And I’m not making the kind of progress I think I should.
I’ve failed, my mind says. I’m not competent, I hear. I shouldn’t be doing this, I convince myself. I’m not talented. Or capable. Or (fill in the blank).
So, I was liberated listening to a series of messages by James MacDonald this week on insecurity. He taught from Exodus 4, the story of Moses telling God all the reasons He shouldn’t use him to deliver the Hebrews from slavery.
At one point, MacDonald drives home the point that the truth about us, compared to God, is we’re nobody. God doesn’t need us to do His work. We are nothing without Him.
That’s tough stuff to swallow, especially in a country where we’re ranked by our accomplishments, levels of success and income.
Nothing? Isn’t that sort of self-defeating? Putting yourself down? Even Christians have trouble sometimes calling ourselves nothing. Aren’t we made in the image of God? Fearfully and wonderfully made? A work of art?
Yes to the latter questions. We are created, but we are nothing without the creator. Can a masterpiece hanging on the wall of a gallery praise itself for its artistry? Can a sculpture boast about the work of its hands? Can a story tell itself?
The reality is I’m not good enough. Or smart enough. And some people don’t like me. (My apologies, Stuart.)
But God loves me. And He made me. And He wants me to be a living, breathing picture of His mastery. And I can’t do it alone.
Whether in writing or in life, I need help. And that’s OK.
Being able to say what I’m not gives me the freedom to tell who God is.
I am nothing. He is everything.
It’s not about me. It’s all about Him.
I’m a slow learner, but I have a patient Teacher.
Freedom. Can you taste it? It’s oh, so sweet.