Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns
If you think Jesus would have come into your home that day and not issued a strong rebuke to the head of household, you are mistaken. These words of condemnation have been haunting me for days now. They aren’t all that different than the soundtrack I play in my head on an almost-daily basis. It’s…
I am nesting. On Saturday I emptied the refrigerator. Last summer’s homemade pickles in their jars. The bread ends that seem to multiply on every shelf. The eggs. The milk. The fruit and veggies. All of it sat on the floor or the counter as I carefully removed the shelves and wiped them down with…
I’ve heard that life is like a highway. And it definitely seems like that sometimes. The pace of life swirls around me at dizzying speeds. We’re all so busy. In such a hurry. Always somewhere to be, something else to do. I’m a get-to-the-point, get-there-quick kind of girl. I don’t like to waste time on…
I’ve had a lot running through my mind this week and little time to write out my thoughts. So, lucky you, if you’re reading this, you get to take a peek at a week in the life of my brain. Try not to be afraid.
— I haven’t had as much sleep this week as I would like. Early in the week, Isabelle decided to assert her 2-year-old independence and boldly declare, “No, I not go to sleep” at bed time. This, followed by an hour or more of screaming, “I want my mommy” and throwing herself around her room, passing out in various areas of her room. One night, she fell asleep in the middle of the floor. Tonight confirmed one of my fears about this … she passed out in front of the door to her room, so I woke her up (by nudging the door into her head) when I went in to put Corban to sleep. The experts, doctors, I guess, say one reason for this sort of behavior is because they don’t want to miss out on what’s going on. Isabelle played that card tonight, conning me into letting her take a book and a Bible to bed with her, then desperately asking for anything she could think of to delay bedtime. As her mother, I disapprove of her antics, knowing that sleep is what’s best for her. But if I’m honest with myself, I’m guilty of the same. God repeatedly tells me to rest, and I repeatedly tell him, “But, the dishes aren’t done.” Or, “I need this time on Facebook to relax after a long day.” Or, “I deserve to stay up late and have ‘me’ time after being with the kids all day.” Rest, He says. And I know He knows what is best.
— Isabelle broke a glass in the kitchen this week. She didn’t do it on purpose. I think she was reaching for a dirty dish that she wanted to wash when it crashed to the floor. I rushed her out of the room while I picked up and swept the pieces I could see. I knew I needed to do a better job than that, but I just didn’t feel like it then. I was alone in the house with the kids and I didn’t want to have to play keep away from the kitchen with Isabelle while I tried to sweep and mop the whole floor. I paid for that decision all week. Four times, I stepped on a small piece of glass and had to dig it out with tweezers, wash the wound and affix a band-aid to the bottom of my foot. A few extra minutes when the breakage occurred could have saved me later, as could have a decision to wear shoes in the kitchen until I did. Reminds me of two things: that every decision has a consequence, good or bad and small wounds can cause big hurt.
— I’m having an increasing desire to “do life together” with people, and I’m not confident of being able to fulfill that desire where we’re at. Or maybe I just need to take more initiative. I said earlier this week that I was missing a sense of belonging. I know as a Christian I don’t belong here on earth, but I have to live here till I’m called home, and while I’m here, I want to know I’m part of something. I feel that on Sundays, most of the time. But the rest of the week, not so much. I’m not sure what the answer is, but I was grateful today to be able to hang out with a friend and her daughters. It was unplanned and unscheduled, but it was fun to connect, even though we were just “being.”
— My husband and I accepted a challenge this week, thanks to One Extraordinary Marriage, http://www.oneextraordinarymarriage.com. It’s totally out of my comfort zone, but I’m learning that I’ll do anything to strengthen my marriage. We’ve only been married three years, and while I know there is a cord holding us together (Ecclesiastes 4:12), sometimes that cord feels more like a kite string than a rope. I’m excited to see what’s changed after a week.
— I’ve been struggling with disappointment over things I thought should have happened but haven’t. I believe that God is in control and will not fail us, but acting on that belief isn’t always easy. I need to tear up my agenda for our lives and submit to His leading. Ugh. I can hardly even type that without throwing an internal tantrum.
I could probably go on, but my Swiss cheese mommy brain needs a break and can only think, “Oh, the laundry’s done,” and “It’s time for a snack!” And maybe I’ll listen to my Father for once and turn in early for some much-needed rest.
A life ended yesterday, a life I didn’t know well but can’t help but mourn.
Death is so common yet so surprising when it happens. We all know it’ll come to us someday. None of us can escape it, but until an “unexpected” death happens, we forget that for any of us, any day could be our last.
This death hit home because he was not much older than my parents. And he was a church leader. And he was a husband to a wife, father to children.
I believe God knows the time each of us will die, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying that someday my husband won’t come home from work or one of us will get cancer or whatever else I can (and try not to) imagine might bring death to our door.
I take for granted that I’ll have another day. Sometimes I put off till tomorrow what I should do now, thinking I’ll always have time. While processing through the death of this man, I urgently want to do practical things like buy a life insurance policy and create a will so my children will be taken care of if my husband and I die while they are young.
More importantly, I want to do everything God wants me to do when He wants me to do it. To stop slacking as a Christian and seek Him with all that I am, eager to obey.
We just watched an episode of “Biggest Loser” where the final four contestants had to run a marathon as their last challenge. I’m not a runner nor do I want to be, but I noticed something about these people as they approached the finish line.
They were tired from having run 26+ miles, but when they saw the finish line, some of them sprinted. Somewhere within them, they found an extra burst of energy to carry them across the finish line. They didn’t want to limp or drag or walk across the finish line; they intended to run and finish well.
The apostle Paul encouraged the early church with running metaphors. This verse came to mind as I watched the show: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” (1 Corinithians 9:24, NIV)
Only one Biggest Loser contestant could finish first, but all who finished received a prize. For the Christian, there is no first or last, but all who finish will be rewarded. I don’t want to be found limping, crawling or walking toward my heavenly reward. I want to run!
Being tired is no excuse. Again, Paul said to the early believers:
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9, NIV)
I don’t consider myself old by any means, but I know that I am getting older and that tomorrow is no guarantee. Tragedies like yesterday’s, though, cement that reality in my mind.
And I think of these words from James:
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (James 4:13-14)
I’m guilty of planning ahead, of thinking about what will happen in our lives tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. I want to be prepared, but I’ve learned to expect the unexpected when it comes to God. At the same time, I know I can expect to die sometime, so I should leave nothing unsaid, nothing undone that God wants me to say or do.
I know that if I fail, that won’t keep me from heaven, but I want to end each day knowing that I did what God wanted and if it was His choosing to take me, I’d be ready.
Others who knew him better have said this man lived that way, that he was ready. So, really, his life didn’t end yesterday; it’s just beginning.
Knowing that for certain is the most important thing.
Lisa Bartelt is a participant in the Bluehost Affiliate Program.
Occasionally, I review books in exchange for a free copy. Opinions are my own and are not guaranteed positive simply due to the receipt of a free copy.