Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Cinderella Mom

If you think Jesus would have come into your home that day and not issued a strong rebuke to the head of household, you are mistaken. These words of condemnation have been haunting me for days now. They aren’t all that different than the soundtrack I play in my head on an almost-daily basis. It’s…

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This is 40

I am nesting. On Saturday I emptied the refrigerator. Last summer’s homemade pickles in their jars. The bread ends that seem to multiply on every shelf. The eggs. The milk. The fruit and veggies. All of it sat on the floor or the counter as I carefully removed the shelves and wiped them down with…

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Beauty on the Backroads {or Why I Changed the Name of my Blog}

I’ve heard that life is like a highway. And it definitely seems like that sometimes. The pace of life swirls around me at dizzying speeds. We’re all so busy. In such a hurry. Always somewhere to be, something else to do. I’m a get-to-the-point, get-there-quick kind of girl. I don’t like to waste time on…

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Togetherness

Day 6. Most weeks, Fridays are family days. Phil’s done with classes for the week and has fewer obligations during the day, so to “celebrate” another week passed, we tend to spend the day together until he has to go to work that night.

Today, the kids and I spent the day together but mostly indoors because I’m still not 100 percent over this flu bug, whatever it is. My MIL did come to the rescue, though, for part of the morning, and took Isabelle outside to play while it was still nice.

I know a week isn’t a long time, and we’ve been sick for most of the week, but I feel like my husband is missing out. With his school and work schedule, he’s able to be around the kids often during the day, so he sees a lot of their everyday behavior and changes. I feel like we’re making memories without him, even if we’re not doing anything monumental.

A few days ago, I walked through Amboy, the town where much of our courtship took place, and even though it’s been more than three years, the memories of those days came flooding back. I remembered walks we’d taken together, and trips to the pharmacy to have a Green River float from the soda fountain there. It was like no time had passed at all.

I have great memories of our dating years, but in the midst of our present life, they’ve slipped to the back, only to be brought to the front by a return to the scene. In the coming weeks, the kids and I are going to have lots of experiences my husband won’t be able to share with us, and although I know this is the way life has to be right now, I’m not exactly happy about it.

My husband spent a year in Iraq, before we were married, and I felt like my life was on hold. I tried to do more than just work and sleep, but at times I felt guilty for doing things without him. I didn’t eat out much or see many movies. I do not envy the families who have to endure this day in, day out, for a year or more.

So, I will count my blessings and try not to feel guilty if we have fun without him. And I’ll pray for many, many memories to come.

Expectation

Day 5. The days seem longer while we’re apart. Without him, I feel like I have less to look forward to. Most days, when we’re all in the same state, no matter what happens, I still have the hope of seeing my husband and spending time with him at the end of the day. Even if we’re just watching TV together, much of what gets me through the day is this expectation of seeing him at the end of the day.

It’s like my reward at the end of the day. And I’m a little lost without it.