Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Cinderella Mom

If you think Jesus would have come into your home that day and not issued a strong rebuke to the head of household, you are mistaken. These words of condemnation have been haunting me for days now. They aren’t all that different than the soundtrack I play in my head on an almost-daily basis. It’s…

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This is 40

I am nesting. On Saturday I emptied the refrigerator. Last summer’s homemade pickles in their jars. The bread ends that seem to multiply on every shelf. The eggs. The milk. The fruit and veggies. All of it sat on the floor or the counter as I carefully removed the shelves and wiped them down with…

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Beauty on the Backroads {or Why I Changed the Name of my Blog}

I’ve heard that life is like a highway. And it definitely seems like that sometimes. The pace of life swirls around me at dizzying speeds. We’re all so busy. In such a hurry. Always somewhere to be, something else to do. I’m a get-to-the-point, get-there-quick kind of girl. I don’t like to waste time on…

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Hey, Jealousy

A newspaper I used to work for recently learned that it would be receiving nearly 30 state-level awards for its division in annual newspaper contests. When I worked there, we were usually proud of ourselves if we made it to double-digits total.

I admit, a twinge of jealousy sprung up in me and for a moment I wanted to be part of that staff, relishing in the recognition by your state-wide peers of a job well done.
And it got me wondering, is jealousy a sin? Can it be a good thing? And is there a difference between jealousy and envy?
I think we have a tendency to use the two words interchangeably, and I’m wondering if this isn’t a mistake.
Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, www.m-w.com, defines the two words this way:
envy – n. – painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage
jealous – adj. – intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness; disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness; hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage; vigilant in guarding a possession
The Bible describes God as a jealous god (Exodus 20:5 and 34:14, to name two places), and since God can’t sin, then jealousy, as first defined, must be a good thing. After all, if my husband were to show favor to another woman — the sort of favor that is supposed to be reserved for me as his wife, then I would have a right to be jealous.
Envy, on the other hand, seems to appear most often in “do not” commands or in a list of other sins. For example, Jesus says in Mark 7:21-23: “For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man ‘unclean’.” (Emphasis added.)


In the oft-quoted “love” passage of 1 Corinthians 13, we’re told that envy is something love does not do. If I love another person, I won’t secretly, or openly, pine for what they have, like well-behaved children, a comfortable home or a new car.
I don’t think I resent my former newspaper for winning all these awards. In fact, I’m thrilled for them. I’m just sad that I’m not a part of it. So does that make me envious? Or can I still say I’m jealous because I still feel some ownership and investment in a place I spent seven years of my working life?
How about you? Is there anything you’re jealous for or envious of? Let’s pray for wisdom in discerning the difference between these two closely related-yet-not-interchangeable words to describe this emotion.
And if you have any insight on this subject, I’d love to hear it, because I sort of feel like I may be more confused now than I was when I started!

Rusty tools

Just before we left for Illinois this last time, my husband, while changing the air filters in our car, discovered that his tools, which he keeps in the trunk of the car, had rusted a bit. The tools are less than 3 years old (a wedding/shower gift, I think, for him) and maybe aren’t top of the line, but still, they’re pretty good quality. Obviously, they’re not an everyday use sort of item or we’d have discovered the rust before now.

This summer, I was getting back on track with Bible reading and prayer time, mostly because my husband had night classes and other obligations that took him out of the house for hours at a time after Isabelle went to sleep at night. Then, we went to visit family and that whole routine went out the window. Now that we’re back, I’m finding it hard to get back into the groove. Isabelle’s sleeping later in the morning, so as a result, I am, too. My husband’s classes just started today, and his weekend job will provide those alone-time hours again soon, but I feel like my faith tools have been locked away in a trunk, only to be pulled out in an emergency, and now they’re rusty.
I don’t have a clue what to do to refurbish my husband’s rusty tools, and I’m almost as clueless about how to polish up my faith. But I know that without the daily use of the tools God gives us to survive in this world, I’m gonna fall apart.
Just an example from this week: I’m now 26 weeks pregnant, and the baby is moving consistently, which gives me great peace of mind. But I’m to the point of pregnancy where I’m now expecting that this child will be born, and I’m afraid something terrible will happen between now and then, making the loss even greater. Not that losing a pregnancy in the early months is easy, I’m sure … I know not of what I speak and won’t pretend to … but this is where I’m at with my worries and fears. They are fine-tuned, for sure, and I wish for a reversal — that somewhere along the line I would forget how to worry and fear and automatically exercise my faith in a tough situation.
I guess it’s a battle of will. The house is quiet now, so I should take the time while I have it. I think of Paul and his struggles and I’m encouraged: “For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15, NASB)
Time to make the tools useful again.