If you think Jesus would have come into your home that day and not issued a strong rebuke to the head of household, you are mistaken. These words of condemnation have been haunting me for days now. They aren’t all that different than the soundtrack I play in my head on an almost-daily basis. It’s…
The best-laid plans
One of summer’s most redeeming qualities is baseball. I realize this is a statement not everyone will agree with, and I’m only sorry for those of you who don’t recognize the beauty of baseball or haven’t enjoyed it as pleasurable leisure. (You might identify more with the girls who were sitting next to us at a local game recently. Two innings of play were on the scoreboard and one team had already notched two runs. “Did the game start?” one of them asked. I sigh and shake my head.)
Summer is our family’s best opportunity to see a baseball game live at a ballpark, and I always say there’s no bad day at a ballpark, even if the team we’re there to cheer loses. I love the entire atmosphere of a baseball game in a professional (or minor league) stadium. It’s as much home to me as the town where I was raised. I can’t explain it. My husband and I are both lovers of the game and we try to take our kids at least once a year to see our favorite team, the Cubs. Living 800 miles from the stadium they call home presents a challenge, but we find a way.
Earlier this summer, we caught the team in Pittsburgh and were able to attend the game with friends. It was a fun memory, especially since the score was lopsided in our team’s favor. Because my husband has a lifetime goal of visiting every MLB stadium, we thought we’d try to squeeze in a second game (and another new-to-us stadium) this year when the Cubs came to D.C. to play the Nationals.
It’s been on our calendar for months and last week I finally bought the tickets–cheap outfield seats. We planned our day around the game, hoping to wake up early enough to drive to a train station on the outskirts of the city, ride the train into the city and see some of the D.C. sights we haven’t seen with our kids yet.
This was all according to plan. And then the rain came. The whole weekend series was affected by rain, and the closer we got to Sunday morning, the more dread and despair we felt. Seeing a ball game was looking less and less likely.
But we had already planned to go into the city, so we woke up, took our time getting ready, and by 10:30 we were walking the water-soaked streets of D.C. in search of the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History. I mean, the museums are free once you get to the city, so what better way to spend time indoors than looking at collections of stuff and learning facts? (This is pretty much the only way, in my book.)
Our almost-nine-year-old had a one track mind: dinosaurs. He wanted to see all the dinosaurs. Fossils. Bones. If he could have crawled inside the mouth of a T-Rex, he probably would have done it. (He left with a souvenir brachiosaurus that clips to his backpack. The dino’s name is Broccoli.) After briefly exploring the ocean exhibits, we headed upstairs to where the dinosaurs were kept. After that, he turned his attention to mummies, and since our daughter was not at all interested in that, we split up and she and I headed to the rocks, gems and minerals. In fourth-grade, she started learning about this subject and they’re revisiting it in fifth-grade. She was awed by the diversity of specimens (so was I) and the colors were breathtaking. At one point, while reading about the Argyle Diamond Mine in Australia, an Australian man standing next to us said, “Fun fact” and then offered us a fun fact about the mine. It is the highlight of my interaction with humanity at the museum and he is the only person I would add to my “People I Would Want to Travel With” list.
As we wound our way through the exhibits, our destination was the Hope Diamond, where we’d agreed to meet the other half of our family. (“Meet me at the Hope Diamond” sounds like something Nicholas Cage would say or do. DC tourism idea: The Nic Cage Capital Experience. No stealing of The Declaration of Independence would actually take place.)
I’ve heard a lot about the Hope Diamond in my day. Probably from movies. It is brilliant and stunning and some people who were viewing it at the same time as us thought it was unimpressive. (I have another entire blog post to write on how we’ve lost our sense of awe and wonder. SMH.)
We covered most of the second floor when it was time to start thinking about lunch. In our original plan, we would have been at the ballpark by lunchtime, eating overpriced (but tasty!) food. But it was still raining and the game, we were certain, was not going to start on time. When we’re traveling, we like to try new places for meals or at the very least eat at a place we can’t eat at regularly where we live. My husband is the expert searcher of Google for restaurants, so he did that while I took my kids into the gems and minerals gift shop and told them “no” seven thousand times about buying a $10 bag of rocks to take home. (I realize I am not using the proper terminology at all, but please understand that our backyard and driveway are full of rocks. You can dig them up for free, kids!)
On our way out of the museum, we stopped at the main gift shop. We often bring home a jigsaw puzzle from our travels, so we’re always on the lookout. (Have I told you about this? I need to post a picture soon of the haul we brought in this summer.) Nothing caught our eye in the puzzle department, but the aforementioned dinosaur was a keeper as were the sparkly dolphin earrings.
Soon enough, we were back out in the rain, headed to a restaurant I can only describe as a global Panera. It’s called Cosi (accent on the “i” but I’m not fancy enough to figure out how to do that on my computer) and it was just what we needed to refuel and reset our plan for the rest of the day. We had soup and salad and more flatbread than we knew what to do with. It was wholesome nourishment, which is becoming more and more important to me. I can’t ingest much of the greasy, quick foods anymore. We rested and ate and watched people pass by in parkas and huddled under umbrellas. The city doesn’t stop for weather of any kind.
We monitored the baseball game situation and as it became less and less likely that the game was going to start soon, we decided to brave the elements for a short walk to the National Portrait Gallery. This was my museum choice for the day. I wanted to see the presidential portraits and even though I’m not a visual artist, there’s something about art that evokes feelings in me. I love it. And I don’t think I’ve been to many since the kids were born. It would be their first real visit to an art museum, too.
On the way, we passed Ford’s Theatre and that’s definitely on the list for next time. We hadn’t researched any national park sites to visit (I mean, ones that we haven’t already seen in D.C.) because we didn’t think we’d have much time in D.C. outside of the game. When we got to the gallery, we were directed to free lockers to stash our stuff, which is really the best way, if you can swing it because backpacks-plus-art=potential for disaster. I did not want to be the cause of a national incident involving artwork. (I will tell you that we did get scolded at one point because the kids touched a map trying to point out Lancaster and Dixon. I’m always so embarrassed when we have to be told to follow the rules. Thankfully, we were not asked to leave, but I am rethinking whether I can bring my kids to another art museum!)
I don’t know if I can describe to you what it was like to see portraits of all the presidents. It was educational and inspiring. But I can tell you that I was most moved by the first-floor exhibit “Unseen: Our Past in a New Light” which was in some ways shocking (in a good way) and also moving. A collection of photographs of lynchings in which the victims had been removed nearly brought me to tears as I studied the groups of people remaining in the photos. My husband and I spent a lot of time on the way home talking about this exhibit and our own growing understanding of how deep is the racial divide in our country.
Hours at the art gallery. So much to see. My eyes started to hurt and our backs were achy with all the walking and standing. Finally, we got the official word that the game had been postponed to a day later in the week, and the disappointment that had sort of been hovering all day, dropped onto me. I suddenly wanted to categorize our day as “terrible” when in fact it had been like a normal day trip–full of fun, adventure, some whining, but overall good memories.
The gift shop here didn’t offer any puzzle prospects that we liked, but we did see a puzzle we already owned, which made us wonder if the artwork from that puzzle was on display at the museum. Sure enough, it was. So, technically that counts, even though we bought it elsewhere.
We headed back to the lockers to retrieve our stuff, only to find one of the two lockers we were using wouldn’t open. Apparently it had been a problem earlier in the day, and it was no big deal to get our stuff back. We left the Portrait Gallery for the nearest train station and rode back to our car, where we made a plan for dinner. We ended up at a Potbelly for more soup and other warm comfort foods before heading home in more rain.
It’s the next day and we’re tired, and we’re probably going to lose the money we spent on the baseball tickets unless weather from Hurricane Florence cancels the game for certain. (I am not hoping for this or anything. Hurricanes are serious business.) But we spent a day in D.C. at two museums that were time well spent. There will always be more baseball.
I’m learning to be more flexible when things don’t go the way I plan. Because sometimes the adventure is waiting just outside the plan’s parameters. I’m vowing to make memories no matter what happens.
The secret life of an introvert
This week, I talked on the phone three times. On purpose.
Maybe this is no big deal to you, but it’s a very big deal for someone like me who could text, e-mail or message for hours but who can’t pick up the phone for an unknown number if her life depended on it. Sometimes, I have to give myself a pep talk or make a promise like “After you make this call, you can go lie down and read” before I dial a number. Sometimes I have to rehearse what I’m going to say, and if a question on the other end deviates from my script, well, then things get awkward.
So, let me tell you about these phone calls. The first one was about a book a friend and I are both reading and it started as a video call but because of technology it turned into a regular phone call. This friend and I are reconnecting over some shared struggles and beliefs and we talked for well over an hour at night after our kids were in bed. It was so fulfilling I had trouble winding down and going to sleep.
A few nights later, I called the most extroverted person I know and we talked for TWO HOURS, sometimes rehashing the same things we were talking about an hour earlier, but it was another conversation that flowed without ceasing and left me feeling full and satisfied. (The third phone call was because my computer was acting up. I don’t like to make calls to customer service centers, but for my computer, I’d do just about anything.)
By the end of the week, though, I needed a nap.
This is one of the many mysteries of my introverted life.
It’s actually not so mysterious to other introverts. We sort of understand each other and the need to recharge after social interactions. In the past, I think I have misrepresented myself and other introverts by loudly declaring how much I don’t like people, but what I meant to say is I can only take so much “peopling” and then I need to crawl into my den of hibernation and come back out when I feel ready. This can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. (On rare occasions, it is a full day.)
Not only did I participate willingly in these phone calls, I also hosted a Labor Day get together with a couple of families from church. This is no small feat on the last day of a four-day weekend when I’ve been home with my children the WHOLE TIME. Exhibit A: On Sunday, day three of four-day weekend, I threw my phone down and yelled, “Why are there always people in every room I’m in?” or something equally disparaging. (I love my family. I do. But please find another room of the house to be in. Can I get an “amen” from some other introverts?)
More and more I’m finding a lot of joy in opening our home to people. It takes a lot of pre-work such as cleaning and making food, and sometimes it takes a lot of post-work, such as an early bedtime, but it’s always such fun, especially when I can make it as low-key as possible. I cannot be the center of attention, but I’m learning that I thrive at bringing people together and watching them make magic in their conversations and enjoyment of being together.
This is a new discovery for me–the idea that me, an introvert, someone who likes to fade into the background and virtually disappear can have an important role in life and society. The extroverts always get the attention, which sometimes is interpreted as them being more important. But I’d venture a guess that for all the extroverts out there getting attention, there are at least a dozen introverts making a quiet impact on the world around them.
We’re not flashy, but we can light the world up when we want to.
Confession: I don’t always want to. Mostly because I don’t want to leave my house. And I’m not saying it’s a requirement that to make a difference in the world I have to leave my house, but there is a lot of potential “out there” and the more I embrace my place in the world, the easier it is to leave what’s comfortable. For a time.
(I could also call this section of the post “yes, I’m an introvert who has a job outside my house and loves it.”)
I was a quiet kid in school so I’m drawn to the quiet kids. And that’s a good thing. I used to think I couldn’t work with kids of any age because I spent a couple of weeks over several summers being a camp counselor–a position that was highly extroverted that I never quite fit–and all I wanted to do was get to know kids one-on-one or sit on the sidelines with the ones who didn’t want to play the goofy games. I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t interested in being a wacky personality for the week.
Turns out, the quiet introverted kids need leaders and role models like them. I sure did when I was their age. Now I know that it’s a unique role I can play in the world around me. Not everyone has to be loud and exciting all the time. I consider myself a calm and steady presence.
It’s no longer such a mystery to me why I am the way I am. I’m learning to love it and lean in to it and do what I need to be the best version of me. (I’m not ignoring your call or text, I’m recharging. #sorrynotsorry)
Sometimes us introverts are seen as moody or stuck-up or angry or I don’t know, other unfriendly terms. (I know I have a serious case of RBF–look it up if you don’t know–that makes me unapproachable sometimes.) Really, though, I’m just often looking for the most comfortable situation to be in, or I’m thinking about a conversation I had with someone 24 hours ago. Or a week ago. My face might not have anything to do with the present moment. (This is another mystery–a contradiction, really. Presence is one of my gifts but I can also be totally absent from what’s going on right in front of me because of what’s going on in my mind.)
I’m not sure I really have a neat and tidy point to this whole post. I’m not really in a season where I feel like I have any of those to offer anyway. I guess if I did it would be to love your introvert friends even when they seem like they’re avoiding you. And maybe don’t be afraid to be the one to draw them out of their comfortable shells.
We’re not as scary as we look.