Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

addiction

For the addict in all of us: Review of Coming Clean by Seth Haines

Addiction of any kind is not an easy topic for conversation, but Seth Haines draws us into one anyway with courage, vulnerability and grace.

coming cleanComing Clean is a journal of Seth’s first 90 days of sobriety from alcohol. But it’s also an outstretched hand of invitation to learn the way of inner sobriety from whatever dulls the pains of life’s hurts. (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher through the Booklook Bloggers program in exchange for my review.)

I wouldn’t identify myself as an addict, but Seth’s premise is that we’re all drunk on something. We’re all looking for something to numb the pains and realities of life. And after reading through his journey, I’m convinced that I have some work to do in my life. What do I use to numb the pain? What is my escape? And who do I need to forgive?

This is a hard book to read. It’s readable. That’s not what I mean. But it’s challenging and I found myself susceptible to tears for almost no reason after I finished the book. Without forcing it, Seth issues challenges through his own journey for all who want to live a life free and full of love.

I’m not sure I’ve read anything more vulnerable, and I’m not sure five stars is enough.

Having an addiction is one thing. Admitting it is another. Fighting through it yet another. And seeking the source, what’s underneath the addiction, is hard but gratifying work.

You don’t have to be an addict or love one to appreciate this book. But you just might find yourself identifying. Maybe there’s an addict in all of us. Maybe we’re all just covering up the pain.

There are too many coping mechanisms to list. You know this. Right?

The bottle is not the thing. The addiction is not the thing. The pain is the thing.

The jig is up. My cover-up  is threadbare. I can hide no longer. Not even from myself. (p. 71)

Approach with caution. Yet have no fear.

Pearl Girls' 12 Pearls of Christmas: New Beginnings by Sharron Cosby

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Welcome to the 12 Pearls of Christmas blog series!

Merry Christmas from Pearl Girls™! We hope you enjoy these Christmas “Pearls of Wisdom” from the authors who were so kind to donate their time and talents! If you miss a few posts, you’ll be able go back through and read them on this blog throughout the next few days.

We’re giving away a pearl necklace in celebration of the holidays, as well as some items from the contributors! Enter now below. The winner will be announced on January 2, 2014, at the Pearl Girls blog.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info and see what we’re all about. In short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Mother of Pearl, Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit, Experiencing Grace, or one of the Pearl Girls products (all GREAT gifts!) to help support Pearl Girls.

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New Beginnings
by Sharron Cosby

Christmas. The mere mention of the word sends thoughts and memories skittering like a box of spilled ornaments. Some roll toward sweet remembrances of times shared with family. Others bounce to the let’s-not-go-there corner of our minds.

I recall Christmas 2009. The one I wanted to cancel. My only son is an addict, and this was his worst year ever. I had convinced myself it would be his last, assuming he would be in prison or dead by the next Christmas. I told my daughters we would exchange gifts and have our usual holiday dinner, but no tree or decorations. I couldn’t dredge up the emotional energy to plaster contrived cheer around the house.

I’m usually the decorator, gift purchaser, food preparer, and mess cleaner-upper. Executing the necessary holiday tasks takes time and effort. Worrying about my son had left me drained of the required get-up-and-go. I couldn’t do it. Thank goodness for online shopping; at least there would be presents to hand out.

My pastor’s message four days before Christmas cut straight through my Scrooge-like attitude. His sermon points were: The holidays are too much trouble, count your blessings, and forgive someone.

Considering Christmas too much trouble reflects a selfish attitude, according to my pastor. What if Jesus had thought that way? My icy heart began to thaw.

The second point, count your blessings, stopped me dead in my tracks. Count blessings with a broken heart? I considered my husband’s love and my two daughters who have stood by their brother. I smiled as I pictured the faces of my four grandsons and the joy they brought our family. Yes, I had many blessings to number.

The third was the hardest: forgiveness. Forgive my son for the pain and suffering he had caused? “God, you can’t be serious,” I protested. “We’ve spent thousands of dollars on him, he’s broken our hearts, and he’s in worse shape than ever before.”

“Forgive him,” the Spirit whispered.

Tears slid down my face as I chose to forgive my son. No strings attached.

After church I headed home with a changed attitude. When my husband left for work, I retrieved the ornaments, dragged the Christmas tree from the garage, and set it up, my gift to the family. Decorating our tree with the children’s handmade ornaments is always a joint project, but that day I worked alone. I held the clothespin reindeers, popsicle stick picture frames, and monogramed angels and remembered the good times.

With tear-filled eyes, I watched as amazement etched the faces of my daughters when they came to our home Christmas morning and saw the decorated tree. “Mom! You put up the tree after all,” they said.

The biggest surprise of the day came when our daughter’s boyfriend knelt in front of her and asked, “Will you marry me?”

The discouragement of addiction was replaced with the joy of new beginnings, which is, after all, the message of the Christ Child.

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Sharron Cosby has been married to Dan for thirty-nine years, is Mom to three adult children and “Mimi” to five grandchildren. Her family was rocked by her son’s drug addiction for fifteen years until he laid it down on February 18, 2010. She uses her life experiences to offer hope and encouragement to families caught in the chaos of addiction. Sharron is available to speak to groups on addiction related topics. Sharron recently published her first book, Praying for Your Addicted Loved One: 90 in 90, a ninety day devotional for families in recovery or those wanting to be. Receive weekly encouragement at her blog, www.efamilyrecovery.com, and Twitter @sharroncosby or contact her at moc.liamg@ybsocnorrahs.

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