Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

adoption

A story 80 years in the making: Review of The Waiting by Cathy LaGrow

In 1928, a 16-year-old girl was assaulted in the woods by a stranger while attending a picnic. Months later she learned she was pregnant. Sent away to live, first, with relatives and then at a Lutheran home for unwed mothers, the girl became a mother faced with a choice: give her daughter up for adoption to a family or keep her and live with the stigma of being a single mother.

She’d carry the decision to give up her daughter, whom she named Betty Jane, mostly in secret for almost 80 years. And then a miracle answer to prayer: a phone call would reunite the two women and renew a relationship that even eight decades couldn’t destroy.

the waitingThis is the story of The Waiting, a debut book by Cathy LaGrow, whose grandmother is the woman, Minka, who gave up the child and on her daughter’s 77th birthday prayed for a chance to see her baby girl one more time. (Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book from Tyndale House Publishers through the Tyndale Blog Network in exchange for my review.)

So much more than a family history, The Waiting is a stunning narrative that reads like a novel. (It could be a movie and we’d all be ugly crying. It’s that good.) LaGrow, and contributor Cindy Coloma, have pieced together a story that spans almost a century, thousands of miles and two families connected by blood but with no idea either existed.

I was impressed with the details and meticulous research, the emotions that practically jumped off the page. I could see the story unfold, and I’m so grateful for this family sharing their lives and the incredible way God brought together all things for good.

I was moved to tears and had to set the book down a few times for fear that if I engaged fully, I’d be unable to go on with my day. Steadfast love, forgiveness, sacrifice and so.much.joy make up the overall themes of this story.

By the end, I wanted to meet Minka, a remarkable woman of 100 years whose vigor, patience and dedication are inspiring. A story like hers could have easily died with her and reminded me of the importance of sharing stories across generations.

You can read the first chapter here. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. You’ll want to keep reading.

It’s hard to imagine a woman living such a full life in spite of the crushing loss. And it’s harder to imagine that God could bring such beauty out of the brokenness. But she did and He did and The Waiting tells it beautifully.

 

How to care for the least: Review of Orphan Justice by Johnny Carr

In one of my favorite movies, Ever After (a Cinderella adaptation), the prince, who is being influenced by the lady’s passion for equality and the poor, says these words: “I used to think that if I cared about one thing, I’d have to care about everything.”

I confess, my attitude toward adoption and caring for the world’s orphans has resembled those words. I love children, and the idea that there are children literally starving to death and dying from preventable diseases anywhere in the world breaks my heart. And I have been reluctant to open my heart to that kind of pain, afraid that I would become discouraged that I can’t take them all home, love them like they ought to be loved, or provide for all their basic needs.

So, I’m encouraged by a new book that challenges the Church’s attitude about orphans and adoption, as well as offers varied ways the Church can be involved in orphan care, not only through adoption.

orphan justiceIn Orphan Justice: How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting, Johnny Carr, who works for the largest adoption and orphan care agency in the U.S., presents a case for the Church to do its part to care for orphaned children, domestically and globally. And he isn’t always nice about it.

Nor should he be.

From the beginning of the book, Carr lays out the problem–153 million kids worldwide who have lost one or both parents, which is twice the total number of children in the U.S.–and reveals his own journey from American Dreamer to Orphan Advocate.

Every time I heard about missionaries digging clean wells, working with HIV/AIDS patients, or trying to alleviate poverty, I rolled my eyes. Why are they wasting their time? I thought. Don’t they know that the gospel is what really counts? … But now as I look back, I see how narrow-minded I was. … I didn’t realize I was missing the true meaning of religion–one that includes BOTH sharing the gospel and meeting people’s physical needs.

Carr and his wife have adopted three children with special needs, and throughout the book, he readily admits his own struggles to care about children with special needs, much less make them part of his family. And I think that’s a strength of this book. Carr’s journey is one many of us can relate to: of wanting to serve God only when it suits us, then being transformed by the real-life plight of those in extreme poverty.

Each chapter addresses an issue related to orphan care, such as human trafficking, orphanages, foster care, and poverty. Carr writes about the impact each of these areas has on the worldwide orphan population and gives ideas of what churches and Christians can do to care for orphans. At the end of each chapter is a three-tiered approach to getting involved, offering ideas that anyone can do, many can do, and a few can do. I appreciate this because Carr doesn’t assume that everyone can contribute at the same level, but he doesn’t let anyone off the hook for getting involved.

Overall, I found Orphan Justice to be informative and inspiring. I learned more about orphan care, including the idea that orphanages are not a “solution” and how churches can support adoptive families and families involved with the foster care system. My “social justice” beliefs are under development and the principles and stories in this book have helped with that development.

I no longer fear a broken heart when confronted with the realities of caring for the least of these. Equipped with practical insight such as is found in this book, I’m more ready to take the risk and be involved in orphan care.

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In exchange for this review, I was given a copy of Orphan Justice.