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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

birthdays

5 on Friday: Meaningful gifts I've received

May 3, 2013

My birthday is tomorrow. Which got me thinking about gifts. Not because I’m totally gift-focused because I’m not. Receiving gifts actually stresses me out a little bit because I’m not good at giving an instant reaction. My thanks is better expressed in how I use the gift than in the exact moment I receive it.

Photo courtesy of Stock Exchange | www.sxc.hu

Photo courtesy of Stock Exchange | www.sxc.hu

Here are some memorable gifts I didn’t ask for that touched my heart. (Please don’t be offended if you’ve given me a gift and it’s not mentioned here. These are the first five that came to mind and they aren’t all birthday gifts. The danger of making a short list is leaving someone out.)

1. A pink Columbia brand fleece jacket. The first Christmas Phil and I celebrated as a couple, this was his gift. I remember how excited he was to give it to me, and it is still my go-to outerwear in spring, fall and sometimes winter. My husband is great at giving gifts. I could spend an entire post on the best gifts he’s given me, but I’d probably lose readers.

2. The Book of Common Prayer. A couple from church gifted this to us as we’ve expressed an interest and love for liturgy, the church calendar and the use of the lectionary. I have used this book almost daily for months, and it continues to touch my heart because it is a gift I would have never thought to ask for from people who haven’t known us long but were thoughtful enough to present us with a gift we will cherish.

3. An ice scraper and a spray-on window defroster for my car. In the early days of my relationship with Phil, we spent a lot of time at each other’s houses, often driving home in winter in the dark, when northern Illinois temperatures drop below freezing and leave frost on the windshield. One night, Phil’s brother and the woman who would become his wife, gave me this gift to ease the process of driving home in winter. It was especially meaningful because at the time, our relationship was not strong nor was I terribly kind or loving toward them. Over the years, that has changed and I’ve learned that they, too, are exceptional gift givers.

4. An all-expenses-paid trip to a writers conference in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. I will forever remember the generosity of a couple from my hometown who saw an advertisement for this conference and felt led to pay  my way. I had never considered going to a writers conference. I was working as a journalist at the time with no concrete writing dreams beyond what I was doing. It was a stretching experience for me as I drove the whole way by myself, took in some sight-seeing on the way back and let God open my world to the opportunities in Christian publishing. It was a life-changer for me, and I consider it an investment that has yet to accomplish its full return.

5. A royal wedding tea cup. When Prince William and Kate Middleton got married, my English friend and pen pal sent me a tea cup with their pictures on it. I was having sort of a blah day when it arrived and I was so tickled because of the uniqueness of the gift.

This is a small slice of the meaningful gifts I’ve received over the years, and recalling them makes me feel blessed to have special people in my life. It also challenges me to take more notice of my loved ones and find gifts that would be meaningful to them.

How about you? What meaningful gifts have you received?

Filed Under: 5 on Friday, faith & spirituality, Friendship, holidays Tagged With: birthdays, blue ridge mountains, book of common prayer, Columbia fleece jackets, meaningful gifts, relationships, royal wedding, writers conference

Saturday smiles: Orange birthday edition

December 1, 2012

Our son turns 3 tomorrow and in his short little lifetime, he’s turned our world upside-down. I thought bringing one baby into our lives was a major transition, but when our son made us a family of four, we began a fast-paced, tiring exhausting season of parenting that shows no signs of slowing down.

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Wearing orange on his first birthday.

Wearing orange on his first birthday.

I don’t know when his fascination with orange began, but it is by far his favorite color. So our birthday theme is orange. Orange cake, orange ice cream, orange plates and napkins. Maybe one of the easiest cake requests for one of the kids’ birthdays I’ve had. So, for our son’s third birthday, I dedicate this week’s Saturday smiles to him, with these three thoughts.

1. He stole my heart from day 1. I once wondered if I had enough love in my heart for two kids. I had nothing to worry about. I love our daughter and can hardly remember what life was like before her birth, and she’s unique and funny and creative. As much as I love her, I love our son differently. We share a similar temperament and personality at times. He’s a little more reserved in social situations. He can just sit with me and not have to be entertained or talked to. I try not to play favorites, but I know I can be much more of a softie with our son than with our daughter. I can’t explain the mother-son bond, and I hope I’m not turning him into the wrong kind of Mama’s Boy. We do need our space from each other, though. If he doesn’t nap, I’m super worn out by the end of the day.

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2. He makes me appreciate my brother. I’m the older sister, and seeing my daughter live this role, and given the truths posted in No. 1, I now have much more sympathy for the unfortunate life of the younger brother. (I can’t speak for younger sisters or older brothers.) Sometimes, I feel like I need to write an apology letter when I see our daughter treat our son like I’m sure I treated my brother. (If you’re reading this, bro, consider this the apology because I’d be sending you letters once a week, at least.) Being able to see this relationship from the outside makes me more compassionate, I hope, toward those who aren’t the “firsts” in their family.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAnd seriously, our son looks so much like pictures of my brother when he was that age. It’s hard not to compare. And easy to see why siblings born only a few years apart can grow to be friends, not just family.

3. He lets me be wrong. Having a second child meant that I threw out the rule book from the first child, and any other child for that matter. Everything, starting with my pregnancy, was different with him, leading me to believe that there are no 100 percent right answers for how to parent. I was super uptight with our daughter. I’m much more lax with our son. With her, I monitored every. single. milestone to make sure she was tracking for her age. With him, I simply trusted that he was on the right track because frankly, he was keeping up with his sister. Of course, this also means that like a typical second child, there are not as many pictures and I’m pretty sure I haven’t finished his baby book. And maybe I didn’t update his sister’s this year either.

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This kid eats like a champ and plays hard. He’s big but not grotesquely overweight, and I don’t let the WIC nutritionist’s comments bother me like I did with our daughter. (Although I’m secretly dreading his 3-year checkup next week because I know, I know, I know they’re going to say something about him being overweight and for the tiniest of seconds I feel like a failure as a mom. Okay, it passed.) I let him wear dresses when he’s playing with his sister, and he learned to cut with scissors earlier than his sister did. With his sister, I wanted to do everything right to “prove” I was a good mom. There’s still a temptation to do that with him, but most days I just don’t have the energy to live up to anyone else’s expectations, much less my own. I might be doing it wrong, but I’m still doing it.

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Time is flying so fast, and I have a feeling the adventure is only beginning. If the last three years are any clue, then the next three are going to be amaze-BALLs.

Happy birthday, my boy.

Filed Under: Children & motherhood, holidays, Saturday smiles Tagged With: 3 year olds, birthdays, mothers and sons

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