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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

change

5 on Friday: Lessons from the first week of kindergarten

August 30, 2013

So, it was a big week for us. Our daughter started kindergarten.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

And the rest of us got an education in buses, neighbors and a one-child household.

Here are five observations from this week.

  1. My son’s love language is torment. He misses his sister so much he wants to punch her in the face when she gets home. Okay, not quite that, but he did tell me he wanted to scream and chase her when she got home. Apparently if he loves you, he gives you zerberts on your neck (which is basically  just spitting in your general direction) and hits you with his monkey. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  2. School burns calories. The girl who whined every hour that she was hungry now comes home with a half-eaten lunch. But within minutes, she’s devouring the portions she didn’t eat at school. Carrots, grapes, raisins. She eats like she’s never seen food before and then eats a double helping at dinner. Using your brain muscles is hard work.
  3. There still aren’t enough hours in the day. When I first heard the words “all day kindergarten” I wondered what Corban and I were going to do with all our time. Some days this week, I was like, “Wow, we have to meet the bus in an hour and I still haven’t done laundry!” The day still passes pretty quickly.
  4. Community happens. A couple of days into her school year, we saw Izzy’s bus driver at the grocery store, where she works her other job. Yesterday, we met a neighbor kid new to the district who would be riding the bus with her. For the first three days, we were the only ones at the stop. I’m looking forward to meeting other parents and school staff in the coming weeks and months.
  5. Parenting practices exposed. People tell me sometimes that I’m raising her right. I appreciate the encouragement but I don’t always believe it. One day this week, Izzy skipped off the bus and told me she had over half of her lunch left. I asked her why she didn’t eat it, and she told me a story about a girl in her class who wouldn’t stop crying for their teacher at lunch time. “I kept telling her, ‘Calm down.'” We’ve seen glimpses of Izzy’s compassion, so it’s nice to know that it sticks in settings where we can’t see it. A call from the teacher at the end of the week encouraged us that Izzy’s first week was as good as we thought. (P.S. There’s still the potential to get a different kind of call from the teacher. She is Izzy Fierce, after all.)

Filed Under: 5 on Friday, kindergarten Tagged With: adjustment, change, first week of school, parenting practices, schedules

When it's not you, it's me

August 19, 2013

It’s going to be different.

That’s what I think every time change is on the horizon. It’s what I thought a few months ago when I was survival parenting, barely hanging on to sanity by a thread.

Once we’re moved, things will be different.

Now we’re moved. And things aren’t all that different. I’m still frustrated with my kids. I’m yelling more than I’d like. I’m overwhelmed by housework, in serious need of some “me time.”

Where I'd like to spend my "me" time

Where I’d like to spend my “me” time

Once Izzy goes to school, I think, things will be different. It’ll just be me and Corban for the day.

Things will be different.

I’m detecting a pattern here.

I’m pushing through to the next thing, whatever it is, on the promise that once I’m there things will be different in a good way. Yet, when I get there, it’s more of the same.

The common denominator: me.

Circumstances will change. Settings will change. Schedules will change. And all along I’ve been hoping that those changes will be the elusive thing I’m looking for to make life better.

The problem is this: I’m no different in each of these changes. The same frustrations I felt earlier this year I carried with me to our new house. And just because I’ll be less one child come fall doesn’t meant I won’t still be overwhelmed.

I don’t want to keep living as if the next thing to come will be the better thing. I don’t want to say my marriage will be better when the kids are grown because I’ve seen marriages dissolve after that. I don’t want to think that life will be easier when both kids are in school and I’ll have more time to write because I know I can procrastinate with the best of them. I don’t want to hope that by the end of my life I’ll be a better person than I am today without making any effort to change. <Click to tweet>

I’m in danger of becoming bitter about life. Of missing the joy in each day because I think tomorrow, or the next day, or the next year has more potential for joy than right now.

How can these adorable guys not bring joy?

How can these adorable guys not bring joy?

I recently finished reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and I’m feebly attempting to list 1,000 joys I find in the everyday. Maybe I’ll make it by the end of the year. I hope to be changed by the intentional looking for reasons to say “thank you, God.”

It’s a start. I need to change. Not just my setting or my circumstances but me. From the inside out.

Because when I’m honest with God about my life, the old break-up cliche fits: It’s not You; it’s me.

Filed Under: Children & motherhood, faith & spirituality Tagged With: change, one thousand gifts, transformation

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