Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

fear

When I don't want to dance

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA I’m wrestling with these words.

Or maybe I’m wrestling with God.

Either way, he’s put this verse, or a similar message, in my line of sight more than once recently. And you know what that means, right?

I’d better pay attention.

Here’s the thing, though. These words, they don’t make me happy. They don’t bring me comfort.

Because I feel like God’s dropped the ball. Fight for me? I’m not even sure He remembers who I am right now.

So I’m avoiding Him. Sure, I’m reading my Bible regularly like a good little Christian. And I’m going to church. And I’m praying for my food.

But mostly, I’m escaping into books. Reading about fictional troubles and how the characters overcome gives me a break from my own troubles–the ones I can’t fix.

Silly me, to think that reading a novel would exempt me from messages from God.

Because there it was again. This message–The Lord will fight for you–right in the middle of a really good novel.

How rude.

If it was only the first time I’d seen it, I might dismiss it. But it’s the second time this week. And the third in the last few months. Maybe more.

The message is being delivered, but I’m having trouble accepting it. The Lord is strumming a tune I don’t want to dance to.

I’ve been so confused recently about what we’re supposed to do with the situation we’re in. Sometimes I get the feeling we’re supposed to fix it. To take steps of faith. To move on what we feel is God’s leading even though nothing is clear about that process.

Other times, times like these, I get this message: Wait.

Oh, how I hate waiting.

But here I am. Waiting. And hoping the Lord means what He says. That He’s fighting for us. And that He’ll call us into the battle. To advance at His word and not retreat in fear.

Because those options are equally appealing right now.

Like the Israelites, to whom these words were spoken, I feel trapped between a fearful enemy and an uncrossable sea with no apparent way out.

But God made a way. He opened a path where there wasn’t one before.

This, too, is my hope.

Issues? What issues? Review of She's Got Issues by Nicole Unice

I started this book almost two months ago, and I’m usually not a slow reader. But where some books I read are like a bowl of ice cream I gobble up in a few minutes,  She’s Got Issues is like a multi-course meal I wish wouldn’t end. Author Nicole Unice gives us–women, especially–plenty to chew on.

At first glance, I wanted to deny. Issues? What issues? Then I scanned the Table of Contents: fear, anger, insecurity, unforgiveness. Oh. Those issues. The journey into and through your issues, whatever they might be, can be scary, but Unice is like a seasoned travel guide through the darkest valleys. She doesn’t preach from on high. She’s talking to us from the trenches of transformation. Her style is humorous, fresh and real. She doesn’t hide her own struggles, and she doesn’t want us to hide them either.

I started journaling when I began reading, and I’m glad I did. Otherwise, the whole book might be underlined. Unice offers thought-provoking questions, surveys and quizzes, as well as honest prayers. At the end of each chapter is a link (and one of those smartphone doodads) to watch a video related to the chapter. (Yeah, I’m tech savvy.)

Here are some of the truths that have stuck with me:

  • A blessing is the infusion of something with holiness
  • Every woman becomes either beautiful, bitter or beaten (having given up on life) by the time she’s 40. We either face our stuff or we don’t. Six years from the big 4-0, I’m tracking toward bitter or beaten. That’s a hard truth to face, but my eyes are open to how I can face my issues and let God work through them.
  • There’s a Lord for that. I don’t have to hold it all together.
  • Growth is awkward. What if we began to think of our insecurities not as shameful places to hide but as opportunities to see God working in our lives?
  • Secure women know their strengths and aren’t afraid to own them. They also know about their weaknesses and aren’t scared by them. They admit when they’re wrong but don’t beat themselves up. They take risks and fail but try again.
  • When it comes to comparing myself to others or wishing I had someone else’s life, this statement punched me in the gut: The competition is between you and the you God wants you to be. Ignore everybody. Stay in your own lane.
  • Among Christians there is a fear of rage, a surplus of resentment, and a shortage of indignation.
  • Sanctification is about the very interruptions and issues I want to ignore.

Seriously, get a copy of this book. It’s not self-help because Lord knows, I’ve tried to help myself through these things. No, it’s more like a self-can’t-help book. It’s, as the subtitle to the book says, “seriously good news for stressed-out, secretly scared control freaks like us.”

Check out Nicole’s Website, or connect with her on Facebook or Twitter. The book has a DVD curriculum, too, which I’m guessing would be a great Bible study/women’s group resource.