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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

fear

Sick people

November 27, 2010

“Mommy, are people sick here?”

The young boy’s question caught my attention as we sat in the waiting room of the counseling center. I didn’t hear his mother’s answer, but I wondered the same thing myself the first time we went for counseling. The people waiting with us that day looked so normal, I remember thinking. If I’d met any of them on the street, I wouldn’t have thought they needed to see a counselor. People might say the same thing about my husband and me.

We’re not outwardly having problems, but we’re seeing a counselor to help us with our marriage. I don’t have to tell you that, but I want you to know that things aren’t always what they seem.

I forget that all the time. Never more than when I walk into my church building on Sunday mornings.

Honestly, I’ve never thought to ask my Father, “Daddy, are people sick here?”

Some people are more obvious about their needs, their failures, their weaknesses than others, but even if those things aren’t visible, we all walk around with some kind of sickness. In college, I remember interviewing a girl who used a wheelchair. I can’t exactly remember the reason, but I won’t ever forget what she said: “We all have handicaps. You can just see mine.”

We’re all sick with something: pride, envy, prejudice, lust, unforgiveness, worry, fear … you name it.

I’ve heard it said that churches are to be like hospitals where sick people get well. Instead, we walk around dismembered, disfigured and dying, figuratively speaking, pretending like nothing’s wrong.

I’m guilty of telling people I’m fine when I’m not, and I’m guilty of assuming everyone else has their lives all together when they don’t. And I forget to treat people with compassion because I can’t see their injuries, their sicknesses.

Are there sick people here? Oh, yeah. And I’m one of them.

Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:31-32, NIV)

Filed Under: faith & spirituality Tagged With: church, counseling, envy, fear, handicaps, healthy people, lust, marriage counseling, mental illness, prejudice, pride, sick people, unforgiveness, worry

The only thing to fear

February 23, 2010

I quit watching horror movies sometime in the last 10-15 years. I’m not sure of the exact reason. I once thought it was because I became a Christian, but I think it had more to do with growing up and realizing that I have enough realistic fears that I don’t need to add fictitious ones to the mix.

Some of the things I fear:
getting pregnant again too soon
discovering a major health issue when I don’t have medical insurance
stifling my daughter’s outgoing personality and wild, creative behavior because I’m tired or impatient or more reserved, myself
obeying God’s call on my life
This last one is the one that has been most on my mind lately. God’s specific call for my life includes writing. I have lots of ideas, some information, and hardly anything actually written, yet I can’t deny that God wants me to write. I can’t NOT write, even if I’m just making a grocery list or jotting a note to a friend. It lifts my spirits, gives me hope and spurs me on. My heart races when I do it, and I feel full when I’ve let my thoughts flow on paper or screen.
And I find myself jealous (usually), critical (sometimes) and challenged (always) when I hear about someone else’s writing success. Mostly I just want the time and motivation to do what I know needs to be done.
So I ask myself how much I want it. Because if I really wanted it, I’d do it.
I think I’m afraid. Not of rejection because I know it will happen; it happens to all writers, even good ones. I think I’m afraid that if I write, I’ll discover that God didn’t call me to that after all, and then I won’t know what my calling is.
Wow. That seems a little silly when I see it written before my eyes. Still …
I read this in Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost for His Highest” today. Speaks to me where I’m at. He says, “tenacity is more than endurance, it is endurance combined with the absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire. Tenacity is more than hanging on, which may be but the weakness of being too afraid to fall off. … Then comes the call to spiritual tenacity, not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately on the certainty that God is not going to be worsted.”
Then I read these words from the psalmist’s pen: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear …” (Psalm 46:1-2a, NIV)
God is my strength, whether in trouble or not. Therefore, I have nothing to fear. “Tenacious” is not a word I would use to describe myself, and I haven’t always thought of it as a good thing, but after today, I think it’s a necessary attribute for the Christian life.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” From the Christian standpoint, the only person we have to fear is God Himself, not because he’s horror-movie scary but because of something else I read today: “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.” (Psalm 24:1)
Everything is His. Everyone is His. If that’s true, then I don’t have to live in fear of any of the above-mentioned circumstances because God is in control. I don’t have to acknowledge that He is for that to be true. I don’t even have to FEEL like He’s in control for it to be true. Because He is in control, all I have to fear is how I live my life in relation to Him — in obedience or disobedience. One brings life; the other death. I can tenaciously pursue obedience to God and trust Him whatever the outcome or I can live disobediently and find myself merely hanging on, afraid to fall.
The first step is always the hardest.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: fear, obedience, tenacity

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