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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

flowers

How can we make it beautiful?

April 17, 2021

We live on a road where cars and trucks take the curve with two tires over the center line, speed limits ignored except when there is snow or ice and sometimes not even then. Sometimes a car will disregard the school bus’ stop sign, so much in a hurry or maybe just distracted. So many places to be and anything that delays is an inconvenience at best. 

Lowe’s is nearby so sometimes the cars are loaded down almost beyond their capacity with lumber or new appliances or other building supplies. We watch as arms hang outside of windows holding whatever is strapped to the roof, as trucks pulling trailers bounce into the potholes with a crashing sound that makes us all look up from whatever we’re doing.

Photo by bilge tekin on Unsplash

Sometimes we are the recipients of “gifts”–building materials or boxes that stray from the vehicle they were in and land in our front yard or sometimes in the middle of the road. On a windy day, garbage from God-knows-where finds its way into our yard. I once found a box addressed to someone in Wilmington, Delaware, which is more than an hour from here. 

The most recent “gift” was a spare tire sitting squarely in the middle of the right-hand land in front of our house. I had taken my daughter to track practice and when I returned home, I saw traffic veering around an object in the road. This has happened before and either I or my husband has removed said object from harm’s way. I didn’t think about it at the time, but my son’s bus was only minutes from traveling this same road and later I could only imagine a bus having to swerve into the oncoming lane to avoid a hazard.

I sighed, knowing what I had to do and not wanting to do it.

—

Why is this my problem?

I’ve never liked cleaning up messes other people have made. If you have ever had small children around, you’ll understand that this was a frustrating part of early motherhood for me. News flash: babies, toddlers, young children all create messes and you have to clean them up! My unreasonable expectations that I could control my life and keep it free of chaos if I was careful to do everything just right were shattered after I became a mother. Even before that, learning to live with another human being (husband) in the same house was a shock to my ordered world. Early in our marriage I noticed every little thing that was out of place or that had been moved. I still do this sometimes, but I don’t think it’s as prevalent as it once was. Maybe I need to ask my husband.

But this reluctance to clean up after other people rises into near-rage when garbage skitters across my lawn. Fast food containers. Water bottles. Cardboard boxes. Plastic bags. They dot the yard, and I groan. Our lawn is nothing noteworthy, but garbage certainly doesn’t belong there. Why, why, why, I whine as I grab a pair of gloves and collect the trash, placing it in the can on our porch.

—

The tire in the middle of the road was a turning point in my thinking.

I stood by the side of the road watching traffic swerve around the tire, waiting for the way to clear. I hoped someone would stop, blocking for me so I could remove the tire from the road. Drivers saw me but they didn’t stop and I realized that the tire wasn’t their problem either. When the way was clear, I stepped into the road and dragged the tire to the side. A few minutes later, my son’s bus arrived at our stop without incident.

I wondered if anyone would come back for the tire. Did they even know it was missing? I asked Phil to move it away from the road before garbage day. I didn’t want it to go to the landfill, and I wasn’t even sure the garbage company would take it. So he pulled it into the yard and propped it up against a tree. We joked about turning it into a planter.

And then he brought home flowers for several of the beds in the yard that I could plant while my parents were in town for Easter. My mom transformed the old tire that was left in the middle of the road into a receptacle to hold the Gerbera daisies.

Gerbera daisies are my favorite flower

This is now one of my favorite things in our yard. I can see it from the couch in the living room. It catches my attention from the road.

We took something trash-worthy and turned it into something that holds beauty.

—

“That’s not my job.”

I heard someone say this recently in reference to some trash that was scattered on a lawn in a public place. It wasn’t that person’s job to pick up the trash, and I so badly wanted to ask, “Whose job is it?” just to hear the response. But I kept my mouth shut and thought about the trash that finds its way to my yard. How I’ve thought the same thing: that’s not my job.

I ask myself the same question I couldn’t voice this week: “Whose job is it?”

Right now, the world feels like a gigantic mess that someone else made. (Although if we’re honest with ourselves, we all have contributed in some way to the mess that we see.) I wish I didn’t have to be the one to clean it up. I wish other people could behave responsibly and care about themselves, other people and the environment. 

And I wish I could more clearly see the ways that I leave a mess for other people to clean up.

Not too long ago, on a particularly windy day, our neighbor’s trash can was tipped over into the road, and I saw it as I was coming home from work. It wasn’t my trash can. It wasn’t my problem. But I trudged out to the road and pulled it back in.

Because that’s what neighbors do.

What if we could see the world this way? As good neighbors taking care of each other and the place where we live.

Instead of declaring “That’s not my job” or complaining about having to clean up someone else’s mess, or waiting for someone else to take care of it, what if we looked at the situation anew and asked, “How can I make this better?” “How can I make it beautiful?”

How can we make it beautiful, friends?

Like it or not, it is up to us. Because if it’s not our job, then whose job is it?

Filed Under: beauty Tagged With: a more beautiful world, cleaning up trash, finding beauty, flowers, litter, old tire planter

How this garden is growing me

June 1, 2015

On a hot and humid day, the sky took on a dark blue hue as clouds carried a storm our way. Thunder rumbled as I rushed the kids into the car from our quick errand. I’d hoped we could get home before the downpour started. A cool breeze escorted us home and we ran inside just before the drops started falling.

I’m not the kind of person who gets giddy about thunderstorms. Rain dampens my spirits in the same way it dampens the ground, and my senses go on high alert with thunder and lightning as I worry about tornadoes and storm damage.

But we’re experiencing a dry spell and our fledgling garden is in serious need of a soaking rain. So I welcomed the storm, praying that it would last long enough to revive our plants and save us a day of watering.

Five minutes later, the rain had passed, and my disappointment was palpable.

We haven’t had a garden for long, but this is one way I’m growing right along with it.

—

Since we moved into a house with overgrown and untended landscaping, my husband has been brushing up on his pruning skills. Every now and then, he’ll head outside to trim a limb here or there on the trees in the yard. Last year, he attempted to tame the rose bushes which have taken on an interesting shape from their neglect. He snipped and trimmed and I cringed at every cut. What if we ruin them?

The good news is: we didn’t ruin them.

wpid-20150526_120032.jpg

Last year, this yellow rose bush had two, maybe three, buds that bloomed. This year, we have a whopping seven on it!

Pruning, it seems, has a purpose and though the wait is long, the results are worth it.

I am one who does not embrace the pruning seasons of my life. The idea that I need to cut back or cut off anything is distasteful to me. I love and enjoy a lot of things and it’s hard to say “no” or “not now.” But when I try to do it all, I’m like the rose bush before it was pruned–so stretched out that I don’t have the energy to bloom. Cutting back allows me to focus my energy and produce more of the good and beautiful.

This, too, is how the garden is growing me.

—

These roses, they’re teaching me.

Like a cliche, I stop and smell them just because. The pink bush is more plentiful so I’ve been cutting off a few here and there and bringing them inside. The smell is almost intoxicating as it drifts through the house. I’ve never been a fan of the manufactured rose smell in perfumes, but there is nothing to compare to the scent of fresh roses throughout the house.

They are thorny and so must be handled with care, not unlike myself with my prickly edges and ability to wound. They are delicate. A strong breeze knocked all the petals off the half dozen or so we had in a vase on the dining room table and now the table and floor look like a flower girl has been through practicing for her big day. They don’t last as long once I bring them inside, preferring the wild outdoors to the confines of a vase. (I think I can relate to this.)

And they don’t all bloom at the same time.wpid-20150526_120056.jpg

These two in particular caught my eye the other day. I wondered if the one in the foreground was bothered by the one in the background that had already opened into fullness. I wanted to reassure it.

“It’s not your time yet, beautiful.”

Sometimes I need the same reminder.

When it looks like everyone around me is in full bloom and I’m still a closed bud, I need the assurance that it’s just not my time yet. Heck, four of these buds didn’t even exist last year.

Maybe that’s a better metaphor for me. Maybe I’m a not-yet-bud in need of more pruning.

—

Almost daily since we planted the garden, I walk out to the pot on the porch and pinch off a couple of leaves of basil or rosemary. I am somewhat addicted to the use of fresh herbs and the convenience of having them within walking distance.

wpid-20150511_164938.jpgMy recipe and Pinterest searches have revolved around these two ingredients, and I’ve tried numerous new recipes including fresh basil and fresh rosemary just because I can. I even created my own tuna salad recipe using the basil and I’ve eaten it more days in a row than I’d care to admit because it’s just that good.

I’ve long believed in theory that local, fresh ingredients were better and possible, but until we planted the garden, they seemed just a good idea and not practical. Now I’m wondering how much fresh and local stuff I can buy and use this summer, spending less money on substandard food at the grocery store and more money at local farm stands. (I’m still skeptical about whether our garden is actually going to produce, oh me of little faith.)

I’m even daring to try making a jam from the berries that grow on our dogwood tree in the front yard because why not? Living off the land is not in my DNA. Or maybe it is and I just have to nurture it.

—

I tell people all the time about my horrific gardening skills and they laugh, saying, surely it’s not that bad. But until this summer, the only thing I’ve kept alive multiple years (not including children) is a cactus. A freaking cactus that doesn’t really care if you forget to water it. Do you see what I’m working with here?

But I’m giving it a shot. We’re watering and paying attention. I’ve been on my hands and knees in the dirt planting flower seeds and teaching the kids about waiting. I’ve dug out a flower bed and now that we have a small plot that we’ve tended, I want to keep going. To keep pulling out the weeds and turning over the soil and planting beauty where only chaos has reigned.

I’m watching the skies, praying for rain, sticking my hands in the dirt (it’s there underneath my fingernails), watering plants and working up a sweat when I could be doing anything else. And where I’ve feared failure I’m learning to let go because the fate of these plants is not all up to me. I have a part to play, yes, but there is a bigger force at work in making them grow and thrive.

I could say the same thing about me, too.

We’re growing a garden, yes, but this garden is growing me. And if we never eat a single tomato or pepper or cucumber, we will have done well.

Filed Under: beauty, Friendship, gardening, Summer Tagged With: first time gardeners, flowers, fresh herbs, gardening, local food, praying for rain, pruning

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Hi. I’m Lisa, and I’m glad you’re here. If we were meeting in real life, I’d offer you something to eat or drink while we sat on the porch letting the conversation wander as it does. That’s a little bit what this space is like. We talk about books and family and travel and food and running, whatever I might encounter in world. I’m looking for the beauty in the midst of it all, even the tough stuff. (You’ll find a lot of that here, too.) Thanks for stopping by. Stay as long as you like.

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