Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

justice

Shake up your holiday shopping by making a difference in the world

I know it’s Thanksgiving and we’re not supposed to be online hanging with our virtual friends when we’re supposed to be spending time with family and loved ones (and don’t worry, I wrote this post yesterday!) BUT on the off chance you’re headed out to do some Thursday/Black Friday/I don’t know what to call it anymore shopping tonight or tomorrow or this weekend, I wanted to once again ask you to consider changing the way you shop this holiday season.

Because to hear the advertisers tell it, I’m not really thankful or happy this year unless I put in new carpeting or redecorate my house or buy the latest gadget or spoil my children with every.single.toy in the store.

You know that’s not true, right?

You know you have the power to change that story, right? For you and for others?

The holidays, Christmas, in particular, don’t have to be about accumulating more stuff or buying in a frenzy or going into debt. You can choose meaningful gifts, ones that even make a life-saving difference in someone else’s life. Really.

I think we can all agree that we have a lot of choices in our lives. Confession: I nearly had a meltdown in the bread aisle the other night because we had a dozen different choices about what kind of hamburger buns we could buy. (Kaiser. Potato. Wheat. Slider size. Regular size. On and on.) And somewhere on the other side of the world, a mama doesn’t have enough money to buy any bread. Period.

Let that sink in but don’t let it paralyze you.

You can do some good. Right here. Right now. For someone else who truly needs it.

There are hundreds of companies doing good with their goods, and that can be overwhelming, I know. So, here are a few ideas to help you shake up your holiday shopping, if you don’t know where to start.

1. Imagine Goods. This company is one you will hear/read about from me all.the.time. The co-owner is a friend who lives in the same town, but even if I didn’t know her personally, I would want you to shop here. They sell beautiful home goods like tablecloths, cloth napkins and aprons, as well as fashionable clothing for women, children and men. And the clothing is all made in Cambodia by women who have been sexually exploited or are at-risk of exploitation because of financial or family situations. Imagine Goods offers them decent working conditions and a livable wage. As a bonus, the company partners with other organizations doing good, such as Love146, making clothing and products for them, as well. (They’re running a 20 percent off sale through Sunday with the code “Thankful Hearts.”)

2. Ornaments4Orphans. I just learned about this organization last weekend at a Christmas open house another friend hosted. They sell handcrafted ornaments made in East Africa through fair trade practices, and the proceeds benefit programs that help orphaned and vulnerable children, particularly in Uganda. If you’re looking for unique Christmas tree decorations, look here.

3. Ten Thousand Villages. I had never heard of this until we moved to Pennsylvania six years ago (because it’s based here), but this is one of my favorite places to shop/browse. Everything sold in stores and online is made by artisans in countries all over the globe. These artisans are paid fairly for their work. You can find jewelry and home decor and wall art and more. If you don’t have a store near you, browse online. Unique gifts made with care.

4. Imana Kids. If you decide that you and your loved ones really do have enough stuff, you can still spend money and make a difference in the world. Another friend is involved with this great ministry in Rwanda, caring for orphans through safe homes, basic needs and education. They’re currently trying to furnish a home that can serve as a safe haven and meeting place for the kids until permanent homes are found. They are aiming to raise $30,000 and you can help by buying plates and bowls, blankets, sheets, furniture and one month of clean water. Check out their gift catalog for the full list of gift options. These are basic needs, not above-and-beyond needs.

Truly, you (and I) have no reason not to support organizations such as these. And not only at Christmas but year-round. Will it mean sacrifice? Yep. Will it mean discomfort? Yep. (Will it mean a meltdown in the bread aisle because you have so.many.choices? Maybe!) But I promise you, you won’t regret it.

Count the cost this Christmas. The cost of whatever it is you think you need compared to the cost of basic needs a fellow human being needs.

You don’t have to overhaul your whole shopping list today (or even this year). Start small if you have to. Make one better choice this year. And then maybe next time you need a gift, you make another choice like this. And then maybe next year you’ll be ready to make even more changes to your shopping list.

I know it’s not easy. Trust me, I do. We do not have loads of money to spend on things, but we have more than enough of what we need. And I can’t in good conscience live my life only and always for myself. I just can’t. (Though sometimes I try really hard to do just that.)

Maybe you have some other organizations to add to this list. Feel free!

Whatever you do, don’t ignore this post. I can personally vouch for Imagine Goods and Imana Kids, if you’re worried about accountability. They are good friends doing good work that is also very hard.

Any excuse you are thinking of right now, I’ve said it to myself.

This is not about guilt. (I’m sorry if it sounds that way. I’m a mom! I think it’s ingrained!)

And it’s not about charity.

It’s about justice. About making things right. About doing for someone what you would want them to do for you. In an honorable and dignified way.

I could go on, but I don’t want you to fall into a turkey induced coma.

Just think about it, okay?

That’s the last I’ll say about it. Today.

Why we need to talk about it, even if it makes us squirm

I read this quote last night:

Write about what disturbs you, particularly if it bothers no one else. – Kathryn Stockett

Great words for writers from the author of The Help, an inspiring story of a woman who cared enough about the black servants in white households in the South to hear their stories and write about how they were treated.

I won’t pretend this blog post compares to that fabulous work of fiction. But I do want to write about something that disturbs me.

A couple of weeks ago, our local paper published this article, about prostitution arrests in our township, at motels I pass by almost every day. I reposted the article on Facebook, commenting that none of those arrested had that Julia-Roberts-Pretty-Woman look about them. Instead, they look desperate. Beaten by life. Weary. One friend wondered why no one publishes pictures of their “customers.” A good question, indeed.

What bothers me is the way we, as a society, view prostitution. The comments on the story were heartbreaking. Some people said it was a “victimless” crime, implying we shouldn’t spend our government resources on arresting and prosecuting for it. Others joked about the name of one of the women and the age of the “ringleaders.” And some dubbed it “the oldest profession.”

I didn’t always care about this. I watched Pretty Woman plenty of times in my high school and college days, never once thinking that maybe it glorified prostitution. Or desensitized us to its effects.

Prostitution is closely related to sex trafficking, which is a crime and contributes to this staggering number: 27 million people enslaved around the world. Today. (Learn 8 facts about sex trafficking here.)

And it doesn’t just happen somewhere else. It happens here.

human_trafficking_Inheritance_mag

Prostitution is often dismissed because it’s seen as a choice. But what if you were trafficked, forced into prostitution throughout your teenage years, and when you had outlived your usefulness, you had nowhere to go? What if prostitution seems like a good choice because at least you’d be getting the money now, unlike when you were trafficked and saw none of it?

That may not be every prostitute’s story, but it’s surely the story of some.

As for it being a “victimless” crime, I can’t agree with that. A person who hands over money to another person for sex is essentially asserting power over that person. And power can make people do things they’d never imagine they could do. Does money give a man the right to beat a woman? Because that happens.

The same day I read the local news story about the prostitution arrests, I read a story about a teacher in a nearby county who was arrested for having a relationship with a 17-year-old student. The comments on this story were very different from the first story. Some comments said they wished a teacher like her would have been at their school in high school. Others wondered why she didn’t wait till the student was 18 and couldn’t be charged. And others dismissed it as a useless arrest because they were “consenting adults.”

I’m not going to argue about the law. I just present these two stories as illustrations of how we, as a society, view sex. We don’t seem to care that people are mistreated as long as money is exchanged. We don’t hold responsible the men and women who solicit these services (because really, how would we know who they are?) and instead we punish girls as young as 17 for committing a crime. Maybe things would change if we offered help to the prostitutes, instead of jail time, and punished the “customers” instead. And we applaud a 17-year-old boy who has sex with a teacher.

I’ll be honest. I don’t have any answers.

And I’m afraid to hit “publish” on this post because I could be accused of being a prude or naive or ignorant. But I will hit “publish” because I’m not okay with people being sold for sex, no matter who “benefits.” I’m not okay with a culture that winks at an inappropriate relationship between a teenager and an adult while turning a blind eye to teenagers being repeatedly sold for sex elsewhere in the world.

Consider this statistic:

According to the California Child Welfare Council, kids as young as 10 are being peddled for sex every day in Los Angeles County … the average life expectancy of children who enter the sex trade is seven years. This means, on average, a child forced into prostitution at age 12 will be dead by 19. (Source: http://www.dailybreeze.com/general-news/20130902/a-call-to-crack-down-on-those-who-pay-for-child-sex )

Not okay.

I wasn’t alive in the Sixties for the so-called sexual revolution. But I think we need another one. Only instead of advocating free love, we need to advocate for freedom. Men and women, young and old, need to know that sexual slavery is not okay. It’s not a joke. It’s not someone else’s problem.

I’m never quite sure what to do when I get all riled about this. Fortunately, there are organizations doing the hard work of rescuing, advocating, preventing, caring and educating.

Here are three I’ve found helpful in guiding my own actions:

Love146

The Exodus Road

IJM

I’ll leave you with this quote.

Amen.