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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

letting go

The fruit of 'release'

August 12, 2013

Eight months ago, I planted a word in my heart, hoping it would grow into something I could see throughout the year. OneWord2013_Release

In the beginning, it sprouted visible shoots. I started seeing evidence of something happening, something I couldn’t explain or coerce or make happen. I’m no gardener, but I’ve known the thrill of planting a seed in the soil, watering it, and faithfully waiting for growth. This One Word 365 process has been a lot like that. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I chose “release” as my word, but I knew it would be a year of letting go. In big ways and small ways. And as the months have passed, not only has my awareness of “release” grown, but I’ve changed.

And now it’s August. And I haven’t reflected on “release” in months, but I’m finding that the tender shoots I saw months ago have grown into full-blown fruit-bearing plants.

Release is alive, and my life is bearing fruit. <Click to tweet>

I’ve seen it on Twitter.

Don’t try to retain what God is asking you to release. @PriscillaShirer #LessonsfromGideon http://t.co/OuPNSkuPQa

— LifeWay Women (@LifeWayWomen) June 20, 2013

Forcing the question: What am I holding on to that God wants me to release?

In the past two months, we packed up the house we’d been living in for almost five years and moved to a city about 30 miles away. To a new place, a new community, a fresh start. We’ve taken load after load of stuff we no longer use or want to thrift stores. We junked more than I’d care to admit. In our last house, we experienced a flood that forced us to let go of things we cherished. Even now, I’m learning that memories are the best treasure.

Most surprising, I think, has been the recent revelation. That “release” doesn’t only apply to me. That sometimes I have to release others to their actions and behaviors, to God’s grace and mercy, because it’s too draining for me to carry their burdens for them. “Let go and let God” was one of the first pieces of Godly advice I ever received, and it fits in some circumstances.

release-free-jewelquote

I can’t change other people, so I’ll lend my strength where it can do some good. First and foremost, in me.

“Release” was everywhere over the past few months. I found its influence in numerous books.

In James Rubart’s Book of Days.

Letting go wasn’t letting go of her. It was releasing himself to live whatever life he had left, with whatever memories he could hold on to.

And in Julie Cantrell’s Into the Free.

It’s hard, letting go of the need to control things. My instinct is to want to feel safe, to keep my feet on the ground and my eyes open for signs of danger.

In Shauna Niequist’s Bread & Wine.

But if the last few years have taught me anything at all, it’s that the very things you think you need most desperately are the things that can transform you the most profoundly when you do finally decide to release them.

I’m still chewing on those words.

As I am these ones from Brennan Manning’s The Ragamuffin Gospel.

The grace to let go and let God be God flows from trust in His boundless love.

And pages from Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. Here are just a few of her words that touched me.

Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust. I can let go.

I humbly open my hand to release my will to receive His.

And in this passage from Winter in Full Bloom by Anita Higman:

You know a long time ago when I was younger and more daring I went zip-lining across a canyon. I don’t remember a whole lot about the experience except something the guide said to me before I stepped off my safe little perch to fly across the canyon. He said, ‘Trust the harness.’ And that helped me to let go. I wasn’t nearly as afraid when I went across that chasm. You need to trust me, Lily, but more importantly, you need to trust the One who made you. The One who has you safely in His arms … sort of like trusting that harness. It really makes the letting go a lot easier.

Well said.

The year isn’t over, yet I can already taste the sweetness of this fruit.

Filed Under: faith & spirituality, One Word 365 Tagged With: book of days, books, bread & wine, into the free, letting go, moving, one thousand gifts, one word 365, release, the ragamuffin gospel

How 'release' is changing me

April 22, 2013

I began this OneWord journey four months ago. You can read about what I learned in January and February in previous posts.

“You have set my feet in an open place.”

Psalm 31:8

At times, in my life, I feel trapped. Unable to move beyond the boundaries I, or others, have set for me. I want to escape but don’t see a way out. And I don’t always know what it is I’m trying to escape.

But in the months since adopting “release” as my OneWord for the year, I have felt freedom like never before.

OneWord2013_Release

“Release” has  become more than a word to me.

It is the words of the psalmist to his Lord, “You have set my feet in an open place.”

An open place where I can run or sit or look up at the sky. Where I can feel the sun on me and see for miles.

This is how I feel four months after hearing God whisper, “Let go” when I needed a word for the year.

It is seemingly small decisions.

Like cleaning out my e-mail inbox so I no longer have 300 unread messages. (Let it go, Lisa. If you didn’t read the blog posts the first time, you aren’t going to read them now.) And unsubscribing to lists I’m no longer interested in. And saying “no” when I can’t do the task someone asks of me.)

How did I not know there was freedom in saying “no”?

It is lines from a poem from a brother in ministry that speaks to my writing and the whole of my life.

What if, writing, I always seem to leave

Some better thing, or better way, behind,

Why should I therefore fret at all, or grieve!

The worse I drop, that I the better find;

The best is only in thy perfect mind.

Fallen threads I will not search for–I will weave.

Who makes the mill-wheel backward strike to grind! – George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul

I will weave. These words embedded in my soul when I read them. I’ll stop looking for something better and I will do the thing I’m called to do.

It is quotes on social media that affirm the power of letting go.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.”
― C. JoyBell C.

And,

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
― Ann Landers

It is song lyrics from reluctant prophets like Mumford & Sons, particularly “I Will Wait.”

I’m drawn to these words: “a tethered mind freed from the lies” and “now in some way shake the excess.”

It is this prayer to surrender everything I have to God: “We release from our hands to Yours the things and people we have held too tightly.” (The Power of a Praying Wife devotional by Stormie Omartian).

It is the very difficult decision to let a dream die. To weep and wail and feel your guts being ripped out because you have believed that this thing is the ONLY thing God has for you.

let go

It is choosing to embrace the wilderness because it might actually be where you live.

It is becoming indifferent in a good way. “This is a state of wide-openness to God in which I am free from undue attachment to any particular outcome and I am capable of relinquishing whatever might keep me from choosing for love.” (Sacred Rhythms, Ruth Haley Barton, 119)

It is the peace that settles afterwards. Like dropping a pair of heavy bags you’ve been lugging through life and melting into the couch.

march-release-packitup

With “release” comes “rest” and “relief.”

And this realization that Jesus meant what he said.

If you lose your life for His sake, you will find it.

By letting go, I have found life.

One word.

It seemed so simple.

I suspect I have much more to learn.

Filed Under: faith & spirituality, One Word 365 Tagged With: ann landers, diary of an old soul, freedom, indifference, letting go, losing your life for Jesus, mumford and sons, oneword365, power of a praying wife devotional, release, sacred rhythms

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