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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

life during a pandemic

The Distancing Diaries: Days 10, 11 and 12

March 26, 2020

 Day 10: I thought we were going to have a rough day because of the rough start, but here it is 4 p.m. and dinner is in the works, and I’m just now sitting down to chronicle our day. I think that means it was okay.

Phil and I didn’t get out of bed until almost 7:30, a practice I’m going to regret when life gets back to normal. The kids had already had breakfast, and I set out to make mine. By the time I was sitting down to breakfast, our son was bored. It was 8 o’clock. We told him “no” on screens so he spent almost 40 minutes whining about not having anything to do, even though we offered many solutions. After I’d finished breakfast, I got dressed, helped get the garbage out and started on dishes. Meanwhile, our son was beginning to wreak havoc on his sister. He eventually was taken to his room where he curled up in his bed/fort. I could hear the panic in his voice and I knew this was not just about boredom this morning. All of us are showing our emotions in different ways. This was his turn.

I asked permission to enter the bed/fort and curled up next to him. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said he couldn’t explain it so we played a little game of 20 questions as I tried to draw it out of him. Eventually, we landed on that he is also missing his friends–understandable–and would like to video call his one best friend. I promised to send a text seeing to that arrangement. He was back to his normal self almost immediately.

Our daughter got dressed for the day and I noticed she was wearing workout style clothes. I asked if she was going to work out with her dad and she said, “maybe” and then she did. They worked out together while our son and I went about our business–Hot Wheels cars and a jigsaw puzzle, respectively. At 10, we video called with my parents for about 40 minutes or so. Then it was time for my husband to get ready for work. There was some discord over the Tiny Desk Concert choice for lunchtime viewing, later resolved by changing the channel to The Price is Right which was not interrupted for a press briefing today.

I started my workout at noon while the kids cleaned out their dresser drawers of clothes that didn’t fit anymore. Their Nana offered to pay them for cleaning their room if I could produce evidence that they’d done it. I have a couple of bags of clothing so far to submit as exhibit A. My workout was so-so. My quad was hurting a little bit. I think I need to stretch it better and rest it more, so I modified my workout just to get through.

The audience for my workout: my son’s “gang” of friends

Then it was time to make a snack and get my daughter set up for a writing class call with a friend who is offering short video sessions  for kids this week on the craft of writing. She loved it. I went out to get the mail and read a letter from one of my best friends who lives in Arizona. I cherish the written word these days. My son and I folded his laundry and then tuned in to our state’s press briefing about the coronavirus latest. We learned that school will be out for two more weeks. Sigh. 

Husband came home from work. Kids watched screens. I took a shower and started dinner. It’s been raining all day and the temperature dropped into the 40s, so we haven’t been outside all day. I think we’ll try to remedy that tomorrow.

Now, they’re practicing band but there’s been a lot of screeching and shouting, so I’m not sure how much practicing is actually happening. We’re putting more Zoom calls on the calendar while also canceling more plans. The doctor’s office called today to cancel an appointment for next week and reschedule it for May. I’m grateful we don’t have to go out.

Dinner was ready early and with my husband’s adjusted schedule, we had time to watch a movie as a family. We picked Night at the Museum, which the kids alternated between loving and hating. But it was a fun distraction, and I made some good progress on my current cross-stitch project. More bathing, then off to bed. I stayed up to watch the latest Outlander episode and do more cross-stitch. (And eat more snacks, let’s be honest.)

It was as good a day as could be expected, I guess.

Day 11: How can it be day 11 already? I’m grateful that I started this practice because the days are both dragging and blurring. Today, we were all up before the sun. I didn’t sleep well again, and I had set my alarm for 6:15 (an ambition to get back into a routine) but I was up before the alarm went off. I listened to Pray As You Go after scrolling social media for just a few minutes. I don’t know why I feel the need to check in on the world before I even get out of bed. Is it not enough to be alive and awake for another day?

I made coffee (always) and started the process for my breakfast, checked in on the kids who soon made their way to the kitchen for breakfast. There was a short argument about screens which was soon resolved. They opted to watch YouTube or play Minecraft with their breakfast. I sat in the kitchen and read a book while I ate. With all this togetherness, I’m re-learning how to use the space in our house. Even though I consider our dwelling small, we don’t all have to be on top of each other all the time.

After breakfast, I tackled the dishes, just to get them done and out of the way. A positive of this confinement is being able to keep up with the dishes daily. I like a clean kitchen. It makes me want to use it more when the counters aren’t covered with dirty dishes or drying dishes. (We do not have a dishwasher. Sigh.) I watched a couple of episodes of Grace and Frankie while washing. The liberal use of crude language on the show is a comfort to me. Weird, I know. Sometimes I want to swear like a drunken sailor but I’m inhibited by so much of my past that I can’t do it without feeling guilty. There’s your honest confession for the day.

The kids transitioned to academics. Our daughter worked on her assignment for writing class, which just makes my heart swell to 10 times its size. Our son got out his math journal which he only remembered he had yesterday. We worked on a couple of fraction problems that a) made me think of all my students at school and how much I miss them and b) stumped my brain a little bit. Our daughter stepped in to help some and together we figured it out.

I printed some materials I need for my nutrition and training program in the coming weeks. Then, I sucked it up and paid bills. I get a weird thrill out of paying bills because I like to check things off lists and knowing I’m up to date on payments pumps my ego in a way. I read a lot of stuff yesterday about asking for deferments on payments and contacting creditors about income changes. We may do some of that because everything is uncertain right now, but the thought of deferring payments feels like digging a bigger hole than we’re already in, even though I know none of this is our fault. Before we make any quick decisions about deferrals, I want to give my husband’s employer time to consider whether they can make up his lost hours. And who knows how long it will be before I hear from the unemployment office. It’s not now that we’re in financial difficulties, anyway. It’ll be mid-April and beyond when my paychecks stop coming. This is what keeps me up at night.

Now the kids are playing outside and I’m going to attempt some writing that isn’t journaling. I’m grateful for this practice. I’ve written for 10 days in a row, which is something I’d gotten out of the habit of. It feels good to flex these muscles again.

I took about an hour to work on a client project. I don’t feel “in the groove” which is hard to explain but at least I was doing something. The kids watched Let’s Make A Deal followed by The Price is Right because it’s a mash-up week. I ate lunch and worked on the puzzle. It’s slowly but surely coming along and is seriously one of the hardest puzzles I’ve ever attempted to complete. Then I got my workout clothes on to complete my daily program. The kids divvied up chores–our son vacuumed the living room; our daughter worked on cleaning out her dresser drawers. Our son ended up there, too, when he was finished vacuuming.

The kids’ teachers had sent a variety of videos, so we watched those. The gym teacher issued a tripod/headstand challenge. The music teacher played a happy song which her baby daughter danced to in the background. It was wholesome and uplifting. Their principal sent a message of encouragement. And their band teacher started a vlog. By the time we finished those, it was time for my daughter’s writing class. My son did some math games on the computer and I wrote a few letters. I’m waiting on an order of stamps to arrive later in the week, but that’s no reason I can’t write the cards ahead of time.

After my daughter’s writing class, my son’s class was getting together via Zoom. They hung out for almost an hour, and it was fun to just see my son’s face light up as his friends joined in and they all updated each other on what they’ve been doing.

The kids lobbied for more screen time after that, and I relented. I worked at the puzzle a little more and started gathering the dinner fixings. I checked my phone and had a missed call from the pharmacy that’s handling my injection medication, so I called back trying to get that sorted out, just in case I can keep my appointment in early April. That was a frustrating process that made me anxious. The pharmacy doesn’t seem to have the same information about copay assistance that I gave them in December, so they asked me to call the drug manufacturer to clear that up. I did that and got transferred twice before the system kicked me back to the main recording. I hung up because I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I’ll try again tomorrow. But this is a heck of a time to need medical assistance for something other than COVID-19.

Phil got home not long after I hung up, and I said I needed to take a walk. We talked through the dinner prep, and after a bit of downloading to each other about our day, the kids and I headed out for a short walk. The sun is shining and temps are in the 50s. Tomorrow it’s supposed to rain and be colder, so getting outside felt like the right thing to do. Plus my body needs to move sometimes when it’s anxious.

Our son ran on ahead and then sat down to wait for us.

It was a short walk. We did encounter some people and attempted to put six feet of distance between us and them. Back at home, I got started on dinner, which only involved broiling a filleted turkey breast and assembling a salad. For a while, we were in the habit of having salads on Tuesdays. It’s harder in the winter, but it was such a refreshing meal, even without the freshest ingredients. Salad night is best in the summer and fall. Sometimes we just need a reminder, though, that better days are coming. I hope better days are coming. It’s hard to put too much hope in the future when the numbers climb every day and the restrictions become more strict.

We ate our salads while watching an episode of Mr. Bean, which our son thinks is hilarious. He’s a physical comedy kind of guy. He also like The Three Stooges. Have I mentioned he’s 10? The kids were promised an episode of Supermarket Sweep after they practice band. They both practiced their instrument, then we watched what we promised. We turned the TV off and I offered the kids to help me with the puzzle so we can get our dining table back and have it available to play games. Our son wanted to listen to music but I was in the mood for quiet. So, he put earbuds in but he had to leave the table because he was singing out loud while eating an apple and it was possibly the most annoying thing he could have been doing at the time. I made good progress on the puzzle while my daughter sat nearby looking through her portfolio of school mementos from years gone by. 

Bedtime arrived without much incident. Phil and I watched couple of episodes of The Office. Lighthearted entertainment is the medicine right now.

Day 12: Morning, again. A restless night again. I have moments of deep sleep but they are peppered with wakefulness and anxieties. Today, specifically I worry about the phone calls I need to make about the medication. Phil had brought home some scones from one of his fellow market stands last night, so that was breakfast. I did listen to Pray As You Go before getting out of bed. Because it’s on my phone, I end up checking notifications, too. Prince Charles has COVID-19. Our tax return, which is not a lot but is still something, was deposited in our bank account.

For another day of social distancing, we have a lot planned today. We’ll see how it all turns out.

I went for a run after breakfast, mostly to get it done and over with but partly because it’s supposed to rain later. It was chilly but pleasant running conditions. I did just under 2 miles in 25 minutes. I’m trying to break that 2-mile mark but it’s not easy right now. I felt good when I got home. The kids were playing outside. Phil took the car to get an oil change, and I decided to leverage my endorphins to call about my medication.

The drug manufacturer was not terribly helpful but the woman I spoke with at the pharmacy dug into this like it was a mystery to be solved. After about 30 minutes of investigating, this is what she came up with: Turns out the drug was less expensive last year because I’d had a super expensive surgery that took care of my out-of-pocket expenses. There is not much else I can do. I have another phone number for a patient assistance program but I’m done with phone calls today. I did call my physician’s office to leave a message for the nurses that I can’t afford the medication and may not be able to keep that appointment in April. I mean, this is not a life-saving medication, but WHAT IF IT WAS? What a hellish nightmare to have to go through to get approved medicines. I may give it another go tomorrow, but for now, I’m like, whatever.

I talked briefly to a nurse at my doctor’s office and she was encouraging, so I printed out the application for assistance from the drug company. Then I took a shower while the rest of the family did the Orange Theory at-home workout for the day.

After my shower, I was motivated to keep trying to get this medication thing figured out, so I filled out my part of the application and put a call in to the nurse I talked to earlier. I need to know how best to get the paperwork to them. I’m all set with my part of the application and feeling a bit more hopeful than I was just an hour or so ago.

The fam is still working out. I did some laundry. It’s going to be lunch soon. One of our daughter’s former teachers is doing a live baking demo on YouTube. He’s making macrons today, but I don’t think we’re going to make the live demo. She’ll watch it later and make the tasty treats.

Played phone tag with the nurse but the application is in process. I’m hoping to have it finished and in the mail by the end of the week at the latest. During lunch, we watched a Tiny Desk concert from Jimmy Eat World, who sing my all-time favorite song “The Middle.” They performed it on the Tiny Desk concert, and I’m wondering if I should add that to my social distancing challenge: try to play it on the guitar. The fam watched another Tiny Desk concert from a guy called Dan Tepfer who was like part artist part mathematician. He wrote a computer program to accompany his music–that’s about the best I can describe it.

My daughter and I worked through her Girls on the Run at-home lesson while the boys started a FIFA tournament on the Wii. Then our daughter had her writing class, and I worked on washing dishes while starting the Office Ladies podcast, which recaps episodes of The Office with two of the actors from the show.

Phil is working on dinner and the kids are watching screens. I listened to more of the podcast and worked on the puzzle. I’d hoped to finish it today but the last part is the hardest.

Our son was supposed to have a haircut at the barbershop today, but that’s obviously cancelled, so our kitchen became a barbershop as my husband buzzed our son’s hair down to a 1. (Before and after.)

At the same time, our daughter decided it was time to do the baking. She’s been working on macrons for about 40 minutes now, and I think there’s quite a bit more to do, but what else are we doing?

Dinner is in process. We’re all choosing something different to occupy our time right now.

We ate pork and sauerkraut for dinner with mashed potatoes and peas. Comfort food. The macrons did not go as well as we had hoped. I got frustrated and put myself in a time out to read and calm down. When everyone had finished dinner and while the macrons were drying before baking, we chose a game to play together as a family. The kids opted for a game rather than a movie, which I find interesting considering how much they love their screens. But when faced with the same choices daily, some variety is good.

The kids chose Scrabble, independent of me.

Our board started out a little dark, if you ask me.

Our son wanted to be on my team, so we played together versus my husband and daughter, who each played for themselves. I did have to help our daughter some and she ended up winning by one point. My son was a little upset, but overall we had fun.

The finished board

It was 8:30 by the time the kids went to bed. We watched one episode of The Office before I had to give up and go to bed. Another day down.

Filed Under: family, social distancing Tagged With: coronavirus, life during a pandemic, social distancing

The Distancing Diaries: Days 4, 5 & 6

March 19, 2020

Friends, it’s getting harder, these days of distancing. A friend posted on Facebook that we should check on our extrovert friends because they are not okay. I would submit that introverts may also not be okay, especially if they are not used to all these people in the house all the time. I’ve got three days of our life to share with you today. May it help you to know you are not alone.

Day 4: My alarm was set for 6:15 a.m. because I want to try to keep to some kind of schedule, but I haven’t been sleeping well, so I turned it off and let my body wake me up. It was closer to 7 when I felt like I was awake for the day. There’s a balance between wanting to keep to a schedule and needing to listen to my body.

I told the kids screens until 8 o’clock. It’s 8:08. I’m still in the kitchen working on my blog, and I can hear the YouTube still going. Sigh.

They transitioned to math aka Prodigy which is a game with math problems in it, I guess. I got dressed (this is an important part of my day.) and worked on more dishes while listening to a podcast on the existence of hell. (Be jealous; you know that sounds like a good time!)

The kids are supposed to be doing active time now and because it’s a little rainy outside, they’re maybe dancing? I don’t know. Our house is not that big, yet I’m not 100 percent sure what goes on here. They were playing Shaun White snowboarding. I talked to my mom on the phone and folded laundry, then I worked on the puzzle a little more.

Our daughter made brownies from scratch while our son did a Hot Wheels tournament. I made myself available in the kitchen and sorted through the accumulation of papers on the counter. I found my insurance card that was available to be activated on January 1 if that’s any indication how 2020 is going. We made lunch and watched The Price is Right. If ever a nation needed the pure, unadulterated joy of this game show, it’s now. It still freaks me out to see people hugging, though.

Our son went outside to pick weeds and dead grasses out of the garden so we can start to think about spring while my daughter and I worked through her at-home lesson for Girls on the Run. We did a matching get-to-know you game and some fun movements. We skipped to the mailbox and danced on the porch and did jumping jacks. Then, we made self-portraits using only the arts/crafts supplies we had on hand. I like how they turned out. And we talked about what makes us the same and different.

I struggled to get the kids to do more academic time. I’m a part-time teacher’s aide when the world is functioning as usual but to transfer those skills to home is hard for me. At the same time I was trying to get them to do academics, I was putting the corned beef in the pot for dinner and getting ready to do my own workout for the day. That’s a lot of multi-tasking for me.

They chose a couple of things they could do online and I asked them to tell me what they learned after I finished my workout. Now, it’s screen time for everyone until 3 p.m. when I’m crossing my fingers and hoping they’ll do band practice. Daughter practiced band; son pulled more weeds in the garden. I made dinner–corned beef and cabbage–and read a book while I waited for the vegetables to cook.

When Phil got home from work, he wouldn’t touch anything before showering after being in contact with so many people. He was extra vigilant about taking these precautions, even if it seems a little paranoid.

We started planning for a possible hike on Wednesday because Phil is off, and we’re going to need to get outside. And we watched a BBC program about monkeys. (About 5 minutes of news was all we could handle.) The rest of the evening was kind of a blur. The kids went to bed around 8 and Phil and I followed soon after, exhausted from just existing in these times.

Day 5: I didn’t set the alarm again and woke up around 6ish. I listened to Pray As You Go, an app that offers music, a Scripture reading and time for meditation, and then scrolled the socials. I don’t think the latter makes me feel better, but I do it anyway. I ran out of coffee yesterday, but I ordered some over the weekend and it’s supposed to arrive today, so I made a cup of chai with my breakfast of French toast. The kids are doing math on Prodigy again, and we’re arguing about what time we’re going to head out for an adventure and when we’re going to video call with the grandparents. I’m tired already.

They did the video call and then we just started getting ready to leave. Dressing in layers and packing on-the-go lunch food. There was some weeping and gnashing of teeth but we were all ready to leave by 11 a.m. and our attitudes were mostly good. It took about 30 minutes to get to the park we’d picked out, and the parking lot was fuller than we expected. Two people passed us at the trailhead and then it was a while before we saw anyone else again, and it was always at a distance.

Ah, nature. I’m breathing easier just thinking about it.

The park is called Money Rocks because legend has it that farmers used to hide their money in the rocks in the mountains, and it’s not hard to imagine when you walk the limestone outcroppings. The trail itself is pretty rocky. We meandered for more than an hour, eating our lunches, until the kids started to complain of their legs hurting. We had a talk about the benefits of exercise and how we were going to keep doing this kind of thing, no matter what the coronavirus did, and it would be longer each time. This was the point of tears for one of our party who could not imagine hiking for more than an hour, even though we have done this numerous times in our life as a family.

For the good of everyone, we turned around and hiked back to the car, where we found the parking lot fuller than when we arrived. We still did not encounter many people, and when we did, there was plenty of distance. We came home to eat brownies and ice cream, but one of us did not approve of the size of the brownies offered and pouted until the brownies and ice cream were put away. (This family member relented later and ate brownies and ice cream before dinner.)

Oh, this is the life right now.

We’re back to the screens and the jigsaw puzzle. I made coffee to go with my dessert because my coffee order arrived just before we left. Afternoon coffee has never tasted so good. I took a shower while Phil made dinner, his Wednesday tradition.

Phil made a French toast casserole and breakfast sausages for dinner, which is not in any way healthy but is the kind of comfort food we’re gravitating toward these days. We thought about a family movie night but the kids actually got excited when we suggested a game night. So, we played Trivial Pursuit, girls vs. boys. Phil and I have a long tradition of boys vs. girls Trivial Pursuit. We may have actually fallen in love with each other playing this game with friends. We cycled through decades of music on Pandora while we played, starting with the 50s all the way through the 2000s. My time to shine was when the 80s and 90s music hit. We girls lost the game soundly, but we all had fun. It took us till almost 9 o’clock to finish the game, at which time we all went to bed.

Day 6: I did not want to get out of bed today. The days are spreading out in monotony, and I am struggling to find purpose in each day, although I know there are things I can do to add meaning to our days. We have video calls we can schedule. I could write letters. I have not done much cleaning or tending the garden plot or the flower beds. Today is my “rest day” in my workout schedule, which is both a blessing and a curse right now. I cried before I even got out of bed. I said the word “depression” out loud. It would be so so easy to sink into oblivion right now. Our county has its first case. The VA has its first case. I worry about other sicknesses not being able to be treated. I worry about getting my second injection for my endometriosis treatment in a timely manner.

Today, I think I need to apply for unemployment and maybe do the Census questionnaire. Dishes need attention, too. Podcasts will help me feel less alone, I hope. I need to buy stamps online so I can send some letters. And we have to take a loan payment to the bank. I will admit that I’m afraid to go places, any places.

I had breakfast and worked on the puzzle while Phil did his at-home workout provided by his gym. The kids played a Brain Pop! game that had them simulating government leadership. I washed dishes. And applied for unemployment. Maybe I should have done that first thing in the week but I just couldn’t get up the emotional strength to do it. I have some past stress involving government benefits and unemployment. Phil applied once when he was in between jobs and his employer disputed it. We fought it; Phil had to show up at a hearing to plead his case. And it was just an overall icky experience. Our family also spent a lot of years receiving food stamp and medical assistance benefits. For some reason, needing those assistances is less acceptable than filing for unemployment. I don’t remember as many people being so encouraging about applying for food stamps as they’ve been about applying for unemployment.

I signed a contract for some freelance work that will occupy me for the next several months. (Don’t get too excited. Freelance work doesn’t pay in a timely manner. I’ll celebrate at the end of the year.)

We spent about 40 minutes as a family reading in the living room. The quiet was calming. We ate lunch and watched part of another episode of the monkey documentary. Phil left for work, and I filled out our Census survey. I ordered postage stamps online and signed up for a coffee subscription from my favorite local coffee roaster. Two of my favorite bags of coffee guaranteed to come to my house every month. Maybe I can get through this.

Daughter and I did another at-home lesson for Girls on the Run, creating an obstacle course on our porch and a song about what makes us feel strong.

I watched another episode of Jamestown and started thinking about dinner. I read a little and put some more of the puzzle together. The monkey is taking shape. My goal is to finish by Saturday so we can have our dining table back.

Phil brought home flowers for me. I asked if they had any at the farm but wasn’t sure if they would. He brought a flat of pansies and one primrose. I’ll be planting flowers outside tomorrow. I don’t even care if it snows this weekend. I need to see spring and beauty. I did notice buds on the lilac bush already. What will the world be like when the lilac blooms? I take some comfort in the rhythms that remain.

I made dinner: tortellini with sliced sausage and frozen broccoli in a homemade marinara sauce. (Need dinner ideas? I can probably help you out. Nothing fancy. Totally doable.) The kids went outside after dinner. I was going to and then the governor closed all non-life-sustaining businesses and Phil and I wondered what exactly that meant. We turned on the local news, again only able to handle about five minutes of that. I sat outside on the porch for a few minutes, but it was a damp day and even though temperatures were in the 50s, I was chilled. Back to the puzzle.

Both kids took a bath. A few weeks ago I bought some epsom salt bubble bath for my muscle recovery ,and I’ve told the kids it’s magic bath water for their sore muscles. After yesterday’s hike, they were both interested in a magic bath. Can’t say I blame them. I might take one myself yet tonight.

Now it’s back to screens with a side of ice cream before bed. We made it through another day.

Filed Under: family, social distancing Tagged With: coronavirus, life during a pandemic, social distancing

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Hi. I’m Lisa, and I’m glad you’re here. If we were meeting in real life, I’d offer you something to eat or drink while we sat on the porch letting the conversation wander as it does. That’s a little bit what this space is like. We talk about books and family and travel and food and running, whatever I might encounter in world. I’m looking for the beauty in the midst of it all, even the tough stuff. (You’ll find a lot of that here, too.) Thanks for stopping by. Stay as long as you like.

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