Day 16. Today, I needed my husband’s arms. Not so much for me, but for our five-month-old. The boy would not nap today. I blame teething. And my own inability to sit still for longer than a few minutes. Maybe I should say he would not nap anywhere but in someone’s arms, and I had no patience or desire for that. Nap time is Mommy time, and I selfishly wanted it today. Each time I tried to put my son on a bed or in a pack n’ play, his eyes popped open and he gave me that “Oh, was I sleeping? ‘Cause now I’m not” look. And I just got more and more frustrated. Thankfully, my dad was home from work, so he entertained his grandson for a couple of non-sleeping hours while I took a break then finished fixing dinner.
I could have napped, too. I should have napped, too. But I resisted. And I know if my husband had been here, I could have easily plopped my sleeping son in his lap and let him be the baby sitter during nap time. This is something my husband does well and even enjoys. Especially if he’s not had a lot of time with the children. He can just sit and hold them for as long as it takes. Me? I think of a hundred other things I could, or should, be doing.
And I feel like a bad mother for admitting that, but it’s the truth. Not all “hold me” days are like this for me. Some days, I give in and take a nap, too, or get caught up on a good book.
Not sure why today was different. But we survived another day without a daddy. And found another reason we need him in our lives.