Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

new experiences

A month to remember: A lot of firsts for our family in May

I forgot how overwhelming and busy the month of May can be when life is closer to normal. Last May was nowhere near normal, so I was unprepared for how exhausting (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) the month would be. But here we are, at the end of it, and we made it. Summer is knocking on the door, and I’m hopeful for some rest and rejuvenation. Before we hit summer hard, though, here’s our round-up of May: What We Did, What We Ate, What We Watched and What We Read. Buckle up! It’s a ride.

What We Did

One of the first things the kids and I did was re-organized and cleaned out the pantry. Confession: we had a small ant situation that necessitated this action, but overall the pantry shelves become a catch-all, especially after a significant grocery trip. Stuff gets forgotten and pushed to the back. It was in desperate need of cleaning and re-organizing. I did not take a before picture because that would have been embarrassing. The three of us worked together, and my son’s main contribution was taking each item out one at a time and reading the label. Out loud. “This is fun,” he said. Meanwhile, I was holding in a scream.

After we reorganized.

Next up was a trip to Longwood Gardens. At the end of April, we purchased a membership for the year. It was a retroactive birthday present for me since last year I was supposed to go see Hamilton in Washington, D.C. We repurposed the Hamilton money and bought a membership, something we’ve been wanting and meaning to do for years. May 2 was the last day of the spring blooms exhibit at Longwood, so we made the day trip. We had never wandered the meadow trails and honestly, these were some of the best moments of the day because fewer people were on those trails. The main garden area was packed with people in various states of COVID compliance. Stay tuned for future visits because we can.

I love tulips.

May is a month of celebrations, and first up is MY birthday. I took cupcakes to work to share with some friends and some of those friends treated me the next day to lunch and bought balloons for my desk.

I was told I’m supposed to announce my birthday so my co-workers can help me celebrate.

Quarantine. Again! No, that’s not a holdover from last month. Our daughter had a second quarantine just two weeks after her previous quarantine. It’s wild times we’re living in.

All-day lacrosse tournament. (Twice.) I was sort of dreading it, but they turned out to be mostly enjoyable. The first one was cold but fun, even though our team lost all of its games. I enjoyed being around the other lacrosse parents and cheering on our sons. The second one we were at for 10 hours total. So much lacrosse.

One of our firsts in May is that I got tested for COVID. I woke up one morning with cold-like symptoms that had developed overnight. In normal circumstances, I would not have thought twice about the symptoms but it was the worst I’ve felt in a year (even though it wasn’t that bad). After a video call with a health care provider, I got a COVID test. It was negative so it must have been just a body-shutting-down end-of-school-year cold.

We had a FaceTime Uno date with our niece and her parents. One of my favorite things about quarantine is learning how to play games with people via video call. I want to do more of this.

Another first: our daughter got her first dose of COVID vaccine. She will be fully vaccinated by the end of next month, which will bring us great relief.

Phil stopped at a record shop after getting the car inspected and added to his cassette tape collection. Either that or he time-traveled.

I said “yes” to an invitation to drink margaritas at a friend’s house with her neighbors. I usually need a lot of encouragement to leave the house on a Friday night. I have no regrets about this decisions. I met some new people! 

Apparently trying new things with new people is another theme for the month. Since January, we’ve been attending a new church online. This church hosted the first of its summer hikes in May, so the kids and I went. Meeting strangers in the woods? What could go wrong? The answer was nothing. The next day we attended that church in person and have now been there in person twice. It’s not easy being the new people, especially during a pandemic, but this return to community has been encouraging already.

We were nervous, excited and awkward … so you know, totally normal.

We took a virtual adventure to Myanmar (Burma).

And finished the lacrosse season. As fun as it was, it is so good to be done for the year.

Another celebration: our anniversary. I took the day off, and Phil and I went hiking together at Otter Creek Nature Preserve. We hiked for an hour and a half then stopped for a picnic lunch that we had purchased at Wegman’s. Then it was another couple of hours of hiking. Four hours total on a 90-degree day and we ran out of water while hiking because we packed too little with us on the hike. (There was plenty in the car.)

At the Urey Overlook of the Susquehanna River from the York County side of the river.

Then, date night! For the first time since pre-pandemic. We sat on the porch of a local restaurant and ate and drank while it rained. But the rain only added to the experience, and I could eat outside most of the time for the rest of my life and not be sad.

Did I mention that this was my first time eating out since pre-pandemic? We’ve done a lot of take-out.

Isabelle and I ran the Race Against Racism virtual 5K. It was after the reporting window for the race, but our spring was a little bit cray-cray so we ran it on Memorial Day just to say we did.

Before we started running

Then we weeded the garden.

Maybe it won’t be a lost cause after all

And went for ice cream at Lancaster Sweet Shoppe. They were having an anniversary sale. Does BOGO ice cream taste better? Can’t be sure because the ice cream at the sweet shoppe is always good.

I thought we were done with the tongue photos, but apparently not.
I cannot begin to count the number of ice cream photos we have of him.
Her Insta photos always look better.

What We Ate

While we were visiting Longwood Gardens, we bought food there, another thing we’ve never done, mostly because pre-pandemic you could leave and come back, so we would picnic. Among the four of us, we had a wood-fired pizza, smoked cauliflower bites, parmesan truffle wings, a brisket grilled cheese, Hershey chocolate ice cream, and two ice cream sandwiches from a local place called iSwich. We will now be searching for their ice cream closer to home. It’s pricey but all the food was delicious and we needed the fuel for all of our walking.

So. Many. Cupcakes. I had three from Lancaster Cupcake in less than 24 hours: a London Fog, a Cannoli and a Vanilla Party Cake.

I also ate peanut butter pie and a southwest salad for my takeout lunch at work.

We did not light the candle because I was not about to be the reason the fire alarm went off.

And we ordered from Annie Bailey’s Irish Public House for my birthday dinner. I had the Irish nachos over waffle fries. Two of the family had bangers and mash, and our meatatarian ate a Beyond Burger. He is sold on this plant-based protein initiative and I am all for it.

What’s not to love?

Pizza and stromboli from Pasquale’s because of lacrosse tournament number one. It normally would have been a pizza night from our son’s menu but we figured none of us would want to cook after being gone all day. (We were right.)

Mother’s Day breakfast: Eggs Benedict, potatoes O’Brien, danishes, donuts, fresh strawberries, chocolate milk.

I didn’t have to cook: my favorite kind of breakfast

Frisco’s Chicken with some delicious sides: mac and cheese, chicken fried rice, plantains, yuca fries, empanadas.

Smoked turkey breast. Phil did the smoking. We pulled it and made sandwiches for one of our busy lacrosse nights.

Chicken biryani for our virtual adventure to Myanmar.

It was a Burmese take on chicken biryani and we ate this for an entire week as leftovers.

Ice cream at Freeze and Frizz with the entire lacrosse program in our school district. It was 50 degrees outside.

Meat, cheese, bread, almonds, nectarines and a ganache cheesecake for our anniversary hiking picnic.

We made our own charcuterie for hiking.

And then we went out to anniversary dinner at Quip’s Pub, a local British pub. We shared crab dip for an appetizer. Phil had fish and chips (wrapped in newspaper!) and I had Miss Lacreevy’s chicken (chicken with ham and brie and asparagus, topped with balsamic and served over mashed potatoes). And beer. Because it’s a celebration.

What We Watched

More WandaVision. If you read last month’s description of the show, it was not inclusive of everything the show is about. I mean, after four episodes, I don’t have a clear idea of what the show is about. That doesn’t mean it’s bad. The opposite in fact. Compelling. Good storytelling. Every episode leaves us with a “WHAAAAT??” feeling. We finished it, and we still have that feeling.

The Nate Bargatze episode of The Stand-ups. More laughter. Some backstory for the jokes he told in the longer special we watched last month, which I now want to go back and watch again.

And his other comedy special The Greatest Average American. Again, lots of laughs.

Footloose in Switzerland with David and Debra Rixon. Do I now want to move to a Swiss village in the mountains? Yes.

Call the Midwife. 

Kim’s Convenience. I laughed out loud within minutes of the first episode. I’m always reluctant to start a new series, even when I’ve heard good things. So far, this one doesn’t disappoint. One thing that’s hard for me is the accents because I think I’ve only ever heard Korean accents in television in a mocking sort of way. So, it’s jarring to hear them used in everyday conversation as part of the show and not be internally offended. We finished season 1 and are already several episodes into season 2. I’m stilling LOLing.

When Calls the Heart. I was so bummed when the show was pulled from Netflix. I had watched up to season 5 (heart-breaking!) so earlier this year I bought the DVD boxed set and shared it with friends. When they were finished watching, it was my turn. I picked up where I left off with the Christmas special at the start of season 6. And continued watching a few episodes in that season.

The Africam at Neledi Dam, South Africa. In keeping with our birdcam obsession, a wildlife cam in Africa came up on our suggested list and we watched for many minutes and now I’m going to be obsessed even more. I’ve since tuned in to other African wildlife cams. I can’t stop. I’ve seen birds sleeping near hippos, giraffes just eating till they can’t eat anymore and warthogs.

For our virtual adventure, a documentary about the Burma Road that is being built by hand through Myanmar to connect China and India. Fascinating.

Another episode of History of Swear Words. The “b-word” this time. My favorite part of this show is how academic and professional people talk about these words and their origins and usage. I’m also learning about all kinds of jobs I think I wish I could have had.

What We Read

The Brutal Telling by Louise Penny. It left me with questions and an immediate need to read the next book, which I requested from the library.

Evicted. Finished it for book club and am still reeling from my second read-through.

Truman. Continued. Slowly chipping away at it. Will I finish it before summer is over? Stay tuned!

When He Was Wicked by Julia Quinn. Bridgerton Book 6 and is it repetitive to say that each one is better than the last?

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway. It was like reading Hemingway’s journal. And he made Paris come alive at a time when it was filled with American writers. Enjoyable.

Come Back to Me by Jody Hedlund. This is the first in a new series by one of my favorite authors. It has echoes of Outlander themes in it (modern woman time travels to the past, meets handsome rescuer, struggles with decision to return to her time). Not a substitute for Outlander but a strong story that tugs on your emotions in all the right places.

It’s In His Kiss by Juila Quinn. Bridgerton book 7. Not my favorite of the Bridgerton books, but I’m nearing the end and I won’t stop until I’ve read ’em all.

Bury Your Dead by Louise Penny. I’m already about a third of the way through it, and I cannot stop reading about Inspector Gamache.

Bonus book treat: I did not read all of these books yet, but on a particularly stressful day at work, I went shopping at the BOGO (buy one, get one) book fair at our school. I have no regrets.

This stack does not include the books my daughter bought. Do we have a problem? Nope!

Thanks for reading along with our May happenings. Next month brings the end of school and the start of summer and what I hope are more adventures. Till next time!

A letter to my kids: Don’t let anyone tell you what the city is or isn’t

We rode the bus for the first time today, kids, and I know you were excited about this new adventure. The lead-up to it was more fun, I’m afraid, than the fulfillment. Waiting at the bus, anticipating its arrival had us giddy with excitement (and a bit of nervousness maybe), but by the time we boarded, it was no big thing. You wore your feelings on your faces as our bodies warmed up.

You take it all in stride, these new experiences we take you on. When we say, let’s go to the Episcopal church service that’s really different than our church’s service and have steaming hot bowls of pho afterwards, you don’t hesitate to say yes. Sometimes I wonder if we’re leading you wrong. Would we take you with us into these unknowns if we didn’t have to track down a sitter every time we wanted to do something new in the city?

I think we would. We can’t help ourselves.

Your dad and I, we didn’t grow up in any kind of city but somehow we’re drawn to one, this one in particular, and as far as cities go, it’s small but full of life. I remember being afraid of cities when I was a kid. Unsure of how to find our way there. Averting my eyes when anyone approached asking for money. The city was a place to visit not to live.

Until now.

You know that we’re talking about moving there, to the city. It is a nudge we cannot ignore. And we want you to see what we see.

Because plenty of people will try to tell you things about the city. They might tell you it’s not safe or that bad people live there or that it is ugly, especially when compared to the sprawling farmland just outside the city, the wide open spaces we’re used to in the Midwest.

I can’t deny that some of what they say is true. The city is not safe. Bad people live there. And there are ugly parts.

But a lot of those people telling you those things haven’t been to the city recently or don’t go there often. Or maybe they do and they see what they want to see.

We want you to see differently.

I don’t want to scare you but nowhere is safe, not really. If gunmen can kill children in schools or Christians in churches then is there anywhere truly safe? This is not a reason to fear the world but the very reason we take you out into it. So you can see for yourself. A writer and philosopher named Frederick Buechner says something like this: “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”

You will see terrible things, I know. Things I can’t keep you from seeing forever. But I want you to look for the beautiful things, too.

It is true that bad people live in the city but bad people live everywhere (and I’m really struggling with that label anyway; is anyone more bad than anyone else? Are we not all a mixture of the best and worst parts of ourselves?). On the bus today, people thanked the driver as they left. It’s an unnecessary kindness, but it reminds me that people are not all the worst things we think of them. As we sat and ate lunch at the market, strangers stopped to talk to us. (I confess, this is uncomfortable for me, but I lean into the discomfort and try to make these people more real.)

It probably didn’t hurt that you were some of the only kids in the market on a Friday thanks to a wacky school schedule, but the people making your subs wanted to talk to you as did the old men who sat down at the table next to us. The one wearing the name tag told us he was a hymnologist, someone who studies hymns. I have no idea if this is a real thing but he told us stories of how “Jesus Loves Me” came to be a classic hymn of the church. The other man showed you the whiteness of his hair and lamented the loss of the red color that was so similar to yours, Isabelle.

A man did ask us for money, but instead of being afraid, I turned to address him. I didn’t have what he needed today, but I’ve seen him near the market before so I’ll look for him next time and ask him his name. He reminds me that we haven’t seen our other homeless “friends” in a while. It is winter, and I hope they are warm.

And as to ugliness, well, I just don’t see it. Yes, there are buildings and cars and buses and trash (but let’s face it, when the wind blows hard in the country, our lawn is littered with more trash than I knew existed), but Lancaster happens to be a city of history, art and architecture. Someday I want us to just walk the city and take pictures of all the beautiful things. The food at market. The people on the street. The bricks on the old church building. I can’t wait to do our part to make a little corner of the city more beautiful. Whatever that ends up looking like.

I want this to be the way you approach life, whether it’s the city or something else. If someone tells you things are a certain way, I want you to investigate and see for yourself. If someone tells you that refugees are dangerous, I want you to remember our friends, the ones who invite us into their homes and cook for us and play with you. I want you to remember my stories of all the new people I meet and how they want what everyone wants: a home, a job, purpose, a place to raise their families without fear.

If someone tells you the world is broken, I want you to look for any sign of wholeness you can find, and if you can’t find it, I want you to find a way to make the world a little less broken. With a smile. A friendly gesture. Or something more. 

I want you to treat the people who serve you like they are your family or friends. When we get on the bus, we greet the bus driver as a person, maybe even find out his or her name. I couldn’t help thinking of Uncle Bill today as we rode the bus, and all the driving he did around Denver. I miss him.

Even if someone tells you that a certain kind of people are bad, I want you to think like Jesus and see if you can find the good. And even if you can’t, I want you to love them anyway.

I know this is a lot to take in after a simple bus ride and a few hours in the city, but I don’t want to leave anything unsaid. You trust us, for now, to do what’s best for you and that’s a responsibility I can hardly handle most days. I’m not all that good at taking care of myself yet for some reason God entrusted the two of you to me and your dad. We’re both pretty screwed up human beings and I can only hope God knew what He was doing. Maybe you’re here to help us be better people.

You might not always trust us or believe us, and when that happens, I hope you’ll have enough experiences of your own to draw from. Maybe you’ll be able to trust yourselves a little.

For now, we don’t intend to let up on the new and different. We have barely discovered all that the city has to offer. I hope you’ll keep joining in on our crazy ideas.

Adventure is more fun when you’re with us.