Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

oneword365

The One Word I want to live this year

Yesterday I recapped my first OneWord365 experience, a year of releasing and letting go.

A month or so ago, I started thinking about my next One Word. What did I want to experience, live and be challenged by in 2014?

My soul settled on the word “enjoy.”

That sounds lovely, right? And on the surface, that might seem like not so much of a challenge.

But it is.

See, for several years now, I’ve not really been enjoying my life. I’ve been tolerating and surviving and plodding through to the next thing. Which is why “release” was so important to me this year. I was carrying a bunch of baggage in my heart, soul and mind.

Now that I’m free-er, I find myself in a season of goodness.

I love the house we’re living in. Our lives are full of good friends and supportive community through our church and this new city we’ve moved to. For the first time in years I can say “life is good” and mean it. It’s not perfect, of course, but it’s so incredibly different than the past five years that I almost don’t believe it’s true.

So, for the coming year I want to enjoy. I want to trust in God’s goodness and not worry about the future. I want to live as though we’re going to be here for a long time instead of being constantly on the lookout for our next move, our next house, our next job.

I want to play with my kids and say “yes” more often to the fun things instead of being bogged down in the drudgery of chores and “have-to.” I want to “want to.”

I’m already scaling back the number of books I’m going to review on my blog because I want to enjoy reading and not feel obligated to read. I’m weaning myself from my coffee habit so I can enjoy a cup of coffee for the pleasure of it instead of feeling like I need to have it to survive.

And these are just the beginning stages. If 2013 was any indication, I have no idea what God has planned for my year when it comes to “enjoying.”

I’ll post throughout the year about what I’m learning and experiencing along the way. I’d love for you to follow along and share your stories, too.

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And if you haven’t signed up with the OneWord365 community, there’s still time! Choosing one word for a year is the most effective change I’ve experienced for an entire year. I’d encourage you to give it a try.

How 'release' is changing me

I began this OneWord journey four months ago. You can read about what I learned in January and February in previous posts.

“You have set my feet in an open place.”

Psalm 31:8

At times, in my life, I feel trapped. Unable to move beyond the boundaries I, or others, have set for me. I want to escape but don’t see a way out. And I don’t always know what it is I’m trying to escape.

But in the months since adopting “release” as my OneWord for the year, I have felt freedom like never before.

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“Release” has  become more than a word to me.

It is the words of the psalmist to his Lord, “You have set my feet in an open place.”

An open place where I can run or sit or look up at the sky. Where I can feel the sun on me and see for miles.

This is how I feel four months after hearing God whisper, “Let go” when I needed a word for the year.

It is seemingly small decisions.

Like cleaning out my e-mail inbox so I no longer have 300 unread messages. (Let it go, Lisa. If you didn’t read the blog posts the first time, you aren’t going to read them now.) And unsubscribing to lists I’m no longer interested in. And saying “no” when I can’t do the task someone asks of me.)

How did I not know there was freedom in saying “no”?

It is lines from a poem from a brother in ministry that speaks to my writing and the whole of my life.

What if, writing, I always seem to leave

Some better thing, or better way, behind,

Why should I therefore fret at all, or grieve!

The worse I drop, that I the better find;

The best is only in thy perfect mind.

Fallen threads I will not search for–I will weave.

Who makes the mill-wheel backward strike to grind! – George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul

I will weave. These words embedded in my soul when I read them. I’ll stop looking for something better and I will do the thing I’m called to do.

It is quotes on social media that affirm the power of letting go.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.”
― C. JoyBell C.

And,

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
― Ann Landers

It is song lyrics from reluctant prophets like Mumford & Sons, particularly “I Will Wait.”

I’m drawn to these words: “a tethered mind freed from the lies” and “now in some way shake the excess.”

It is this prayer to surrender everything I have to God: “We release from our hands to Yours the things and people we have held too tightly.” (The Power of a Praying Wife devotional by Stormie Omartian).

It is the very difficult decision to let a dream die. To weep and wail and feel your guts being ripped out because you have believed that this thing is the ONLY thing God has for you.

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It is choosing to embrace the wilderness because it might actually be where you live.

It is becoming indifferent in a good way. “This is a state of wide-openness to God in which I am free from undue attachment to any particular outcome and I am capable of relinquishing whatever might keep me from choosing for love.” (Sacred Rhythms, Ruth Haley Barton, 119)

It is the peace that settles afterwards. Like dropping a pair of heavy bags you’ve been lugging through life and melting into the couch.

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With “release” comes “rest” and “relief.”

And this realization that Jesus meant what he said.

If you lose your life for His sake, you will find it.

By letting go, I have found life.

One word.

It seemed so simple.

I suspect I have much more to learn.