Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

parenting

This is what a mom sees while watching hockey

The Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup this week. I’m no sports fanatic but even I know it was the Blackhawks and not the Bears who won. (Did you see that picture on Facebook from a newspaper? Too funny!)

And I freely admit that I only watch hockey when it’s important. Like when your “hometown” team is playing for the title. My husband let me know early on what our TV viewing would be as the series progressed, so I knew that at least one night this week, hockey would be on TV and I would be reading or cross-stitching or otherwise occupying myself.

Because I don’t really understand what’s going on during a hockey game. Or is it a match? Put me in front of a baseball game and I’m set. Even football is a little more understandable. I grew up watching those two sports regularly. Hockey is a foreign concept for me.

But on the night of the Stanley Cup win, I found myself watching on purpose instead of checking out.

And you know what I saw?

Parenting! You guys, hockey is JUST LIKE parenting.

Seriously. Here are the similarities:

  • There were grown people chasing a small object from one end of the rink to the other for what seemed like a bazillion minutes. Isn’t this what happens in parenting? Sometimes I think chasing this object while trying to stay upright on ice skates would be an easier balancing act than parenting.
  • And there were time outs! The hockey players who commit a no-no have to sit out for a short time. Our parenting days are full of time-outs, and I gotta tell you, the adult hockey players looked just about as pleased as my kids about going to time out.
  • What about all the hitting and being slammed into the glass? I have a boy child who thinks torture is a love language. He will randomly run up behind me and “pat me” on the back because he wants a hug. Sometimes his sister will throw a punch when she’s frustrated. I had no idea I was grooming hockey players! (FYI, they go to time out for hitting–see above!)
  • And the spectators. Parenting is not a spectator sport, but have you ever noticed when you’re out in public that there are plenty of people who are watching you parent? Some of them love you; some of them hate you. I think hockey fans are the same. There’s lots of yelling and cheering and booing.

Okay, so maybe parenting and hockey aren’t EXACTLY the same, but I think it would be totally okay to put on some padding underneath my clothes and carry a stick just to get through the day. Not to hit anyone with but just to bat away the flying objects.

A book that bares its soul and offers connection: Review of Scary Close by Donald Miller

For all the controversy he generates, I need the reminder that Donald Miller is just a guy trying to make sense of his world and himself through his faith, experiences and relationships.

scary closeOne thing I admire about him as a writer is his willingness to share his failings as well as his strengths, to acknowledge the controversies but not necessarily apologize for his words. It’s been a long time since I read one of his books but his latest, Scary Close, to me, felt like an honest, heartfelt baring of the soul. The Donald Milller I thought I knew from previous work is not the same writer of this book. That’s encouraging.

(Disclaimer: I received a free copy of the book through the Booklook Bloggers program in exchange for my review.)

A writer like Miller might be tempted to withdraw and stop telling stories. But Miller opens up, however reluctantly, and talks about how relationships changed him. Healthy ones and unhealthy ones.

He writes much about his relationship with his now-wife Betsy and what he’s learned and is still learning about intimacy. I like to think I’m pretty good at going deep in relationships but Miller’s words challenge me to discover the real me behind the mask I wear.

Scary Close is written memoir-style but the truths Miller shares, what he’s learning about intimacy, are lessons for all of us to consider.

I’m glad my husband read this book before I did so that now we can talk through some of the things we read. Miller’s words make me want to improve my relationships across the board and offer the kind of vulnerability he’s received. (After reading Bob Goff’s generous and gracious foreward, I was so moved by his use of the word “love” that I told a friend I loved her. I don’t usually do this for people who aren’t family.)

Though Miller addresses topics like dating, marriage and parenting, his words apply to relationships as a whole. I love the hope he offers for those of us who have gotten the intimacy thing wrong.

Miller offers grace and encouragement for the journey.