Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

prayer

A whole new world of parenting

My husband and I used to tell people we wanted to have 8 kids — 4 by birth and 4 by adoption.

Having 2 kids 20 months apart has changed that. So did reading this book. 

I won’t say that “Praying Through Your Adoption” closed the door in my mind to ever adopting a child, but it certainly gave me a lot to think about that I never before considered. Like the sacrifices (not just financial) involved, and the waiting (I’m terrible at waiting!), and the insecurity (will the birth mother change her mind?).

We’re nowhere close to being in a place to be ready to adopt. I knew that before reading. But now I know some of the things that need to happen before we ever begin pursuing it. Things like prayer, most of all, and research. What I appreciated most about this book were the personal stories of victory, frustration, anguish, elation, compassion, submission and reality. The author, Michele C. Scott, shares not only her own family’s story of adopting a son, but dozens of other families’ experiences.

This is a rich resource for anyone considering adoption. And because of that, I would like to give the book away. If you’re considering adoption for the first time, or a second or third time, or know someone who would benefit from this resource, then leave a comment on this blog. On Friday, August 5, I’ll pick a winner using Random.org and post the results here. For additional chances to win a book, visit the Christian Speaker Services blog or check out the Virtual Book Tour on Facebook.

And read on for an interview with the author.

What can you tell us about yourself, your childhood, and the present?

I grew up as an only child in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Faith was a vital part of our family life, so I believed in God from an early age. About mid-way through college, after heartaches and some poor decisions, I decided to trust Jesus and the plans He has for my life. I graduated, moved to the suburbs, and married my husband, Eric. I worked in the corporate world and Christian ministry before becoming a work-at-home mom through adoption.


When did you first realize you wanted to become a writer? 

I started writing poems and stories for fun as a child. I even had a poem published in Highlights for Children. Through high school and college I enjoyed researching and writing papers, but I never considered becoming a professional writer until I wrote Praying Through Your Adoption.

What inspired you to write Praying Through Your Adoption?

I’ve been talking to God in prayer for as long as I can remember. I turned to prayer during our infertility, and I had planned to pray through a pregnancy if that had been God’s plan. While adopting our son from Russia, we experienced painful delays and obstacles, such as increased fees and additional paperwork. At a particularly low point in the adoption process, I participated in an online prayer vigil that directed me to pray for very specific aspects of adoption – from government officials to waiting children. I realized the power of prayer specifically in adoption and saw the need to help other families pray through their adoptions as well.

How did you come up with the title?

Becoming an adoptive family is a process. First, you make decisions about the type of adoption and the age of the child you wish to pursue. Then you work to become approved, educated, and prepared for welcoming and parenting this new child. Praying Through Your Adoption shows families how to rely on God and their faith through the entire journey of creating and nurturing their forever family.

What other life experiences shaped you to write this book?

Wow, many life experiences influenced this book. Our infertility is probably the biggest since the longing and waiting for our son is a large portion of our story. But even getting laid-off right before our adoption, experiencing post-adoption depression, and dealing with special needs made me want to encourage others dealing with similar difficulties.

What was the hardest part of writing your book?

Retelling my experience with post-adoption depression was hard. After our difficult time becoming parents, I never imagined I’d feel overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed as a new mom. As much as I wanted to skip over that chapter in my life and in the book, I felt it was important to paint a realistic picture for prospective adoptive families. Thankfully, other adoptive families were willing to share their real-life joys and challenges in the book as well.

What’s one of the most important things people need to know about adoption?

One of my favorite quotes in the book is from the late Derek Loux, an adoptive father of and an advocate for orphans. He said,

“My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it.”

Derek’s words capture so much. There is loss, and, yes, there are sacrifices – financial and otherwise – in adoption. But the rewards for answering God’s call to care for orphans are priceless.

Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?

In writing the book, I had the opportunity to feature around 20 families and their unique adoption stories. No matter the circumstances, I could see the special love that ordinary families experience as forever families. I’m grateful for their transparency and support for this project, and I think the readers will be, too.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers? 

With over 143 million orphans across the globe, I would love to see more families consider adoption. But I deeply respect the person who reads this interview or picks up this book and, for whatever reason, decides adoption is not right for them. I hope they would at least consider providing prayer support and perhaps even financial support to families pursuing adoption.

Where can readers learn more about you and adoption?

I encourage readers to visit www.PrayLoveAdopt.com, a website I created to provide information, encouragement, and prayer support for families in any stage of the adoption journey. Visitors can read an excerpt from Praying Through Your Adoption and order a paperback or e-book copy if they desire. They can also visit my blog, www.MommyForward.com, and my main website, www.MicheleCScott.com to learn more about me and my other projects.

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I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speaker Services (www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com).

Praying through Lent

40 days is a long time. Anyone who has given up something they really like for Lent knows this. Chocolate, french fries, caffeine, coffee … it’s not always easy to live without them for a few weeks, and the sacrifice doesn’t always stick with us when Lent ends.

I’ve never been really faithful about giving up things for Lent, and frankly I’m not 100 percent sure why or if I should. But this year, I wanted to acknowledge the season in some way, so Phil and I talked about praying together daily.

© Simon Krzic | Dreamstime.com

We’ve been looking for ways to grow spiritually, and the disciplines of the Christian life — Bible study, quiet time, prayer — have not come easy for us in our married life. If they were done at all, they were done more out of a sense of duty than of a desire to become more like Christ. In the months leading up to Lent, we had both established regular times of Bible reading and personal devotions, but our prayer life still lacked. So, we decided to commit ourselves to praying together once a day for the duration of Lent.

We prepared a prayer calendar listing the names of family and friends for whom we wanted to pray. (We actually created the list months before but hadn’t made the commitment to pray.) We hung it in a place where we could see it. And we sent Facebook messages (mostly; we did make a couple of phone calls) asking for prayer requests from the people who were coming up on the list for the week. (If we didn’t contact you, it doesn’t mean we aren’t praying for you. Sometimes, we got too busy to send the messages before the day arrived.)

This became one of my favorite parts of the day. It took both of us, sometimes, to remember that we had to pray. Sometimes it was afternoon; sometimes it was almost midnight. Sometimes we were really alert; other times we fell asleep during prayer time. We did miss a day or two toward the end, but for us, this was a major step in our daily practice of our faith.

Besides growing us closer to God and each other, this commitment opened the way for closer relationships with friends and family members. At times, Phil and I are horrible at keeping in touch with people. We post pictures of our kids months after we took them. We don’t respond to voicemails or e-mails or letters or Facebook message, mostly because we forget and are lazy, not because we don’t care. Living 700 miles from family is a greater distance than it first seemed, and technology doesn’t always close that distance for us.

Praying for people made us make an effort to keep in touch, and we learned new things about those closest to us and were able to feel their needs more deeply because we’d heard from them.

The calendar is set up for four weeks, so if we’re faithful to our commitment, we’re praying for the people on it about once a month. The second time through the calendar, we haven’t been asking for requests because it almost seemed too soon, like the requests may not have changed in a month. We’re still praying for people, but we’re evaluating how we gather prayer requests, and if we should ask every time we’re praying for a particular person.

I’m considering setting up a Facebook group for those on our prayer calendar to create a place where people could leave their requests if they have something they want us to pray for. That almost seems too passive, impersonal and public — not at all what I want our prayer life to be about.

Asking for prayer requests is kind of a tricky matter. I think the question, “How can I pray for you?” is too often seen as a spiritual substitute for “What juicy thing is going on in your life that I want to know about?” I’ve certainly felt like that, both when asked and when doing the asking, but when I’m actually praying for the person, I don’t feel guilty asking how I can pray.

The Bible says that even if I don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit does. Talk about mind-blowing: I can’t begin to imagine how that works. So, I also know that I don’t need to know what to pray for in order to pray. We certainly didn’t get a response from everyone, yet we prayed for those people.

So, I’m curious about your approach to prayer. Do you ask people what to pray for or trust that the Spirit will give you the words and needs? Do you intentionally pray for people on certain days or as the needs arise? Have you used a prayer calendar to organize your prayer life?

I know, for me, having a calendar has helped lessen the burden of prayer. Because, let’s face it, we can’t pray for everyone and everything everywhere all the time, but sometimes we feel like we should. The calendar has helped us focus our times of prayer but also gives us leeway to pray for other, timely needs when they happen.

Lent may be over, but the Easter season is just beginning. If you’re looking to add to your spiritual growth, take the 50 days of Easter (from this past Sunday to the Day of Pentecost, June 12) to try daily prayer or intentional prayer for those you love. Or pick some other area of spiritual growth where you feel you may be lacking. My husband the seminarian recommends Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline” and Ruth Haley Barton’s “Sacred Rhythms” as helpful resources for the Christian disciplines and spiritual growth.

If you make any kind of commitment for the Easter season, leave a comment and I’ll be glad to pray for you and encourage you on your journey. To prayer, my husband and I added a devotional reading for the Easter season.

Just as physical growth doesn’t happen all at once, neither does spiritual growth. Take one step today and see where it leads you.