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Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

separation

Togetherness

April 30, 2010

Day 6. Most weeks, Fridays are family days. Phil’s done with classes for the week and has fewer obligations during the day, so to “celebrate” another week passed, we tend to spend the day together until he has to go to work that night.

Today, the kids and I spent the day together but mostly indoors because I’m still not 100 percent over this flu bug, whatever it is. My MIL did come to the rescue, though, for part of the morning, and took Isabelle outside to play while it was still nice.

I know a week isn’t a long time, and we’ve been sick for most of the week, but I feel like my husband is missing out. With his school and work schedule, he’s able to be around the kids often during the day, so he sees a lot of their everyday behavior and changes. I feel like we’re making memories without him, even if we’re not doing anything monumental.

A few days ago, I walked through Amboy, the town where much of our courtship took place, and even though it’s been more than three years, the memories of those days came flooding back. I remembered walks we’d taken together, and trips to the pharmacy to have a Green River float from the soda fountain there. It was like no time had passed at all.

I have great memories of our dating years, but in the midst of our present life, they’ve slipped to the back, only to be brought to the front by a return to the scene. In the coming weeks, the kids and I are going to have lots of experiences my husband won’t be able to share with us, and although I know this is the way life has to be right now, I’m not exactly happy about it.

My husband spent a year in Iraq, before we were married, and I felt like my life was on hold. I tried to do more than just work and sleep, but at times I felt guilty for doing things without him. I didn’t eat out much or see many movies. I do not envy the families who have to endure this day in, day out, for a year or more.

So, I will count my blessings and try not to feel guilty if we have fun without him. And I’ll pray for many, many memories to come.

Filed Under: 21 Days of Separation, Uncategorized Tagged With: Amboy IL, Amboy Pharmacy, being together, dating, Green River, husbands and wives, Iraq, memories, military families, separation, soda fountain

21 days of separation

April 25, 2010

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so they say. I’m about to find out. My husband and I are on day 1 (really, hour 1, but I didn’t want to sound too pathetic) of a 21-day separation – the kids and I visiting family and friends, he finishing the semester.

Already, I miss him. I’m hoping to journal something I miss about him every day, and while our marriage is nowhere near “on the rocks”, I’m hoping this separation will strengthen our relationship.

Today, I missed that he takes care of car stuff, including car seats and such. Without my dad’s help, transferring car seats might have taken me all day. Installing the headrest mirror took far longer than it should have because I’m usually watching the children while my husband is preparing the car for the children.

I cried when he left but I wanted to be strong, to think that I can handle two kids for three weeks without him, but the truth is I can’t, and I can’t wait for him to come back.

Filed Under: 21 Days of Separation, Uncategorized Tagged With: absence, husbands and wives, separation

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Hi. I’m Lisa, and I’m glad you’re here. If we were meeting in real life, I’d offer you something to eat or drink while we sat on the porch letting the conversation wander as it does. That’s a little bit what this space is like. We talk about books and family and travel and food and running, whatever I might encounter in world. I’m looking for the beauty in the midst of it all, even the tough stuff. (You’ll find a lot of that here, too.) Thanks for stopping by. Stay as long as you like.

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