Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

shopping

Saturday smiles: friends in deed edition

Life got overwhelming this week. Kids sick off and on. Unexpected uncertainty. Fear. Gloom. Rainy days. Our last week of “freedom” before my husband starts his last semester of classes.

Once again, though, God came through, showing His faithfulness, giving me reasons to smile.

Sunday afternoon, my friend Dawn, whose husband is also in seminary, texted to ask if I could get out of the house that night. Her request made me chuckle because at times we feel like prisoners in our homes, slaves to our families, so getting out of the house for something as simple as ice cream and a trip to the grocery store without kids or husbands is like a mini-vacation. So refreshing. And I’m thankful that my husband didn’t hesitate when I told him about the text. He’s 100 percent supportive of me leaving the house when I need a break.

The next night, I got to talk with my best friend, Katrina, for what’s become a monthly phone date. She is so encouraging and uplifting, and I love that our friendship has spanned decades and life experiences and geographical distance.

Wednesday morning, I had breakfast with a fellow writer and pastor’s wife who has become a great friend. I was pretty low in spirit that day, but sitting with a bottomless mug of coffee and a breakfast sandwich at Panera with someone who’s “been there” was the cure for what ailed me.

Friendships don’t always come easily to me, so I’m grateful to have found a few kindred spirits in my life.

Other reasons to smile this week:

Seeing our nephew on Skype. He was sleeping, but still, it was more than a picture can show.

We had a financial scare this week but I spent a day worrying for nothing. God continues to take care of us.

During Bible study this week, we took time to encourage one another by telling of the positive qualities and spiritual gifts we see in each other. It was a fun and uplifting time, both in the giving and receiving.

Discovering that my husband was a recipient of $200 JCPenney gift card for being a veteran of Iraq. It’s an annual program for which he registered once before. Today we spent a family day helping him pick out some new clothes we wouldn’t have otherwise been able to afford.

Realizing I need to shop with my husband more often and/or pay more attention to the fashion trends of the day. Consider these comments while shopping:

Me: They make skinny jeans for guys?

Husband: Oh, yeah, you didn’t know that?

Me: “I need to get out more.”

And, me again, while noticing a pair of white jeans amongst the offerings: “You definitely should get a pair of those. What is this, 1985?”

Yet again, me: “Who would buy jeans with holes in them?” (Yes, it’s official. I’ve become old.)

Losing another pound and a half this week. That’s more than 9 pounds in almost a month!

Finishing our taxes.

Making snowmen out of the food offerings at Old Country Buffet. Check out the template here. And kids eating free? That’s ALWAYS a reason to smile.

Wishing you a week’s worth of smiles.

I used to think going to the movies alone was pathetic

Ditto for eating lunch alone.

Then I had kids, and “alone” went out the door with the first garbage bag of dirty diapers. I can hardly have a moment alone to go to the bathroom.

So after a particularly hectic week a few weeks ago, a friend suggested that I take some alone time — a sort of day off from motherhood — to regroup. Saturday was the perfect opportunity. My husband was away at a conference. My parents were available to keep the kids. And I’d done my homework. (Yes, I’m a nerd. I research my fun.)

© Christina Deridder | Dreamstime.com

First stop, Starbucks. Can you believe I’ve never been to Starbucks? I know it’s controversial and the coffee is expensive and maybe it’s not even that good, but I felt like it was a cultural experience I needed to have. I opted for a skinny caramel macchiato grande and a pumpkin scone. Truth be told, I was a little disappointed in the coffee. But the scone was de-lish. (Click here for my thoughts about my Starbucks experience.) I sat, I sipped, I nibbled and I read my Bible and journaled. Most days, that’s a regular part of my day but it’s often rushed. This day, I had the luxury of reading slowly and re-reading and pondering. It was divine.

Next on my agenda: a movie. I’m pretty sure I’ve never gone to a movie by myself before. I’ve watched movies by myself at home, but never in public. At least not that I can recall. I was always too socially awkward to attempt it, assuming that people would assume I was some sort of friendless loser who was so desperate for entertainment she had to take herself out to the movies. It turns out, no one much cares if you’re by yourself at the movie theater and the words “One for The Help” spilled confidently from my lips without hesitation, shame or stutter.

Digression: The Help is a fantastic movie. I liked it so much I bought the book at Target afterwards.

I laughed; I cried; I cheered; I cringed; I recoiled. And while I generally like to discuss a movie with a companion afterwards, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I enjoyed my all-by-myself movie experience. I didn’t feel pathetic once.

I shopped, with some purpose, and ate lunch at Panera, outside under an umbrella while reading a book. (Incidentally, I bought two books while shopping, even though my list of books to read is currently somewhere in the neighborhood of 107. I have a serious book addiction.)

I recently rediscovered that in the past, when I have most felt God’s presence, I have been alone. Undistracted in a world of endless distractions. And some of my spiritual frustration of late has been an absence of aloneness. If my kids don’t need me at the moment, then my husband does. Or even if he doesn’t say he does, I feel obligated to spend time with him. I know I can’t get back the quality or quantity of alone time I had as a single, but I’m reminded of the need to incorporate some alone time into my family-filled life now.

Saturday was a start.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship. With myself.