Beauty on the Backroads

Stories of grace for life's unexpected turns

Home

Learning to love your body, no matter the size

Today, I’m pleased to feature another guest post. While Monday’s post challenged us to look around at our world for opportunities to help those in need, today’s post challenges us, especially women, to look at ourselves the way God sees us — no matter our perceived imperfections. Teasi Cannon has struggled with weight issues and self-esteem issues. She’s not what the world would call a perfect 10 but she’s learned that in God’s eyes, she is just as she should be and she can be thankful in all things, even for a big bottom.

I’m not making that last part up. She’s so secure in her standing with God, she wrote a book and called it My Big Bottom Blessing. This book is a joy from start to finish. Teasi’s story will make you laugh and cry and hurt in all the right ways. She is refreshingly honest about body image, diets and self-worth, and she’s passionate about the God who can silence the lies of self and society. At the end of each chapter, Teasi includes questions for self-reflection.  I’m eager to revisit the journaling sections to discover the roots of my own body image issues and how God can speak into those.

Read on and hear from Teasi herself, and check out a sample chapter from the book.

Also find out how you can win a copy!

Now, without further delay, here’s Teasi!

Thankful for a Big Rear
by Teasi Cannon

One day not long ago I was sweeping my kitchen floor in the near trance-like state of La La Land, when I was jolted to my senses by the precious voice of my 4-year-old nephew saying, “Aunt Teasi, you have a vahwee (very) big butt.” 

I set my broom aside, smoothed my shirt, and calmly turned to face him.  Bright-eyed and curly-haired, he stood – completely oblivious to the fact that he had said the words no woman ever wants to hear.  And then I let him have it.  I bent down, coming only inches away from his little round face, and said, “Why…thank you!”  Then I smiled big, stood to grab my broom, and returned unscathed to the task at hand.

A few years ago those innocently spoken words would have completely obliterated me, and rather than a thank you, might have actually incited an immature come-back such as: “Oh, yeah?  Well, you’re short and you talk funny.”

But now, to the glory of God, moments like that are reminders to me that the miraculous has happened: I no longer hate my body (especially my back side); in fact, it has become one of the biggest blessings in my life.

Like most women (really every woman I’ve ever met), I lived years literally disgusted with what I saw in the mirror.  The territory between my ears felt like nothing short of a war zone, with battles being fought everywhere: the bathroom, the grocery store, the bedroom, even church.  I could never silence the ambush-ready community of inner critics (those hurtful thoughts we all think) that called my head home.  And I missed out on so much: parties I refused to attend because my pants were too tight, dates with my husband because of a few gained pounds, quality time with my kids.  I know I’m not alone in this.

We women have been lied to for years.  We’ve been told that our value – our very right to be seen and celebrated – is determined by our waist-to-hip ratio or the proportions of our facial features, and that’s just not true.  Our value is determined by the only One who really knows it: our God.

After hitting my head hard on the floor of my personal pit of despair, I slowly began my journey toward believing that.  One inch at a time of healing, truth, and righteous anger led me to a life-saving realization: All those years I was desperate to change how I looked, God was desperate to change how I see.  And He did.

Truth is, if God can make a prostitute the great-grandmother of the Messiah, turn water into wine, and make blind men see; don’t you think He can turn a big bottom – or a big nose – or bird-thin legs – or whatever it is you hate – into a blessing.  He did it for me, and I’m so ridiculously happy about the journey that I wrote a book about it.

———————-

TO READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER, click here.

WANT TO WIN YOUR OWN COPY? Leave me a comment here on the blog about why you’d like to read this book. I’ll announce the winner next Wednesday. For EXTRA chances to win, share this giveaway on Facebook or Twitter (and leave another comment here that you did that for up to two more extra entries), follow me on Twitter (and leave a comment that you did/do for another entry) and/or subscribe to or follow this blog (one total entry). So, that’s up five chances to win a great book!

————————

In exchange for this blog post, I received a free copy of the book.

Guest post: Bringing home strays (informal foster care)

Today, I’m honored to have a guest blogger. Carol Cool (yes, that’s her real name, and yes, she lives up to it) is a speaker, editor, writer, pastor’s wife and dear friend. Carol has been a mentor, encourager and supporter to me in countless ways. She and her husband, Les, serve in the same denomination my husband and I are part of. Find out more about Carol and how you can be a superstar where you are here. And if you’re looking for a retreat or event speaker, she’s your woman!

Today, Carol writes about her and Les’s journey with adoption and informal foster care. May is National Foster Care Month. Check out Carol’s blog for more stories, stats and tips that are helpful in ministering to and supporting people working in and with foster care.

——————————————————————-

“You and Les should do foster care,” said the guy sitting next to me at my brother’s wedding. He was the head of a children’s home, so he had a vested interest. Les happened to hear the comment and knew it would break my heart if I ever had to let a foster child go. So his reply was, “I’d have to have a personal message from God before I would ever let Carol do foster care.”

There was no personal message from God.

And yet over the years, Les and I have had 10 kids live in our home for periods of time, as well as two young adults and a single mom. Some were with us for only a few weeks, some a few months, the mom and her kids for almost a year, Joy forever. Not one came through a placement agency, government or private.

Les always says, “Some people bring home stray animals; Carol brings home stray people.” But I’m not the only one bringing them home; he’s brought his share. They’ve come as we’ve kept our eyes and ears and hearts open to how people are hurting. They’ve come as we’ve recognized a need we could fill. The family came through a thought God pressed on Les’s heart (so I guess there was a message from God).

Did my heart ever get broken? Multiple times. Eighteen-year-old Lori “left” before she even came, calling me before boarding a bus to head back to the mentally ill mother who had kicked her out at age 13, the mother who would attempt suicide two days after Lori arrived home. As she explained her rationale and the eagerness to be loved by her mother invaded her voice, I sat on the floor of our bedroom, hugging myself and sobbing. I was pretty sure this would end badly for Lori. I believed I would never heal.

Les and Carol Cool with Debby (green) and Joy (red)

When 14-year-old Debby and her 13-year-old sister Joy came into our home, we had known them for several years through our church and got along well. We were going to adopt them. The four of us were going to be a family. Some complications required us to get permanent custody first. The day the permanent custody papers came for us to sign—20 months after they moved in with us—Debby walked out, never to return to us. I was at work. Les called to say she had left in a fight over a candy bar (Joy can still tell you what kind it was). I thought they were joking. We all grieved. We all believed we would never heal.

Two years ago, our adopted granddaughter Ashlee came to live with us. She wasn’t adjusting well at home and had become a threat to her brother and Joy. She seemed to do well for the seven months she was here. She wanted to go home. Three weeks back she imploded and things got so bad the adoption was terminated. Again we grieve. It feels like our hearts will never heal.

They do heal, but there are always scars, tender spots that, when poked by a memory, produce pain. And yet . . .

Our lives have been enriched by the presence of each person. There’s the chunk of coal still in our front yard (moved 4 times) from Lauren. There’s the “Bedtime for Bonzolinas” song I made up for Max and Katie that still runs through my head. There’s the word “crookalized” that’s still in our vocabulary thanks to Joy (and her presence in our lives and hearts always). There’s memories of the Chinese tea ceremony at Leslie’s wedding. There are the funny stories of Hannah and Gloria whose Korean father thought it was fine to have his 12- and 13-year-old girls drive on I-95 on the way to Washington, DC. There’s the “Welcome Home, Mor More” sign from Ashlee hanging on my bulletin board. There’s a friendship with Cyndi that’s lasted 30 years, in which she still calls us Mom and Dad.

Yes, I’d do it again. (Why do people ask that? Do they ask that of people who had difficult times with their birth children?) Yes, I’d do things a bit differently. Yes, I’d ask God to help me be more patient with all of them. Yes, I’d try harder to get Lori to stay, to convince Debby to come back, to keep Ashlee here in Pennsylvania (although I don’t believe any of them would have).

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do something every day that scares you.” We didn’t set out to do that, but when you open your heart and your home, it’s scary. Things can break. It’s worth the risk to love as God loves (however imperfectly we manage it).

Open your eyes. There may be someone who needs the warmth of your love and, possibly, your home. Step out and take the risk—even if you don’t receive a personal message from God.

Saturday smiles: short and sweet edition

This week’s highlights:

Phil and I spent two nights in this rustic cabin in Cowan’s Gap State Park. It was a birthday/Mother’s Day/graduation/anniversary getaway trip. And it was perfect.

We hiked.

You might be able to smell the sweat. In this picture we had just climbed a trail marked “very steep.” Note to self: “very steep” in Illinois is not the same as “very steep” in Pennsylvania.

We encountered nature.

Cute, right? It might be poisonous, but the first one of these I saw, I thought it was a toy a kid had left on the trail. Then it moved.

Yep, I need to  be in nature  more often.

The snakes, however, I had no problem believing were real. I love seeing my husband watch creatures we don’t usually see. He thought the snakes were cool and wanted to observe. I wanted to tiptoe around and keep making progress on the trail.

None of this back-to-nature experience would have been possible without grandparents to watch the grandkids, so that is a MAJOR smile-maker this week.

And mountain views. Oh man, did we have mountain views.

I can live the rest of the week — maybe even the month — on this.

What are you smiling about this week?

 

Another winner and another chance to win

Free book Fridays continue. We’re into Week 3 now, and I’d love to see the word spread about this week’s giveaway.

But first, we have a winner from last week! Congratulations to Brian Betsworth, who won a copy of Francis Chan’s Forgotten God. Brian is a pastor friend and seminary classmate (as well as a fellow Bears fan – go Bears!) who is recently married. Let me know how I can get the book to you!

Now, on to the next book.

This week’s offering is a novel by Kathi Macias. People of the Book was the first of her books I’d read, and now I can’t stop. You can read my previous review of People of the Book here. (If you’re interested in other books she’s written that I’ve reviewed, you can find them here, here and here.) It’s a fabulous, thought-provoking, challenging read.

SO HOW DO YOU WIN A COPY? Leave me a comment about how Jesus has changed your life. That’s one entry. Follow me on Twitter (@lmbartelt) or subscribe to the blog via e-mail. (One extra entry each.) Share this giveaway on Facebook or Twitter. (One extra entry each.) So that’s FIVE chances to win. Come back here and leave a separate comment each time you enter. I’ll pick a winner next Thursday and announce it, along with the final FREE book on Friday. Are we having fun yet?

Mystical and captivating: A review of Lost and Found by Ginny Yttrup

How I found Lost and Found is a bit unclear in my memory. Boy, am I glad I did, though.

Here’s what I know: a friend retweeted a giveaway. I left a comment. I won a book. It came in the mail.

And I am changed as a result.

Lost and Found by Ginny Yttrup is loosely based on the life of Madame Jeanne Guyon, a French mystic whose life was marked by suffering and imprisonment for her beliefs. Yttrup takes Guyon’s life and brings into the present in the life of Jenna Bouvier, a woman of faith with family ties to the California wine industry, who by marriage is wealthy yet who suffers mental anguish at the hands of her controlling mother-in-law.

The book follows Jenna’s path to healing,  bringing along her spiritual director Matthew and another young woman, Andee. Yttrup writes chapters in the first-person from the point of view of each of these characters and from the third-person POV of Jenna’s mother-in-law, Brigitte. I’m especially fond of stories written this way, and I appreciate an author who can bring to life numerous characters and write from their perspective.

Lost and Found is Yttrup’s second novel. I’m eager now to read her first. She makes the reader feel the emotions and struggles of these characters in a way I haven’t before experienced in a novel. This is an incredible book. A must-read.

FAVORITES: The novel flows easily and the characters are believable and likable. Their struggles are real. Their responses to their circumstances are inspiring. I connected with them as I would if they were in the flesh. In short, I cared what happened to them, which meant I had a hard time putting the book down.

FAULTS: As I read, I found myself more and more interested in Madame Guyon’s life. Her autobiography and book on prayer are next on my “to-read” list. Not really a fault of the book, but more a fault of mine for not having read these classic works before.

IN A WORD: Intense. I felt a heaviness, in a way, as I read. Like I was sharing in the characters’ sufferings. It was a good intensity, though. One that propelled me forward in the story until it was finished.

The next chapter

My husband graduated from seminary this weekend.

It’s the end of a journey we began four years ago with little knowledge and a lot of faith.

We packed up a U-haul, my dad’s truck and our Saturn, not knowing if we’d have a place to live. Or a job. We didn’t know if we’d find friends. A church family. A community in which to settle. We thought we’d finish seminary in three years. (It took four.)

I didn’t know what living in a small town would be like. (Was Wal-Mart close?)

Our arrival in Myerstown was at least a little quieter than our arrival in Charleston, IL the year before. (We were driving around town the first night and a cop pulled me over in our new driveway for a non-functioning license plate light and a broken tail light. I got a warning. And a friendly welcome.)

It was an adventure in all senses of the word. God provided for us in ways that blew our minds. And He stripped away our dependence on ourselves, our parents, anyone but Him.

His call on our lives to come to Pennsylvania was crystal clear, in spite of the uncertainties and perceived insecurities.

In spite of deep disappointments, dark valleys and discouragement.

In spite of missing family so much it hurts.

In spite of unmet expectations.

And it wasn’t all bad.

Sometimes, it was great.

Like when our family of three became a family of four.

 

Like being so close to Hershey you can practically smell the chocolate.

Like making life friends we’ll never forgot.

Like being counted as family with people who were once strangers.

Like facing an uphill battle and arriving on the other side alive. And victorious.

Yes, this journey has had its ups and downs. Sometimes we were WAY up. And sometimes we were WAY down.

And we’re on the other side.

If life is a story, which I would say it is, then we’ve closed a chapter and opened a new one.

Today, we are no longer in seminary. My husband has a master’s degree. He’s an alumnus. He has no papers due. No assignments. No upcoming classes. We don’t have to order any books.

Today, my husband is taking me away for three days. To reconnect as a couple. To pray for the future. To celebrate our May milestones: my birthday, Mother’s Day, graduation and our five-year wedding anniversary (later this month).

Today, we begin another adventure, destination unknown.

We are not entering full-time paid church ministry at this time. My husband is looking for a job. We might move. We have a couple of months’ living expenses stashed away while we make these decisions.

Uncertainty and insecurity threaten again. We don’t know the next step. We know God, though, and we know He is good. And faithful. And walking with us. He will not forsake us. He has not abandoned us. He is leading us.

The next chapter is blank, as far as we can see it. We are pursuing opportunities, waiting for God to show us the next part of our story with Him.

The adventure continues.

We invite you along on the journey. It could be a bumpy ride.

Pray with us as we seek God.

How can we pray for you? And what adventure is God taking you on?

 

Saturday Smiles: Graduation edition

This is how we spent our Saturday.

A day we have looked forward to for what seems like a VERY long time. A day of happy tears. Of being with family and friends. Of remembering how far we’ve come. And the places we have yet to go.

My husband’s name is on the degree. We all earned it, though.

And here’s how we pre-celebrated.

A trip to the National Zoo in Washington, D.C.

It’s been an incredibly happy weekend for us.

May yours be equally as smile-worthy!

Free book Friday: A winner and another book to give away

Here we are — week two of free book Fridays in May. Last week I offered up Jody Hedlund‘s The Doctor’s Lady as the first book in the month-long giveaway. And I’m pleased to announce the winner.

Heather said this about memorable birthday gifts:

“Sadly I don’t have any memorable birthday gifts. But I’d still love to win…”

She was picked by Random.org, but having NO memorable birthday gifts? That’s a reason to win. So, congratulations, Heather. E-mail me, lmbartelt[at]gmail.com, your address and I’ll send your book!

This week’s pick is Forgotten God by Francis Chan. A couple of years ago I received a gift card to a local Christian book store, and I was overwhelmed by my choices. So many books, so little money on the gift card (comparatively speaking!). I’d heard of Francis Chan, mainly from his first book Crazy Love. I hadn’t read that book at the time. (I’m currently reading it now.) This book drew me. Chan explores the role of the Holy Spirit in the Christian’s and the church’s life. As the title would suggest, we often neglect the Spirit in our everyday spirituality.

Chan makes some excellent points and follows each chapter with a story of a person or couple who has followed the Spirit’s leading to do something that, without God, would be utterly unbelievable.

Best takeaway for me from this book is the idea that we need to attempt things that can only be attributed to God. If we only do things in our own power, then we don’t need to trust the Spirit’s leading and guidance. Check out a sample chapter here.

So, what do you think? Sound like a book you want to read? I’m giving away my copy, which may have a few underlines. (What can I say? I’m a note-maker.)

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN WIN: Leave a comment on the blog telling me what role, if any, the Holy Spirit plays in your life OR what you think His role should be. That’s worth one entry.

FOR MORE CHANCES TO WIN: Share this giveaway on Facebook or Twitter (1 entry each), follow me on Twitter (1 entry) or subscribe to this blog via e-mail (1 entry).

Spread the word! I’ll pick a winner next Thursday, May 17th and announce it, along with the next week’s free book on Friday.

Science, suffering and faith: review of Godforsaken by Dinesh D’Souza

“Bad things happen. Is there a God who cares? Yes. Here’s proof.”

This subtitle to Godforsaken by Dinesh D’Souza, college president and noted apologist, itself is a lot to take in. Most of us have probably wondered something along these lines at one time or another. D’Souza is known for debating atheists on various subjects, so at first, I thought maybe this book was meant to convince those who don’t believe that there is indeed a loving God who cares about this messed-up suffering-filled world.

In part, that is his purpose.

What I didn’t expect was how mind-blowing and belief-altering his arguments would be for me. D’Souza unapologetically uses science to defend a world where suffering is present. And the use of science doesn’t break the foundation of faith. In fact, it strengthens it. Science was not my favorite subject in school and I admittedly don’t think a lot about it now. What I learned in this book, though, renews my interest, especially in terms of how science and faith can work together. In the past I thought they were mutually exclusive. Not so. Science confirms creation. You’ll have to read it to believe it.

In that way, and others, this is not an easy read. The way D’Souza thinks and writes wasn’t easy for me to read. My seminarian husband warned me that the book might be “thick.” It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand what he was saying; it’s that he writes the way I would assume he debates. He’s preparing a defense, shooting down arguments. That works for a debate. In a book, it’s a bit awkward and one-sided. He quotes many books written by atheists whom he’s debated, so we do get that side of the argument in a sense.

Godforsaken is no light read. It is beneficial, though, to atheists and believers alike.

FAVORITES: D’Souza’s revelations about the nature of suffering and the creation of the world rocked me in a good way. I appreciate books that challenge my previous assumptions and belief systems. I’m not sure I agree with everything he writes, but I’m interested in further study.

FAULTS: In the first 100 pages or so, the author spends a lot of time building up to what he’s going to tell us later. It was the slowest part of the book. When I got to his conclusions, I couldn’t put the book down. He has reasons for building up to his main point, but I almost gave up on the book before I got to where he was going.

IN A WORD: Challenging. This is the kind of book I’m going to need to go back and spend more time with. My husband took a class on suffering this semester, and I wish I had been reading it sooner in the semester so we could have talked about D’Souza’s claims in relation to what he was learning.

For another look at the book, check out the Godforsaken trailer.

——————-

In exchange for this review, I received a free copy of Godforsaken from Tyndale House Publishers through the Tyndale Blog Network.

I Review For The Tyndale Blog Network

————————————————

WE HAVE A WINNER!: Congratulations to Karen B. You won a copy of Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer. E-mail me at lmbartelt(at)gmail.com with your address so I can send you a copy.